The warm morning sun spilled into the room like a tender embrace, painting everything it touched with a golden glow. Xue Tuzi stirred, his lashes fluttering open, the serenity of the moment shattered as a sharp gasp escaped his lips. The sudden sound roused the small Gu worm curled beside his cheek, its jelly-like body stirring as it blinked its wide, innocent eyes.
Xue Tuzi's trembling hands reached up to touch his bruised lips, his tongue darting out instinctively to taste the faint, bitter remnants of the previous night's affair. His body stiffened as shame surged through him, hot and unbearable, tears slipping unbidden from the corners of his reddened eyes. He pressed his palms to his face, a sob catching in his throat.
Jiao Jiao, sensed his despair, the little Gu worm rubbed its soft, gelatinous head against Xue Tuzi's cheek, a silent plea to comfort him. "Xiao Jiao," Xue Tuzi murmured, curling himself like wounded animal. "I'm disgusting. Filthy." His voice cracked under the weight of self-loathing.
Jiao Jiao burrowed under the thick blankets, determined to reach him, and gently nuzzled his face against Xue Tuzi's tear-streaked cheek. The tiny worm's tail, damp and delicate, wiped at the tears as best he could. Jiao Jiao's tiny heart ached at the sight of his beloved mama in such a pitiful state. He made a silent vow, his soft body trembling with resolve—he would never allow Shudu to come near Xue Tuzi again. Not ever.
With determination, Jiao Jiao pressed his small, sticky nubs against Xue Tuzi's cheeks, delivering a clumsy but earnest kiss. His wide, glistening eyes wavered with unshed tears as he watched Xue Tuzi slowly sit up. Xue Tuzi clutched his chest, his heartbeat wild and erratic, the memory of last night's grotesque entanglement replaying in his mind. His gaze darted around the room, searching, but the "culprit" was gone. The phantom of Shudu's scent still clung to him, lingering like a ghost as his tongue flicked across his lips, seeking, tasting the remnants of Shudu.
Rising from the bed, Xue Tuzi froze mid-step. His bare foot had landed in a dark, viscous puddle on the floor. Blood. His breath hitched, and his eyes followed the crimson trail, tracing its path to the shattered window. Shards of glass glittered like fallen stars amidst the chaos. Panic surged through him as he stumbled backward, colliding with the vanity.
Turning instinctively, Xue Tuzi caught sight of his reflection—or what should have been his reflection. What stared back at him was an image of himself, blissful and sexual, enjoying Shudu on his mouth. His cheeks were flushed, and his lips glistened as his tongue darted out to lick the other man's genitals. The sight was both surreal and sickening.
A scream tore from Xue Tuzi's throat as he clutched his head, sinking to his knees. Jiao Jiao hurled himself toward Xue Tuzi, desperate to console him but unable to reach him in time. With trembling fingers, Xue Tuzi yanked a silver needle from his hair, his eyes blazing with raw self-loathing. His tongue extended as he muttered curses under his breath. Without hesitation, he drove the needle into the flesh of his tongue.
Blood welled up, pooling and spilling over his lips as he gasped in pain, his body convulsing under the weight of his self-inflicted punishment. Jiao Jiao squealed in panic, his tiny form trembling with helplessness. He hovered near Xue Tuzi but hesitated to approach, paralyzed by fear. The sight of Xue Tuzi choking on his own blood shattered the little worm's heart, but he could do nothing but watch.
For Xue Tuzi, this act of harm was penance—a twisted attempt to atone for the "filth" he believed now stained his soul. His vision blurred as dizziness overcame him, yet he forced himself to move, crawling to his drawers. He rummaged with shaking hands, pulling out two small, beaded jewels. With a grim resolve, he sealed the needle in place, locking it within his tongue.
Jiao Jiao chirped pitifully, his soft nubs patting at Xue Tuzi's swollen, bloodied lips in desperation. But Xue Tuzi refused to remove the needle, even as Jiao Jiao pleaded silently for mercy. To him, this was a necessary punishment—a reminder of his transgressions with Shudu.
Dragging himself upright, Xue Tuzi wobbled toward the water basin. The reflection of his blood-streaked face stared back at him as he splashed cold water over his skin, attempting to wash away the night's lingering memories. He gagged, his body heaving as he vomited into the basin, expelling the remains of his sin.
His breaths came in ragged gasps as he reached for a cloth, wiping his face clean. The effort left him drained. He stripped off his tainted robes, the fabric slipping from his shoulders with a quiet rustle, before donning fresh garments. His movements were slow, mechanical, as if every step required a monumental effort. Finally, he steeled himself, drawing a shaky breath as he pushed open the door and departing.
Li Zhameng stood vigilantly at the entrance of Xue Laohu's secluded cave, his brows furrowed as he paced back and forth, the soles of his boots crunching against the loose gravel beneath him. The stillness of the mountain air was unnerving, broken only by the rustle of leaves in the distance. Li Zhameng's mind was anything but calm, consumed with vivid, carefully crafted fantasies about his Shizun's grand emergence from seclusion.
In his mind, the cave door would creak open, and there Xue Laohu would stand, his face shadowed but unmistakably noble. His lips would be dry and cracked from days of meditative abstinence, his sharp features haggard but no less striking. Li Zhameng imagined himself gasping, rushing forward, his heart leaping in his chest. "Shizun!" he would call, the syllables imbued with reverence and longing. His Shizun would turn to him slowly, his robes billowing slightly as a strong gust of wind swept through the mountains.
In the fantasy, Xue Laohu would falter, one hand bracing against the jagged walls of the cave as his strength gave way. Without hesitation, Li Zhameng would spring to his side, slipping his Shizun's arm over his shoulder to steady him. "Shizun, lean on me," he'd say, his voice low but steady. Xue Laohu's parched lips would part, his voice a hoarse whisper, "Meng Meng… I'm thirsty."
Li Zhameng's heart raced as he imagined pulling out his drinking flask, tipping it gently to let cool water trickle over his Shizun's lips. But the imagined Xue Laohu would cough, his body rejecting the liquid after days of deprivation. "Shizun," Li Zhameng would murmur, his voice thick with worry as he leaned closer, brushing the stray droplets from his Shizun's chin. And then—then he would close the distance, pressing his lips softly, then firmly, against Xue Laohu's. Their mouths would meld, his tongue easing the dryness of his Shizun's throat, the intimacy of the moment sending his pulse into a frenzy.
"Meng Meng." The voice in his head grew louder, pulling him deeper into his fantasy, his lips pursing as though rehearsing the imagined kiss. "Meng Meng!" The tone sharpened, cutting through the haze of his daydream. Startled, Li Zhameng blinked rapidly, his thoughts crashing back to reality as a cold hand gripped his shoulder.
Whirling around, he came face-to-face with Xue Tuzi. The sight of his martial brother's face, with its distinctly swollen lips, sent a jolt of confusion through him. "A-Tuzi?" Li Zhameng blurted, his eyes narrowing. "What happened to your mouth? It's… swollen."
Xue Tuzi frowned, his hand instinctively rising to cover his puffy lips. "Shouldn't I be asking the one asking questions first?" he mumbled, his voice muffled behind his fingers. "What exactly are you doing, here?"
Li Zhameng froze, realizing with dawning embarrassment that he had been leaning against the cave wall in a suspiciously intimate posture. His cheeks burned as he straightened, brushing imaginary dust from his robes and pointing a finger at Xue Tuzi's face. "Don't change the subject! What happened to your mouth?"
Xue Tuzi glared at him, his lips pressing into a thin line—or trying to, given their current swollen state. "I bit my tongue," he muttered defensively, still covering his mouth. "And you still haven't answered me. What were you doing here at Shizun's seclusion cave, huh?"
Li Zhameng, now thoroughly flustered, blew a puff of air upward to ruffle his bangs and leaned casually against the wall, attempting nonchalance. "I miss Shizun," he admitted softly, his voice barely above a whisper. His gaze flicked toward the dark, silent cave, its emptiness tugging at his heart. "I'm just… worried about him."
Xue Tuzi's expression softened for a moment before he rolled his eyes, exhaling loudly. "Worried, huh?" he muttered, the corner of his mouth twitching as though he wanted to smirk but thought better of it. "Well, standing here daydreaming isn't going to make him come out any faster."
Li Zhameng ignored the jab, his focus shifting back to Xue Tuzi's lips. He stepped closer, circling his martial brother with a curious glint in his eyes. "You really bit your tongue that badly? Let me see."
Xue Tuzi stiffened, his face reddening as Li Zhameng scrutinized him with the intensity of someone inspecting a rare artifact. "Is it that bad?" Xue Tuzi asked hesitantly, his words barely audible through his embarrassment.
"Hmmm," Li Zhameng mused, leaning in even closer until their noses were almost touching. He squinted, tilting his head for effect before stepping back and nodding solemnly. "Yeah, it's really bad."
Xue Tuzi's cheeks flushed, as he turned away, shielding his face from view. "Ugh," he mumbled. "Anyways, we should be training, not loitering around like this. Shizun wouldn't want us wasting time."
With that, Xue Tuzi spun on his heel and started walking, his steps purposeful despite the faint wobble in his movements. Li Zhameng watched him go, exhaling a long, wistful sigh before casting one last longing glance toward the cave. His heart felt heavy, the thought of his Shizun still hidden away in the depths of solitude weighing on his mind. Adjusting his robes, he jogged after Xue Tuzi, his thoughts still lingering on the fantasies he dared not voice aloud.
Despite his swollen mouth, which made speech difficult and every word an exercise in frustration, Xue Tuzi remained an unyielding opponent in their sparring session. The woods bore witness to his fierce determination, the rustle of leaves blending with the rhythmic clatter of blows exchanged under the fading light of the sun. Li Zhameng, drenched in sweat and utterly exhausted, was no match for Xue Tuzi's relentless precision and stamina. Xue Tuzi had refused to spar in the disciples' quarters, his swollen lips an embarrassment he didn't want to expose to prying eyes. Instead, they trained until night blanketed the sky, its shadows concealing his misery.
When the sparring was over, Xue Tuzi trudged back to his quarters, the fatigue from both training and emotional weight pressing heavily on his shoulders. His hand trembled as it reached for the doorknob, pausing momentarily before pushing the door open with more force than necessary. For a fleeting second, he half-expected Shudu to be waiting inside, his presence suffocating as always. But the room was empty, silent except for the faint creak of the broken window and the dried blood staining the floor—a grim reminder of the chaos he had yet to clean.
The door clicked shut behind him, and he leaned against it, sliding down until he was seated on the floor. His head fell into his hands, a weary sigh escaping his bruised lips. After a moment, he lit a few candles, their soft glow chasing away the oppressive darkness, and began to clean the room. As he bent to pick up the shards of broken glass, Jiao Jiao poked his tiny head out of Xue Tuzi's qiankun pouch, his round eyes glinting in the candlelight. The little Gu worm wriggled free, determined to help as he began to collect the shards with his stubby nubs.
"Xiao Jiao, be careful," Xue Tuzi said hurriedly, rushing to the Gu worm's side. His voice was tinged with concern as he gently pried the sharp piece of glass from Jiao Jiao's grasp. "The glass is sharp. Let me handle it." His movements were careful as he gathered the fragments, placing them in a basket along with the bloodied rag.
Just as Xue Tuzi moved toward the door to dispose of the debris, a familiar cold gust swept through the room. Shudu appeared, his entrance as silent and chilling as a winter wind, stepping through the shattered window. The sight of him froze Xue Tuzi in place, the basket slipping from his hands and clattering to the floor. Before their eyes could meet, Jiao Jiao was already on the attack, launching himself toward Shudu with all the fury his tiny form could muster.
The little Gu worm had not forgotten the events of the previous night. His tiny heart burned with the promise he had made to himself: to exact retribution on Shudu for Xue Tuzi's sake. Without hesitation, Jiao Jiao spit a sticky web at Shudu's face, following it up with a fierce slap of his little tail. The strikes were pitiful against Shudu's towering form, but they carried the determination of a warrior.
Shudu groaned, peeling the sticky threads off his face with an annoyed grunt. "This again?" he muttered under his breath, swatting at the Gu worm's relentless strikes. Xue Tuzi watched in stunned silence, his body tense like a frightened rabbit, unable to move or speak.
Jiao Jiao's assault didn't falter. He launched himself at Shudu's abdomen, his tiny body crashing against it with a force that was more symbolic than painful. But to Xue Tuzi's surprise, Shudu flinched, a pained grunt escaping his lips as his hand flew to his side. Crimson seeped through the fabric of his bandages, staining them like blooming petals.
"You're injured?" Xue Tuzi's voice was soft, almost a whisper, as he kept his gaze low, hiding his face behind his curtain of hair.
"It's just a scratch," Shudu replied dismissively, though the tension in his voice betrayed the truth. He straightened, attempting to maintain his usual air of dominance, but a grimace of pain lingered.
"Let me… change your bandages," Xue Tuzi said quietly, already moving toward his drawers to retrieve fresh cloths and ointment. His steps were small and hesitant, his head hanging low as if the very act of speaking to Shudu was shameful.
Normally, Xue Tuzi would have coldly dismissed him, tossing him out without a second thought. But today was different. His usual venom had softened into something dangerously sweet—an unfamiliar tenderness that compelled him to tend to Shudu's wounds. And though he fought it, he couldn't silence the treacherous desire to trace his fingers along the demon's sculpted form, each touch a silent surrender to the hunger he refused to name.
Shudu raised an eyebrow, watching Xue Tuzi with a mixture of confusion and curiosity. Meanwhile, Jiao Jiao made another valiant attempt to attack, hurling himself toward Shudu once more. This time, Shudu caught him mid-air, dangling the little Gu worm between his fingers like a misbehaving child.
"Maybe I should eat you," Shudu teased, lifting the squirming Jiao Jiao above his open mouth. The Gu worm wailed, flinging his tiny nubs and crying out for Xue Tuzi in a desperate plea for rescue.
"Enough," Xue Tuzi's voice rang out, firmer this time, drawing both their attention. He knelt by Shudu's side, his brows furrowed as he began to unwrap the bloodied bandages with meticulous care. His hands were steady despite the turmoil brewing inside him.
Shudu turned his face toward Xue Tuzi, his brows furrowing. "What happened to your mouth?" he asked, his tone laced with concern. "Did my—"
But before he could finish, Xue Tuzi's hand shot out, pressing firmly against Shudu's wound. A sharp gasp of pain escaped Shudu's lips, and he instinctively dropped Jiao Jiao, who scrambled back to Xue Tuzi's side.
"That's enough," Xue Tuzi said again, his voice softer this time as he cradled Jiao Jiao in his arms. The Gu worm nuzzled against him, his tiny head turning to hiss at Shudu with unrelenting defiance. "I'm lucky to have such a loyal little one," Xue Tuzi murmured, pressing his cheek against Jiao Jiao's, his tone filled with warmth.
Shudu watched the pair, perplexed, until realization struck him like a blade. Jiao Jiao's hostility wasn't random—it was a direct response to the previous night's events. "Hey wait," Shudu said, pulling Xue Tuzi's arm to face him.
"Hmph," Xue Tuzi cut him off, brushing him aside as he rose to his feet. He walked toward the vanity, cradling Jiao Jiao protectively in his arms.
"Are you mad?" Shudu asked hesitantly, his hand brushing over his freshly dressed wound.
"I'm not mad," Xue Tuzi replied with a sigh, his voice trembling ever so slightly. His pulse roared in his ears, his traitorous desires threatening to unravel him. With a sharp inhale, he steeled himself, summoning the familiar venom that had always been his armor. His gaze turned glacial as he sneered, each word a calculated strike—harsh, precise, meant to maim.
"I'm disappointed."
The lies tasted bitter, but he forced them out anyway, twisting them into something cruel. Shudu's expression flickered, and for a heartbeat, Xue Tuzi's chest tightened. But he couldn't falter. Wouldn't. He had to grind this weakness beneath his heel, reduce Shudu to dust—because if the demon ever glimpsed the truth festering beneath his scorn, it would destroy them both.
Shudu's heart sank. Without another word, he bolted for the window, leaping into the night. As he ran into the darkness, his fists clenched, his mind replaying Xue Tuzi's words over and over. He came to an abrupt halt, falling to his knees and slamming his fists against the ground. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," he muttered, his voice breaking into a raw scream that echoed into the void.
Back in the room, Xue Tuzi sat silently, tears streaming down his face. Jiao Jiao tried desperately to wipe them away with his little tail, but they kept falling, unrelenting like the ache in his heart.
Blah Blah Blah:
Not sure if it's obvious but I have a thing for piercings. Originally I wanted to give Xue Tuzi many piercing but a lot of them made no sense given the setting. I settled on nipple piercings [hot] and a tongue piercing. But if I could I would have given him a navel piercing that connected to his genitals and then blame it on Lord Chanchu for being a lecherous pervert. But alas it is I who is the lecherous pervert.