Chapter 293: Dreaming Big, Shopping Small, and Temperature-Controlled Incubus
Floating lazily in the vast expanse of the dream realm, Malik lay suspended comfortably in midair, his dark curls gently fluttering as if caught in an ethereal breeze. A scroll unfurled before him, glowing softly in gold-and-pink luminescence, gently illuminating his thoughtful face as he scrolled through a seemingly endless list of purchasable skills and upgrades.
The Twin Goddesses were off somewhere—doing godly stuff, Malik supposed, probably having tea with celestial beings, discussing the latest cosmic gossip, or just trying on divine robes. Whatever gods did in their spare time, it wasn't his business. He shrugged softly to himself and returned his gaze to the menu.
"Alright," Malik said aloud, his voice bouncing playfully in the empty dream space. "Let's see what shiny new skills Malik the Magnificent can snag today."
His finger hovered over a shimmering golden option labeled with an ornate script:
Skill 1: Comfort Connoisseur Aura (Lv.13)
Type: Passive/Aura
Description:
Activate this aura whenever you sleep or rest in any location. Your mere presence gradually transforms and upgrades your surroundings into a sanctuary of wealth, luxury, and ultimate comfort. Even the most unpleasant of environments—a dank cave, a filthy hut, or a rundown motel room—will, over time, become a lavish haven worthy of royalty. Pillows grow impossibly plush, sheets become as smooth as silk, and the air itself carries a soft fragrance of opulence.
Effect: Environmental beautification, luxury enhancement, and atmosphere improvement proportional to duration of stay.
Growth Potential: Higher skill levels reduce the required time and increase the degree of luxuriousness created. At the highest level, even a muddy roadside ditch becomes a palace overnight.
Malik immediately clicked 'Buy,' and the scroll gave a satisfying shimmer, confirming his choice. "Now we're talkin'," he murmured, a wide grin crossing his features. "No more sleeping in dirty, boring places—though, honestly, when was the last time I ever did that? Better safe than sorry, I guess!"
Next up, Malik eyed another skill thoughtfully:
Skill 2: Infinite Closet of Love (Lv.13)
Type: Inventory/Storage
Description:
A mystical pocket-dimension inventory tailored exclusively for storing clothes, accessories, and gifts bought for your beloved fiancées and wives. No matter how much you buy, you'll never run out of room again. Items can be summoned or returned with a simple thought, keeping your loved ones' closets and bedrooms blissfully uncluttered.
Effect: Infinite storage space specifically designed for clothing, accessories, shoes, and gifts for significant others. Instant retrieval and storage.
Special Bonus: Automatically organizes stored items by fiancée and category (formal wear, casual wear, intimate wear, etc.).
Malik paused here, laughing quietly to himself. He couldn't help but recall recent conversations he'd had with some of his fiancées.
Flashback 1: Sakura Haruno 🌸
He remembered clearly Sakura's stern face in her cozy bedroom, arms crossed over her chest, her tone gentle yet exasperated.
"Malik," she sighed, brushing pink strands behind her ear. "Listen, I adore everything you've ever bought me—truly—but, seriously, my closet can't handle any more! Clothes are spilling out into the hallway now!"
Malik had shrugged playfully, giving her puppy-dog eyes. "But, Cherry Blossom Queen, you look perfect in everything!"
She had rolled her eyes dramatically. "Compliments won't buy me a bigger closet, Malik. Stop shopping... at least until I move into a bigger house, okay?"
Flashback 2: Neji Hyuga 🎐
The memory shifted to a luxurious dressing room, where Neji stood gracefully in front of a tall mirror, frowning slightly as she struggled to button a beautiful silk blouse across her impressively generous bust.
"Malik, honestly, do you have to make every shopping trip a challenge?" Her lavender-tinted eyes narrowed playfully at him in the mirror.
Malik leaned comfortably against the wall, smiling warmly at her. "Neji, my lovely Byakugan princess, consider this an adventure! Every perfect outfit is a treasure found."
Neji sighed, but her lips curled into a fond smile. "Fine, I'll wear them—but understand this: every single piece stays at your house. My closet has surrendered. You've conquered it."
Flashback 3: Kiba Inuzuka 🐺
Finally, his memory drifted to Kiba's wild glare in the bustling market, her sharp canine teeth visible as she growled softly at him.
"Malik! Enough with the cutesy outfits!" Her vertical pupils narrowed dangerously, clawed fingers flexing slightly.
Malik had chuckled, completely unfazed, leaning down and pinching her cheek playfully. "Aww, but you're adorable, Kiba-chan!"
Without hesitation, she bit his hand sharply, causing him to jump back with a yelp. "Stop calling me cute, you flashy idiot!"
Returning from his memories, Malik shook his head fondly and clicked the 'Buy' button. The scroll shimmered again, confirming his choice.
"Problem solved," he announced triumphantly. "Infinite Closet, here we come. Now the loves of my life can stop complaining—or at least find a different thing to complain about."
Lastly, Malik eyed a particularly appealing skill—this one felt rather timely considering the recent weather.
Skill 3: Incubus Body: Temperature Control (Lv.13)
Type: Passive/Bodily Enhancement
Description:
Your incubus physiology adapts to effortlessly regulate body temperature, making you impervious to uncomfortable climates. Extreme heat, bitter cold, and sudden weather shifts will no longer bother you in the slightest. Feel comfortable and perfectly temperate no matter the external conditions.
Effect: Permanent, perfect bodily temperature regulation. You no longer get uncomfortably hot, cold, or sweaty, if you don't want to.
Special Bonus: Your skin always feels invitingly comfortable to others, neither too hot nor too cold.
Malik didn't even hesitate, quickly tapping to purchase. "Thank you, dream shopping!" he declared with a satisfied sigh. "No more sweating my butt off. Goodbye, swampy days, hello, always comfortable incubus Malik."
He paused, floating languidly, and spoke dramatically to the empty space again. "I can see it now—standing dramatically under the blazing sun, everyone else sweating buckets, and there I'll be, fresh as ever. They'll look at me and cry out, 'Oh, Malik, you dazzling beacon of chill! Share your coolness with us!'"
He smirked, entertained by his own theatrics, before continuing with an exaggerated tone. "And I, benevolent incubus that I am, will generously reply: 'Sorry, folks. Some things are just naturally perfect—and that's me.'"
Laughing at his own dramatization, Malik stretched out in the dreamy space, his scroll rolling itself back up neatly.
"Three brand-new skills. Three fewer headaches. Three more ways Malik stays the most ridiculously comfortable, pampered incubus to ever float through dreams," he mused aloud.
"And Sakura, Neji, and Kiba might just finally forgive me for flooding their closets… or at least they'll find something new to fuss about." He chuckled at the thought.
The scroll vanished gently, the dreamy space humming softly with warmth.
"Ah well," Malik sighed contentedly. "Better check in with the Twin Goddesses soon, wherever they've wandered off to. Can't have them getting bored without their favorite incubus around."
He smiled sleepily, drifting gently through the tranquil expanse of his dream realm, satisfied with his clever purchases.
After all, being Malik meant dreaming big, shopping small, and never, ever being uncomfortable again.
What a life.
Still Floating gently like a Total G, in the endless expanse of the dream world, Malik's eyes flickered across the glowing skill menu one final time. He squinted slightly, tapping his chin with a thoughtful finger as he scrolled down, skimming the offerings with a critical eye.
"Hmmm," he murmured to himself, shaking his head lightly. "These skills aren't exactly jumping out at me. I think my shopping spree might be done for now." He let out an exaggerated sigh, allowing himself a dramatic slump midair, arms crossed over his chest. "Too bad. I was really enjoying this shopping trip."
His voice echoed softly, blending into the dreamy silence. Malik's thoughts began drifting lazily, aimlessly floating—right up until he suddenly felt a presence behind him, causing his skin to prickle in surprise.
"Having fun shopping, Malik?" a warm, gently teasing voice whispered softly behind him.
Malik jumped, whirling around sharply midair, eyes wide as his heart skipped a beat in startled panic.
"Mikoto! Sweet Twin Goddesses, warn a guy next time!" he gasped dramatically, clutching his chest, feigning exaggerated heart palpitations. "You scared my handsome incubus soul right out of my body!"
Standing effortlessly before him, Mikoto Uchiha smiled warmly, her eyes dancing with amusement as she held a glowing paper lantern lightly between her delicate fingers. Her appearance was different from her usual motherly look: instead of the familiar apron and domestic wear, she wore an elegant midnight-blue kimono embroidered with silver blossoms, perfectly fitted, hugging her graceful figure. Her long, silky black hair cascaded softly down her shoulders and back, framing her gentle face, the lantern's soft glow accentuating her delicate features.
"I didn't startle you on purpose, of course," Mikoto replied with a barely suppressed giggle, clearly indicating she absolutely had. Her black eyes sparkled playfully, and Malik couldn't help but smile back.
"Mikoto, if you're going to give me a heart attack, at least wear something less distractingly beautiful," Malik teased, finally composing himself. "I can't stay startled when I'm this charmed."
She shook her head softly, rolling her eyes slightly as her smile widened.
"Ever the flirt, Malik," Mikoto laughed gently, stepping closer, causing her graceful kimono to ripple slightly in a dreamlike breeze.
He glanced down curiously at the glowing lantern dangling from her fingers, tilting his head. "How exactly did you get here anyway? I thought I was alone shopping for dream skills."
Mikoto raised the softly glowing lantern higher, the warm golden-pink light illuminating her face delicately.
"You forget, Malik," she explained gently, her voice like silk in the dream world, "when you brought me back to life, you gave me this lantern. It allows me to move freely within this realm, especially when you're actively dreaming. Plus, you explicitly granted me permission to enter your dreams. You're practically a beacon out here, impossible to miss."
She smirked softly, eyes twinkling knowingly.
Malik chuckled sheepishly, floating a little closer. "Of course. I'm always drawing attention, even in the dream world. How very Malik of me."
"You've always been a subtle man," Mikoto teased gently, her expression softening again.
"Thanks, Mikoto," Malik replied with exaggerated solemnity. "I pride myself on my discretion and humility."
They both laughed softly at his absurdity, their voices echoing sweetly through the infinite expanse.
Malik's expression turned slightly more curious, floating closer and looking genuinely intrigued.
"But seriously," he said softly, a gentler warmth coming into his voice. "Why don't you ever come visit me when we're awake? I mean, I'm not exactly hard to find in the waking world either. Trust me, everyone knows where Malik's mansion is."
Mikoto's gentle eyes grew briefly distant, a flicker of sadness slipping across her features before she masterfully masked it. But Malik was far too attuned to emotions to miss it.
"I'm kept busy," Mikoto replied softly, her voice steady and calm despite the emotional undercurrent Malik could feel radiating gently from her. "I've been teaching at the Academy. The students there... they need guidance. They want guidance. I suppose it makes me feel... needed again."
Malik floated even closer, gently drifting to her side, eyes softening empathetically as he reached out and lightly touched her shoulder, offering comfort without overwhelming her.
He knew exactly why being needed mattered so much to her. Her two children—Sasuke and Itachi—had both become rogue shinobi, leaving a painful void within her heart, a sense of failure she didn't deserve to carry, but bore anyway. Her work at the Academy was her refuge, her gentle redemption.
"You're amazing at it, Mikoto," Malik offered sincerely, his voice gentle and kind. "You're a natural teacher. Those kids are incredibly lucky to have you."
Mikoto's smile softened into something deeply grateful, her dark eyes shining warmly at him. "Thank you, Malik. That means a lot."
Sensing a shift toward melancholy, Malik quickly shifted tactics, attempting to lighten the mood. He flashed a playful grin, leaning closer conspiratorially.
"Hey, Mikoto, wanna hear a joke?" he asked abruptly, eyes glinting mischievously.
She blinked, slightly confused, raising an elegant eyebrow. "A joke? Right now?"
"Absolutely," Malik declared dramatically. "What do you call a ninja who loves sweets too much?"
She sighed softly, bracing herself. "Alright... what?"
"A sugar shinobi!" he finished triumphantly, smiling like he'd won a battle.
Mikoto stared at him blankly for a moment, processing his truly terrible humor. Then a small laugh slipped out, her eyes shining in amusement and disbelief.
"That was terrible, Malik," she chided lightly, unable to hide her fondness. "Absolutely terrible."
"Yes," Malik agreed happily, smiling brightly. "But it made you smile, didn't it?"
She shook her head lightly, trying unsuccessfully to hide her grin. "You are impossible."
Malik floated slightly closer, nudging her playfully, his golden-pink eyes warm. "Since we're both here, why don't we do something fun together? How about we go visit some dreams? You know, spy on people's subconscious adventures."
Mikoto tilted her head slightly, intrigued, smiling thoughtfully. "Isn't that considered rude, Malik?"
"Not rude," Malik replied, feigning seriousness. "Just… educational. Plus, I'm basically the god of dream adventures. Completely ethical. Trust me."
She laughed softly again, relaxing visibly, her beautiful kimono gently shimmering around her. "Alright, Malik. Let's say we do explore some dreams—any idea whose dreams we should visit first?"
He shrugged gently, smiling playfully. "Well, I did offer, Mikoto. It's your call—anyone specific you're curious about? Friend? Enemy? Maybe a student? This is your chance to peek behind the curtain."
Mikoto considered carefully, thoughtful eyes flickering briefly with uncertainty. Then she softly smiled, determination forming.
"Actually, I've always wondered about Lady Tsunade's dreams," she finally admitted. "She seems so stern and composed, yet I have a feeling her dreams might surprise us."
Malik's eyes widened dramatically, his grin stretching eagerly across his face. "Oh ho ho, Mikoto, you naughty little spy! Peeking into Tsunade's secret thoughts? This sounds deliciously scandalous."
Mikoto's cheeks flushed slightly, waving her hands quickly in protest, laughing embarrassedly. "No! Not scandalous! I just mean… she's always so strong. I wonder if she ever dreams of rest, of peace, something softer."
Malik chuckled softly, nodding in understanding. "Then let's go find out. After all, you have the magical lantern, and I've got unlimited dream exploration privileges. Together, we'll be the best dream detective duo."
She smiled warmly at his enthusiasm, stepping closer as he gently took her free hand in his, his warm magic softly wrapping around them both.
"Lead the way, Malik," Mikoto said softly, her voice gentle and trusting.
Malik winked playfully. "Hold tight, Mikoto—off to explore Lady Tsunade's mysterious dreamscape!"
They vanished gently into the soft shimmering mist, their laughter echoing sweetly through the boundless expanse, leaving behind only peaceful silence and the gentle glow of forgotten dreams.