"So this thing is that cake I've heard so much about?" Elizabeth, still in full plate armor, asked while sitting in an upscale cafe, looking at a slice of strawberry cake sitting on the table in front of her. Her eyes gleamed with excitement. "Can we really have this?"
"You either eat it or I'm throwing it away." I said, while calmly pouring some unnamed expensive poison into my tea. "Besides…" I gestured to Lilia, who was already eating. "She might just eat all of it, if you're not quick enough."
Elizabeth sliced off a piece with her fork, stabbed it and slowly lifted it towards her mouth. The expression of joy on her face was that of a fantasy medieval slave tasting a strawberry cake for the first time. Yes, how very descriptive, I know. After she finished her slice, it was evident that one slice wasn't enough.
"You girls want seconds?" I asked, sipping tea, poisonous enough to down an entire village.
"Yes, please!" Lilia answered.
"No, that's quite enough, this cake thing must be expensive to be this good." Elizabeth reprimanded her sister. "One slice is already far more than enough."
"Relax, money isn't an issue. As long as you girls are with me, you might as well squeeze me dry, or at least try to. I'm curious about how long it would take me to go broke, so please indulge me."
"Well, if it's really okay, then can we have a few more slices?" Elizabeth asked.
"Sure, go for as many as you want." I turned to the beast man waiter. "Bring me two slices of every cake you have." I was given a death glare. I almost forgot that I - a human - am sitting in a beast men cafe. "Be a good lad and don't spit on the cake, it's not for me, but for these girls." I pointed to the cat girls. He nodded slightly. I was about to take another sip of my tea. I wonder how much spit and other bodily fluids is in my tea though? I sniffed it. Better not to think about it… I took a sip. If I don't know whether there is something in my tea or not, I can assume that it is and isn't at the same time. I call it the Schrodinger's spit.
We were brought twenty slices of cake - an overwhelming amount for two people. "Sir Adam, pick the ones you want and we'll take the rest." Elizabeth said.
"Sorry, girls, but I don't eat cake. All of this is for you, please amuse me with your struggles."
"What? There's no way that we could eat all of this ourselves, you must return it!" Elizabeth protested.
"This place has a strict no return policy, meaning that if you two won't eat it, it will all go to the pigs. You wouldn't want to waste food, now would you?" My mask hid a villainous smile.
"Still, this is…"
"Start eating."
"...You're evil."
"Is this what I get for buying you cake? I might just get offended…"
The two cat girls struggled. The absurd amount seemed far too much, but their upbringing in a place where food was scarce, forced them to eat it all, not wasting a crumb. Finally, after finishing the last bite, Elizabeth groaned, looked at me and asked. "I was meaning to ask, is that thing that you always pour into your food and drink a strengthening potion? Is that why you're so strong?"
"Well, it is a potion in some sense, but its effect is probably opposite that of a strengthening potion…"
"What does that mean?"
"You know the saying 'pick your poison' right? It's poison. Literally poison."
"Is… There a health reason for drinking it? I've heard that some poisons, in small quantities, are beneficial if ingested."
"Oh yeah, it's beneficial, alright." I answered. "It makes me as high as a kite and hazes the mind hard enough so that I don't remember all the bad stuff. Honestly, I might have ended it a few times already, if I hadn't had it."
"That's…"
"Nothing you can do about it, so don't worry. I got accustomed to this way of living a while ago. I might be a miserable piece of shit that enjoys torturing everyone around me in fun and exciting ways, but as long as I have this…" I gestured at the flask with my 'medicine' on the table. "I'll be fine." A heavy silence filled the room. "Why the grim faces? Do you, girls, still want cake?"
"N-no, please, no more!" Elizabeth pleaded.
"Fine…" I looked through the mosaic window. The sun was already setting. "It's getting late, let's find an inn that doesn't discriminate against humans, or one that, at least, isn't openly hostile to me."
Being here, I understand how it must feel for a beast man to exist in the Chelyan kingdom. Every town, every village that we pass through, I am greeted with the same sour faces and passive aggressive, or sometimes straight up aggressive, attitude. If I wasn't so enamored with their ears and tails, I might have treated them as humans that displeased me in some way or another.
As always, it took a while to find an inn. Having a beast man on my side always makes the negotiations in the Zagria kingdom easier. I've learned to leave the talking to Lilia, her tiny frame, red hair and emerald green eyes always elicit sympathy from the innkeepers. The gold that she carries does its part as well, but it's mostly her adorableness.
The inn we found for that night wasn't anything fancy. It's funny how much it cost, though. Human tax, I guess. While there were only a few rats and a couple dozen cockroaches, the interior was simple, old, worn out furniture cluttered the room, the bed was broken, the chair had three out of four legs. There were holes in the walls, no plumbing, so I could forget about a bath. Hell, I had to take a shit in an outhouse that smelled like death.
I was pretty sure that some unfortunate tenant had actually died and fell into the hole and his rotting body filled the whole outhouse with that putrid smell. By the time I was done, I was dizzy from the smell and vowing never to go inside one of those death buildings ever again. Overall 4/10 wouldn't recommend.
When I walked out of it, I caught some amused glances from other residents and the innkeeper, making me believe that this house of horrors was exclusively left for humans and that I got fucked over. For a moment I thought about making myself a nice winter scarf out of the innkeeper's tail, but restrained myself at the last moment, reasoning that winter was still too far away.
After the 'experience', I went back to my room and plopped into bed, completely drained. I was about to fall asleep, when I heard knocking at the door. I groaned, rubbed my eyes, stood up and opened the door. "Sigh, what do you want now, Elizabeth?"
"I just wanted to…" She peered into my room. "What happened here?"
"What do you mean? Nothing out of the ordinary." It hit me. "Wait, is your room different?"
"Yes, it's very nice in fact. Would you like to come and see?"
"You're inviting a man to the room of two damsels? Are you sure about that?" I jested.
"You haven't done anything to us up until now, besides, Lilia is still a child and I…" She blushed and lowered her gaze. "Wouldn't mind…"
"Sorry, what?"
"Never mind! Are you coming or not?!"
"Yeah, I'd rather be anywhere but here, let's go."
The innkeeper did fuck me over, I knew it. The girl's room wasn't fancy, but it was well furnished, there were no holes in the walls, nor any cockroaches or rats to be seen. I sighed, trying my best to suppress my wrath. "Well, Liz, what did you want from me?" I asked.
"The innkeeper, she gave me these…" She took out a deck of cards and showed them to me. "She said that it's a game that me and my sister could play on the road. Would you like to join us for a game or two now?"
I took the cards and spread them out to see. They looked like slightly modified cards from my world, the key difference being that there were eight suits - corresponding to the eight types of magic in this world, ten cards in each suit ranging from 1 to 9 in numbers and one card in each suit - the tenth card had the picture of a 'true dragon' on it. There were also cards that symbolized the 'greater dragons', those cards had two suits at the same time, there was one for each possible combination of suits.
I looked at the girls, they were looking at me intently. "Let me guess, the innkeeper didn't teach you how to play, right?" Elizabeth shook her head. I sighed, then took 40 cards out of the deck - four suits of ten. "The game I'm about to teach you is a slightly modified version of a game from my world. It's called 'Durak'.
We played for hours on end, the girls were thoroughly fascinated by the simple yet strategic game. At first, they would allow me to win and just fight for second place. I had to inform them that I wasn't a child that had to win in order to be happy, then they took it seriously. Those little #%%!@#&** actually started working together in order to take the win, when the excitement hit, they abandoned all courtesy towards me and started cheating when they thought that I wasn't looking, by peeking at my cards. It was fun, infuriating, but very fun.
The next day I left at dawn. I didn't abandon them, I left a message for them through the innkeeper that I'd be back in a few days with the thing that I talked about in the past, so they should stay put and wait.
_________________________________________________________________________
A day or so later, on an undisclosed mountain in the kingdom of Zagria, in a cave, I stood before a 'Dragon' with pink scales. The 'Dragon' wasn't as big as a 'True dragon', but it was far larger than a 'Lesser dragon' that I hunted down with the 'Wolf's fang's' members. You could feel the immense mana radiating from the beast - mana as intense as that of a 'Leviathan' - the mana of a 'Greater dragon'.
"You actually dare to step into my domain, foolish human? Tell me, is it bravery, stupidity or a death wish?" The 'Dragon' spoke, its voice arrogant and mocking.
I smiled. "You'll do fine…"
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