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I'll Just Procrastinate Everything

x2000reborn
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Synopsis
"I have trash talent? Really? Then I'll just have to procrastinate my low talent!" "Hm? I've died and I have to reincarnate? I'll do it later!" "I'll just procrastinate everything!" Watch as Fang Ling lazes his way through literally everything, even his suffering! That's right! "Suffering? I'll just procrastinate it, preferably until death—yeah, that's the whole idea." "I've offended a divine being? What do you expect me to do? Fight him? Nah, I'll just meet him later... or better yet, never..." ———————————————————————————————————————— With this cheat code, watch how Fang Ling rises to greatness and glory—and then proceeds to procrastinate his greatness and glory! Read now! ———————————————————————————————————————— What to expect: -Pure Mind Candy: Absolutely no filler scenes or anything, prepare for dopamine hits on every single chapter. -A lazy and inconsiderate protagonist: Imagine reading a novel where the mc sacrifices his life for every single thing, infuriating, right? Well you won't find that in this novel. -FAST PACED AS FUCK: Adding onto the Pure Mind Candy, watch how within 5 chapters, you'll go from a mortal fatty fighting for his life, to seven immortal buddhas declaring him king. -Gary Stu MC: How can you have Pure Mind Candy if your protagonist's name isn't Gary Stu? Impossible, right!? -Comedy so boisterous and brazen that even the heavens would bow their heads in anger: Prepare to be... enlightened. -NO BULLSHIT: Fuck a side character's side story!!! -Ascending to the realm of brain death: Maybe. ———————————————————————————————————————— What NOT to expect: -Romance or Harem: Fuck no! -Emotional scenes: Pure action baby! -Shitty power-scale: Fuck a universe then call a celestial your baby, there is no boulder-splitting martial arts here, only galaxy snorting cultivation techniques!!! ———————————————————————————————————————— TL;DR: READ THIS SHIT RIGHTTTT NOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!... Or procrastinate it...
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Chapter 1 - I'll Just Do It Later...

Fang Ling opened his eyes,

Then closed them again...

"Nah." He mutters, eyes still shut, "Too bright."

Thus began his journey... of not doing anything.

"Fang Ling!" A voice from outside sounded.

Harsh, grating, boisterous, a voice with all the bad traits.

BOOM

An explosion sounds from outside, but Fang Ling doesn't flinch, he continues sleeping under a cherry blossom tree. Actually, his reaction to the explosion was to just flip sides.

"Fang Ling, you fucker, come here!"

BOOOM. CRASH!

Now, not only was there an explosion, there was also a crash of some sorts.

"Fang Ling, I swear to the heavens above, if you do not come here... let's just say even the seven evils would hold something against me!"

Fang Ling still doesn't move. He never does, he had been napping under this cherry blossom tree for about a hundred years.

"Great, great, this old monster sees how it is, heh, disrespecting me? How bold!"

BOOOOM!

After one last explosion, an old man appears carrying a wooden staff, his appearance is very roguish. With an overgrown white beard, ripped-apart robes, and a shiny bald head.

"Ohhh, I see how it is, yes, Fang Ling! You must consider sleeping more worthy than this old man! Am I right?" He asks, stepping a little closer while using the wooden staff to help him walk.

"BOY!" He rages, sending a translucent red one-hundred foot palm from the sky raging towards the sleeping Fang Ling.

"Descending Havoc! From Below, Please Take Him To The Underworld. From Above, Please Send Him Heavenly Punishment! Attacking With Serenity, Peaceful Palm!" His eyes glow red, cackling as the palm above mirrors his own movements, of him lifting his arm up and pushing his palm down.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHH

Booming winds accompany the palm heading toward Fang Ling. Not only that, clouds around disperse as they seemingly bow down to it.

Through all this, Fang Ling remains sleeping, he even smiles to himself, seemingly having a blissful dream, unaware of his end above.

The palm continues falling, before striking Fang Ling.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

The palm hits the ground, sending dirt and trees flying everywhere as a huge imprint burning with red flames appears. In the middle of this huge imprint, a small bloodstain remains. And on top of the bloodstain, is a single cherry blossom.

After the smoke clears, the old man smirks. "That is what you get for ignoring me. Death." He spits on the ground, before turning around to enter his hut.

And that is, the death of Fang Ling.