I have the strange feeling that this is like summer break.
Maybe it's psychological.
After all, I'd been thinking about summer break on the day I was abducted. So it's not impossible I'm still subconsciously thinking of it now. We're getting closer to the day for the mission, which means getting closer to the time when we'll get home.
It's probably nowhere near actual summer break.
If Mia's time keeping is right, we'll actually be getting home around Christmas. Assuming the ship travels that fast, anyway.
But...we got here quickly, so. It probably does.
Still. There's something to it, the idea of being free and yet not free.
Like summer vacation. When we've broken out of school but haven't escaped all our responsibilities.
Only, in this case the end of the vacation should be a good thing: getting back home.
The alternative...
I don't want to think about it.
I can't.
If I keep focusing only on the idea that something will go wrong, I won't be able to react right when something goes wrong. As ridiculous as that sounds, I'm sure that I'm right all the same.
So. I have to stop.
I sigh.
It's...hard to get used to not having a routine, I guess.
I'd been looking forward to summer vacation, and then it was snatched away, replaced with an endless cycle of learning to be a better slave.
Or...
Whatever it was they were trying to teach us.
Despite being here over a year, working on two, I don't feel like I'm any better as a slave than before. Not psychologically or physically.
So...whatever.
Slavery is still the best answer I've ever heard to why we're even here. I mean. What else could they possibly want humans for that doesn't amount to slavery? Maybe some other reason would have been a good answer back on Earth. Now...after so much time being here and being taught things and trained to follow commands, the only explanation is that we are to be slaves.
And...I guess it doesn't really matter what they wanted us for anyway.
What matters is getting out of here. Getting away, and going home.
And not looking back.
I don't ever want to be here again.
I don't ever want to know what they wanted from us.
I don't ever want to feel that fear again, or see Mia looking as terrified and worried as she did when we first arrived. Or Hestia looking sad and lost and lonely like when I first saw her in our room.
Or Eric looking....
He kind of always looks the same, actually. Grumpy. Grumbly. Angry.
But also...kind, under the surface. A lot of anger and bitterness there.
But also a kind person.
Not that I'm any kind of expert on hidden depths or anything.
But.
His depths bubble up to the surface sometimes, so...
Maybe I do have a little experience seeing them. At least enough to know what I'm looking for.
Mia is humming a song that I vaguely recognize from her room as a neighbor.
Now that I think about it, it's that one song she keeps singing. I still don't know what it is - chances are, I never have, even on Earth. If she ever remembers the words to the song - or which song she's singing - maybe she can share it we me back on Earth.
...If we see each other at all.
No, no.
Eric was a bit of a downer about that talking about it before but...the internet exists. We'll keep in contact even if we can't afford to cross the country to see each other like now. And really, as much as I like Eric and Mia, I guess there's something to be said about spending time away from them, too.
Though it's weird to think about.
I haven't spent every waking moment with them, of course, but in the back of my mind it feels like it.
And...
Now, for these two months, I've been making friends.
Not just with Eric, Mia, and Hestia now.
It was hard to try to connect to the other prisoners in the camp. Maybe because most of them juts weren't outgoing like Mia. Maybe because it was a fluke I managed a friendship with even them under those circumstances.
But now there's Peter and Anna and Ivan and Sinead, and the others.
I strangely...
Feel even more like I belong here than I ever have before, not just on this world but back home, too.
...I wonder. If we'll do reunions. Like with schools.
Anna sits next to me and holds out a clay cup. It smells of the kind of stuff that they give us to drink. The stuff that apparently has all the nutrients and whatever that our body needs.
Basically, it's daily vitamins in a warm smoothie form.
"Thanks."
She grins.
"So." She leans forward, chin resting on her hand. "What are you gonna do when you're back on Earth, Sarah?"
My brows knit.
"...I don't know. Go to school, I guess?" I sigh. "...Well, no. That's not what I'm gonna do. I missed graduating, but...I don't want to back, for a whole year for that"
She hums and smiles. "Yeah? What are you gonna do, then?"
"I...don't know." I shake my head. "Take some classes? Get a job?"
"Ah...a job...." Anna huffs, as if I've brought down her whole mood somehow.
I squint at her.
"Did you not like your job, Anna?"
"Absolutely loathed it. Terrible boss. Bad coworkers. Just...all around bad situation." She laughs and shakes her head. "Take it back any day now, though."
I hum.
I guess it's true. I never really thought about it, but this place does mean dodging normal responsibilities.
Despite that, though.
Here I am running back into the arms of responsibility.
After all.
No matter what, home is better than this place.
...Not the resistance headquarters - though...maybe. a bit. But being a captive...there's no way I can pretty that up.
Anna finishes her drink and sits back in her chair. "You don't have to answer me any better if you don't have an answer now. But it's a good idea you know before we get home."
I blink.
I guess...she's right.
After all. I'm probably going to have far less time to myself once we finally do get back. Good or bad. I might as well be prepared.