Malrik's POV
After Saji and Issei's little slap-fight was resolved by Koneko's fists of peace, things quieted down in the Occult Research Club—well, for about five minutes.
We were all just standing around. Asia sat beside Aika, the two quietly chatting. I was sipping tea Akeno had brought, wondering how she managed to make even that a tease.
That's when Rias spoke up, ever so casually.
"We'll be heading to the Familiar Forest soon. Issei needs a proper familiar."
Issei perked up. "Wait, really? I get a monster pet?!"
Kiba smirked. "More like it'll end up being a perverted flying lizard."
Issei gasped. "Hey, that would be perfect!"
Sona, who had been sipping from a teacup, blinked at Rias. "You're going to the Familiar Forest?"
"Yes," Rias replied with a small nod. "Why?"
Sona adjusted her glasses, her tone sharpening just slightly. "Because I was planning to go this weekend as well. Saji haven't gotten his yet."
Rias tilted her head slightly, eyes narrowing just enough. "Oh? Isn't it a bit early for you to take them?"
Sona smiled politely—dangerously. "And isn't it a bit late for Issei?"
The temperature in the room dropped a few degrees.
Kiba and Tsubaki exchanged glances. Koneko nibbled on a snack silently. Aika whispered, "Uh oh, boss fight music's starting."
Rias crossed her arms. "I already informed the forest keepers we'd be coming."
"So did I," Sona replied, matching her pose. "Seems we have a scheduling issue."
I sipped my tea, very slowly.
Issei looked between them. "Uhh, can't we go together?"
Both girls turned their heads toward him in perfect sync.
"No," they said flatly.
Issei shrank in place.
Rias turned back to Sona. "We'll just have to decide this the usual way."
Sona adjusted her glasses, that calculating glint in her eyes. "Agreed. A contest?"
"A contest," Rias echoed.
Akeno chuckled. "This brings back memories."
Aika leaned toward me. "Wait, is this a thing?"
"More than you know," I replied, amused.
Rias and Sona stood facing each other like they were preparing for a chess match with explosions.
Tsubaki sighed. "Here we go again."
Akeno clapped her hands. "What shall the game be this time?"
Sona considered. "Something physical. Fair."
Rias smirked. "Then we'll settle it… with dodgeball."
Everyone stared.
"…Dodgeball?" I repeated.
Issei cheered. "Yes! I'm good at that!"
Aika deadpanned. "You always get hit first."
Rias extended her hand to Sona. "Winner gets the weekend slot in the Familiar Forest."
Sona took it. "Deal."
As they shook hands, I could practically feel the universe shudder.
This wasn't just about familiars anymore.
This… was war.
———
Just as tension hit its peak and both Peerages were about to start summoning spirit balls and war cries for a full-out dodgeball war, I raised a hand.
"Wait."
Everyone turned to me like I'd just paused their favorite anime at the climax.
I took a sip of my tea and leaned casually against the window. "You know… I could help you all find familiars."
Rias blinked. "You mean…?"
Sona crossed her arms. "You might not know this, but finding a familiar isn't as simple as picking one off a shelf."
I shrugged. "I didn't say it was. But I've got a plan."
Truth was, I'd already been thinking about it.
There was a lightning dragon nestled in the Familiar Forest. A young, volatile thing—perfect for Asia, especially with her Sacred Gear. And if I was going all the way out there, I could help Rias and Sona's Peerages while I was at it.
Efficient and dramatic. My two favorite things.
Rias looked intrigued now. "You really think you can help us all find suitable familiars?"
"Yup."
Akeno tilted her head, smiling. "Ara~ You certainly are full of surprises, Malrik-kun."
Aika snorted. "He says that while planning to tame a dragon. So casual."
Issei raised a hand slowly. "Uh… can I still get something cool? Like a wyvern or a slime that turns into a girl?"
Everyone ignored him.
Saji, still rubbing his sore ego after being thoroughly ignored during introductions, scoffed. "And I suppose you'll just lead us through the most dangerous parts of the forest like it's no big deal?"
I smiled at him, slow and lazy. "Exactly."
Sona shot Saji a side-glance, silently telling him to shut up.
"Fine," Rias said at last. "We'll do it your way."
Sona nodded after a moment's thought. "If you're confident, I see no reason to argue."
With that, the dodgeball battle was officially canceled, replaced by something much more chaotic: a joint expedition into the Familiar Forest—with me as the guide.
I could already imagine the trouble brewing.