Sunny received a message from Master Jet, one of the only two people who cared about him and was alive, asking if he would like to help her in Antarctica. Apparently some Chain of Nightmares stuff was happening, but he couldn't care more right now.
There was a need to meet as well but right now he didn't care. Right now his priority was visiting Rain's grave.
Even if she didn't want it... Didn't he deserve being selfish this one time?
Since the last few years every attempt of his selfishness has led to one thing.
Betrayal.
Betrayal by his family's friend, betrayal in the outskirts, 'betrayal' in his First Nightmare and the worst of them... the betrayal by his closest 'friends.'
What was next?
Would he ever be able to rest?
Did Alex know Rain would die? Was that the reason he allowed him to end the Nightmare?
D-did he know? He knew recipes from his time, whether they actually existed around then and those dishes were taken from his head or not wasn't something he knew. He neither knew Alex's Aspect nor Attributes.
A-and yet... And yet he wished Alex didn't know it.
He wished Alex didn't betray him. After all, he might have been dead or captured or— or... Or he didn't know... And now it was better to not doubt it. Better for his sake.
Alex was like a father, but would never replace his actual father once he... Sunny quickly summoned his Memory [Re-Route].
'Soon... Hopefully soon we'll see each other again, Dad.'
Sunny kneeled towards the grave, then kneeled for Rain.
"I am sorry..." He spoke aloud, a pointless thing since she was dead and probably completely destroyed in the Shadow Realm. The price about Shadow Realm was given to him by Alex, but the knowledge of where didn't matter.
Even the knowledge itself didn't matter.
He just... He just wanted to speak his heart out... But now— now was not the time. Nor the place. He would go to the tree he marked as his parents' grave and add Rain's mark....
And remove his own.
He didn't deserve it.
Not anymore.
Not when...
'Sunless! Stop... Stop for now. Do it all there.' Sunny forcefully pushed the memories away. The memories that were better off forgotten...
Sunny... Sunny lost everyone... So he was better off... Better off without anyone... And yet— and yet he didn't want to. He wanted to believe in that eccentric Professor Julius and the Master who welcomed him.
Master Jet.
The only reason he was alive was because of her advice. Her advice of taking Wilderness Survival.
'But couldn't she still use him?'
After all, outskirt rats were among the best if they survived.
He reached the tree— the tree where his parents' grave was. He pushed those thoughts away. For now it was reserved for his—no, not his family. They wouldn't want him. How could they?
Sunny was 3 years old... His dad— his dad worked every day, even weekends. And that was when it happened.
A Sunday.
The news delivered like a bolt of lightning. He was there when his mom collapsed. When she cried. The moment they both heard about his dad's death.
Sunny couldn't comprehend what happened but seeing his mom cry, made him cry. It took him a few moments to realise... His dad wasn't coming back. He would never be back, and so he did the only thing he could.
Comfort Rain.
Ever since his death the way his mom looked at him changed but her treatment was the same. He didn't understand why.
And then, 3 years later the way she looked at him changed again. It changed for Rain too.
It became more somber, more gentle, more— more... He didn't know. He couldn't. He was still young. Too young.
Only now did he know the truth, the truth of the fact that it was the look of someone who would die soon. Someone who couldn't break the news to hurt their precious person... Someone who cared about them a lot .
She started giving them more food, more care and more of everything they needed.
He turned 7 soon after, and started to notice the changes... But still, even if he did notice them, he didn't know what it meant.
That evening, when they were having their dinner, Rain asked for more, and then he— he did too, not knowing that she would die from lack of strength, along with her illness.
He had more on his plate, not necessarily needing it and then... And then hearing her say "I'm sorry" broke him.
He failed with the final task his mom gave. The most important one: protecting Rain.
They had a family friend and Sunny knew where they had their savings, he was already told what he had to do to save himself and Rain if they died. He had to visit them and ask them to take care of him and Rain.
He reached for the train, alone since he couldn't bring Rain with him right now, and was about to buy a ticket when someone showed up.
"Want me to buy you a ticket?" The man said, offering him a ticket. He took it and thanked the man, leaving for the train.
Onboarding it, he crashed into someone, not knowing that he...
Was pick pocketed.
When he finallt reached the "family friend's" home... He realised he was betrayed by them.
Broken and defeated, he made his way to the train station. As he reached forward to pay for his ticket... He found out that he was robbed.
Robbed and ruined.
He used the last remaining credits he had on himself to buy food. To pay rent. He made the stupid mistake of carrying as much as he could, it had a reason, he didn't know the ticket price.
But still— still... shouldn't he have limit himself? Thought for a second that the price would be relatively low? No. He was an idiot. A fool.
A stupid worthless fool, that one thing could have avoided a lot more. A lot, lot more.
They remained home for one week until the rent ran out before heading to the orphanage...
Sunny woke up at the tree again, his eyes full of tears, and body full of sweat. He marked Rain's death on the tree with a line, and kept his despite not deserving it.
Did he not deserve to be selfish once?
'So what if he they don't want me?' Sunny thought with a silent scream. He wished to... He wished to... He didn't know what he wished.
What was the best thing he could wish for?
Would his parents, despite caring for him, wish for him to never be born? Would they want it deep down?
It was his fault.
It was all his fault.
His fault that they all died.
Hia fault that his dad died. Would he have gone to work that day if Sunny didn't exist?
His fault that his mom died. Wouldn't she have more money and food for herself if Sunny didn't exist?
His fault... His fault that Rain died. Where did it all start?
Why did he even exist? If all he did was make stupid mistakes, and, and, and—
Yes, that's right. His very existence led to ruin. Lost from the light, he dragged everyone he loved along with him, deep into the darkness.
If only... if only he hadn't been born.
And yet, why? Why didn't he wish for such a future? Why wouldn't he want a reality where they were all alive, smiling, while he would be dead?
Oh.
This was it.
Sunny... Sunny knew.
"I really am human trash," He laughed, a storm raging in his onyx eyes, ready to devour anything in his path.
"I still claw for the hope of having someone want me, even when—even when I don't deserve it."
'I'm sorry. Rain. Mother. Father'
'I really don't deserve any of you in my life'
He was a slave.
Nothing more.
And yet— and yet he wished for more.
He wished to be someone.
He wished— he wished someone cared for him...
But it wouldn't happen. Not anymore. Not when he lost everyone, and was a slave to top it off.
Even if it happened, he wouldn't trust them.
Couldn't.
How could he? How could— how could he trust anyone...
And yet... And yet why did he find himself trusting Alex, Professor Julius and even... Even Master Jet. Master Jet was the least trustworthy of the three due to her origin of being in the outskirts... So why? Why was he sure that he would trust her and go forward with meeting her later.
Why?
Just... Why?
"Mom, dad, Rain. Would you still want me?"
He paused.
"Why am I asking you this question? You're all dead." He laughed, it was stupid to talk to someone who was long dead but he didn't care. Not right now...
"I bet you all are enjoying my suffering, because I'm your child. Because I'm the reason you died. But please... Please"
He paused, and then whispered in a barely audible voice.
"Please want me. Want me to atleast lie here. With you all... Don't let me die all alone without anyone to care."
The shadows around stirred, tried reaching towards their Master, as if to comfort him.
After all, their Master was mourning, how could they just stay there idly?
"Mom... Dad... Rain... Please... Just please give me a sign." Sunny whispered softly. It was, again, stupid. How could they? How could the dead give him a sign?
They were all turned to escense by now anyways.
So why?
Why did the words come out?
Why did— why did he say those?
Why?
"What did I expect..." He sighed after a few moments, "It was my fault."
"Just like— just like your deaths... Just like everything."
He was the only survivor.
And the only one cursed.
He laughed, a slow, laugh. A laugh expressing sadness. A maniacal laugh.
He leaned more, towards the tree, and that's when something unexpected happened. Something which made no sence. Had no cause.
Escense flowed towards him, seemingly carried by the wind. It was like all those dramatic webtoons and animes where the main character was accepted by the dead. When they wished for the main character to carry forward.
He remembered laughing at those, he remembered judging those people, but now? Now he smiled. It made no sense for the escense to do that. Not here atleast. It had no source, or atlease he assumed it had none, before smiling.
"Thanks everyone..."
Thank you Mom. Dad. Rain.
It was still him coping right now, they didn't do this.
Couldn't.
It was impossible for them.
He rested there for hours recalling his failures, each and every one of them before he sensed it.
Changing Star's shadow...
I wanted to write more for the train part, where he visits his family friend's but whatever, I decided against it later
Chapter goals:
1) Get to 69 hearts on ss discord thread
2) 10 votes on Wattpad, this chapter or a review on wn
Oh and I have a discord server if you want to join! (Im shameless but I held myself back for 10 chapters lmao). Its not a ss discord just more of a hangout, might actually make a ss role and you to the channel *manually* (im def not adding my friends 💀)
Link: https://discord.gg/HpAjjPG2
Don't worry I won't promote every chapter, it would be like every few lmfao