"Shut it Potter!" Ron demanded "you do not talk to me like that! I am way better than you ever will be!"
"Tell me Ron, was your intelligence always at this low of a level or did you have to take classes to get it that down?"
"I'm not stupid!"
"I'm not saying you're stupid" Harry replied "I'm just saying your brain is severely underworked and you have the worst luck in the world when it comes to thinking. Although, I suspect that if a cannibal bust your head open, he would probably have just enough to cover a small sandwich."
"Harry" Dumbledore tried to interrupt
"Hermione" Harry turned to the bushy haired girl "how are we today? Look at you, have you been sleeping properly?" Hermione glared at him "I mean look at you, you're clothes are all messed up, your hair looks ridiculous and the bags under your eyes look big enough to carry my books. I would've thought that someone as intelligent as you would've worked out that your brain and body needs sleep and food to operate at maximum capacity and…wait, should I explain what a brain is for you? Perhaps another time, I don't have the effort nor the crayons necessary to explain it to you at the moment"
"Would you please shut the bloody hell up?!" Hermione yelled. Harry leaned back and plastered a faked expression of hurt
"Alright, first of all, language" Harry said mockingly "second of all it is really no problem, I know that you're not the brightest spark from a wand so I really don't mind"
"Stop that!" Hermione demanded "I am smart! I am the smartest witch in my year and I am smarter than everyone else! My type of intelligence is rare and…"
"I agree with you" Harry cut her off "you're a person of rare intelligence…it's incredibly rare for you to show any"
"Harry!" Dumbledore interrupted before Hermione could reply "I've brought you here to discuss a few important matters"
"Clearly, it must be important as it seems that it's important enough to deprive a village of its idiot" Harry gestured to Ron "and to get the book worm out of its hole in the library" He gestured to Hermione.
"Harry" Dumbledore continued "I have been told that you are planning to leave the school as soon as you and your wife receive your results."
"Yes" Harry nodded "in fact we are so eager that one of our elves be sent to collect our results, less chance of it getting lost or taken by owl post" Dumbledore mentally growled as Harry had already taken preparations against one potential plan.
"Harry I think it would be best if you stay at Hogwarts"
"I don't" Harry replied "me and Ginny have talked to the teachers and they all agreed that with our level of skill and intelligence it is pointless for us to stay here anymore"
"Please" Ron scoffed "like you're that smart"
"Ronald, everyone has a right to be stupid but you are, quite frankly, abusing that privilege at the moment" Harry replied "not even a tiny bit of abusing, like, full on physical abuse. The type where you would hang it upside down and beat it and torture it and starve it for days on end, the type that would stay with it all of its life.
Me and Ginny are and have always been the best in our year, we always consistently get the highest marks on homework and exams. If you don't believe me then you can look at the sheet in the common room with all the test results, although you may have to ask Hermione to read it for you as some of the words and numbers are pretty big."
"Harry" Dumbledore spoke again "would you please stop insulting Mr Weasley and Miss Granger?"
"I will not" Harry shook his head "I'm hoping that if keep talking then they will eventually say something intelligent"
"Harry, if you keep this up then I will put you in detention"
"Oh my god!" Harry exclaimed "the stupid is contagious! You've got it too Dumbledore! You seem to have forgotten the fact that you can't punish me, now can we please hurry this meeting up? As far as I'm aware there is no cure for being an idiot and I need to get away from you lot before I catch it"
"Harry, it would be best if you remain at Hogwarts"
"I disagree" Harry disagreed "it takes up a lot of time, time which could be better spent getting rid of death eaters. I trust you heard about the incident with my cousin"
"Yes I have" Dumbledore nodded "I must say I am proud that you chose not to hurt him"
"Believe me when I say it was tempting, but like I said, I only harm those who deserve it. My cousin is a burden to society and a physical burden to the ground he walks on but he at least limits his activities to making people miserable, the muggle police can deal with him."
"But there is also the matter of those death eaters you killed"
"They got off easy in my opinion" Harry responded "look Dumbledore, I know what you are planning. You think that you need me at Hogwarts so you can help me 'see the light' and realize that what I'm doing is wrong. It wouldn't take a genius to guess what you think about me, so Hermione and Ron could probably guess what you think about me, you think I'm going dark, don't you?"
"Well you clearly are" Hermione blurted out before Dumbledore could say anything "you are unbelievably powerful, you're a parsletounge, you refuse to listen to the headmaster and you kill people"
....
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