Lately, Xiao Lan had really been pissing me off. The more women praised him, the more I hated him. When he smiled at others, I felt angry. I wanted to walk over and tear that smile off his face. I didn't hate Xiao Lan's smile itself; when he smiled, he looked handsome, like Prince Charming without a golden crown. When he smiled, any woman would kneel before him.
I liked Xiao Lan's smile, but I hated when he smiled at others, especially young people. After what he did to me, I felt that I was entitled to his smile. I read about these feelings online. According to Google, these symptoms are called "jealousy," but Google isn't always correct. No way would I be jealous of Xiao Lan; after all, we were enemies, and the most important thing was that we were both men. I swore to God, if I were jealous of Xiao Lan, I would eat my own shit for breakfast every morning.
Today, Xiao Lan and I were going to see Jack and Alicia's lawyer. We still had time before the meeting, so I decided to go to the farmers' market. I liked the freshness of local farmers' markets, and I liked to be as supportive as possible as a good local citizen. Since I was (technically) blind and hadn't entered the market until now, all I had to do was try not to be too far away from Xiao Lan. I saw a flower booth, and these flowers reminded me of my mother.
I took Xiao Lan's hand, and we quickly crossed the road to the other side. Once we were standing in front of the flower booth, I said, "Xiao Lan, let's get a bouquet of flowers. When we go home, I want to put it in front of my mother's grave." When the young florist saw Xiao Lan, I could tell she was floating on cloud nine.
The florist asked, "What can I do for you?" She smiled as if there were no tomorrow. I swear I thought I saw the corners of her mouth reach her ears.
I said grumpily, "Roses." I noticed she didn't even look at me; her question was directed at Xiao Lan. I chewed the gum inside my mouth loudly and watched the bastard Xiao Lan flirt with the young florist.
The florist asked Xiao Lan, "How many roses do you need?"
Xiao Lan, the jerk, replied with a smile, "One of each color."
I finally interjected, "No, all red." The way the two of them flirted annoyed me. "I don't have all day for you to flirt with her." I turned my head to look the other way and accidentally looked across the street, seeing the morning news report.
The young reporter said, "Today, the immigrant murderer will be sentenced to 40 years in prison. Thanks to the efforts of our police, this appalling crime has been resolved."
I growled madly, "The police efforts, my ass."
I watched the young florist carefully select each rose and trim all the thorns. Her eyes rolled between Xiao Lan and the thorns. The little young florist was like a thorn, puncturing all my ten fingers. She worked like a snail. After a decade of picking, trimming, and wrapping the bouquet of flowers, she finally said, "A bouquet of roses is two hundred and fifty yuan." The florist looked at Xiao Lan and smiled. "I gave you a discount."
Xiao Lan replied with a smile, "Thank you." He then picked up a pink rose. "How much is this?"
"Thirty yuan."
"This is five hundred yuan. You don't need to return the change to me." He handed the pink rose to the florist. "This rose suits you well."
"Have you finished flirting?" I gritted my teeth. Just as I was about to punch Xiao Lan, my phone rang. I reached inside my pocket and answered the phone. "Yes."
"Sir, everything is resolved. If you could meet Mrs. Chen to hand over the check to the children's hospital."
"We'll be there soon, if a certain someone isn't flirting."
Jack said, "Sir, you sound pissed off."
I said, "No, I'm not. I just got a little annoyed." I walked forward.
Jack asked, "Who is this person that can make you pissed off?"
I replied, "No, I don't even think it's a person."
"Must be something? What is it?"
"Nothing." I turned around and saw the florist holding Xiao Lan's hand. "Xiao Lan, you jerk!" I grabbed the closest items on my right hand and threw them at Xiao Lan.
Xiao Lan turned around reflexively and caught an orange with his right hand. He smiled and gave the orange he caught to the young florist, which made me even more angry. Who the hell did he think he was? Even if the oranges were thrown at him, he shouldn't give them to someone he didn't know. If you asked me, even if I threw the orange to him, he should peel the orange and feed them to me piece by piece as an apology.
His behavior didn't solve any problems but made me hate him even more. I gritted my teeth and said angrily, "You dare to provoke me, you jerk?" I breathed heavily through my nose. "I'm going to orange you to death!"
I angrily put my cell phone down on the wagon and grabbed the oranges on the cart and started throwing them at Xiao Lan. I watched Xiao Lan flip around like a peacock shimmering his tail, flying and circling the female peacocks, showing off his skills to attract the females' attention. Xiao Lan caught my thrown oranges one after another and handed them to the people surrounding him. While all this was happening, and everyone was clapping and cheering, I felt like an arrow ready to pierce Xiao Lan's chest. Everyone was taken aback by Xiao Lan's performance, while my blood was boiling, and I was ready to burn Xiao Lan alive.
I reached for more oranges, but I grabbed the owner's supplier's hand instead. I turned around, and the middle-aged man smiled at me.
The supplier said to me with a smile, "That would be five thousand yuan. Usually, I charge by kilograms."
I said in surprise, "Five thousand yuan?" I looked angrily at Xiao Lan. "I'm not paying!"
"Did you pick up all my oranges and throw them at that handsome man?" He pointed at Xiao Lan.
"Yes, but he provoked it."
The supplier said, "Listen, man, I don't care what happened between you and your spouse, but you touched my oranges, and you have to pay for it. If not, I'll call the police."
I said, "Your oranges haven't been eaten yet. I asked them to get your oranges back."
The supplier looked at me and said, "Once they leave my shopping cart, I'm not taking them back, so pay up." He looked at the people. "Does anyone have a video clip of this man throwing my oranges at the athletic handsome man?"
"Yes!" Everyone stood on the other side of the street and said at once. When I looked to the other side of the street, everyone that Xiao Lan had given an orange to raise their right hand with their cellphone.
I picked up the phone. Jack didn't seem to have hung up yet. I sighed twice. I said, "Jack, someone will call you and ask for five thousand yuan in property damages."
Jack replied, "Yes, sir."
"Settle this matter as soon as possible; the person is eager to get it done." As soon as I turned around, I saw Xiao Lan walking towards me with a smile. "Asshole!"
Jack said, "Sir, I haven't started yet, don't rush in calling me asshole."
I apologized, "Sorry, that word wasn't for you."
The supplier looked at me angrily and asked, "That word was spoken to me?"
Xiao Lan said, "That word was spoken to me." He looked at the supplier. "I apologize." Xiao Lan smiled at the supplier.
"Call this person, and he'll take care of everything for you." I put Jack's card on the table, grabbed my rose bouquet, and walked away.
"Jig, don't be too far away from me, or you won't be able to see."
"I'd rather not see." I turned around, but my left foot stepped on the edge of the sidewalk and lost my balance. Xiao Lan grabbed my hand and pulled me into his arms. I was still angry with him and quickly pushed him away. "I'm not so weak that you need to support me."
"Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" Xiao Lan dared to ask me. "You've been angry all morning."
I smiled at him quickly, "No, I'm not." I walked forward. "You're wasting my time. We have to go to the law firm quickly."
We got in the car, and I didn't even look at Xiao Lan. The driver pulled the car into the street.
"Turn yourself into Alicia. We're meeting the lawyers."
Xiao Lan let out a chuckle.
"I can hear."
"Well, next time I won't flirt with anyone."
I said, "You can flirt with anyone you like." I looked at him madly. "But flirt when we're not busy."
"Jig." Xiao Lan turned to look at me. "If you're jealous, just say it."
I quickly turned to face Xiao Lan. I looked at him angrily.
"If I'm jealous of you, I'll eat my own shit every morning!"
Xiao Lan said, "Okay."
Xiao Lan hugged me by the waist and pulled me closer to him. He kissed me. He pressed me on the back seat and jumped on top of me.
I muttered to myself, struggling to break free, "Xiao Lan."
Xiao Lan didn't listen to me, and didn't feel ashamed. He continued to kiss me and started to unbutton my pants.
Xiao Lan whispered into my left ear, "There are still thirty minutes away from the law firm. With traffic stops, we have about forty-five minutes." He continued to kiss me.