I am Racist.


…

I mean, my name is Racis T.

I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.

One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.

That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.

Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.

But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.

All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.

Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.

But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.

Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.

Because, well—there was an afterlife.

And it was absolutely not what I wished for.
——— ——— ———
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I gave a hardcore motivational speech to Supreme Man.


I mean for someone who says a joke in every third sentence, this is a big achievement for me.


Right now, I feel like that one time when I motivated a man to run instead of sitting on his chair all day. But I was arrested right after that. Apparently, motivating disabled people to run is a crime.


Nevertheless, the Supreme Man wasn't disabled. He was a God. Not the best kind but he was a God anyway. And all I told him to stop acting like someone else and be yourself.


And now I am waiting for his response. Which was:


"I stole no lines. All of that was original!"


"No way you came up with all that. You definitely heard it from a guy from your insta feed who tries to sell courses after giving such speeches."


"I am that Guy! I used to sell my courses this way."


"You did? What type of courses? What you shouldn't do in your life?"


Chapter 99 - That Mountain Looks Like My Crotch