"Quite a lot… huh? I'm not a lolicon, but… I really wanna see who gets summoned…" Noysd said, laughing in a suspiciously evil manner.
"What's with that creepy laugh?" Loriana asked cutely, holding the dress Noysd mentioned last chapter.
"Heheheheheheheh~ I'm gonna summon someone that will make me go to jail… heheheheheh~" Noysd continued, now laughing like a mad scientist on discount meds.
{User... aren't you supposed to be the hero? Not the Saturday morning cartoon villain?} the system asked, very much concerned.
"Huh? When did I ever say I was a hero?" Noysd replied, genuinely confused.
{Well… other MCs in novels are always heroes or villains… mostly heroes.}
"Hey, just 'cause we're in a novel doesn't mean I have to be a hero. Heck, I literally let an entire planet get destroyed even though I could've saved it."
{Wait—what?!}
"Yeah, but I finished my mission there, so… boom. Bye-bye, Planet X. I had lunch reservations," Noysd shrugged, clicking on the "Yandere Loli Gacha" like it was the stock market and he had insider info.
{...Right. So what are you then?}
"Heh~ I'm a selfish bastard. I do whatever benefits me, my lovers, my servants, or my family," Noysd said casually, like it was the most normal thing to say while rolling gacha.
{So... a neutral alignment then?}
"Nope. Neutral people only act if you mess with them. Me? I act even when you don't. If I see something I want, I take it. Even if you're just minding your business brushing your teeth."
As he stared at the summoning screen, a jackpot slot machine-style interface popped up.
[7] [7]
"Yes! One more seven!" Noysd clenched his fists.
The final reel slowed…
[7] – JACKPOT! Random UR Summon unlocked!
"I used up most of my luck… again…" Noysd muttered, his limbs twisted like a crash-test dummy from a failed IKEA commercial.
"...Heal," he said nonchalantly. His body made some questionable popping noises before snapping back into shape like Play-Doh in
(somewhere)
In a massive room filled with luxurious furniture, a woman was sleeping peacefully.
She looked to be in her twenties, with long white hair that fell to her waist. Her beauty could charm kings, with a slim hourglass figure and modest B-cup—because plot. She stood around 5'6" and wore a silky blue nightgown.
"...Aaaaah!?" she screamed suddenly, waking up drenched in sweat and breathing like she just ran a marathon in a horror movie.
"What was that dream?" she whispered, looking toward her ornate closet.
"Grynford!" she called out. In an instant, a man in a sharp butler outfit appeared from literal nowhere.
"Yes, Lady Kohaku?" he asked, kneeling politely like the furniture wasn't mildly judging him.
"When's the last time I woke up screaming from a dream?" Kohaku asked while rubbing her eyes.
"Approximately… when the man named Noysd Walker made a deal with the god Emirp. Why do you ask, my lady?"
"I've been dreaming again… about him," Kohaku muttered as she began stretching like a suspiciously flexible ballerina.
"May I ask what the dreams entail, Lady Kohaku?" Grynford inquired while gracefully standing.
"I don't remember. But I know they're tied to that man…"
"You mean Noysd Walker?" he asked while fetching a Victorian-style dress from the closet.
"Yes. Now shoo, Grynford. I need to change."
"Very well, my lady," he bowed, then poofed out of existence like a magician who just rage-quit.
Kohaku sighed. "Who the hell is that man?"
(back to noysd)
"Alright, bones healed. No internal bleeding. Gacha time!" Noysd cheered. "System! Use the Random Yandere Loli UR!"
A blue window appeared:
[You've summoned: >]
"I've summoned…" Noysd muttered with bated breath.
[You've summoned: > Yoshino Himekawa]
"Wait—Yoshino? Isn't she from Date A Live? That quiet blue-haired girl with the creepy bunny puppet... what was it called again? Yoshinok? No… Yoshinon! Right!"
Just as he was admiring the new summon, a feminine and clearly annoyed voice echoed behind him.
"You're summoning again? It's only been ten hours!"
"...Mom?" Noysd turned around nervously, spotting Loriana pouting with max cuteness stat.
"Well, you see… I'm a gacha maniac, so—"
"Hmph! Young man! Can't you at least spend time with your first summon before going after the next one?" she huffed.
"Ahhh~ so cuuute," Noysd grinned, pinching her cheeks.
"Stop it!" Loriana screamed, biting his hand like a rabid chihuahua.
"AAAGH—so soft… and so much pain…" Noysd whimpered.
"Sorry, Mom…" Noysd said sheepishly, wrapping a bandage around his now cartoonishly swollen hand.
"Call me Lori," she said, pouting and turning her head away like a tsundere in denial.
"Fine, Lori…" he sighed.
"Good. Now… who did you summon?"
"You wouldn't know her, trust me. Let's just summon and see her in person."
He clicked the summon again.
(Javier: Sí, nunca cierra la ventana.)
"I wonde—" Loriana began, but then—FLASH! A blinding light engulfed the room, forcing both Noysd and Loriana to squint and stumble back.
[HOW THE HELL DID I GET AFFECTED TOO!?] the system shouted.
"My eyes!!!
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I change the system font to match mine...that all byeeeeeeeeee
To be continued