Something feels off.
Gus knew his words might be hard to understand, but they were true—
Everything seemed right; yet, it just didn't feel right.
As he spoke, Gus's brain began to turn. Compared to working behind closed doors, the clash of creative sparks really did stir his thoughts.
"I, uh, I don't really know."
"How do I put this... I'm looking for something that comes out naturally."
"I'm not sure, maybe—what I mean is, maybe your acting is just too much?"
"I want to see you. I want to see the unadorned Anson Wood, the real Anson, with your true voice."
What on earth is he talking about?
Anson couldn't help but laugh out loud. "This is my voice."
Gus also chuckled awkwardly, "It's a metaphor, just a metaphor. What I mean is, your acting seems perfect, but it's still acting, understand?"
"The other kids are just being themselves, their true selves, with a touch of acting. But the core is still who they are. You, on the other hand, are acting as yourself—a role constructed in your mind, a fictional, fabricated, unreal character that has strayed from reality. At the core, it's still a mask."
"I need you to take off that mask."
Anson was taken aback—
What nonsense is this?
"Director, I'm an actor. If I don't act, what am I supposed to do?"
Gus hesitated, "Uh..."
Anson continued, "Director, you say I'm not being real, but you don't even know the real me. How can you be so sure that what the camera captures isn't my real self?"
Gus replied, "You haven't convinced me."
Anson: ...
This time, Anson finally got it.
Acting needs to be convincing. No matter who the actor is or what role they play, regardless of whether they physically fit the part or not, the ultimate task for any actor is to convince the audience that they are the character.
Why is acting in commercial films generally easier?
Because all the explosions, cuts, and fast-paced scenes serve as distractions that keep the audience's attention, leaving them no time to expose the actor.
But that doesn't work for drama films. Stripped of those flashy distractions, the character is laid bare, and the audience's full attention is on the actor.
At its core, movies and magic tricks work the same way—everything is a sleight of hand. When the trick fails, the magic loses its power.
And here, it's the same.
The other students are just students. Even if they bring a bit of acting into their roles, thanks to Gus crafting scenes that suit their characters, they can stay in their own space. Even without distractions, what they show is still their genuine selves as students.
But Anson isn't.
Inside his nineteen-year-old shell lives a soul that has seen the world. Without the flashy tricks of "The Princess Diaries" or "Spider-Man" to hide behind, laid bare in front of the camera, Anson could only use acting to conceal himself, but it was all in vain.
Maybe Gus couldn't explain it, but his intuition felt it.
So, what is real?
How should Anson show his true self in front of the camera?
People always think that acting is the hardest thing, and being real is the easiest. But the truth is quite the opposite. In real life, we are all actors—
At work, you might be on the verge of collapsing from stress but still pretend everything is fine in front of your family. You might be scarred and bleeding but still maintain your dignity in front of clients. You could be suffering from pain that makes you wish for death but still show a smile to your loved ones.
Over time, our truest selves get quietly hidden away, even from ourselves. That fragile, lonely, and weary self still sits silently in the dark, waiting for the wounds to heal.
Maybe only children are the exception, transparent like crystals. They don't hide, nor can they. They show their true selves without reservation, making them easily hurt with the slightest touch.
Reality.
It's very, very far away from Anson now.
Unconsciously, Anson thought of Leonardo DiCaprio.
Not because the media often compares them as being on the same level, but because of a dilemma Leonardo faced in his career—
He couldn't just be himself.
That way of putting it is a bit too artistic. More specifically, he needed a crutch, a mask, to perform.
Once praised as a talented young actor, Leonardo had already been nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor as early as 1993 for *What's Eating Gilbert Grape*. But later, he seemed to lose his ability to capture a character's essence.
The reason? He got used to relying on the character traits—
The domestic violence in *This Boy's Life*, the intellectual disability in *What's Eating Gilbert Grape*, the rebellion in *The Basketball Diaries*, the mental deficiency in *Marvin's Room*, the split personality in *The Aviator*, and so on.
Leonardo needed a premise, a setting that provided room to explore, a point of dramatic tension for the character's emotions to explode.
Without that crutch, Leonardo would feel lost.
Later, Leonardo realized this himself and tried to change his acting methods, only to fall into another trap, becoming stuck with his "furrowed brows, pursed lips, deep resentment" style, unable to go back.
Though Anson doesn't have much acting experience now, is he perhaps facing a similar dilemma?
Or, looking at it another way, could it be that because Anson has so little acting experience, encountering such a dilemma early on might actually give him a chance to solve it?
Anson looked up at Gus. "What if I need an absurd premise to act?"
Gus paused, "What do you mean?"
Anson shrugged slightly, "What I mean is, all along, people have told me, 'Hey, you're a good actor, you're a charming performer.' But what if all that charm comes from the characters? I have to become a pre-set heartthrob, a low-key but talented nerd, a high school student hiding his superhero identity?"
"These dramatic roles become a protective layer, helping me deliver my performance."
"But once that layer is gone, I feel lost, standing in front of the camera like a fool."
"Like just now. I was acting, but clearly, my performance wasn't convincing. Maybe I'm just a fraud, a pretentious liar?"
This time, it was Anson who couldn't stop talking.
Gus fell into deep thought. He quietly looked at Anson and realized his way of communicating might have been misguided, misleading Anson.
But in a way, Anson was also right—Gus didn't like how "over the top" Anson's acting was.
It wasn't that Anson was overacting, but in this movie, such a style stood out too much.
So, what should they do?
Gus thought it over carefully. "Hey, Anson, let's remember—you're playing a rare survivor of a school shooting."
"If that isn't dramatic enough, honestly, I'm not sure what Hollywood film out there could be considered dramatic."
"Let's not forget, our project was rejected because it was deemed too sensitive and potentially controversial."
With a touch of self-mockery, Gus managed to make Anson's lips curl up into a slight smile. In the end, Anson didn't argue back.