"Young Lady. Are they still at it?"
Mui limped into the central plaza of Hozuki Castle, leaning on a crutch with one hand and the arm of a jailer with the other. Thick bandages were wrapped around his chest as he approached Karin, who was perched on a stone stool, swinging her small feet.
Resting her chin in her hands, she sighed. "They're still going at it, Uncle Mui."
"I see." Mui nodded and turned to one of his men. "Prepare dinner for the young lady."
"Yes, Mui-sama!"
From high above, the relentless sound of explosions and impacts echoed across the castle grounds. It had been three days since Mui activated the Box of Ultimate Bliss. Three days since Naruto discovered Satori's near-immortality and decided to use it for non-stop training.
Though some might have called it a fight, it was more like a one-sided beating. Satori was completely outmatched in strength, speed, and every one of its special abilities. The only blows it ever landed were the ones Naruto allowed, just to have a sparring partner.
Just then, a sharp whistle cut through the air.
Looking up, they saw a fiery red meteor streak across the sky, arcing down toward the castle.
*THUMP!*
It slammed into the ground with enough force to shake the entire fortress, gouging yet another crater into the already scarred earth. The plaza now looked as pitted and uneven as the moon's surface.
"Now that was a satisfying fight." Naruto's voice carried on the wind as he slowly descended, not a scratch on him. "No wonder Goku-sensei always said actual combat is the fastest way to get stronger."
"Uzumaki-nii!" Karin cried out, her face lighting up.
Naruto gave her a nod before walking toward the fresh crater. "Get up. I know you're not done yet. With that healing of yours, this is nothing. Let's go again!"
*ROAR!* A furious roar erupted from the smoking pit. Satori rose, its entire body pulsing with a black aura. Its massive mouth, taking up half its body, gaped open in a scream.
Satori's Berserk State.
'Here we go again!' Naruto thought, planting his feet and gathering power in his legs, ready to meet the charge with another solid punch.
But Satori didn't charge. It didn't even look at him. It turned and fled.
'So that's why I couldn't read its thoughts,' Naruto realized. 'It wasn't thinking about fighting, just running.'
"You think you can just run away after picking a fight with me?" Naruto blinked, then pushed off the ground, rocketing after the creature. "Stop!"
'Only a fool would stop!' Satori's speed increased even further. 'Three days! A full three days of this!' it railed internally. 'Beaten day and night, without mercy, for three whole days! Even if I were made of iron, I couldn't endure this torture. My body might be nearly immortal, but that doesn't mean I don't feel pain! What about me? Don't I have any rights? Am I just destined to be beaten as a monster? Why?! If I had eyes, I'd be crying from sheer grievance right now.'
'I don't want to be out here anymore! I want to go back!'
Fueled by an unprecedented will to survive, Satori actually managed to match Naruto's speed for a fleeting moment. Before he could grab it, the monster dissolved into a puff of black smoke with a *whoosh* and dove straight into the Box of Ultimate Bliss.
The open door of the box slammed shut with a heavy *CLANG*. The other three sides, which had also been open, sealed themselves instantly, as if terrified Naruto would follow Satori inside.
Naruto skidded to a halt in front of it, rolling up his sleeves.
"Hey! Open up! You had the guts to run out, now have the guts to open the door!" he yelled, smacking the side of the box. "Don't just hide in there and stay quiet. I know you're home! What kind of monster are you?! Where's your hatred for humanity? How will you destroy humans by being inside? Open up!?"
The slaps made the entire box, no, the entire castle, tremble. Mui's eyelids twitched uncontrollably.
'Satori was a monster,' he thought, 'but this kid… he's something more entirely.'
"It's rude to think bad things about people, Mui-san," Naruto called out without turning around.
Mui flinched and immediately stared up at the sky, trying his best to think about nothing at all.
No matter how hard Naruto hit it, the box remained stubbornly shut. The ominous red light and swirling black aura were gone. It just sat there, looking like an ugly, ordinary container, all of its former arrogance and destructive presence vanished.
'Should I just smash it open and see what happens?' The thought flashed through Naruto's mind, and without a second's hesitation, he acted on it. He raised his fist, channeling Ki into it, and brought it down with his full strength.
*CLANG!*
The shockwave from the impact was so powerful that everyone in Hozuki Castle clamped their hands over their ears, a painful ringing echoing in their heads.
*Crack…*
A faint fissure appeared on the surface where Naruto's fist had landed. For the first time in its thousand-year history, the Box of Ultimate Bliss, a weapon that had withstood countless attacks without a scratch, was damaged.
*Buzz!*
The box flared to life again, glowing with an eerie red light as black gas seeped from its four sides. It began to tremble violently.
"Still want to be stubborn?" Naruto growled, rolling up his sleeves to deliver a second punch.
*BUZZZ!*
This time, the sound from the box was different. The trembling grew more frequent, more frantic, and the red light flickered erratically, like a cornered animal.
Naruto paused, then spread his hands. "Hey, I was just kidding." He was conversing with the box itself.
The box indicated its willingness to acknowledge Naruto's right to use it and to submit to him as its wielder, on the condition that he wouldn't smash it again.
For treasures like the Box of Ultimate Bliss that possess partial sentience, one must first gain their acknowledgment to truly wield them. Methods like Mui's, merely channeling chakra, could only activate it but never truly control it. Once activated, it would simply attack everyone indiscriminately.
That was why Satori had instantly defeated Mui upon its appearance: partly because it inherited Muku's memories, and partly because everyone present had been within its attack range.
Naruto, it seemed, had also gained its acknowledgment, albeit through more… physical means.
It was worth mentioning that the Box of Ultimate Bliss originally possessed no wish-granting ability, that was merely a fabrication passed down through generations.
The box had been created as a weapon, and its sole ability was destruction. Satori's immortality and its mind-reading ability, combined with the box's power to absorb life forms and mass-produce monsters, had earned it the title of the ultimate world-destroying weapon during the era of the Sage of Six Paths.
The box conveyed that Naruto could summon it whenever he wished, and that it could release Satori to aid him in battle.
Naruto's eyes lit up as a new idea took shape. A world-destroying weapon? A monster of mass destruction? No. This was something far better.
This was a top-tier training apparatus. Satori's immortality… it was the perfect, unbreakable sparring dummy.
He gently stroked the side of the box marked with the character for 'Joy'.
'Box of Ultimate Bliss,' he thought with a wide grin. 'You're going to help me train.'
The entire box shuddered.
--**--**
Deep within Naruto's seal, Kurama let out a rumbling laugh. "Hahahaha, another one driven completely mad."
'Wait…' Naruto thought, catching the tail end of the fox's comment. 'Why did he say another one?'
--**--**
Narrator:
Who needs therapy when you have infinite respawns and a teenage sadist with fists like meteorites?
Did the Box of Ultimate Bliss just develop Stockholm Syndrome?
At what point do we stop calling it "training" and start calling it "post-traumatic plot progression"?
Mui watched a thousand-year-old death box develop anxiety. Does this make him the worst prison warden or the best therapist?
Is it still child abuse if the child is doing the abusing... to a giant psychic murder-demon? Asking for a friend.
Satori learned the hard way: immortality doesn't protect you from the emotional scars of being Naruto's personal speed bag.
Find more next time on...
"Box of Ultimate Bliss Demoted to Dumbbell of Ultimate Brutality"
Introducing… the Box of Ultimate Bliss™:
Are you tired of low-tier training dummies that break after a single punch?
Do you crave the satisfying CRUNCH of violence against immortal beings with no legal rights?
Need something to beat until your inner demons feel like third wheels?
Then YOU need the Box of Ultimate Bliss™, now with:
- Built-in trauma generator!
- Indestructible guilt-absorbing walls!
- Comes preloaded with _one_ screaming psychic beast (Satori™ Edition).
Warning: Side effects include hallucinations of godhood, dimension-threatening arrogance, and faint traces of box Stockholm syndrome. Consult your inner fox before use.
===============
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