Their group stopped, staring at the elf in front of them. He looked different from the spirits they'd encountered so far. And much to Holli's surprise, he was wearing jeans and an open flannel shirt, with a black t-shirt underneath. But he was an elf. His big blue eyes positively danced when they fixed on Holli, a beaming smile lighting up his handsome face.
"Holiday," he breathed out, genuine relief and joy at seeing her. He looked at her as if she were the only one who existed.
"Do I know you?" She made to step closer, but Hawke placed a restraining hand on her shoulder. There was a sense of familiarity about the man.
"Careful," Hawke murmured.
"My name is Riluan," he told her.
She faltered, a sharp intake of breath. "No, that – that's not right," she said, an edge of scepticism lining her words. "You're an elf. Not that I have anything against elves," she tried to backpedal. "But we don't have elves where I come from."
"I know. I'm from Thedas. Like you, I jumped worlds," he said, coming closer, clearly wanting to hold her, or touch her, or take her hand.
"Holli?" Hawke asked.
"My father's name is Riluan," she explained, unsure. That was the name on her birth certificate. Just a first name, no last. "But... mum would have said if you were an elf. Or if she didn't know what an elf was, she would have mentioned your ears. Or that you came from another world."
"Candace always assumed I was just strange and that my ears were a birth defect," he explained. "I kept them hidden most of the time anyway."
He knew her mum's name. "You can't really be my dad. He's just... he was a deadbeat who bailed the day I was born. Mum said!"
"It could be a trick," Fenris said, drawing his sword. "A demon in disguise."
"No," Solas said. "He is no demon."
Solas's voice seemed to draw Riluan's attention, his joy fading, his eyes turning steely.
"Explain it to me," Holli demanded.
"My little girl, I had no choice in leaving you. I swear it. And I will," he said softly. "I'll answer every question I can in the time we have; I give you my word. But first, the demon working with Corypheus – when you were pulled into the Fade the first time, this demon took a part of you. Recover it, and we can speak."
He swept his arm, indicating the field below. Amidst the rocks and strange pools, there were objects emanating a distinct aura. She recognised these objects - the bathroom door from school, one of Katie's hair clips, she shuddered at the sight of the gun, and the last was the ring her mother wore on a chain around her neck. One of the only things precious enough to the woman not to pawn, no matter how drugged out and desperate she was. She understood the significance of the other three items, not the fourth. Maybe it would be clear when she recovered it.
Of course the items were surrounded by demons; she clenched her fists, gritted her teeth and made her way towards them. She hated fighting, but she'd do it. Hawke and the others were suddenly at her side.
"You don't have to," she said softly. "I think it's a me problem."
"And you're our problem," Hawke said, flashing her a shit-eating grin to show he meant it in the nicest, smart assiest way possible.
Hawke charged in first, drawing their attention, the others following suit. Holli kept to the periphery with the other mages and Varric, picking off their targets and protecting the others from being overwhelmed. When all the demons were dead, Holli went to the bathroom door, unsure what she was actually supposed to do with it. She reached out to it, her fingertips brushing the surface.
"I'm just gonna take a piss, guys," her voice rang out. "Save me a seat on the bus."
She cringed, half at the sound of her own voice and that the others heard it. Hawke looked like he was trying to contain childish snickers.
She cast him a glare that had no real heat to it and moved on. She picked up Katie's hairpin, drops of blood on it.
"Katie!" Holli's voice gasped out.
"Holli, help..."
The fear and anxiety that welled up in her at their voices almost had her doubling over and vomiting. It was made worse as she approached the gun. With great trepidation she stepped towards it, her hand shaking as she reached for it, hesitating just inches from it.
"What is it?" Dorian asked softly.
"It's a thing that hurts," Cole said. "A crack, quick and sharp, and leaves behind deathly cold. In the silence after, you can feel it – the change. Things don't go back the same."
Holli looked at him, biting at her lip. "It's a gun," she uttered, her voice low and broken. "It shoots small, metal projectiles that can travel about three hundred and fifty metres a second. It pierces tissue and shatters bones. With the right calibre and the right distance, it'll rip right through you."
"The objects I dug out of you..." Solas murmured.
She shuddered as she reached out and took hold of it, her fingers wrapping around it and her finger coming to rest on the trigger.
Three loud cracks echoed about them; she couldn't help the flinch at each one. Like the first two items, the gun dissolved.
"I don't know if I want these memories back. The demon can keep them."
"Every memory it keeps makes it stronger," Solas told her. "Hard as it may be, you can face this. You've already lived through it."
Her jaw tightened. "Fine."
She didn't want Solas to think less of her. She didn't want any of them to. With a steadying breath, she took hold of the ring, the last piece of the puzzle.
"I'm just gonna take a piss, guys," she told Yvette and Curtis. "Save me a seat on the bus."
"I already saved us the back one," Curtis told her.
Her friends carried on to the bus while she veered off into the bathroom. Just moments after entering, she could hear the sound of screaming and running feet outside the door, and she whirled around to face it. Then the pops came... She backed away from the door, her heart jumping into her throat. Her eyes darted around, looking at stalls as she contemplated hiding in there, then looking up at the window.
The door burst open, and Katie staggered in, blood all over her.
"Katie!"
Holli rushed over, helping her down to the ground.
"Holli, help..."
Holli tried to put pressure on the wound, blood bubbling out and over her hands. The door opened again, and a boy just a bit older than her entered. He didn't glare, didn't speak, just raised his gun and shot her. Holli fell back, staring at him in fear as she tried to stop her own blood pouring from her wounds. He stepped closer, gun still pointed. Behind him, reality ripped open as he fired again, missing her as they were sucked into the rift like rag dolls. A deafening roar shook the very air around them. Holli slammed into a person, a man she had never seen before, an elf of all things, in jeans and flannel. He held her to him, his arm holding her up while his other hand held something glowing so bright she couldn't make out what it was.
"Hold on," he whispered. "I'll get you to help, sweet girl, just hold on."
The light he was holding glowed brighter and brighter until it engulfed them all. And then it was as if Holli was in two places, in both the Fade and in a room with Corypheus, some Grey Wardens, and an old woman. Holli was standing beside the other elf but also alone, holding Corypheus's orb but also having her hand held there by Riluan.
"What!?" Corypheus spat, horror and anger. "Stop!"
And then the explosion.
Holli gripped her head, hoping the pressure would ease the pain. The others were in similar conditions. Christ, had they witnessed it too?
"So your mark did not come from Andraste," Stroud said, shaking off the vision. "And you really are from another world."
"I caused the explosion..." she gasped out. "If I wasn't there, if I hadn't touched the orb—"
"The explosion could have been Corypheus's intent all along; he knew he could survive it," Hawke told her. "The only difference is you ended up with the Anchor, not him."
"You think so?" She asked hopefully. She didn't want to be responsible for all that death, all that destruction.
Hawke nodded.
She looked up at the man, her father. Her heart thundered in her chest as she stalked towards him.
"You brought me here. How?" She demanded, standing in front of him.
"Magic, Holli. Piggybacking off the power Corypheus was summoning and taking advantage of the weakening in the veil he caused."
"Who are you? How did you end up in London? How did you meet my mum? Why are you here now? Why weren't you with us?"
"So we're just accepting he's not a demon?" Dorian asked with a raised brow.
"Solas said he isn't," Holli snapped, a little irritated, a little freaked out. Her hands were shaking.
She'd not expected to be hit with a revelation like this, not today. Not ever. After growing up believing her father was just some deadbeat – there were plenty of them in her world – he had been the furthest thing from her mind. A disappointment she'd never bothered to grieve.
"I am Riluan," he told her, his eyes shot to Solas's for a moment. "I existed here, in Thedas, many years ago. I was in a battle; powerful magics came into play; that orb was mine, and I suspect it was the reason I didn't die. I thought I was to die, and instead, I woke up in London. To Candace. I've never managed to figure out how it happened. And I am currently in the Fade because I... The day you were born, I died," he said, reaching out and brushing some of her hair back behind her ear, and she flinched at the unexpected tenderness.
"How?"
"By giving my life to you. You died during the birth," he said quietly. "The cost of reviving the dead is... substantial."
Holli blinked hard, trying to stop the sting and the wetness. "I thought – I thought mum was just being hateful all those times she said I was never supposed to exist."
"She was being hateful," he said, a quiet, sorrowful fury in his tone. "She should not have said such things to you."
"She'd say if I died like I was supposed to, you'd still be there. I just – I thought you wanted her to abort, and she just didn't, so you left."
Holli felt sick. All this time she'd thought he was just a piece of shit, but he'd killed himself for her.
"Magic can't do that," Dorian said. "Even blood magic can't revive the dead like that."
"I think between Holli and myself, we've managed to redefine some of magic's limitations," he said, his voice hard, his eyes glaring.
"You died because of me," Holli squeaked out.
He turned his attention back to her, his hands going to her shoulders. "No. I died for you. Willingly. It is a choice I would make a thousand times over. There is no father who wouldn't. Now, I wish we had more time, but the demon and Corypheus. He intended to rip open the Veil, use the Anchor to enter the Fade, and throw open the doors of the Black City. When we disrupted his plan, the orb bestowed the Anchor upon you instead. I did not intend it; I just wanted to use the power of the orb to get you here, where magic could save you. It didn't go as planned. You must believe I would never do anything to hurt you."
Holli didn't know what to believe. It was a lot. Her whole world – both worlds – was falling apart.
"You brought me here. You can send me home," Holli said.
He looked pained. "That is...not a good idea."
"Why?"
"There's nothing for you there anymore."
"Are you mental? Mum is there, Curtis and Yvette, my home, my life."
"Candace... has since... died, Holli. Overdose, I suspect," he told her, his voice pained.
Holli stared at him, a deep line between her brows. She could feel how hard she was frowning as she processed the words, trying to figure out if he was telling the truth or not.
Holli shook her head. "You don't know that. You can't know that. You're here, in the Fade. There is no Fade back home."
"I'm connected to both worlds," he said, raising his hand for her to see. Tattooed around his finger was a replica of the ring her mother wore. "That ring was forged with magic. I gave it to your mother. And through it I maintained my connection to Candace and, through our shared blood, to you. It's how I knew you were in trouble, how I knew to bring you here. And my connection to the orb was how I managed it."
"You're lying. Or you're wrong," she argued.
"I'd rather you not see this, but I'm unsure how else to make you believe," he said, crouching down and brushing his fingertips along the water of the puddle nearby. In it, a picture formed. It was Candace; she was sitting on a floor, leaning against a bed. Holli recognised her mum's duvet and the carpet in her room. The woman was motionless, her eyes open and unblinking and empty. Her skin was discoloured, and her head slumped to the side. Around her arm was a makeshift tourniquet, and still hanging in her arm was an empty syringe.
"No, it's a trick. You have to prove it's real," she demanded.
"How can I possibly prove it? Anything I show you, you can accuse of being magic or trickery."
He was right. She didn't know how he could prove it. What evidence she would accept. She looked desperately back at the others.
"Is there a way to know? Some kind of magical lie detector test?" She asked, panic tinging the edges of her words.
"He's telling the truth," Cole told her. "It hurts him to hurt you."
Holli stared at Cole, her heart racing as the meaning caught up with her. It was difficult with the buzzing in her ears.
"Then my friends, Yvette and Curtis, my school, my home. I have to get back to them I-"
Riluan shook his head sadly. "The magical backlash of bringing you here caused an explosion on par with the Conclave through the rupture between worlds left in your wake. Your school and the blocks surrounding it were destroyed, just as the Conclave was. I am so sorry, Holli," Riluan finished with a whisper.
Her eyes shot back to his, and the buzzing in her ears crescendoed as the realisation, what it meant hit like a tidal wave.
"Did – did you know?" She gasped out, each breath shallower than the last as the crushing guilt felt like it was suffocating her. "Did you know it would kill everyone? People I grew up with? My best friends!?"
"I knew it was likely."
"And you did it anyway!?"
"I gave my own life for yours; do you truly think I'd have any qualms about sacrificing strangers?" He asked her.
Her breath left her in a rush, her jaw dropped, her heart stopped, and her mind spiralled.
And then she screamed. The sound cracked like thunder through the Fade. She lunged at him, hurling every curse, every insult her grief could conjure.
They weren't strangers to her! How could he do this?
Fenris was the quickest to react, lifting her off the ground and holding her back. In strength, he absolutely dwarfed her, and her struggles against him to attack the bastard in front of her were useless, her strength draining as quickly as it had hit her.
"You shouldn't have done it; you should have just let..." she gasped out, going limp in Fenris's arms and not quite able to finish the sentence.
"Let you die? Never," he told her, as if the very idea was so unfathomable to him.
"Oh my god..." She groaned.
The ill feeling in her stomach bubbled up, and she vomited, thankfully not all over Fenris. But there was some bitter satisfaction in droplets landing on Riluan's shoes and the bottom of his jeans.
It was too much. She looked up at him from where she was crouching down.
She finally met her father, learned who he was, and... and he was a monster.
"I hate you," she breathed out.
Riluan crouched beside her, eyes shining. "I'm just glad you're alive to do so."