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Chapter 8 - Chapter 8: Delusions is never good

Cassandra's POV

I stood outside Nathaniel's office, holding a bouquet of carefully chosen flowers. They were a peace offering, a gesture of apology amidst the tensions and misunderstandings that had plagued us recently. 

I am not sure whether he would like it or eventually despise me more. However… When I thought of him during that drive, what would I lose?

I hid the bouquet behind me, hoping it would surprise him. This way, if he ever got angry just by my presence, I could easily leave and not fuel the fire anymore. 

With a deep breath, I knocked on the door. In my mind, there were so many thoughts fighting with each other. 

It was like I was entering a lion's den and would very much prefer to carry protective armor with me. 

Uhh… why is apologizing so hard? 

"Come in," Nathaniel's voice called from within.

Pushing the door open slowly, I stepped into the spacious, impeccably decorated office. Nathaniel was seated at his desk, engrossed in a stack of papers. He looked up as I entered, his expression guarded yet curious.

The way his brows arched while I walked makes me feel like I want to just… you know, turn my back and cry on my desk.

"These are for you," I said softly, extending the bouquet toward him. My sweats were falling off my chin, afraid of how he would react.

Nathaniel's brow furrowed slightly in confusion, but he took the flowers from me. "Thank you." He plainly said. As he did, his face suddenly contorted in discomfort, and he let out a choked gasp. 

"A-are you okay?" I slowly walked towards him. He placed his palms open in front of me as if he was signaling me to stop moving.

I am confused… he looked like he was struggling to breathe and he kept on holding his chest.

The bouquet slipped from his grasp, petals scattering to the floor, as he clutched at his throat, his eyes wide with panic.

Does he not like it? Oh wait… it looked like an allergic reaction?!

"Nathaniel!" I exclaimed, rushing to his side. "What's happening?"

He struggled to breathe, his face turning pale. Panic surged through me as I watched him collapse to the floor, gasping for air. 

I kneeled on the floor and loosened up his tie. I figured he needed some air and his tight clothes were not helping. 

Without hesitation, I rifled through my bag, my fingers trembling as I searched for something that could help. 

"Where the fuck is it?!" I could not think straight. Knowing Nathaniel is coughing uncontrollably behind me while I am still trying to find something that I could use to ease his pain.

My hand closed around the familiar shape of my EpiPen—the same one I carried for my severe allergies. 

"This might help," I said, injecting it into his thigh with shaking hands. "Damn it, I did not know you had allergies… Mr. Sinclair…" 

I was trembling while I held him still. I don't know how else I will save him or if I should call the guards to help me bring him to the nearest hospital. 

Nathaniel convulsed slightly, his body reacting to the sudden injection. I held my breath, praying fervently that it would work. 

I clasped my hands tightly, "I will do anything you want me, Lord!" I have never prayed this hard before. "Just let Nathaniel be safe and I will be your most loyal servant!" My eyes shut down as if I would never want to open them ever again.

Slowly, his breathing steadied, though he remained slumped against the floor, visibly shaken and weak. 

His veins showed on his neck while his fists were clenched hard. "Cassandra..." he managed hoarsely, his voice barely audible.

It felt like a light had flashed before my eyes, he was conscious. I knelt beside him, my heart aching with concern. "Nathaniel–Mr. Sinclair, are you okay?"

He nodded weakly, still catching his breath. "I... I'm sorry for the trouble."

"Trouble?!" I wanted to punch him right now. "You looked like you were dying, the heck are you apologizing for?!" I could not even lower the tone of my voice.

Why is he apologizing when he was the one who almost met death with my carelessness?!

"It must have been the flowers," I said, guilt flooding me. I took all the petals away and threw them in the trash bin. I took the isopropyl and started cleaning the floor. 

"I didn't mean... I'm so sorry." I said as I kept on scrubbing everything clean. 

I took my coat off and did not mind whether I was wearing sleeves. "The flowers have touched me, don't mind my clothes right now." 

Nathaniel looked at me, the kind of stare that I had never seen before. It is making me awkward…

Back then, when I first met him, he didn't look like… he was afraid to die. But when he faced it, I could see how much will was left in his mind. 

He reached out for me, his hand trembling slightly, and I took it without hesitation. He pulled himself up with effort, leaning heavily against the couch. 

"Just stay here, alright? Let me take care of you."I whispered, offering him aid. Maybe today, I can't be his secretary.

I fetched a glass of water from his desk and handed it to him, wiping the sweat from his brow with my handkerchief.

He is still shaking…

"I thought..." he began, his voice wavering slightly. "I thought I was going to..."

My heart clenched at the unspoken fear in his voice. I squeezed his hand gently, offering what comfort I could. Nathaniel's struggle with whatever had caused his reaction was evident, and it shook me to see him in such distress.

"I'm here," I said softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "You're okay now."

"You shouldn't have held that flower if you knew you were allergic to it." I sighed as I kept on aiding him. 

"I… it was the first time I received one." He struggled to say the word.

Ohhh… I felt more furious knowing he did that because it was his first time receiving one. I cannot believe this man!

"Can I get you anything else?" I asked, wanting to do something, anything, to ease his discomfort.

Nathaniel shook his head, exhaustion evident in every line of his face. "Just... stay with me, please."

I could feel my face heating up as I heard him beg me to stay with him. Why does he have to do that? 

I nodded, staying by his side as he regained his composure. Minutes passed in silence, no one dared to speak and I had no other solution than to sit beside him. 

When he finally seemed steadier, I helped him sit on the couch, propping pillows behind his back.

"You scared me," I admitted quietly, unable to hold back the emotion in my voice.

Nathaniel looked at me, his eyes softening. "I didn't mean to."

"I know," I replied softly. "But I can't lose you, Nathaniel."

His expression softened, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his features. Without a word, he pulled me into his arms. 

"I-I can't lose you because I would also lose my job!" I stuttered as I tried to defend myself. I felt like… he might think the other way. 

Why am I so awkward? Like, I don't need to be defensive, but why am I explaining?

I am losing my mind!

I stiffened in surprise at how he held me tighter, but the warmth and sincerity of his embrace were undeniable. Nathaniel hung onto me tightly as if seeking reassurance that I was there.

"I thought..." he murmured against my hair, his voice raw with emotion. "I thought I was going to die."

This time, he had finally gotten the word. I can sense how much he hated the thought…

Nathaniel, the enigmatic and powerful man I had worked for, had moments of fear and vulnerability like anyone else. It turns out, he's not the most frightening man on this earth at all… just like me, he can be scared at some point. 

And in that moment, I realized how much he had been carrying alone. How lonely he must have felt being on top of the world. 

"You're safe now," I whispered, holding him tightly. "I would never do anything that would harm you again."

We stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, neither of us wanting to let go. Eventually, Nathaniel eased back slightly, but he kept one arm around my shoulders, as if afraid to break the fragile connection between us.

"Thank you, Cassandra," he said softly, his gaze intense. "For everything."

I nodded, overwhelmed by the intimacy of the moment. It felt as if we had crossed a barrier, one that had kept us apart despite our proximity. 

"You do not have to thank me, it is part of my job," I whispered, trying to put myself back on the ground I used to stand on.

I am afraid… that flying too high means falling in the worst case possible. 

Now, as Nathaniel looked at me with such raw emotion, I knew that something fundamental had shifted between us.

I realized that maybe, just maybe, there was more to our complicated relationship than I had ever imagined.

But then again… a billionaire cannot possibly fall in love with a poor woman like me. 

Delusions won't bring me anything. 

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