Setting aside her... unique interpretation of things, Natsukawa Kanade couldn't help but feel that Miko had at least found some inspiration. The tight frown she'd been wearing earlier had gradually softened, her brow unknitting as the gears in her head began to turn. That said, even if she'd had some sort of dramatic mental breakthrough, it didn't mean the rest of their day's plans had changed.
The promised yakiniku outing? Yeah, that was still happening. No amount of enlightenment was getting them out of that one.
After a while of wandering aimlessly through the shopping district—checking out a few windows, dodging aggressive flyer-handing staff, and briefly discussing whether or not cats in café windows should be considered employees—they reached the consensus that it was, in fact, kind of boring. So, in classic student fashion, they ducked into the first dessert shop they could find, partly to rest, and partly to pass the time.
Kanade ordered a couple of meat buns, mostly out of habit. His appetite was nowhere to be found, but his energy was flagging a little, so he also added an iced Americano to his tray. He sipped at it slowly, quietly appreciating the bitter chill.
Beside him, however, Miko had transformed into a sugar-fueled whirlwind. Not content with just a crepe, she also ordered a full strawberry sundae and a slice of matcha cake. She didn't even look like she was tasting anything in particular—just cheerfully devouring everything with alarming efficiency.
Kanade blinked in disbelief. "Uh... if I'm not wrong, didn't we just grab breakfast together? Like, not even two hours ago? You had five meat buns…"
Miko paused mid-bite, cheeks bulging with cake like a startled chipmunk. Her spoon hovered in the air, and for a moment, she looked like she might finally realize she'd gone too far.
Then she swallowed, cleared her throat, and declared with unshakeable confidence, "Sweet things and regular meals don't count as the same! Obviously!"
Kanade raised an eyebrow. "...What do you mean?."
"No, really!" she insisted, stabbing a fork into the matcha cake like she was proving a point. "Girls have two stomachs, you know? One for food, and one for dessert! Everyone knows that!"
"..."
That explanation sounded like something she'd heard in a shoujo anime and decided to adopt as a life philosophy. Kanade stared at her in silence, watching as she resumed eating with even more gusto, clearly not the least bit slowed down.
She didn't look anywhere near full, either. Her pace didn't slow, her eyes still sparkled with joy, and Kanade had the distinct feeling that if someone brought over a second round of sweets, she'd probably go all in without hesitation.
Honestly, someone with that kind of appetite should be a bit more... boisterous, right? Maybe eating with the chaos of a character like Chika Fujiwara. But Miko? No, every bite was neat and dainty. She nibbled like a tiny animal—like a hamster with sunflower seeds—wearing this weirdly refined smile, even as her intake reached monster-level stats.
Before he even noticed, all three desserts were gone.
Kanade glanced down at his coffee. He'd only made it halfway through.
"..."
Just when he thought she might finally lean back and sigh with satisfaction, Miko suddenly scrunched her nose and frowned. "Hmm... not as good as I imagined."
"Eh?" Kanade looked up, surprised.
"The crepe's fruit wasn't fresh enough," she muttered, pulling a small notebook from her bag like a seasoned food critic. "And the matcha cake texture was off. Not fluffy enough—must've been overbaked. The sundae was sweet, but too sweet, so the strawberry flavor got totally lost."
She scribbled furiously as she talked, rating everything like she was giving notes to a professional chef. "Overall… 6 out of 10. Barely passing. But there's room for improvement."
Kanade watched in stunned silence.
It wasn't even the note-taking that shocked him. He did the same sometimes—mentally jotting down things to avoid repeating mistakes. But the contrast. Just moments ago, she'd looked absolutely thrilled while eating—swinging her legs under the table like a kid at a festival. Now she was writing them off like a coldhearted food critic on a rampage.
"…Could she be secretly a split personality type like Kaguya-sama?" Kanade thought, sweatdropping.
Finally, he couldn't hold it in anymore. "Um… not to interrupt or anything," he said, voice cautious. "But you were really enjoying yourself a minute ago, weren't you? I mean, I saw you smiling while eating, and now you're just tearing it apart."
He trailed off awkwardly, unsure whether he'd crossed a line. Maybe she didn't like being questioned? Maybe she took her dessert judgment very seriously?
But Miko simply gave him a flat look—calm, composed, and just a little condescending. Her reply was immediate, as if the answer should have been obvious to anyone with a brain cell.
"These two things don't contradict each other, you know?" she said plainly, as if explaining something to a five-year-old. "I was happy. That doesn't mean the food wasn't disappointing. One thing is one thing."
Then, she added seriously, "I can't just waste food or get mad at it, right?"
"..."
Kanade opened his mouth to say something—anything—but couldn't find the words. Somehow, it made perfect sense... and yet his brain refused to process it.
What the heck… Why does that logic actually work?!
Resigning himself to the mysterious inner workings of Miko's mind, he took another sip of his iced Americano and decided it was safer to just stay quiet when it came to pretty girls and their dessert philosophies.
As they sat in companionable silence, Kanade plugged in his phone to recharge and began scrolling aimlessly. He figured it was a good time to look for potential spots to celebrate his friend's birthday. Something low-key, nothing too flashy.
While browsing, he stumbled across a highly-rated listing for hot pot restaurant. For a brief second, he considered it... then immediately rejected it. That place wasn't for entertainment—it was the entertainment. Dancing noodle servers, constant crowd energy—it was way too extra. And besides, this outing with Miko wasn't that kind of event.
Netizens had seriously messed up their definitions of "entertainment venues" this year.
Eventually, he landed on something a little more chill: a cat café. It felt like the perfect middle ground—peaceful, cute, and not too intimate.
Still, no matter how good the idea sounded in his head, he needed to check with his companion first.
"Hey, Iino," Kanade began, casual as ever, "do you like animals? Specifically… cats?"
"Eh?" Miko blinked, caught off guard by the sudden topic. "Cats…? Hmm, I guess I do. I even thought about getting one once."
"But my parents are always busy, and I wasn't sure I could take proper care of it by myself, so… I gave up."
Kanade nodded thoughtfully. "Sou ka… I see. Well, since you don't dislike them, what do you say to checking out a cat café next? It's gotta be more interesting than just sitting around here doing nothing."
"Cat café…" Miko repeated, turning the words over in her head. After a moment of consideration, she gave a small, enthusiastic nod. "Okay! I'm fine with that."
Though she wasn't the type to insist on specific plans, Kanade had noticed one pattern: if good food was involved, she was always on board.
"Alright," Kanade said with a grin, finishing the last of his coffee. "I'll message the owner and try to book a spot around noon. You've eaten enough to last a while, so we've got time to digest."
He pulled up the café's contact info and sent a message to reserve a table, fingers moving quickly across the screen.
"Oh, and by the way," he added, looking back up, "the café does serve snacks, but their menu's kinda limited. So if there's anything you really want, it might be better to grab it now, that way we'll only need to pay the entry fee when we arrive."
It was meant to be a casual suggestion. Honestly, Kanade didn't expect her to eat anything else—she'd just devoured a mini dessert buffet after all.
But reality had other plans.
"In that case," Miko said seriously, already standing up, "I'll grab another vanilla cake and some sable cookies."
"…"
Kanade watched her head off toward the counter like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Yare yare daze… He let out a quiet sigh and turned back to his phone, confirming the reservation with the cat café. After locking in the time, he set his phone aside and leaned back in his chair, ready to wait.
It wasn't long before he heard hurried footsteps approaching. He glanced up—only to see Miko returning, but not with dessert in hand.
Instead, she wore a panicked expression and leaned in close, voice full of urgency.
"Senpai, what do I do?! Two of my classmates just walked in!"
"Uh…" Kanade blinked. "Okay? Then… say hi?"
He honestly didn't get the issue. Was she trying to avoid them? Why was he the one being asked?
Miko groaned dramatically. "It's a huge problem, Senpai!"
She glanced over her shoulder, eyes wide. Sure enough, two girls had just entered the shop and were walking toward the counter.
"There's no time to explain!" she hissed, spinning back toward him, clearly in panic mode.
Kanade was about to ask what the heck was going on, but then he noticed something else—her gaze wasn't locked on him exactly.
No, she was staring at the spot next to him, her eyes calculating, like a general plotting a last-minute escape plan.
And that could only mean one thing.
"Oh no…" he muttered.
"Senpai, let me in!" Iino Miko whispered frantically. Without waiting for a reply, she stepped over him in one swift motion, trying to squeeze herself into the tiny space between him and the café booth wall.
"...???" Kanade's brows twitched. "Oi, nande all of a sudden? What are you doing?"
"Shh! Don't talk yet, please—let me hide first!" Miko whispered, her voice like the sound of someone dodging death itself.
She crouched down, attempting to wedge herself under the table. But the booth's design betrayed her—between the thick legs of the table and the minimal gap under the seat, there simply wasn't enough room for a high school girl to hide.
Thunk!
"Itai~!" Miko winced, having smacked her head squarely on the underside of the table. She clapped a hand over her mouth to keep from yelping, watery eyes welling with tears as she slowly raised her head again.
"..."
Kanade sat frozen, completely speechless. It was like watching someone attempt a stealth mission in broad daylight… and somehow trip every alarm.
But despite how absurd it looked, he could now see what was going on—Miko was trying very hard not to be seen. Clearly, she didn't want to be recognized by her classmates. He didn't know the reason, but this kind of behavior wasn't unfamiliar. Girls had their reasons. Especially the shy types.
"Okay, okay…" Kanade sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Just keep your head down like that. They probably won't notice you."
He pointed at the table. "If you really want to be sure, just lie down and hide your face. Out of sight, out of mind, right?"
It was like some kind of ostrich philosophy. As long as you couldn't see the problem, the problem didn't exist.
Still, Miko nodded quickly and adjusted her posture, curling herself in tight and avoiding eye contact with the world. She even controlled her breathing, barely daring to exhale through her nose. Her heart pounded in her chest like a taiko drum. All she could do now was pray that her classmates would hurry up and leave.
But, as one of the great philosophers once said: The more you fear something, the more it chases you.
"Hey, isn't that the student council president?"
A cheerful male voice chimed nearby.
No way...
Kanade glanced to the side. Sure enough, two students—clearly Miko's classmates—had come over. One of them, a tall guy with bright eyes and no tact, was pointing right at him.
"What a coincidence! Didn't expect to see you here, Kaichou!"
"…Yeah. Small world," Kanade muttered.
At first, the guy assumed Kanade was sitting alone. But as he stepped closer, he finally noticed the petite figure practically melting into Kanade's side, her posture awkward, her head down like she was about to sink into the floor.
"Ah... my bad," the guy said with a chuckle. "Didn't realize you were... accompanied."
He squinted at Miko, visibly confused. Her body language screamed, I'm not here, please ignore me. That, of course, only made her more suspicious.
"Uh, Kaichou... this is?" His eyes sparkled in that all-too-familiar gossip mode.
Kanade's mouth twitched. He knew that look. The boy was already cooking up a spicy rumor.
"...She's my younger sister," Kanade said smoothly, tone calm. "She came to visit me on her day off, so I figured I'd take her out for a bit. She's, uh... a little shy around strangers."
Please buy it. Please just go with it.
There was a stiff moment of silence. Miko, still curled beside him, gave a visible twitch, but stayed quiet. For once, her stubborn pride was overpowered by sheer survival instinct.
"Heeeeh~ Your little sister, huh?" The boy raised a brow, clearly unconvinced. His eyes wandered between the two of them, trying to connect dots that didn't exist. He opened his mouth again, but—
Smack!
His female companion smacked him on the arm and shot him a look that said, Stop being nosy, baka.
"Ah—s-sorry!" the boy laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. "Didn't mean to intrude. You two enjoy yourselves! Don't mind us! We'll, uh, get going."
They both turned to leave, giving a polite wave.
Kanade gave a half-hearted wave back, his face deadpan. "Yeah, sure. Enjoy your... desserts."
But in his mind, all he could think was: Yare yare… what kind of misunderstanding is this now?
If she were really his little sister, why would she be acting so suspicious? Anyone with a brain could see something was off. He could already imagine the rumors brewing:
"The student council president's into weird roleplay stuff—brings his girlfriend out and calls her 'little sister'!"
Just kill me now…
Still, at least the curious couple had some self-awareness. Instead of sitting down, they decided to take their cakes to go, offering one final wave before walking out the café door.
"Alright, they're gone now. You can come up," Kanade said with a sigh of relief.
But Miko didn't immediately respond.
He tilted his head, slightly concerned. "Oi, you okay?"
"I-I get it..." Miko finally murmured, still hiding her face behind her hands. "After all, Senpai is... also a boy…"
"Huh?" Kanade blinked, completely lost.
"That, um… i-it… s-stood up…"
"Hah?!"
She pointed—shakily—toward his lap.
Kanade followed her gaze. Then froze.
His phone. It was resting awkwardly in his lap from when he'd been browsing earlier. The sudden movement must've made it tilt in just the wrong angle.
"No no no! It's the phone! The phone! That thing you're pointing at is a phone!! Don't get the wrong idea, onegai!!"
"Ah… s-sou ka… It's the phone… yeah…"
"..."
Kanade's face darkened. A giant metaphorical shadow loomed behind him.
"You don't believe me at all, do you?!"