Chapter : 19 How It Feels To Lose
Lilith sat at the head of the table, deep in thought. Her face looked worried before she finally spoke.
"Madoxx… Melody… I'm sorry it had to be you two. I'm sorry it's you who have to finish this.
I wasn't strong enough… or brave enough… to end this nightmare we started over a hundred years ago."
The Basement Hideout
We were back in the basement—me, Mel, Kimora, and Neptune.
My head was full of noise and questions, but now wasn't the time.
The Codex had shown me what I needed to do to save everyone, and I was going to do it.
No one else was going to die. Not while I still had breath in my body. No one—except Magnus.
We were only sent here for reconnaissance. I knew that.
But this couldn't wait. This had to end now.
Before any of us could speak, a loud rumbling shook the room.
The sound of stomping, of voices, vibrating through the floorboards above us.
We looked at each other, confused.
We climbed the stairs and peeked through the cracked window of the rundown mansion.
"My brothers and sisters!" a man shouted from a podium.
He wore ragged clothes, a massive wooden cross slung over his back.
An elderly man—white hair, hunched shoulders—but he spoke with the strength of fire.
"The time has come!"
"We have been labeled as monsters. Soulless. Baby-killers. Scum.
Deserters. Faithless."
He paused. His voice broke just a little.
"And maybe… maybe some of it's true.
But we did what we had to do.
To survive."
A crowd of royal citizens stood in silence, watching him.
"The people of Malina look down on us.
They call us monsters.
While they die of hunger and pride… we survive!
We paid the price.
And look at us now! Alive. Strong. Unbroken."
"So I ask you—Is it wrong to want to live?!"
"NOOOO!" the crowd roared back.
"Is it our fault that life dealt us a bad hand?!"
"NOOO!" they screamed, louder than before.
"We gather here because today…
Today, our sacrifices are being rewarded.
The King saw worth in us.
Today, he calls us home.
So tell me… are you worthy?!"
"YES! WE ARE! YES WE ARE!" the crowd chanted.
"I've seen it. The fire in his eyes.
And he will set us free—at last!"
"For one hundred years we were trapped in a prison made by others—
one we never chose.
But he sees our worth."
"He has seen our worth!" he shouted.
"We are of worth!" the crowd shouted back, marching through the streets.
Over and over, house after house, more joined them.
A sea of chanting, stomping, faith-drunk bodies.
We stepped back into the basement.
"What is going on?" Melody asked.
"I don't know," I said quietly, "but I do know what our next move is."
"You want to what?!" Melody yelled.
"It's the only way, Mel."
"You want to turn yourself over to Magnus?!
Why the hell would you do something so stupid, Madoxx?!"
"He won't kill me," I said. "I know he won't."
"What did you see in that book? Is it messing with your head?!
Listen—we came here to observe, not get ourselves killed!"
"I know.
And I'm not planning on dying.
But this… this is the only way to keep you all safe."
"Keep us safe from what?"
"…I'm sorry, Mel."
"Bind."
Shadows burst from my palms, wrapping around Mel, Kimora, and Neptune.
"MADDOX! Don't you dare!" Melody shouted.
"I'm coming with you! I promised Eliza I'd bring you back!
Get these shadows off me!"
"I'm sorry," I said again, already climbing the stairs.
"I'll be back soon.
I need to do this alone."
Outside, I raised an enormous ice spike—taller than any house around.
Then I sat beneath it.
"We wait."
Minutes passed.
Then an hour.
And then I saw them.
Knights.
Marching straight toward me.
Not one hundred. Not two. More.
Five hundred. Steel boots stomping in rhythm.
And leading them…
The King.
"So, Madoxx," the King said, smiling. "Tired of hiding?"
"Take me to Magnus," I replied coldly.
"Your bravery… it carries so much worth."
"Stop it, you dumbass!" Melody's voice broke through.
She dragged herself through the door, dirty and worn, eyes wide.
Still bound in shadow chains.
"I said I had your back…" she muttered, breathing hard.
The King's smile widened.
"How valuable…" he said.
"Take them both."
They loaded us into a carriage.
The King gave the order— "To Bountyreach," he said, as the army marched ahead.
"Mel," I said quietly.
"No. Shut it, Madoxx. Never do that again."
"But I had to. Mel, I just wanted to—"
"I thought we were friends, Madoxx."
"We are," I said quickly.
"Then why don't you trust my strength?" she snapped.
"Why assume I need protecting?
If we're really friends the way I think we are…
then why didn't you believe in me enough to let me watch your back?"
I looked down, my voice soft.
"I just don't want to see any more of my friends die...
Not again."
"And you think we want to see you die? Is that it?"
Her eyes burned through me.
"So it's okay for you to die and leave us behind?
Leave us with the pain?
With the regret of not being there to help?
How selfish, Madoxx."
"I… didn't think about it that way.
I'm so dumb…"
My voice cracked.
"Back in the town square, I felt so alone.
And yet… now, when it really matters—when it's truly important— I forgot.
I forgot I had people behind me.
People who would support me, watch my back.
Why did I think I needed to do everything alone again?"
I paused.
"When I saw Livana die…
When that flashback hit me, I felt it all over again.
What it's like to lose someone."
I swallowed hard.
"And I got scared.
Because I remembered how much I still have to lose.
I just… I couldn't go through that again."
Mel stood, wobbling as the carriage rocked along the road.
Then—without warning—she reared back and slammed her forehead into mine.
BANG.
We both recoiled, groaning in pain, rolling across the floor of the carriage.
"Stop thinking so much," she said, clutching her forehead.
"You're way too stupid for that."
"Mel, I—"
"I said I had your back so you could fight full force," she said, still in pain.
"So you could face what's in front of you—without fear, without hesitation.
I chose that.
So you'd never have to worry about what's behind you.
I believe in us, Madoxx.
If we're both fighting… watching each other's backs…
then there's no way we lose.
So… why don't you?"
I paused.
Let it sit.
Let it sink in.
Then I smiled.
"You're right," I said. "I'm sorry."
"You better be," she said, stumbling into a hug.
"Never do anything alone. Not when I'm around, you dumbass."
"Yeah," I said, hugging her back. "I promise. For real this time."
We laughed.
The carriage rattled along, winding through the streets.
Outside, another crowd had gathered.
The man from earlier—the one who led the chants— he had grown his following.
A lot of the royals.
Maybe all of them.
Now they followed behind the knights and the King, still chanting, still marching, still believing.
"To Bountyreach!" the King shouted.
A ugly smile crept across his face.