Faunus Frenzy and Lovable Dolts
As the start of the second month began, many first-year students viewed it as the journey to become hunters would be far longer than they thought. The many classes, the homework, the overload of it all wore down on them in a way the combat schools did not. For most students, they would resign themselves to this fact and grimly accept it. For an overly energetic young first year, the longtime is a feature, not a problem.
Team RWBY was awoken at the crack of dawn that Saturday sharply as Ruby rushed them out of bed faster than a lightning bolt. While Blake and Weiss groaned and got quite annoyed, Yang sighed. She knew exactly where this was going. This was her sister trying to get an entire day of uninterrupted bonding.
"Ruby… you didn't have to get us up this early…" Yang pointed out with a yawn.
"You're right, I didn't. But I wanted to. So how do you like them apples?" Ruby smugly said, thinking she won.
"I'm going to hit you in the crabapples for this." Blake growled, her hair a fright this early.
Weiss simply glared at her team leader. "No talking. Not until I've had my morning coffee…" The Schnee heiress groaned out in irritation.
"Funny, Azura said the same thing after I accidentally broke his bed trying to get him up." Ruby answered in a confused fashion.
"Didn't think you'd go that far already, little sis. Did Azura force you into anything…?" Yang yawned out in half-playful annoyance.
"YANG!" Ruby yelled indignantly.
"Can you four shut up!? You'll wake the dead in there! And, by the dead, I mean Jaune!" Nora yelled through her team's door.
"How did you try to kill him this time, Nora?" Blake asked bemused through the door.
"I didn't! Somehow, this bastard can sleep through a bomb blast!" Nora yelled back.
"My ears…" A distinctive groan from Ren could faintly reach through the two doors.
"It's times like this I envy how sound of a sleeper Jaune is." Pyrrha's voice piped up.
"That's it, killing you both!" Weiss yelled, pulling out her blade.
As chaos unfolded, down the hall in the dorm kitchen, Team AZRE was spared as they had already experienced their own form of Ruby induced chaos. However, Rena, Zhan, and Ember were now left with a very annoyed and caffeine lacking Azura.
"What do we do?" Ember nervously whispered as she was working on brewing coffee for everyone.
"Grow you a spine, for one." Rena grumbled.
"You lay off her, Rena. She's trying to be helpful. Unlike you, who laughed at the bed breaking." Zhan shot back.
"Did you see that Frog Splash!? She fucked that up from the moment she went airborne!" Rena chuckled.
"Wait… You're a wrestling fan? How does that work in Atlas with all the snow and…" Zhan asked before being violently interrupted.
"NO TALKING! Not until I have caffeine in my system!" Azura snapped out viciously, glaring at the coffee maker.
"I'm sorry, Azura, but it will be ready when it's done. It's still warming up the water…" Ember meekly said.
"Not fast enough, if you ask me…!" Azura growled out.
"Boss, you've been glaring at the coffee maker for ten minutes. You know what they say about a watched pot never boiling." Zhan pointed out, trying to be helpful.
"The only saying I know is how to boil a bad-mouthing teammate in oil." Azura growled.
"Wow. You really do not like being up early without your morning coffee." Rena responded, surprised at the level of aggression from the normally amicable and polite samurai.
"Well, he's a tiger. You know they stay up all night marking their territory." Zhan muttered.
"I WILL RIP YOUR BALLS OFF AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT, ZHAN! AND HURRY UP, YOU STUPID ANCIENT COFFEE MAKER! I NEED MY MORNING CAFFÉ MOCHA!" Azura roared in frustrated fury.
Mercifully for everyone's eardrums, the ding of the blasted machine was music to everyone's ears. Ember poured their coffee into everyone and put it all on the table in front of their spots as she started on making something to calm everyone's stomachs. Azura and Zhan's stomachs growled fiercely at the lack of food, as if trying to outdo the other in fierce intensity.
"I knew I shouldn't have skipped out on that shrimp last night." Zhan grumbled as he chugged down a cup of coffee.
"It would have made you sick. I know the smell of bad shrimp anywhere." Azura grumbled back, sipping on his caffeinated beverage.
"As much as I don't want to admit it, but yeah probably." Zhan sighed.
"Can you two shut up and just drink your coffee?" Rena groaned.
"This is no mere coffee, Miss Septum. This is a caffé mocha." Azura replied with an irritated glare as he continued to sip on his caffeinated adrenaline.
"Sounds like a fancy way to say caffeinated bean soup." Rena answered dryly, before sipping her own coffee.
"Say that again and I will rip your tongue out before shoving it where the sun does not shine. Nobody insults the energy giving nectar of the gods in my presence." Azura growled out.
"I prefer builders tea anyway." Rena shrugged as Ember gave everyone a plate of pancakes.
"How do you make food so fast, Ember? For that matter, so early in the morning?" Zhan asked as he grabbed the syrup bottle at the same time as Azura.
"I worked on a farm my whole life. This is actually a late morning for me." Ember answered simply as she began making more pancakes and started making scrambled eggs.
Azura simply growled like a ferocious beast at his partner before snapping his teeth at the offending hand like an enraged jungle cat. This action forced Zhan to let go of the bottle of sweet, sticky nectar out of fear of losing his fingers. Rena began laughing as Ember nearly sent a pancake into the ceiling.
"What the hell, man!? That's my finger, not a sausage link!" Zhan yelled as his team leader.
Azura simply glared before pulling the maple syrup towards himself and dousing his pancakes in it. Placing the bottle back in the center of the table, he moved his hand away for Zhan to grab it. Cautiously, the tall blacksmith reached out and grabbed the bottle. Seeing his team leader not make any moves to snap his fingers off with his teeth, he hastily pulled the bottle to him just in case.
"Can we keep this Azura?" Rena snickered.
"Can we drown him in the bathtub?" Zhan grumbled as he poured syrup on his own pancakes.
"Wait a minute! I forgot someone!" The distant echo of Ruby rang through the halls.
"Just when this day was going to be normal." Rena sighed.
"This? This is normal?" Zhan said indignantly.
"At least we get to have a normal breakfast before the insanity ensues." Azura grumbled out as he began eating his pancakes.
With that, Team JNPR and most of Team RWBY made their way into the kitchen. Nora, upon seeing the mass of pancakes Azura had that was doused in syrup, tried to subtly sneak a hand over to snatch away the plate. However, to everyone's shock, Azura stabbed his butter knife into the table hard enough to pierce through the wood, barely missing Nora's index finger. Glaring at the ginger haired Valkyrie, he growled like a predatory beast protecting its kill.
"Easy, Tiger…" Nora said as she slowly backed away.
"Note to self: Never come between a Sōtora and their food. You'll be lucky to just lose a finger." Yang muttered, sitting down to wait for her plate to be served up as Azura ripped his butter knife out of the table and continued eating.
As soon as they filed in, Ruby barreled into the room holding aloft a tired and confused Trivia. Ruby then threw the two of them into seats and made the mistake of in her haste attempting to grab Azura's plate. To her surprise, Azura snapped his teeth at her fingers and growled in a non-verbal warning. This caused her to jump away.
"Alright, Ruby. What's the plan?" Blake asked.
"Off to have a great day on the town as a big group of friends!" Ruby excitedly yelled.
"... And that couldn't have waited until the sun was up why, exactly?" Azura drolled out in a deadpan.
"Because I haven't actually seen most of Vale…" Ruby sheepishly answered.
Azura rolled his eyes. "Fantastic. And I get to miss my weekend twelve hours a day of sleep because of it…" He replied, digging into his pancakes as politely as he could.
Ruby then deflated at that, her big plan hitting the imposing stone edifice that was Azura's terrible weekend sleep cycle. However, soon everyone felt a wrath filled aura begin to emanate. Everyone slowly looked to see it come from Yang. Her Semblance was activated, her eyes a burning red as her hair seemed to be on fire. And all that rage and fury was directed at Azura in a vicious glare.
"Listen here, you pompous ass! All Ruby wants is to get to spend time with her friends! Now either check your attitude or I'll break every bone in your arms and legs so we can drag you along with us!" Yang growled out, barely biting back a roar.
Azura glared back at Yang, his hand gripping his butter knife. "I get that and normally I would be more okay with it, Xiao Long. But, when you grow up the way I did, you end up getting extraordinarily little sleep on weekdays and usually only get to sleep in on weekends. Not only that, but she broke my bed jumping on my chest to wake me up. Such a situation does not lend to being the most upbeat or enthusiastic about being up early." He shot back.
Glaring, Yang stood up and prepared to deck Azura in the face as Azura stood up as well, butter knife held in hand like a lethal weapon. Which, in the hands of someone like him, it might as well have been. However, before things could escalate, Ruby stepped between them and pushed them away from each other.
"ENOUGH! Both of you!" The red hooded reaper snapped out with surprising authority.
"Ruby…" Yang said surprised, her body frozen in its pose.
"Both of you are acting like children! I'm sorry I've caused so much trouble, but I just wanted for once in my life to have a day out with my friends! I will work now and forever to fix what I have done wrong, but you two shouldn't fight over this!" Ruby yelled.
The two flinched at that, starting to realize how childish their exhaustion and hunger had been making them act. Sighing, they both turned to look at the red reaper. "Sorry, Ruby…" They both said in response.
"Maybe we can all go as our first stop to a bed store to get you a new one?" Yang asked, trying to provide an olive branch to Azura.
"That sounds good. And I guess I can miss sleeping in for one Saturday if it means spending time with my friends." Azura replied, meeting her halfway.
"Let the fun begin!!" Ruby yelled, pulling the two necks first into a hug.
"Breakfast first, Ruby." The two chokees told the energetic scythe user.
After removing Ruby's arms from their windpipes, Yang and Azura lead the charge in continued crimes against massed food existence. After that, trips to the shower rooms and getting on appropriate clothing, Nora notwithstanding, they finally were ready for their totally magical and not completely mundane adventure.
As everyone walked their ways through the bustling streets of Vale, Blake and Yang noticed the demeanor of their white clad teammate. As Weiss drifted a bit away from the group, yet still close enough to still be part of it, Yang elbowed Blake to get her attention.
"You rang?" Blake asked, looking up from her Ninja's of Love Volume 5, which was hidden inside another book, at her partner.
"You notice it too? What's going on with Weiss, I mean…" Yang quietly asked her partner.
"Let's see. Silent, distant, even more moody than usual, writing in a journal like she's an anime schoolgirl?" Blake quietly asked back.
"Exactly." Yang quietly replied in concern.
"Guess she's living up to being an ice queen." Blake answered, Yang simply giving her a dirty look. "What? I'm not good with tension. Frankly, I usually just try to avoid it through dry humor and distance."
"No, Blake. Something is wrong. I mean, really wrong." Yang insisted quietly.
"Alright, so we've identified the problem. How exactly do we go forward with this? Last time I checked, you and I aren't in her good books as of late." Blake answered quietly.
"We need to talk to Ruby and figure out a way to get Weiss to open up to us about it. I'm not sure how, but we need to put our heads together." The blonde replied in a whisper.
As if on cue, an almighty crash was heard, of a sort of two bodies colliding at high speed. Turning to the scene of the incident, they saw a golden-haired tan boy in scruffy clothing, and a golden monkey tail out his rear. While the sudden insertion of this Faunus boy turned most to stunned silence, it turned the silent Weiss to be more vocal.
"Get off of me, you scruffy, golden simian ruffian!" Weiss groaned in pain and irritation.
"Sorry about that! I usually invite a girl to dinner first, but I'm kinda in a hurry!" The monkey Faunus replied, jumping off the Schnee heiress and helping Weiss up.
"Don't act like you're some dashing rogue!" Weiss yelled indignantly.
"Who's acting?" He asked with a grin before looking at Blake and giving her a playful wink.
"That's it! Tonight, I'm dining on monkey soup!" Weiss yelled as she pulled out her weapon.
"On that note, that's my cue to leave! Good day, ladies and gentlemen!" The monkey tailed boy replied with a slight bow before taking off.
"You will not escape my wrath!!" Weiss yelled before activating her Glyphs to give chase.
"Well, good news, Yang. She's finally speaking again." Blake said coyly to her partner.
"Great. Now we need to chase Weiss down and keep her from committing a murderous hate crime." Yang replied in frustration as the rest of Team RWBY took off after the Schnee heiress.
"And here I thought this was going to be a normal day trip." Azura sighed.
"With Team RWBY? No way." Zhan answered as they and the others followed behind.
To the monkey boy's surprise, he turned his head to see a distinct white streak chasing after him. Using her glyphs to both provide speedy jumps and surging speed, she was gaining on him in leaps and bounds. Fearing of having his head taken off by a sword wielding white freight train, he had to think of something quick. Not easy for a man who is legally blonde, but if there was one thing he was good at, it was defying his hair color's nature.
After jumping off a trash can to help break his fall, he then grabbed a banana off a fruit stand. Peeling and consuming it at a rate best described as inhalation, he then threw the banana peel behind him. Right into the oncoming path of the wrath fueled Schnee. Unable to avoid in time due to the midair launch of one of her Glyphs, her left foot landed on the peel. Combined with her heels not providing good traction in such situations, she lost control of her momentum and balance. This sent the poor heiress tumbling back into an oncoming Ruby, tripping her, and sending her flying forward.
"I'm afraid of heights!!!" Ruby wailed as she was sent careening down the street.
"Ruby!" Yang called out, running after her baby sister.
"... Really, Weiss? You fell for the old 'banana peel' gag?" Blake asked in a deadpan.
"Shut up and hunt down your golden boy toy, you smut loving nerd." Weiss growled into the pavement.
Blake blushed at her teammate's words. "I just met him and my tastes in literature have nothing to do with this!" She frantically replied as she helped Weiss up.
"Hey, Rena. How would you rate Weiss's maneuver back there?" Zhan asked.
"I'd give her a five for the launch. I don't know about that landing." Rena answered with a smirk.
"If I see those five yellow bellied bastards, I'll gut every last one of them and make them cry uncle…" Weiss said, having to lean on Blake as she soon began losing her balance and put her hand on her very sore head.
"I think she's injured. Hang on, I'll go grab the first aid kit." Ember said, rushing off.
"I told you it was a good idea to bring that." Azura replied smugly.
"When I figure out which one of you Azura's is saying that you better learn to shut up." Weiss groaned.
As the rest of the grand gaggle of idiots tended to the folly of the ice queen, Yang rushed to find her flying idiot sister. As the action gravitated towards where Weiss had her fall from grace, it made the streets comparatively quiet. This allowed Yang to hear her sister's groans in pain. When she arrived, she was surprised to see her in the arms of a red-headed girl in a white and green dress. The girl looked at her in an odd way before giving her a smile.
"Salutations!" The red headed girl enthusiastically greeted Ruby and Yang.
"Why do I feel like I landed on a steel girder…?" Ruby moaned.
"My apologies. Allow me." The girl replied, placing Ruby down on her feet before dusting her off.
"Thank you, miss…" Yang said before being sharply cut off by the girl.
"Penny. Penny Polendina. It is an immense pleasure to meet you both." The girl, now identified as Penny, introduced herself.
"Thanks for saving my sister. She got a bit over her head in trying to help a friend." Yang answered.
"Not a problem, miss blonde! Always happy to help a citizen in need." Penny answered with a smile.
Yang looked at her a bit weirdly. "Um… actually, my name is Yang. Yang Xiao Long. I'm Ruby's big sister." She told the red-haired girl.
"Well, that makes sense, you are taller than her." Penny answered, looking over the two.
"I am average height for a woman of my age, thank you very much! Yang is just tall!" Ruby yelled indignantly.
"Size isn't everything, as they say." Penny replied, trying to be helpful.
"Yang hogged the milk growing up. That's the only reason she's got watermelons attached to her chest!" Ruby yelled, pointing at her chest.
"Isn't that painful? I have heard that having large mammaries will lead to back pains later in life." Penny asked innocently.
"Um… yeah? What are you again…?" Yang replied in confusion.
"I am a gynecological android!" Penny replied enthusiastically.
"Wait, does that mean you're like that thing Yang keeps under her bed that makes her moan like a banshee late at night?" Ruby asked, confused.
Yang blushed in embarrassment at that. "RUBY! You swore you wouldn't mention that in public!" She called out, admonishing her baby sister for sharing something so private.
"Then maybe you should be quieter at night!" Ruby shot back.
"That's not fair! I'm seventeen years old and you have sensitive hearing!" Yang replied.
"My arms do have a vibrate function if it makes things less awkward." Penny added, raising her hand like a student asking a question.
"Please don't mention that again, Penny!" Yang replied, trying to keep her face from going red.
"Mentioning vibrating arms function deleted." Penny answered.
"Wow, she really is a robot! Like in the movies! Yang, can we keep her!?" Ruby yelled excitedly.
"Android, actually. Androids are designed to look human while robots are not." Penny replied, correcting Ruby.
"Yang, she's a real girl robot! It's like that boy puppet movie but better and real!" Ruby excitedly said, jumping up and down.
"Ruby, we can't keep her! She's… technically a person? It's her choice." Yang replied, trying to reason with her baby sister.
"I do not believe that my father Pietro Polendina would approve of that." Penny added, shocking the two sisters at the name she mentioned.
"Wait… Dr. Pietro Polendina? The Dr. Pietro? The guy who revolutionized the Atlesian ground forces?" Yang asked, stunned.
Penny nodded. "Yes indeed. He is my father and the man who made me." She replied with a smile.
"What are you doing away from Atlas then?" Ruby asked, looking around and motioning to clearly not Atlesian surroundings.
"I am here to represent Atlas for the Vytal Festival! I am combat ready!" Penny replied enthusiastically.
"Um… That's not for several months now…" Yang answered.
Penny tilted her head in confusion. "It is? Checking internal calendar…" She replied.
"Well, if that's the case, then where's your father?" Yang asked in confusion.
At that, a black elongated car rolled up to the end of the intersection and opened the black tinted window. Ruby could barely make him out at that distance, getting brown skin and greyish hair. His voice however was distinctly that of a kindly man's.
"Penny! There you are, dear!" The man called out.
"Hello, father!" Penny called out in response, waving at Dr. Polendina.
"You had me so worried! I was wondering where you ran off too!" Dr. Polendina yelled.
"My apologies, father! I was making friends!" Penny replied before looking back to Yang and Ruby. "It appears I have to leave. My apologies. We are friends, are we not?"
"Yeah. I think so. Least we could do for you saving me from my face hitting the pavement." Ruby answered awkwardly, not entirely sure.
Yang looked less sure than Ruby but shrugged and smiled. "Why not? Could be fun." The blonde pugilist replied.
At that, Penny hugged the two, one in each arm, with strength that surprised the two powerhouses. It was as if a bear devoured a weightlifting machine. Before their spines could be splintered through their Aura, Penny mercifully let go and gave them a warm smile.
"Goodbye, my friends! I will see you around Vale! Until next time!" Penny answered before running off chipperly to see her father.
"... Did we just make friends with a gynoid?" Yang asked in disbelief.
"I refuse to call her that. That sounds weird. Does girlbot work?" Ruby asked.
"No." Yang answered.
"And this is why I didn't do the best in science class." Ruby sighed.