"Got it, Granny Tsunade! I'll definitely keep an eye on the Ero-Sennin!" Naruto patted his chest with confidence.
Jiraiya's expression instantly turned sour.
'Great... I've basically picked up a little tyrant. This kid really takes after Kushina—nothing like Minato. Doesn't know how to be considerate toward his teacher at all.'
Grumbling to himself, Jiraiya kept a straight face as he slurped his ramen.
Tsunade got up, ready to leave, when she saw Hatake Kakashi approaching with Uchiha Sasuke in tow.
[Whoa... Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh—three generations of Hokage in one place! My youth really is coming back!]
Tsunade thought: I'm the Fifth, Naruto is the Seventh, then the Sixth... could it be Hatake Kakashi?
That scrawny little Kakashi actually becomes the Sixth Hokage?
If that were the case, she might as well play matchmaker between him and Shizune. It wouldn't be a bad match for her.
Shizune, who hadn't mastered the Strength of a Hundred Seal, was at her peak appearance-wise for only a few more years. If no one wanted her now, it was likely no one would want her later either.
Tsunade figured she should help her find a decent guy so she wouldn't be left alone in the future.
And Kakashi wasn't a bad option.
Though he liked reading those pervy books, he was upright and decent. No one had ever heard of him bringing women home. Aside from being a little too close with Maito Gai, there weren't really any red flags.
"Hokage-sama!" Kakashi greeted respectfully, then gave Sasuke a light whack on the head.
"Sasuke, stop staring at Naruto and greet the Hokage properly!"
Only then did Uchiha Sasuke pull his eyes away from the ramen-eating Naruto and turn to look at Tsunade.
"Hokage-sama."
The greeting was completely flat, like he was just being polite out of obligation—no sincerity whatsoever.
Kakashi's face instantly darkened.
"Ah, the Uchiha kid. Since you were staring so hard at Naruto, I take it he's your fated rival?" Tsunade teased.
Given her position, she didn't need to lower herself to argue with a brat like Sasuke.
"I will defeat him—Uzumaki Naruto!" Sasuke said with such killing intent, it felt like it could take form.
Especially seeing Naruto happily eating only made him itch for a fight even more.
[Tsk tsk, Konoha really specializes in legendary bromances. Hashirama and Madara, the Third Hokage and Danzo, the Sixth Hokage Kakashi and Maito Gai, and then the Seventh Hokage Naruto and Sasuke.]
[Hashirama and Madara bonded over skipping stones, Hiruzen and Danzo fought side by side in war, Kakashi and Gai literally saw each other pee, but the wildest has to be Naruto and Sasuke—they even shared their first kiss!]
Tsunade: 'I have something to say, but I'm not sure if I should.'
Hikari was internally roasting the man she respected most—her grandfather Senju Hashirama—which Tsunade found utterly intolerable.
But the most shocking part? Naruto and Sasuke shared their first kiss. What the hell is that?!
Are shinobi these days really this open?!
And that look in Sasuke's eyes—was it really rivalry, or just resentment from being ignored by Naruto?
Every woman has a little fujoshi in her. If not for the inappropriate setting, Tsunade would've loved to ask them how their first kiss felt.
A man and a woman sharing their first kiss, sure, that's understandable.
But two guys? What the hell?!
Since Konoha's founding, no men had ever been this bold.
Though, Tsunade had heard such customs were common among nobles...
"Sasuke, when did you get here?" Naruto turned around and scratched his head when he saw the sulking Sasuke, who looked like a neglected little wife.
"Naruto! After Kakashi-sensei's special training, I will defeat you today!"
Sasuke's eyes burned with determination, especially seeing Naruto's absentminded expression. His chakra was practically boiling, Chidori already charging in his mind.
"Sasuke, you don't stand a chance! I've got the Ero-Sennin teaching me!" Naruto said cheerfully, completely clueless.
"Naruto, I'll kill you!"
"Sasuke!"
"Naruto!"
"Sasuke!"
"Naruto!"
...
*Smack!*
*Smack!*
Two fists came down as Tsunade, the Demon Queen, successfully halted Naruto and Sasuke's duel.
[Congratulations to Tsunade for preventing the most catastrophic battle in shinobi history—Konoha genin Uzumaki Naruto vs. Konoha genin Uchiha Sasuke, the apocalyptic showdown! Reward: XXX merit points!]
Tsunade: Hikari's lost his damn mind again.
As for these two genin? Tsunade could knock them out with one punch each. If she needed a second, she'd consider it a failure.
Two measly genin—how were they going to defy her, the Fifth Hokage?
"Enough. I'm done eating, and you two showed up just in time."
Tsunade stood up, vacating her seat.
"Kakashi, report to the Hokage Building tomorrow morning. Don't be late, got it?"
Kakashi nodded his head silently. He had wanted to visit Rin's grave early the next morning, but with Tsunade's direct order—and a reminder not to be late—he'd have to set out even earlier than planned.
"Sasuke, what do you wanna eat? The Ero-Sennin is paying, so don't hold back!" Naruto cheerfully handed Sasuke the menu, dousing some of the latter's fury.
Jiraiya rolled his eyes in silence.
Seriously... other people train disciples and get gifts in return. Him? He's paying for this kid's meals now.
If this were any other brat, he wouldn't even bother!
'Hmph. Whatever. I'm magnanimous—I won't stoop to his level.'
Then he glanced at Naruto's short stature and frowned.
'Naruto is so short... I'll have to give him some supplements. He's my student after all—what kind of master wouldn't care for his own disciple?'
"Jiraiya-sama!" Kakashi greeted politely as he sat down and started browsing the menu.
"Ah, Kakashi!"
Looking at that familiar silver hair, Jiraiya momentarily felt like he was seeing Hatake Sakumo.
Then he sighed and let the memory pass.
"Tsunade has a lot to adjust to now that she's Hokage, and she needs support from capable shinobi like you. Kakashi, my treat today. Order whatever you want!"
Watching Jiraiya's forced generosity, Kakashi adjusted his forehead protector and deadpanned, "Jiraiya-sama, I was actually thinking of having barbecue. Is that okay?"
Jiraiya's eye twitched.
"You're already here! Ichiraku Ramen is a world-famous delicacy. Asking for barbecue now—are you looking down on Ichiraku?!"
"What?! Who's looking down on my ramen?!" Teuchi stormed out from the kitchen, carrying a bowl. The moment he heard someone slandering his ramen, he was furious.
His eyes glowed red, and Kakashi suddenly wished he could crawl under the table.
"N-No! No one's looking down on your ramen, boss! We were just saying it's so delicious, the lines get long—makes it a bit hard to get sometimes!"
At the blatant flattery, Teuchi's expression softened.
"Well, what can you do? If you want the good stuff, you've gotta be patient."
"Naruto, as a regular, I'll throw in an extra topping for you!"
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