People always think that being real means being vulnerable, and looking back means retreating.
All along, he believed the same. So, he refused to look back, focusing on the present, looking toward the future, and moving forward steadily, step by step.
But the key point is that whether you look back or not, the shadows of the past always lie deep within the soul, exerting a profound influence in unseen ways.
Looking back at the past is not an act of cowardice; on the contrary, it is an act of courage. Only by truly facing those vulnerabilities and scars can one truly let go and gain the strength to move forward at full speed.
Little Frank Abagnale in "Catch Me If You Can" is just like this.
He kept running, avoiding, disguising, refusing to acknowledge his parents' divorce, refusing to admit his father's incompetence, and avoiding facing the adult world. He layered disguise upon disguise, hiding himself.
However, he was eventually caught, not just by the FBI agent, but also by his own past. His respect and resentment for his father, his longing and attachment to family, eventually caught up with him.
Until that day, he stopped running and was forced to face his past. Only then did his transformation and growth truly begin.
Now, it's Anson's turn.
He isn't sure if he's ready, but he believes it's time.
Whoo.
He exhaled a long breath, lifted his chin slightly, and faced the sun.
Portland's sun isn't glaring or bright. The light that falls isn't harsh but warm and gentle on the face, almost imperceptible. Time seems to pause briefly, the noisy thoughts disappear, and the world begins to clear up.
The cicadas chirping, the birds singing, the engines roaring as they rush past the road, the sounds of laughter and chasing in the classroom, the days flowing by like a stream.
He knows he's ready.
So.
He stands up, turns around, and heads back to the school building entrance. He can see the somewhat silent crew at a glance. The students are standing there, not knowing what to do, the crew members hurriedly pulling back their sneaky glances, and Gus, pacing back and forth with his hands behind his back, unable to hide his worry.
"Director, let's try again."
Anson's voice breaks the awkwardness.
Gus looks up at Anson abruptly. He's unsure, and as he scrutinizes Anson, he can't figure out what's different, but there's definitely a different feeling.
Gus says, "Okay."
The crew starts moving again, but Alex, Eric, and the other students can't hide the hesitation on their faces. They clearly have no idea about filming a movie and are completely unprepared for what's happening, their eyes revealing their confusion.
Still half-skeptical, they stand outside the camera's view, exchanging glances, silently communicating, but finding no answers, waiting patiently.
Gus watches Anson without saying a word, wanting to speak but stopping himself.
He's still a bit worried.
Gus tries to remind Anson that this is a one-take shot, and once they start filming again, they have to start from when the car stops. But before he can say anything, Gus sees Anson walking straight toward the vehicle.
Somewhat reassured.
Anson is nodding to another actor—
Timothy Bottoms.
A seasoned actor active in the 1970s, Timothy played the lead in several works. Unfortunately, his career had a brief moment of bloom before quickly returning to calm. Later, he was active on TV, mostly appearing as a guest in minor roles, or as the killer in detective series. He had some lines but never stayed long.
In "Elephant," he, like Anson, is one of the few actors, playing Anson's father. He doesn't have a name, just "Anson's father."
As for the interrupted shoot just now, Timothy, who has been around Hollywood for over thirty years, is used to it. He warmly welcomes Anson back with a hug and, without asking too many questions, goes straight into character.
"Ready?" Timothy asks with his eyes.
Anson exhales deeply. "We'll see."
But Timothy can see—
Anson is getting into character.
Usually, when Anson starts a conversation, he always looks the other person in the eye, speaking with honesty and sincerity. But now, he isn't, which means Anson is quietly blending into the setting of "Elephant."
Not sharp, but subtly prickly, like a young hedgehog.
Timothy says nothing more, nodding slightly.
Everything is set.
The fifteenth take of this scene, "Action!"
Slowly, the vehicle pulls up in front of the school.
But the scene inside the car is different from what you'd expect. The father should be in the driver's seat and the child in the passenger seat, but their positions have swapped.
The child in the driver's seat looks slightly frail, with long hair dyed a garish gold, wearing a bright yellow T-shirt. The matching color of his hair and T-shirt makes him look even more odd. The T-shirt doesn't fit, and although it's the simplest outfit, it manages to look wrong in every way.
However, it's clear the child doesn't care.
Anson opens the car door to get out. The first thing he does is pull out the car key, looking helplessly at the man in the passenger seat.
"Okay, Dad, you stay here. Lucas will come to pick you up in a while."
After saying that, Anson pushes open the car door and gets out without looking his father in the eye, lowering his head, rubbing his hair forcefully. His slightly curly hair falls messily, his shoulders droop as he opens the trunk, retrieves his coat and backpack, and then notices his father getting out of the car too.
He stops, quickly glances over, and immediately lowers his gaze again.
He sighs softly, "Dad, just stay in the car. Don't wander around. Please."
Though he's not angry, his tone reveals a hint of helplessness and irritation.
Finally, he simply walks up, pushes his father's arm, signaling him to get back into the car.
Seeing his father preparing to return to the passenger seat, he doesn't pay further attention, turns around, takes heavy steps forward, irritatedly walks quickly, pushes open the door, and goes straight into the school building.
—It's happening.
The entire crew holds their breath. The first half of the scene went off without a hitch. Although the amateurs couldn't tell any difference, the filming atmosphere was noticeably smoother, and everyone's eyes were glued to Anson.
And Gus didn't stop the shoot.
But the real challenge lies in the next scene, the part that Gus kept having to retake. This is the moment that tests Anson.
No one knows what's wrong with this scene, but Gus and Anson are stuck here, trapped in a loop that's preventing any progress.
So, what about this time?
Not only Gus, but the whole crew holds their breath slightly, waiting silently.
Creak.
Anson pushes the door open and enters the school. There's no special expression or movement as he walks to the payphone on the right side of the entrance, takes out two coins, inserts them, and dials a number.
The phone rings only twice before it is picked up.
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