Sayuri wiped her mouth gently and looked at Hikigaya with a teasing smile.
"Hikigaya-kun, you really tasted amazing today—such a rich, masculine flavor. No wonder Auntie thinks so highly of you."
At that moment, she was still seated on Hikigaya's lap, as if she had claimed it as her personal cushion.
Her sultry gaze made his heart race. Hikigaya turned his head away to avoid eye contact.
"Auntie, seriously… this is filthy. Please don't do this next time."
"Hehe, if you don't mind Auntie being filthy, why would Auntie mind?"
"You took a bath before coming out, I didn't…"
"That's true. But~ hehe, Auntie prefers the raw, unfiltered Hikigaya-kun. What about you? Do you like Auntie more unfiltered, or freshly showered?" Sayuri giggled as she continued to tease him.
Blushing, Hikigaya averted his gaze.
Auntie Sawamura was hands-down the most skilled woman he had ever met. Even Kasumigaoka-senpai paled in comparison!
Absolutely shameless.
She never failed to prod a man's weak spot.
A woman like this—how many men could actually handle her as a wife?
Hikigaya certainly was on the verge of collapse.
Sigh.
Even after all this effort, he still hadn't found a single chink in her armor.
And judging by the current situation, he probably wouldn't get a chance to find one anytime soon either.
"Hikigaya-kun, isn't it about time? From now on… hehe, let Auntie take over your body. Auntie will take you to a heaven you've never known~" Her snake-like arms wrapped around his neck, and the sweet, intoxicating scent of ripe fruit washed over him. Sayuri was like a cloud of soft white cotton, threatening to engulf him whole.
"W-Wait!"
Seeing this, Hikigaya quickly stopped her.
"P-Phone!"
"Eh?" Sayuri pouted, clearly disappointed. "Go ahead and answer it."
"Right."
Hikigaya hurriedly took out his phone. Seeing that the call was from Miura, he felt a sudden rush of relief—and oddly, even warmth. When things get dangerous, you can always count on Miura.
"Auntie, don't say a word."
"Okay~"
Hikigaya answered the call. But instead of the soft, concerned voice he expected, he was greeted by a barrage of curses.
"Hikigaya! Where the hell are you?! Slacking off again, huh? If you keep pulling this 'work two days, vanish for three' routine, I swear I'll make you regret it!"
Ah… so warm.
"No, I was just, uh, exercising with Auntie Sawamura."
He glanced at Sayuri instinctively—and his face turned pale. Sayuri had leaned in again and started kissing his neck.
"How's the training going?" Miura's tone softened a little.
"S-Still okay."
Hikigaya shook his head repeatedly at Sayuri. She simply smirked, her grin full of wicked glee.
"Auntie Sawamura probably doesn't get much exercise usually, so be gentle. Don't push her too hard, got it?"
"Y-Yeah…"
"Be mindful of her body. Match her pace. Understand?"
"U-Understood."
"Also…"
Like a nagging old lady, Miura kept rattling off instructions, worried Hikigaya would wear Sayuri out.
"Make sure you massage her legs afterward. We don't want her sore the next day. Got that?"
"Mmm…"
"Hikigaya, what's with that soft-ass voice? You sound like a damn girl! Speak up!"
"YES!"
"Good. I'm hanging up now. But if I find out Auntie Sawamura isn't satisfied, you're dead meat."
"…"
Faced with Miura's relentless scolding, Hikigaya sighed bitterly and hung up.
"Hehe, Yumiko-chan is such a pure-hearted girl. How can you not fall for someone like that, Hikigaya-kun?" Sayuri giggled, planting several kisses on him. "When are you going to win her over? Auntie can help, you know~"
"You—!"
Gritting his teeth, Hikigaya replied:
"Miura already has someone she likes. Auntie, stop messing around."
"Yeah, yeah."
Brushing him off with a couple of nonchalant words, Sayuri then blinked and cooed seductively:
"Hikigaya-kun, Auntie just had a wild idea~"
"You're starting again?" Hikigaya asked warily.
"Hehe, of course. But before we really begin, I want to spice things up a bit~" Sayuri replied, her tone teasing.
"?" Hikigaya frowned in confusion.
Sayuri's smile widened as she licked her lips.
"How about this—while we're, ahem, in the middle of things, you give your girlfriend a call? What do you think?"
Hikigaya's eyes shot wide open.
"What did you just say?!"
"Come on, Hikigaya-kun~ Call your girlfriend~"
"N-No way!"
Just hearing her mention calling Yukinoshita made Hikigaya absolutely adamant. There was no way he'd do something so depraved.
"But it would be so thrilling~" Sayuri coaxed.
"No means no! Auntie, we'll get caught!"
"You have to trust Auntie~"
"Absolutely not!" Hikigaya clung tightly to his phone, afraid she'd snatch it out of his pocket.
"Sigh. Fine, if you won't call your girlfriend… then Auntie will just make a call herself~ Let's see… how about your dear Auntie Yuigahama?" Sayuri said with a wicked grin as she pulled out her own phone.
Hikigaya's expression changed instantly.
"Auntie Sawamura—don't!"
"Hello? Asuna?"
---
Meanwhile, somewhere else—
Mrs. Yuigahama was soaking in a warm bath, enjoying a rare moment of peace. When her phone rang, she picked it up absentmindedly and answered.
"Sayuri? What's the matter?"
"Hehe, Asuna~ Hikigaya-kun is such a treasure~ He's just so adorable right now~~"
"???"
Mrs. Yuigahama, who had been completely relaxed, suddenly shot up from the tub. Water cascaded off her body as harsh light reflected against her wet skin.
Sayuri's teasing tone was already more than enough.
But beyond that, she could faintly hear the distressed cries of a teenage boy in the background.
Realization struck her like lightning. Her heart skipped a beat, and she shouted furiously:
"Sayuri, you bitch! Stop it right now! Hikigaya-kun is still a child!!"
"He's such a cutie~" Sayuri cooed, giggling. "Hey Asuna, why don't we switch to a video call?"
"???"