Chapter 59: BATTLE OF THE RANK 5s
WHITE-BROW ELDERLY'S VILLAIN SPEECH (IT'S GIVING MALDING BACKSTORY)
Lord Sky Crane (white-brow sigma):
Holds up KINSHIP BLOODWORM GU (š made from First Gen's SONS' HEART BLOOD).
"I SPENT DECADES SIPPING YOUR KIDS LIKE CAPRI SUNS TO FIND YOU!"
"REMEMBER THE RIGHTEOUS TWIN CRANES? WE WERE HIMā¦ UNTIL YOU STOLE MY BLOOD SEA ANCESTOR TREASURE!"
First Gen Gu Yue (blood wight mode):Ā "ā¦skill issue."
BATTLE OF THE RANK 5s (IT'S GIVING ANIME FINAL FIGHT)
First Gen's Moves:
BLOOD GUILLOTINES (š raining like Fortnite loot).
BLADEWING BLOOD BATS (sky full of edgelords).
BLOOD RIVER PYTHON (still glitching from Tie Xue Leng fight).
Lord Sky Crane's Counter:
MYRIAD BEAST KING CRANE (absolute unit).
LIGHT BARRIER GU (blocks blood mist like a sigma).
RAISE EYEBROWS & EXHALE GU (š PRIMEVAL ESSENCE DRAIN).
Raise Eyebrows & Exhale Gu Mechanics:
CONNECTS THEIR APERTURES.
DRAINS PRIMEVAL ESSENCE FROM BOTH.
First Gen's WEAKNESS? ZOMBIE APERTURE CAN'T RECOVER.
First Gen (panicking):Ā "FUCK. THIS GU IS CRACKED."
Lord Sky Crane (malding):Ā "DIE SLOWLY LIKE YOU MADE ME SUFFER!"
TWITCH CHAT REACTS:
š„Ā "FIRST GEN GETTING THE ELDEN RING BOSS TREATMENT"
šĀ "LORD SKY CRANE'S GRUDGE HOLDER ARC IS PEAK"
š¶ļøĀ "FANG YUAN PROBABLY LOOTING BODIES WHILE THEY FIGHT"
SKY CRANE LORD'S MALDING ARC (RANK 5 AOE SPAM)
FEATHER ARROW RAIN:Ā Insta-gibs dozens of Gu Masters.
EYE LASER BEAMS:Ā Melts buildings like butter.
CASUALTIES?Ā šššĀ "JUST A TUESDAY."
Fang Yuan (sigma grindset):Ā Grabs nearby NPC as human shield.Ā "SKILL ISSUE."
Bai Ning Bing (healing through sheer rage):Ā "I'M NOT DYING TODAY."
FIRST GEN GU YUE GETS CLAPPED (TIE XUE LENG'S REVENGE)
DEMON SUPPRESSION IRON CHAIN GU:
Binds First Gen's body AND aperture.
Phantom chains inside his primeval sea?Ā "GG NO RE."
PROBLEM NIPPED IN THE BUD GU:
Starts YOINKING Gu worms out of First Gen's body.
First extracted Gu?Ā BLOOD SKULL GU (š child skull with blood veins).
Sky Crane Lord (cackling):Ā "AFTER 500 YEARSā¦ MY GU IS BACK!"
First Gen Gu Yue (coping):Ā "I WOULD'VE SENSED THIS IF I WASN'T A ZOMBIEā¦"
FANG YUAN'S 500 IQ PLAY (TEAMING WITH THE LOSING SIDE)
Situation:
Escape?Ā Impossible (cranes patrol the skies).
Fight Sky Crane Lord?Ā Suicide.
Bet on First Gen?Ā Riskyā¦ butĀ POTENTIAL LOOT.
Decision:Ā "TIME TO CARRY."
Grabs the white eyebrows (Raise Eyebrows & Exhale Gu).
Primeval essence drains FASTā¦ but he's got HEAVENLY ESSENCE TREASURE LOTUS.
Shouts:Ā "IF FIRST GEN DIES, WE ALL DIE! COPE HARDER!"
Result:
Gu Masters swarm to help (copium overdose).
Bai Ning Bing joins (for the vibes).
Xiong Jiao Man? Still alive somehow.
Fang Zheng? Missing (probably farming mobs off-screen).
FIRST GEN GU YUE'S COMEBACK ARC (IT'S GIVING VILLAIN MONOLOGUE)
YIN YANG ROTATION GU (Rank 4 Taiji ball):Ā Gets yoinked by Problem Nipped in the Bud Gu.
BLOOD CURTAIN SKYFLOWER GU (Rank 5 shield):Ā Activates after being destroyed (š big brain play).
EFFECT:
Blocks ALL attacks (even Rank 5).
First Gen can LEAVE (but others can't).
Sky Crane Lord? MALDING OUTSIDE.
First Gen (laughing like a final boss):Ā "JUNIOR BROTHER, KEEP HITTING IT! I'LL BE BACK~"
Sky Crane Lord (realizing):Ā "FUCK. IT'S A TIMED SHIELD."
PRIMEVAL STONE BUFFET (FANG YUAN'S 500 IQ MOVE)
First Gen:Ā "FEED ME PRIMEVAL STONES!"
Gu Masters (simping):Ā "HERE, TAKE ALL OUR STONES, KING!"
Sky Crane Lord (warning):Ā "HE'S GONNA KILL YOU ALL AFTER!"
Gu Masters:Ā "L + RATIO + CRINGE + NO BITCHES"
Fang Yuan (quietly backing away):Ā "These NPCs are COOKED."
BLOOD SKULL GU'S ULTIMATE MOVE (APTITUDE UPGRADE UNLOCKED)
First GenĀ MASSACRESĀ the Gu Masters (including his own clan).
BLOOD SKULL GU:
Drinks their blood like Capri Suns.
Overflows with power (glowing red).
Activates BLOOD FOUNTAIN (washes First Gen).
First Gen (screaming):Ā "MY APTITUDEā¦ IT'S EVOLVING!!"
Sky Crane Lord: "GIVE BACK MY FUCKING BLOOD SKULL GU PLEASE!!!"