Amegakure Village's Angel: Isn't this mission... a little too much?
Curly-haired Guy: A little? You call this just a little? What kind of guy wears leggings? This is basically as hard as shoving a watermelon into your nostril! It's just impossible!
This is an Actor: So, are you giving up?
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: You'll go bald if you fail.
Doujin Artist: No, "bald" doesn't mean completely bald. Balding is more like... you know, that horseshoe look?
Shark-Faced_Guy: At least you'd still have some hair then.
Curly-haired Guy: Yeah, at least a little... Like hell! I'd rather be completely bald than look like one of those weird old guys with hair just around the sides!
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: But the forced balding only lasts ten days. If you go fully bald, who knows how long it'll take for your hair to grow back?
This is an Actor: You could just wear a wig.
Doujin Artist: Honestly, not a bad idea.
Curly-haired Guy: No way! Gintoki will *never* wear a wig! A real man never wears a wig!
Amegakure Village's Angel: So you're choosing to go completely bald?
Curly-haired Guy: No, I'll complete the mission!
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: ?
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: ?
Doujin Artist: Calm down, you're still in jail.
Curly-haired Guy: Exactly! That's why I don't feel guilty about robbing these lowlifes. And more importantly, it's 1000 points! My dream of ruling the multiverse starts with this thousand!
Shark-Faced_Guy: So after all that talk, you just don't want to lose the points?
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: Even so, no guy is gonna be wearing leggings. Especially not in prison.
Curly-haired Guy: They will!
Cafeteria, prison.
Gintoki stood up from his seat, head down. The shadow across his face made him look a little scary.
He slowly walked to the center of the cafeteria and stopped next to a group of big guys.
"Hey, you're that Bloody Ogre, right? The guy who can get crazy stuff even inside prison? Help me out."
"Huh? Who the hell are you?"
"You've got some nerve talking to our boss like that!"
Before the tattooed man called Bloody Ogre could speak, two of his goons slammed their hands on the table and stood up. They even clicked their tongues like classic yakuza.
Ignoring them, Gintoki kept his hands in his pockets and slowly lifted his right leg.
Thud. Thud.
Two heavy, dull thumps.
血stained Devil's two goons were sent flying, crashing hard onto the tables behind them. Food scattered everywhere.
Silence.
The whole cafeteria instantly fell quiet. Even the prison guards who had been rushing over froze where they stood.
This guy's brutal!
That silver-haired guy was seriously dangerous! Two men, each weighing over 160 pounds, and he just kicked them more than ten meters away.
*Thud.*
Sakata Gintoki rested his right hand on the Bloodstained Devil's shoulder and said softly, "I'm guessing you won't say no to me, right?"
Bloodstained Devil's mouth twitched. Cold sweat ran down his face. It wasn't just fear—he was also in real pain.
This silver-haired guy didn't look that strong, but his grip was crazy powerful, like he was about to crush his shoulder blade.
Humiliation. Bloodstained Devil felt humiliated.
Back in Edo's underworld, he was a big name. Even after getting locked up, the warden still had to treat him with respect. But this silver-haired bastard dared to treat him like this! How could he just swallow it?
Bloodstained Devil gritted his teeth hard and shouted, "P-please tell me what you want!"
What else could he do? This guy was oozing such a terrifying killing intent, and he didn't want to die.
"Leggings," Gintoki said with a straight face and a cold voice. "I want to see ten pairs of leggings by two in the afternoon. Also, get some stockings too."
After saying that, he turned around and walked away.
Bloodstained Devil stood there, mouth wide open, staring blankly at his fading figure, looking completely lost.
[Tip: Curly-haired Guy recovered part of his memories from *Gintama*]
Curly-haired Guy: All set. Should have the results by this afternoon. Heh heh hahahaha, one thousand points! My one thousand points!
Skirt-Flipping Maniac: There was actually a method like this?
Doujin Artist: I give your threat full marks.
But seriously, you're gonna be seen as a total creep after this. Judging from the Bloodstained Devil's face, he already thinks you're a pervert!
Curly-haired Guy: You're still too young, little A-Li.
As they say, you can't catch a wolf without risking your own child. If you care too much about saving face, you'll never achieve anything big.
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: This isn't about caring too much. You've just completely lost your shame.
Doujin Artist: Honestly, if being like you is the price, I'd rather stay small forever.
Curly-haired Guy: Hmph, then just stand there and watch me rack up all the points. How sad. Weaklings like you will never get anything.
This world, in the end, belongs to the strong! Hahahahaha!
Doujin Artist: Just like Anzen-san predicted, you're totally letting success get to your head.
Amegakure Village's Angel: Sorry to crush your dreams, Gin-san, but it's not like we get nothing.
Curly-haired Guy: Hah? What's that supposed to mean?
Gintoki suddenly had a really bad feeling.
Scarlet Lotus Fairy: The basic reward.
As long as the group mission is completed, everyone in the group gets it.
You, the one who did the work, just get double.
Doujin Artist: If you think about it another way, it's like you're working for us and we're paying you.
Feeling good, worker boy?
This is an Actor: Oh, and by the way, the group leader gets four times the basic reward, no matter who finishes the job.
Curly-haired Guy: Crap!
Unable to hold back, Sakata Gintoki cursed out loud, his mind collapsing as a thousand grass-mud horses stampeded through his heart.
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