The moment Harry stepped through the shimmering golden portal into Kamar-Taj, he felt the shift in atmosphere like a slap to the face. Cool, crisp mountain air. The faint scent of incense and ancient parchment. The distant hum of magic woven into the very foundation of the place. It was peaceful. Serene.
Which meant, obviously, that something was about to go horribly, spectacularly wrong.
Because if there was one universal constant in Harry's life—besides magic, sarcasm, and the crushing weight of his responsibilities—it was that peace and quiet never lasted long.
Still, for the moment, everything seemed normal. Or, at least, as normal as things got in a hidden temple of reality-warping sorcerers.
He found Jean, Ororo, and Tonks in one of the open-air training courtyards, bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun. Jean was floating. Of course she was. Levitating cross-legged above the stone floor like she was the human embodiment of an inspirational yoga poster, her fiery red hair catching the light as a dozen spellbooks hovered around her in synchronized orbit.
Ororo stood nearby, graceful and composed as always, watching Tonks with the kind of patient amusement usually reserved for toddlers trying to tie their own shoes.
Tonks, meanwhile, was in the middle of what looked like a dramatic one-on-one duel with a particularly stubborn Sling Ring. And losing. Badly.
"Come on, you stupid thing," she muttered, waving her fingers in a circular motion. The air in front of her flickered weakly, a spark of golden light appearing for half a second before immediately fizzling out like a dying firework.
Jean hummed thoughtfully, tilting her head. "Maybe try channeling your magic through your off-hand instead? Your dominant hand is more used to wand movements."
Tonks groaned. "I don't know, Jean. At this point, I think the problem is that this ring and I have unresolved personal issues."
Harry smirked as he strolled toward them. "You're not still mad about the whole 'accidentally flinging yourself into a broom closet' thing, are you?"
Tonks shot him a glare. "That was one time."
Ororo arched a perfect eyebrow. "It was three times."
Tonks clutched her chest in mock betrayal. "Et tu, Ororo?"
Jean, who had been quietly observing this exchange while floating like some kind of all-knowing oracle, finally looked at Harry with a knowing smile. "Rough day?"
Harry let out a dramatic sigh. "Howard Stark and Gideon Adler decided to open a Cryogenic Chamber that Fury specifically told them not to open—because apparently, rules are just suggestions when you're a Stark or an Adler. And surprise, surprise, they unleashed a Hydra super-soldier who could have leveled New York but, fortunately, decided not to. Then my dad and godfather nearly got us permanently blacklisted by S.H.I.E.L.D., my mum may or may not have threatened to hex Fury into next week, and I had to pretend like we weren't one step away from an explosion that would have, at minimum, ruined everyone's day."
Ororo's lips twitched. "So… a normal Tuesday?"
Harry nodded. "Exactly."
Tonks groaned, throwing her hands in the air. "I'm sorry, how are you even alive?"
"Pure skill and an ironclad refusal to acknowledge danger," Harry replied.
Jean, still hovering, smirked. "And a tiny bit of luck."
"Luck is just probability bending in my favor," Harry said, shrugging. "Which is basically magic. And you know what they say about magic—"
"'It's not about knowing how,'" Ororo quoted, rolling her eyes, "'it's about knowing how not to die while using it.'"
Harry grinned. "See? Ororo gets it."
Tonks groaned again, glaring at her Sling Ring as if sheer force of will could make it work. "Meanwhile, I've been stuck in Magic Kindergarten for hours, and I still can't make a portal that doesn't immediately collapse."
Harry clapped her on the shoulder. "Hey, don't worry. You'll get there eventually."
Tonks narrowed her eyes. "Say that again when you're not a Super-Soldier-Mutant-Wizard hybrid with enough raw power to punch reality in the face."
Harry considered this for a moment. Then, in his absolute best impression of a wise old mentor, he said, "Have you considered asking nicely? Maybe say 'please' before trying to rip open the fabric of reality?"
Tonks inhaled slowly through her nose. Then turned and dramatically bonked her forehead against Ororo's shoulder. "I hate him."
Ororo patted her head sympathetically. "That's fair."
Jean, floating slightly closer, smirked. "To be fair, most people hate Harry at some point."
"That's true," Harry admitted. "But I grow on you. Like a particularly persistent magical fungus."
Ororo chuckled, stepping beside him and effortlessly lacing her fingers with his. It was a simple, quiet gesture—grounding, reassuring. She had always been a steady presence in his life, a calm to his chaos. "It's good to see you," she said softly. "Even if it sounds like you just came from another near-apocalypse."
Harry squeezed her hand, his smirk softening into something more genuine. "Wouldn't be me if I didn't."
Jean sighed dramatically. "Yeah, you do have a habit of being in the middle of things."
Harry groaned. "Don't I know it."
He glanced at Tonks, who was still scowling at her Sling Ring like it had personally insulted her ancestors.
Then a thought—an absolutely terrible thought—occurred to him.
He turned to her with the most insufferably smug grin he could manage.
"Hey, Tonks. Want me to show you how to open a portal properly?"
The way she immediately lunged at him with an enraged yell was probably deserved.
—
Harry Potter considered himself many things—charming, witty, devastatingly handsome. (Other people might argue with him on the last part, but that was their problem.) But if there was one title he definitely held with absolute certainty, it was Master of the Savage Burn.
And his favorite victim?
Wong.
To be fair, Wong had earned this honor through sheer persistence. He had, time and time again, refused to be impressed, refused to laugh at Harry's brilliance, and—worst of all—refused to let Harry check out The Forbidden Chronicles of the Multiverse's Greatest Tricksters, despite definitive evidence that it would be highly educational.
So, in response, Harry had made it his personal mission to be the most annoying, most chaotic force in Wong's life.
Which led to now.
As Harry strolled into the grand library of Kamar-Taj, a place so ancient it probably had books with titles like How to Survive a Brontosaurus Stampede, he inhaled deeply. Ah, that intoxicating scent of candle wax, parchment, and the lingering aura of Do Not Touch Anything.
Obviously, he was going to touch things.
At the heart of the library sat Wong, surrounded by tomes that probably contained knowledge capable of breaking reality itself. He was hunched over an open book, his fingers tracing the text in deep concentration.
He looked up.
He saw Harry.
He sighed.
Harry beamed.
"No," Wong said immediately, tone so flat it could be used to measure perfectly level shelves.
Harry clutched his chest in mock pain. "Wow. Not even a 'Hello, Harry'? A 'Nice to see you, Harry'? Maybe a 'Oh great, my favorite person in Kamar-Taj, what joyous occasion brings you here?'"
Wong stared at him with the exhaustion of a man who had lived through seventeen different apocalypses and found this particular encounter far worse. "I don't need to say it, because I know why you're here."
"Oh?" Harry grinned. "Do tell."
"You've either come to a) ask for a book you are not allowed to have, b) test the library's magical security system again, or c) subject me to yet another of your insufferable pranks."
Harry gave a dramatic gasp. "Wong, I am shocked—shocked and appalled. Are you suggesting that I, Harry Potter, the humble seeker of knowledge, would do such a thing?"
Wong stared at him like he was contemplating hurling a reality-breaking grimoire at his head.
Harry leaned against a bookshelf, casually knocking a scroll loose. "Oops."
Wong caught it midair with an effortless flick of his wrist and placed it back without breaking eye contact.
Now that was skill.
But Harry was undeterred.
"Look, Wong. I know we have this thing going on—you pretending not to like me, me pranking you into premature gray hairs—but I just thought I'd check in. Make sure you're still grumpy. Maybe get some quality life advice. You know, like 'Harry, don't poke the interdimensional rift' or 'Harry, stop making the training dummies tap out.'"
Wong closed his book with the kind of exasperated slowness that suggested he was considering astral-projecting himself to another dimension just to be away from this conversation.
"You never just check in," he said finally. "What do you really want?"
Harry shrugged. "Maybe I just want to bond. Have a heart-to-heart. Maybe even—" he gasped theatrically, "—hang out."
Wong's eye twitched.
Harry grinned.
There was a long silence.
Then Wong sighed the deep, resigned sigh of a man who knew he was about to regret his next decision but was already too tired to stop it. He reached under his desk and pulled out a small, tightly wrapped package.
"Take this," he said. "And leave."
Harry blinked. "Wait. You just had something prepared?"
Wong's expression was unreadable. "I knew you were coming."
Harry frowned, taking the package. "But how?"
Wong smirked. "Because I have foresight—otherwise known as experience."
Harry tore open the package, half-expecting a booby-trapped curse, only to find a single leather-bound book inside.
He frowned. "Is this… The Multiversal Guide to Defensive Spellcasting?"
Wong nodded. "Yes. Because if you insist on attracting the worst possible interdimensional disasters, you should at least learn how to survive them."
Harry squinted at him. "This feels like a trap."
"It is not," Wong said, dusting off his robes. "It is an intervention."
Harry opened his mouth to retort—only to realize, for once, Wong wasn't wrong.
"…Okay, fair point."
Wong gave him a single, victorious nod. "Now get out of my library."
Harry chuckled, tucking the book under his arm. "Fine, fine. But, y'know, Wong… I have to say, this was actually kind of touching. You giving me a gift, looking out for me. It's almost like you—dare I say it?—care."
Wong's left eye twitched. "Leave. Now."
Harry took a step back, hands raised in mock surrender. "Alright, alright! I'm going. But this definitely counts as a bonding moment."
As he turned to leave, Wong muttered something under his breath in Tibetan.
Harry smirked. "Love you too, buddy."
Wong threw a book at him.
—
Harry's feet echoed through the labyrinthine halls of Kamar-Taj, and for once, he wasn't thinking about mystical disasters or the need to stop the next universe-ending crisis. Nope, today he had a mission: check in on his three favorite (and slightly terrifying) students. Jean, Ororo, and Tonks.
He couldn't help but smile to himself. The deal he'd brokered between SHIELD and Kamar-Taj was still one of his crowning achievements. Sure, it involved a little arm-twisting and a lot of slick talking (and maybe some bribing with snacks, because who doesn't love snacks?), but now Jean, Ororo, and Tonks were getting top-tier training from some of the most powerful sorcerers in the multiverse. The catch? They had to work for SHIELD as full-fledged mystical operatives once they were ready.
Harry was the one who made sure SHIELD understood that messing with his friends was not an option. And he was also the one who promised to be their personal guide through the mystic arts. Because, of course, no one else could do it with quite the flair that Harry could.
He pushed open the door to the Ancient One's meditation chamber and stepped inside. The room smelled like incense and ancient wisdom. Seriously, if they ever bottled the scent of "powerful ancient sorcery," it'd make millions.
The Ancient One, seated on the floor like some serene cosmic yogi, didn't even open her eyes when Harry entered. She knew he was there. She always knew.
"Ah, Harry," she said, her voice as calm and knowing as the depths of the universe itself. "I trust you're not here to challenge me to another game of wizard chess. I have far too many responsibilities as it is."
Harry smirked. "Nah, no chess today. I just wanted to check in on my—uh—students. You know, the ones I personally arranged this whole thing for. No big deal, just your friendly neighborhood mediator here."
The Ancient One's eyes fluttered open, fixing Harry with a knowing stare. "Of course. You are not one for subtlety, Harry. You never have been."
"Hey, subtlety's overrated," Harry shot back, leaning against the doorframe. "Plus, I did negotiate their future with SHIELD, which means I'm also the one who has to keep them from accidentally summoning an interdimensional being that'll eat us all. No pressure, though."
The Ancient One raised an eyebrow. "I am aware of your... unique negotiating style. And while your concern for them is commendable, do not forget—this path you've chosen for them is not one easily walked."
Harry nodded, suddenly serious. "I get it. No shortcuts. Trust me, I've learned that lesson the hard way more times than I care to admit."
The Ancient One smiled—an expression that was as serene as it was mildly terrifying. "And yet, you continue to teach your students with an... unorthodox method. Tell me, Harry, how are they progressing?"
"Well," Harry began, scratching his chin thoughtfully, "Jean's having a bit of an existential crisis. Apparently, the Phoenix Force is all about destiny and balance and the fate of all existence, and I'm like, 'Jean, honey, maybe just chill and focus on your hair first, okay?' But no, she wants to know about the deeper meaning of the universe and how it all connects. It's adorable, really."
"And Ororo?" the Ancient One asked, her tone curious.
"Ah, Ororo. You know, just casually asking if she can control the weather across multiple dimensions at once. Nothing too crazy, right? Like, can she summon a storm in the Multiverse? I told her that's probably a little beyond her paygrade for now, but she's focused. Definitely not as much of a wildcard as Tonks."
The Ancient One's lips twitched, her eyes gleaming with amusement. "And Tonks?"
"Tonks is a whole other animal," Harry said, throwing his hands up in mock defeat. "She's a total wildcard, like if a chaotic spellcaster and a professional prankster had a baby and raised it on a steady diet of fireworks and mischief. She once turned her hair bright pink just to mess with Wong. Wong, Ancient One! She's like a magical social experiment gone wrong, but I think she'll turn out okay."
The Ancient One's smile grew ever so slightly, though her voice remained calm. "You do seem to have a particular fondness for her, despite the chaos she brings."
Harry raised an eyebrow. "You mean you don't? Come on, she's like if a firecracker had a PhD in disaster."
"She is a reflection of your own chaotic nature," the Ancient One said. "But remember, Harry, the mystical arts are not so easily controlled. You will teach them, yes, but they must learn to stand on their own. You are their guide, not their savior."
Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, I know. They'll figure it out. I'm not trying to be the hero in this one. They're smart, they've got potential. I just want to make sure they don't accidentally tear a hole in reality because they got distracted by one more question about the multiverse."
The Ancient One regarded him for a long moment before speaking again. "The multiverse is a delicate balance. It is not something to be taken lightly. But you have already proven yourself more than capable of handling such weighty matters."
Harry grinned. "Well, you know me. Always up for a challenge. Speaking of which, any tips on how to prank Wong? He's getting way too serious for my taste."
The Ancient One's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Pranking, you say? It seems you have learned well from your time here, Harry."
"Hey, it's all about the balance," Harry said with a wink. "Seriously, though, Wong's been on high alert lately. I need to surprise him, but in a way that's, like, 'accidental,' if you catch my drift."
The Ancient One's expression softened into a smile that was both wise and slightly devious. "A little mischief can be a powerful teaching tool. Perhaps a small display of... unexpected consequences? A harmless illusion or two, perhaps?"
Harry's eyes lit up. "Oh, now you're talking! Thanks, Ancient One. I'll definitely take that into consideration."
With a final, lingering look, Harry pushed open the door. "Alright, I'm off to make sure my students don't accidentally summon the entire pantheon of Greek gods into their study session. You know, no big deal."
The Ancient One chuckled softly, her voice echoing in the room like the whisper of a distant storm. "Good luck, Harry. You may need it."
"Yeah, I'm gonna need more than luck," Harry muttered as he stepped into the hallway. "Maybe some caffeine too. Or, you know, a solid plan."
And as the door swung shut behind him, Harry couldn't help but smile to himself. It was a good day. Not a perfect day, but a good day. He had faith in his students—mostly. Now, though, he had the small matter of ensuring Wong would never look at his own reflection the same way again. Time for a prank. And Harry, as always, was ready to deliver.
—
Harry Potter wasn't usually the type to lose his cool—he'd been through enough weirdness to have developed a certain calm in the face of chaos—but today? Today he was this close to grabbing a bucket of popcorn and enjoying the hot mess that was his life. Because let's face it: Kamar-Taj may have been the world's premier school for the mystically gifted, but it was also ground zero for Harry's personal collection of magical misfits.
And by "misfits," he meant Ororo Munroe, Jean Grey, and Tonks, who had somehow managed to turn their training session into an absolute circus.
Tonks was practically wrestling with her Sling Ring like it had personally offended her. She was muttering things under her breath that Harry was pretty sure were more fit for a pirate ship than a mystical temple. Her usual spunk was crackling in the air like static, and her wand was out, waving at the Sling Ring like she could force it to open with sheer stubbornness. It wasn't working, though, which only seemed to make her madder.
Jean, meanwhile, was floating a couple feet off the ground—because that's what Jean Grey did when she was "concentrating." Her books were orbiting her in a wide circle, glowing ominously, the sort of glow that screamed "I'm on the verge of an earth-shattering breakthrough, but I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen." Her eyes were narrowed in concentration, but Harry could tell she was one tiny slip-up away from causing a dimensional rift that would swallow them all.
And then there was Ororo Munroe, who was trying way too hard to look serious, but Harry could tell she was about two seconds away from cracking up. She wasn't even trying to hide her grin as she watched the other two struggle.
Harry took it all in and couldn't help but grin to himself. This was too good to miss.
He cleared his throat. "Alright, listen up, my soon-to-be world-saving magical misfits!" His voice was loud enough to grab their attention, and it did—immediately. "I'm here to shake up your little training session. And by 'shake up,' I mean we're about to do things my way."
Tonks shot him a look that could have melted steel. "If you're about to gloat about your portal skills again, I swear to Merlin, I will end you."
Harry raised his hands in mock surrender, grinning from ear to ear. "Oh, trust me, I wasn't gonna gloat. I'm here to save you. From yourselves." He took a step forward, planting his feet dramatically. "And also, I'm about to teach you all something so deep, so mind-bending, that your brains will need a week-long vacation just to process it. Ready?"
Tonks crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes. "Uh-huh. What's your big plan, Mr. 'I've Got All the Answers'?"
Harry put on his best serious face, which was about as convincing as a flailing octopus, but he didn't care. "You three are officially in my hands now. I've spoken with Wong, I've had a heart-to-heart with the Ancient One, and guess what? You guys are my new students. That's right, forget the ancient Tibetan monks, because you've got the guy who's survived about a dozen apocalypses and mastered the fine art of messing everything up and then somehow making it work."
Jean's eyes narrowed, her glowing books dimming slightly as she floated down to the ground. "Wait—you? You're going to teach us?"
Harry spread his arms wide in mock surprise. "I know, I know, it's a shock. But hear me out. I've got the qualifications. First, I've survived more life-or-death situations than any of you can count. Second, I was literally raised by the Wizarding World's version of 'Hogwarts on steroids,' so trust me when I say that what we're dealing with here is child's play. And third? I know how to make this chaos work." He shot a pointed glance at Tonks, who was still glaring at the Sling Ring. "And you could use a bit of my expertise right now."
Ororo raised an eyebrow, her lips twitching in amusement. "And what exactly makes you the expert here?"
Harry grinned widely. "Because, my dear Ororo, I've got a very particular skill set. Mostly involving chaos and surviving the most insane situations imaginable. You're going to love it."
Tonks scoffed. "Alright, then, let's see you do it. Show us what you've got, magic man."
Harry winked at her. "Oh, you'll love this. Step one: you stop trying so hard. Step two: you stop thinking of magic as some boring, predictable science. Magic is more like... well, falling off a cliff. You just have to let go. And if you think the universe is going to catch you? Spoiler alert: it might, and it might not. But that's half the fun."
Jean raised an eyebrow, looking skeptical as ever. "You're telling us to just... let go of control? In the middle of an unstable portal?"
"Exactly!" Harry said, clapping his hands together. "Trust me, if you overthink it, it'll implode. If you force it, you're going to break it. So, just... relax, let magic be messy, and you'll end up somewhere magical. Hopefully not somewhere with space octopuses. They're real, by the way, and they do not play nice."
Tonks looked unimpressed, crossing her arms and staring down at her Sling Ring like it was an annoying little pest. "Alright, show us, then. If it's so easy, you go first."
Harry held up his hands in a "why not?" gesture. "Fair enough. Watch and learn." He snapped his fingers and immediately summoned a swirling vortex of golden light. It was just big enough to fit them all through, crackling with energy like it was ready to burst. "Here's how it's done," Harry said, grinning.
"Just remember," he called to them as they moved toward the portal, "Let go, trust the process, and if you end up in a dimension made entirely of cheese, I cannot be held responsible. That's a you problem."
Ororo gave him a skeptical look. "Cheese?"
"It's a thing," Harry said nonchalantly. "Believe me."
Jean glanced at Ororo, raising an eyebrow. "I'll take my chances."
Tonks, with a mix of disbelief and cautious curiosity, stepped through first. Jean followed, still floating effortlessly, while Ororo hesitated just a moment longer before stepping through as well.
Harry grinned, watching them disappear. "And that, my friends, is how you get things done. Now, let's see if I've just doomed them or if this whole thing is going to work." He stepped through the portal himself, knowing full well that things were about to get even more interesting.
—
Harry had that look again. The one that made you question your life choices. The one where you just knew something was about to go down—something brilliant or something completely insane, with Harry, it was always a fine line between the two. Today, that line was practically nonexistent.
He stood there, hands on his hips, flashing that cocky grin as his three "students" stared at him like they were waiting for a punchline. And in Harry's world, there was always a punchline.
"You sure you're ready for this?" Harry asked, narrowing his eyes. The grin was dangerous, the kind you only saw on the Joker's face if the Joker was also a master of magic and had zero concern for the laws of sanity.
Tonks shot him a flat look. "You've already dragged us through dimensions. What's next? Time travel?"
Jean floated a little higher, her eyes narrowing with a mix of suspicion and annoyance. "I'm starting to regret asking what comes after the dimension-hopping."
Ororo raised an eyebrow, looking like she was trying to predict the next disaster. "What's your plan, Harry? Break us or build us up?"
"Oh, you'll love this one," Harry said with a grin that was definitely too wide for comfort.
Without another word, Harry flicked his wrist. The ground beneath them vanished in an instant. There wasn't even a whoosh or a pop. One second, they were standing, trying to figure out what Harry had planned, and the next... nothing.
Tonks let out a yelp that echoed in the void. "YOU—YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!"
And just like that, they were falling.
Jean, always the quick thinker, snapped into action. Her telekinetic powers flared, a shimmering shield forming around her. But it was too late. The drop was too sudden, too high, and Harry wasn't planning on giving them time to do anything but freefall into oblivion.
"I really hate you right now," Jean muttered, her voice cutting through the chaos, though her usual cool composure was faltering. Her eyes flared with unspoken annoyance.
Ororo, however, was loving it. The woman was practically cackling as they plummeted. Her hair whipped around her face, her eyes alight with the thrill of the moment. "Oh this is wonderful," she shouted, grinning like she was about to start some kind of extreme sport. "Are we sure we're not on a roller coaster, Potter?"
Harry, floating above them like he was too cool for gravity, looked down with a wink. "I told you, the universe always catches you when you fall. Sometimes, it's just not as gentle as you'd like."
The snowy peaks of Mount Everest came into view. Harry glanced down, his grin widening to full-on maniac levels.
"Well, look at that," he said, pretending to be amazed. "You're getting a free trip to the top of Everest! You're welcome, by the way. I thought you'd enjoy the view."
Tonks, whose face had gone from terror to complete, unfiltered rage, screeched, "YOU—ARE—A—MANIAC!"
Jean's voice, normally the voice of reason, now had a more desperate edge. "I swear, Harry—when I get my hands on you—"
Ororo, of course, was the one who was actually enjoying this. She laughed loudly, raising her arms like she was about to summon a storm. "This is the best thing that's happened to me all week!"
Harry just gave her a thumbs-up. "Yeah, but we're not done yet! You'll want to really appreciate this in a few minutes!"
And then, just as the snow-capped mountains loomed dangerously close... Harry made a quick gesture with his hand. The ground beneath them shattered—literally exploded like the world was made of fireworks—and with a flash of shimmering light, a massive portal appeared.
"Wha—" Tonks shouted, but before she could finish her sentence, the portal expanded like the door to a very cold, very unforgiving version of Narnia.
"Alright, ladies!" Harry called, floating down to the ground and landing in a dramatic crouch like a superhero who'd just finished an overly dramatic speech. "You've got exactly five minutes before frostbite kicks in, so I suggest you make it count. It's cold up here."
Tonks shot him a glare that could melt ice—if only she weren't currently freezing her butt off. "You—YOU'RE A MONSTER!"
"You got it!" Harry grinned, brushing snow off his shoulders as he stood. "Seriously, don't die of hypothermia or whatever. I can't be bothered to resurrect you after this."
Jean shot him a death glare, her telekinetic aura still flaring around her as she floated a little higher off the ground. "I'm going to murder you when we get back."
"Sure, sure. That's what they all say." Harry waved it off as he moved toward the portal. "But hey, you'll have time to practice your murder techniques while you figure out how to get back. Remember, the only way off this mountain is that portal, and guess what? You get to figure out how to open it. Have fun with that."
Before they could protest—though Harry was pretty sure protests were incoming once they realized they had no idea how to get back—he winked at them, stepped through the portal, and disappeared.
The moment Harry reappeared in Kamar-Taj, he sighed with satisfaction, letting the familiar energy of the temple wash over him. "Ahh, peace and quiet," Harry muttered, tugging his hood down and brushing off the last of the snow that had decided to follow him through the portal. "This is the life."
He could already hear Tonks' voice from the other side of the portal. "POTTER. YOU'RE DEAD. YOU HEAR ME? DEAD!"
Harry chuckled, tapping his fingers together in mock delight. "Best. Decision. Ever."
—
The portal flickered like a dying lightbulb before exploding into a flash of brilliance, and then—poof—the girls arrived. Well, tumbled would be the more accurate word, because none of them landed gracefully.
Tonks, the first to emerge, hit the floor with a spectacular thud. She shot up immediately, brushing snow out of her pink hair, but there was something off about the whole scene. Specifically, it looked like she'd gotten dressed in a snowdrift. Her clothes were covered in the stuff, and she glared at Harry like she was preparing a verbal death sentence.
"YOU—ARE—SO—DEAD, POTTER!" she screeched, her teeth chattering. Was it from the cold, or pure rage? It was hard to tell. "I am this close to hexing your eyeballs into the next century. Just you wait."
Harry, who had been leaning lazily against the wall, made zero attempt to hide the evil grin stretching across his face. "Ooo, I'm so scared. I can practically feel the frostbite setting in. Maybe I'll just freeze myself before you do it."
Tonks wasn't amused. She wasn't amused at all. Her hands balled into fists. "You. Are. A. Pain."
"Thanks! I try," Harry called back, casual as ever, like the bitter cold and death threats were just part of his morning routine.
Next through the portal was Jean. The usually polished, composed redhead had been completely blindsided by the blizzard-like conditions, and now she looked like she'd been dragged through the snow by a couple of overenthusiastic Yeti. Her hair was matted with ice, and there was a flicker of barely-contained annoyance in her eyes, along with that faint telekinetic glow she always got when she was one misstep away from losing it.
Her voice came out like a low, controlled growl. "That," she said, wiping a chunk of snow out of her face with a grimace, "was not funny."
"Of course it was," Harry answered breezily, raising an eyebrow like he'd just pulled off the greatest prank of all time. "You're still alive, aren't you? That's a win in my book."
Jean gave him a look that could melt solid ice. "I swear, I'm gonna levitate you straight into the next dimension if you pull anything like that again."
Harry shrugged, looking so innocent he practically glowed. "What, and miss out on all the fun?"
Finally, Ororo made her grand entrance. She floated through the portal with a certain elegance that made it seem like the snowflakes didn't dare touch her. Her white hair, always flowing like it belonged on a shampoo commercial, was a bit frosted at the edges, but otherwise, she looked almost untouched by the chaotic weather.
"Really, Harry?" Ororo said, her voice almost too smooth for the situation. "You made us take a detour through an ice storm. Was that really necessary?"
Harry only shrugged with a devilish smile. "You've gotta admit, it was fun."
Jean shot him a look. "You're not funny, Harry."
"Sure I am," he said, throwing an arm around her shoulders and grinning ear to ear. "At least you got to experience the great outdoors, right? Who needs warm training rooms when you can have a little taste of nature?"
Ororo raised a finger like she was calling a timeout. "Can we get inside? Before I freeze solid? Please?"
"Ah, yes, right, inside," Harry said, lifting both hands in mock surrender. "But first, let me just remind you that I did say, 'five minutes,'" he added, a taunting lilt to his voice. "You made it. With two seconds to spare. Impressive."
Tonks narrowed her eyes. "You are the most insufferable—"
"Oh, no need to thank me, Tonks," Harry cut in, walking past them with his hands in his pockets. "It's all part of the service. You're welcome for the snow-filled experience. Next time, I can make it a bit more intense. How about the Sahara?"
"I will never forgive you for this," Tonks muttered, stomping after him as she wrung the snow out of her sleeves. "If I end up with frostbite, I'm sending you the medical bill."
"Oh, don't worry about me," Harry teased. "You look fine. Snow suits you, really. Makes your eyes pop. I'd say you were glowing, but… well, that's probably just the frozen condensation."
Jean rolled her eyes. "I swear—"
"I know, I know," Harry said, holding up his hands like he was the world's greatest pacifier. "Next time, I'll tone it down. Promise. Just, you know, don't get too mad. You're making your 'I'll murder you' face."
Ororo let out a low chuckle. "Maybe you could show us the real magic now. We're here for training, not torture."
"Ahh, but where's the fun in that?" Harry winked at her, completely unbothered by the cold stare he was getting from Tonks. "You're gonna love the next round. Trust me."
Jean sighed dramatically. "I'm never traveling by portal with you again. Next time, I'm sticking with normal methods—normal, like a regular, boring airplane."
"That sounds boring," Harry said as they all stepped into the warmth of Kamar-Taj, letting the heat sink into their frozen limbs. He paused, looked over his shoulder, and flashed them a grin. "But hey, if you're gonna complain about it, at least you're not freezing your face off anymore. Right?"
Tonks muttered something about hexing him before she yanked off her icy boots and gave Harry a final glare. But even she couldn't keep the smile from creeping up. "Fine. But you're buying the drinks next time."
Ororo gave him one last amused look, the twinkle still there despite everything. "You really are something else, Potter. Lucky for you, we all like you. But you can only get away with this once."
"Oh, I know," Harry said with a wink. "Next time, I'm going to make it way worse."
As the trio followed him deeper into Kamar-Taj, they all shared a silent understanding. Harry Potter might be a handful. But when it came to fun, there was no one better.
And that's when they realized: they were in for one hell of a ride.
---
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