Today feels like a nice day. I wonder what could go wrong.
-...-...-
"Mhmmm!!!" And here I am, tied to a goddamn pole in a muddy alley's hidden house that probably no one knows about.
How did I get here? I just walked outside of my house thinking what could go wrong. Then I saw a crying child on the road, and when I tried to calm him, someone hit me on the back of my head and now...?
"Hey, open her mouth. I want to see what she wants to say."
Momo Butcher—the one I rejected for Cupra! She found out that it was me who was talking through the earpiece, guiding him all the way.
It's not that surprising, but the fact that she came after me instead of Cupra? I wonder how she found out.
"What do you want from me?"
I know she won't kill me until I say what she wants to hea—
"BLERGH!"
How many times did they hit me when I was unconscious? Because I can't fathom how, with just one kick, I could spit blood.
Now I see that there are also men around here. Did they...?
My eyes rolled down, looking for any traces.
"Don't worry, you wannabe control lady. I'll make sure to harass you to bits, but only when you know it. So, now seems the time."
She's a total bitch. I didn't want to, but now I have to say—even her dress shows that.
Shorter-than-knee shorts, probably beachwear. Beach. smirk Suits for a bitch.
And a top tied just by some laces.
She's got the fashion, but it's not my type.
"What are you smirking at? Or do you think those people will come to save you?"
"Where are we?" I don't know where I am. So, it's natural to ask her.
"I got so much time. Let's talk until my mind says it's over for your dignity!"
I wonder if this is a dream. If it is, I want to wake up.
I can't expect anything from these men around. If she's a bitch, then they all at least must be vultures.
"So, tell me, how many times did you sleep with them?"
Whore with whore-ish thoughts.
I don't even care—whatever she says, it'll be just trash.
"Zero!" Only correct answer.
"Oh, so you're shy about it. Okay then, bring me the lie detector!"
Lie detector? What kind of game is this now?
She attached some wires to my hand, and now a machine the size of a hand lay near me.
"Now only answer me in yes or no's, okay? Because only losers try to back themselves up!"
She's challenging me? Cute.
"If it's about pride, I'm all in. But I got a condition!"
I won't play unless it's fair. She sat near me.
"Bark!"
"If all of your questions are answered correctly the exact opposite way, you have to release me unharmed!"
I know she won't take the deal, so...
"Deal!"
Oh, she did. How dumb!
"My first question—Do you love chocolate?"
What kind of question is that? Is this a prank?
"Yes!"
"Don't worry. I was just checking it."
Oh, nice try.
"Second!—Did you suck on something yesterday?"
What kind of question is that? She's a total fucker!
"Of course not! What kind of question is that—?"
...
<Þ...>
No way! There must be a fault!
"Oh my, what am I seeing? It must be broken! Let's see. Did you dirty talk someone last night?"
Of course, no— I... don't remember anything I did last night.
"No!"
"Oh, two malfunctions I see. Then answer me this, do you love the men of Nyco mansion?"
Yes, but only as in friendship. I love both brothers because I see them as my little brothers. And as for Gehrmensch—
"A..-"
She shut it closed and pulled all the sensors. The lie detector turned off.
"Your silence says everything!"
Wait, no! Why am I even being affected by someone like her? They all are just bastards.
"Now you're probably thinking I'd rip your clothes and these men will do something to you, and you'll just curse me, reject me from women's society—blah! Blah blah!"
I don't want to admit it, but every single word of hers scared my soul.
Too many men.
"But let me remind you how bad you are and what I really meant by tearing your dignity apart!"
What does she mean now?
"You see all these men? You're probably cursing them, thinking they're vultures, molesters.
(Snicker)
Fact of the day: they're all here, unknown to what's happening. They all just came because I said I'd help with your condition. I'd help you repay the loan."
What is she talking about?
"They all here are married and are running a happy family. They just came because they needed to feed their family. And you have tagged them as something beyond curse in your mind. Can you fathom what their families would have thought if they had heard you?"
That's not my problem—I'm surrounded by them, of course I'd think that.
She's just trying to manipulate me. Caroline, get a hold of yourself!
"You. Your words alone could ruin their families. Imagine their small children watching their fathers, brothers, sons getting falsely blamed. You didn't prove they are, but you have planted the seed which will shatter their lives!!"
But—but I haven't said anything.
"I... who haven't even touched you, is helping all of these poor guys, and God knows how many times you have cursed me just because of a false assumption of yours!"
But—I... why should I even think all this stuff? I'm kidnapped, tied, surrounded by some strangers—of course anyone would think that.
"You just haven't cursed me or them—you have cursed the ones who gave us birth, the ones who fed us, the ones who helped us, whom we live for, love, work for. You have cursed them all, yet you have enough pride to call yourself a woman with dignity?"
I can't understand—what is she saying?? All I did was just...? I just...
"Do you know I don't even need to tear your dignity because you don't even have something like that!"
How cruel she... how can someone say that?
"But b-but!"
"Oh, you wanna see your dignity? You know I gave them money for coming here. But I didn't ask them to lie. And you know, a poor man would always try to help a good person but will fear a bad one! Wanna see?"
Please, anyone. Save me—I can't take it anymore, whatever she's saying.
"Hey, anyone here who thinks I should free this gold digger who seduces rich males and dirty talks them until she gets something ...? Anyone?"
Please!
She's crossing limits.
I opened my eyes and looked around. The gazes I was scared of once were now scared to meet with my eyes. They all were talking among themselves.
Momo was enjoying this scenario, unarmed.
Yet it felt like she's slicing me into pieces every time a word comes out of her mouth!
Then all faces started moving—they all said NO to me!
Why? I haven't even done anything to them.
"You see your dignity, Miss Gold Digger? Hey you! Why didn't you choose her? And you too!"
One by one, she pointed at every one of them.
They all gave different reasons, but ended with a single same sentence.
"I..."
"Have... a."
"Family..."
"I want to return..."
"Home... safely!"
But why? Why isn't anyone choosing me?
"Hey, you all? What happened? Why are you scared of me? Just side with me one time! Don't you see she's the one who kidnapped me!? Where is your courage!?"
I didn't know why she was getting on my nerves, but I screamed whatever I could!
"Oii! Stop that! Who are you to judge if they got courage or not?"
The people started leaving the place. Only I and Momo were alone.
"I..."
"They have ploughed farms with bare hands—what have you done to judge their courage?"
"I..."
"They are running a family, helping their partner, sibling, dying parent. Who are you TO JUDGE THEIR COURAGE?"
"I...!?"
"If you tried it, your hand would break—or you'd die from a heatstroke. Or in distant villages, even wild animals attack. Tell me, can you protect from them?"
"I have made connections, learned five-plus languages, fought for my position! Who are you to judge my courage!?"
"I..."
"You just got picked up as an Advisor and you think you are capable of judging me?"
"How do you know tha—"
"Tell me, who are you? Do you have degrees? Achievements? Prizes? Highest marks? High IQ?"
"I am Caroline!"
"So what? It's just given to you, it's not like you earned it! Tell me—or do you think studies don't define someone? Tell me, do you know how to draw? Dance? Sing? Play? Write?"
"Wr...ite?"
"Do you have any, even a single achievement? You think I'm jealous of your fast success? I can surpass that alone with my hardwork in a month by miles. Tell me, can you do that?"
"N-n-no…"
"Then WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME? MAKE CUPRA REJECT ME? LIVE LIKE YOU EARNED THE MASION OF NYCO'S?"
"I-h...! It's not my fault, right! I agreed because I wanted to help!" Momo crossed her legs, her ankle resting on her knee; head in her palm.
"I did what I felt was right! Why am I at fault now? Who are you to tell me all this? Why should I believe anything you say?" That's right. I didn't do anything wrong, anything! She'll probably try to say some more trash but I'm not gonna fall for that.
"Then don't!" Her gaze locked on me but with… with… pity?
"Huh—Eh?"
"I said then don't trust whatever I say." Her voice became calm. She picked a juice-can and drew circles in the air with its bottom.
"It's not like I can force anything in your brain..." Then what was all this? Why is she being normal all of a sudden?
"My job was to tell you the truth. Now you'll pick up the words that are true." What does this mean?
"They will haunt you until you accept them. You're no good than any other. We both are same, you are just wearing a mask of morality to look as good person." I am not. I just did this all for... for...
"You are just trying to look presentable. To be chosen, to be used. Your biggest fear is that you'll be useless." My lower jaw started ticking. Sweat trailed down from my forehead, neck, stomach.
"You detest to be subjected as an object yet you crave to be used as a tool. Just to feel familiar." I don't know what to think. What am I thinking? Her words. They are killing me, I don't want to listen her or I'll go crazy.
"Tell me Caroline. Has anyone ever truely loved you? Or do you even know what being loved means?" Love...? Love. It means to be ad..-
"To be adored, to make someone feel seen, to live in harmony with someone. Is that right? You're just mixing hedonism, isolation, and equilibrium. Framing it as love, can you even sacrifice a single drop of blood for that? Or you'll expect others to do it!"
Why..? Why.why.why..don't listen to her Caroline. You know others love you! Your colleagues, your friends, Nyco brothers, Cass, Gehrmensch..? Gehrmensch.
"Your neighbours love you because you were with them that means you're replaceable!" No..that can't be..
"Your friends love you because it's their 'responsibility' not their own desire!" No..no! It's...
"Your boss love you because you work for them!"
But isn't that?..
"Isn't that what love means?" Isn't the act of going out of your desire to help someone love?
"That's kindness. They're either being kind to you or repaying their debt. Tell me, is there a single person who is doing something for you so big that the person knows you can't repay it? Yet they are doing it? Name one!"
Big?.. Thing.. Nickel! Yeah, they're paying me more but I'm just helping them in dating...
["Because we care for our wealth. We want someone who can choose a perfect partner for us."]
Isn't that what they said in the agreement? The salary they're paying is nothing compared to what they'll lose if I didn't help them.
"Oh my, are you thinking something? Trying to find a single person like that? No, you can't? Then tell me, have you ever even felt being loved by someone for once? Even if you had, you probably..."
"Stop! Please... stop that." My eyes were red, what was happening? I can't think straight. Everything is this bitch's fault. This whore, slut! Fucker! She's messing with my mind. I won't let her fuck with my fucking mind.
Yet her words are spiraling!! I hid my head with my hand.. hands?
"Oh, you finally saw that? You never tried to get your hands in front, did you? Because... you knew I was telling the truth!" No, I just thought... thought that they'd be tied so tight so it's meaning..less.
"See... you're so scared of yourself. You won't even try to stand up. You're so scared..." scared... scared... fear...
"That you can't even face anyone with your shredded dignity, unloving face and uselessness!" She was leaving while drinking soda from the can.
"It's not like I went physical, right? That kick was just a little slip of movement. Let's settle this here. I don't have any more malice towards you. Maybe later I'll feel regret of either leaving you or being so much.
But to be really honest, I don't care what you do. No one does!"
No one does...
No one...
[You detest being subjected as an object yet you crave to be used as a tool. Just to feel familiar.]
These words just sat on my chest for more than they deserved to.