Saturday, October 31st, 1994
"Very well," Albus said, sighing again, "Let us hear about our very near future, or at least, what would have happened had you not – as you say – fallen out of the sky?"
"I suppose I should start at the very beginning," Lord Potter said, "Well, let's see. First the earth cooled. And then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it. He just –"
"Husband!" Lady Potter interrupted her husband, even though she was giggling, "Now is not the time for movie references!"
Meanwhile, Hermione and Harry were also giggling in their chairs. Lord Potter did recall that he had first heard that movie quote at the Dursleys. Uncle Vernon and Dudley loved watching that movie and its prequel. Harry had seen some of those scenes, so of course he knew the reference.
Albus looked annoyed, and Minerva looked confused.
"Sorry… Muggle movie reference," Lord Potter said. "Where was I? Right… Harry Potter's name coming out of the Goblet of Fire. Well, obviously no portal appeared in the middle of the Great Hall. So I was forced to do the walk of shame up toward the Professors. Meanwhile, a few students – interestingly enough, not just Slytherins – were jeering at me, calling me a cheat, and all sorts of unscrupulous things. Even those many, many girls – and some boys – who fancied me, were all glaring at me instead of batting their eyes flirtatiously, as per usual."
"Not that you'd notice such things back then," Lady Potter said.
Hermione made a noise of agreement.
"My dear Hermione was the only one who didn't glare at me," Lord Potter said.
"What about Ron?" Harry asked.
"Oh, we'll get to Ron," Lord Potter said, "Just you wait. Interestingly enough… none of the Professors stopped any of this name-calling from happening."
Minerva tsked.
"I'm sure we were… too shocked to react to anything at that very moment in time," Albus said.
"Yes, well, keep that in mind because it will be important soon," Lord Potter said.
"Indeed," Lady Potter muttered.
"The Headmaster simply looked at me with a –" Lord Potter imitated Dumbledore's voice, "'I'm very disappointed in you, Harry' stare. It was very traumatic. Severus Snape looked at me with a "You're just like your father, Potter!" glare. That wasn't as traumatic, given that he'd done it before so many times."
Harry nodded, knowing exactly what Lord Potter meant.
Lord Potter sighed. "Well, then, it didn't help that the other Professors, including Barty Crouch, Junior (I didn't know that was him at that point, of course), and also Madame Maxime, and Igor Karakaroff, and Barty Crouch (the father, not the son) were all staring at me. I don't know. Must have had something on my face."
Lord Potter distractedly rubbed the lightning-bolt shaped scar that was now paper-thin. Lady Potter sighed and glared playfully at her husband.
"Mind you, I had just met those last three – in a way," Lord Potter said, "so I didn't know why they had decided to look at me all weirdly."
"And Ludo Bagman?" Minerva asked.
"Looked at me as if I was a huge pile of gold he had just won after betting on me to win the Triwizard Tournament," Lord Potter said.
"Actually that one isn't sarcasm," Lady Potter said.
"So I was told to go wait with the other Champions," Lord Potter continued, "The other three Champions wanted to know why I was there. Asked if I was there to tell them to go back to the Great Hall. Then Ludo Bagman comes in and announces 'Amazing! We have a fourth Champion!' Fleur Delacour thinks he's making a joke, and Ludo assures the other Champions that this is not a joking manner. Well, then all the other adults came and made their appearances known. Madame Maxime was ranting at the Headmaster that this whole thing was just unjust! And the Headmaster replied, making his voice known, "Shut up you French Tart!"
"Albus, you wouldn't!" Minerva gasped.
"In the Headmaster's defense, he was panicking," Lord Potter said. "He rushed over to me, put his hands on my shoulders and yelled 'HARRYDIDYEWPUTYANAMEINDAGOBLETOFFIYA?!'"
"Albus Dumbledore, manhandling a student like that!" Minerva tutted.
"Actually, no wait, that happened in my nightmares later that night," Lord Potter said before Albus could reply, "You actually spoke rather calmly, serenely, sir. I'm afraid my nightmare that night was so traumatic that I remember that more than your… more calm self."
"I understand," Albus said, "I'm glad I did not act like I did in your nightmare."
"Indeed!" Minerva huffed.
"He asked me – calmly – if I put my name in the Goblet of Fire," Lord Potter said, "I said I didn't. Madame Maxime and Professor Snape accused me of lying. Oh, I almost forgot! Before you interrogated me, sir, Fleur Delacour called me a little boy."
"I am not little!" Harry grumbled.
"Most certainly not," Lord Potter agreed with his Mini-Me, "Well, and then there was a lot of back and forth complaining. Madame Maxime and Igor Karkaroff complained about me competing, about Hogwarts having 'two bites of the apple'. They accused you, Albus, of cheating, of not telling them that Hogwarts got to have two champions. And of course Professor Snape told everyone I was the one to blame, not the Headmaster, or Hogwarts, or even the Goblet of Fire. Me, only me… because I look like the man who married the woman he… fancied."
"EWWWW what?!" Harry exclaimed. "Snape fancies my Mum!"
"Professor Snape, Harry," Lord Potter said, winking at Albus, who had opened his mouth to say the same thing (probably… or maybe he was going to scold Lord Potter for revealing Snape's dirtiest secret). "We'll discuss that later, mate."
Harry huffed. "It's still gross."
"Agreed," Lord Potter said, "Moving on. Well, Headmaster, after Professor Snape said his thing you did that ol' 'Thank you, Severus' thing you do when you want him to shut up."
Albus nodded, realizing what Harry meant. Of course, the fact that he had done the same thing to Minerva earlier went on ignored.
"That was when you asked me if I put my name in the Goblet of Fire," Harry said, "Wow, so many things happened before that. My nightmare really did change my point-of-view that night. Anyway… then you calmly asked me if I had someone else put my name in. I also answered in the negative. And then I was accused of lying again!"
"Merlin, Severus doesn't know when to shut up," Minerva muttered.
"Actually it was Madame Maxime accusing me of lying this time," Lord Potter said, grinning.
Lady Potter rolled her eyes. Minerva huffed.
"Madame Maxime says the Headmaster made a mistake with the Age Line," Lord Potter continued, "The Headmaster tried to be diplomatic – 'oh, I suppose it is possible', and Professor McGonagall defended him – 'Of course you didn't make a mistake! What nonsense! Harry couldn't have put his name in the Goblet of Fire!'"
"Of course, I'd defend the two of you!" Minerva said, proudly.
"Karkaroff asked Ludo Bagman and Bartemius Crouch (again the father, not the son) about their opinion," Lord Potter continued, "And Bartemius Crouch said – there's nothing that can be done. I had to compete. More complaining and moaning was done by Madame Maxime, and Igor Karkaroff, but the Headmaster countered, and asked them to come up with an idea about what to do about the predicament, right there on the spot. They said nothing and backed down. And then Moody – I mean Bartemius Crouch, Junior – came in, and gave a great theory about why my name came out of the Goblet of Fire. He thought that someone did it, hoping I would die in the tournament. Of course, you can see the irony, because it was him who did it. Funny to look back on now."
"Indeed," Minerva muttered.
"He even told us how he did it," Lord Potter continued, "He said whoever did it, hoodwinked a very powerful object, obviously something I couldn't have done. Whoever did it, bamboozled the Goblet into forgetting there were three schools. He never actually commented on Ilvermorny though…"
"Of course not," Minerva said, "Didn't want to reveal himself right there."
"Well, he sort of did, because Karkaroff accused him," Lord Potter said, "Of course, then Crouch Junior turned it around on Karkaroff, and suddenly the Durmstrang Headmaster became my number one suspect – with Professor Snape running very closely in second, obviously. Followed by Draco Malfoy, then Wormtail, then –"
"We get the point, my love," Lady Potter said.
"Well, then we finally moved on to the reason we were there," Lord Potter said, "Barty Crouch (Senior, that is) informed the champions that the first task would take place in late November. Designed to test our daring, our courage…without telling us what we were actually doing. We were supposed to go in without knowing what we were facing. Suffice it to say, all four of us knew what we'd be facing by the time the First Task came around."
"Spoilers, dear," Lady Potter said.
"Right, sorry," Lord Potter said, "He told us about the Weighing of the Wands and that was it. The meeting was over. You dismissed me and Cedric, Headmaster. Instead of giving us some encouragement, some of that grandfatherly, mentorly advice you seem to love to give, you just told us 'hey, I bet there's some great parties waiting for you in your Common Rooms. Get going boys!'"
"I'm sure you and Cedric were already bored of what had just taken place, so I didn't want to keep you," Albus said, his eyes twinkling.
"Maybe… that infernal meeting did feel as if it lasted for five hours, after all," Lord Potter said. "Anyway, Cedric and I headed off. Before we went our separate ways, Cedric asked me 'how did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?' I tried to tell Cedric that I did not put my name in the Goblet of Fire, but… eh, I don't think he believed me. Even after all that humdrum that we just witnessed."
Minerva huffed. "And he is the top candidate for Head Boy. He should have been more… supportive."
"Yes, well," Lord Potter said, "I made my way – alone – up to the Gryffindor Tower. The Fat Lady was getting drunk with her friend when I arrived, but she was sober enough to let me inside the Tower. Then I was met with chaos. My housemates wanted me to tell them how I put my name in the Goblet of Fire, none of them wanting to listen when I told them I didn't do it. I just wanted to go to bed, and I think I finally screamed 'I'm tired!'. I don't even know where Hermione was at that point."
"I was in my dormitory," Lady Potter said, "I, too, had tried to tell everyone that Harry didn't put his name in the Goblet of Fire. Nobody wanted to believe me. Not even… not even Ron."
Hermione gasped.
"Really?" Harry asked.
"Yeah," Lord Potter said, "When I got up to our dormitory, Ron was laying in his bed. Nobody else was there, just him. I asked him where he'd been. Why didn't he meet me in the Common Room? He just goes 'oh, hello'. And then he congratulated me. Congratulated me for finding a way to put my name in the Goblet of Fire. Of course, I could have told him how I did it. His words. I told him I didn't put my name in the Goblet of Fire. He replies with 'you don't have to lie to me, I'm your best mate, I won't tell anyone. Tell me how you did it?' I told him I didn't do it. Then he told me to 'piss off'. And slammed his curtains around his bed. And that… was the longest conversation I would have with him for the next month.
"My best friend – who had been my best mate since we met on the Hogwarts Express before First Year started – joined the throngs of people who called me a cheat, a liar, a fraud, and continued to do so for the next month."
Hermione had tears in her eyes, and Harry stared down at his lap again.
"I really wish I can say I had promoted Hermione to my 'best friend' after that," Lord Potter said, "She was… at least for that month. I wouldn't have gotten through that month, through the First Task, without her. And when the first task was over, Ron forgave me – forgave me – for something. I don't know what I was supposed to be forgiven for. But I'll tell you this. Ron Weasley never apologized, never said 'I'm sorry' for believing I put my name in the Goblet of Fire. Ever. Even after it was discovered who did it. And yet… for some reason, he was still promoted back to being my best mate… again."
Lady Potter continued the story this time. "The morning after Harry's name came out of the Goblet of Fire, I met Harry outside the Common Room with a pile of toast. I knew he'd want to avoid everyone… well, mostly Ron. Instead of going to the Great Hall, we headed outside onto the Grounds, talked about things. I immediately assured Harry that I knew he didn't put his name in the Goblet of Fire. Unlike some people…"
"Ron," Lord Potter muttered.
"I recognized the look on Harry's face when his name came out of the Goblet," Lady Potter continued, "He had no idea what was going on."
"That's true!" Hermione gasped, then looked at Harry, "I remember your expression earlier tonight, before Lord and Lady Potter's portal appeared. You were stunned, you had no idea what just happened."
"I was bloody terrified," Harry muttered.
"Language, Harry!" Lady Potter, Hermione and Minerva scolded the boy.
Harry blushed.
"We talked about Ron," Lady Potter said, "And I told Harry that Ron still believed he had entered his name into the Goblet of Fire. I think a few more… things… were said about Ron, and then I suggested to Harry that he write to Sirius. It took some encouragement, but he did. He wrote to Sirius, and… unfortunately, he didn't use Hedwig, because she was too recognizable. We didn't want anyone to recognize her while she was looking for Sirius."
"She was angry at me," Lord Potter said, "First my best mate, and then Hedwig, who was my first real friend, was angry at me. Like I said… without Hermione, I would have been entirely alone. Lost, alone and having no idea what to do about the Triwizard Tournament. Hermione was there for me when nobody else was."
"And I always will be," Lady Potter said.
Lord Potter smiled at his wife, and took her nearest hand in his.
"Well, things didn't improve in classes… especially with the Hufflepuffs," Lord Potter continued. "The Hufflepuffs are certainly a loyal bunch… especially when it comes to their own housemates. And because I took the title of "Hogwarts' Only Champion' away from Cedric, I got no love from the loyal, caring, sweet Puffs! The Ravenclaws… they mostly ignored me. The Slytherins… at least I already expected them to ignore me. The Gryffindors, my own Housemates. Turned away from me. Except for Hermione. There was a point, I think, where I was terrified they'd kick me out of the House."
Minerva closed her eyes, and rubbed a wrinkle in her forehead.
"And then a few days later," Lord Potter continued, "the Badges came."
"Badges?" Minerva asked, opening her eyes and narrowing her eyebrows.
"Badges," Lord Potter repeated. "Those stinkin' badges! They said 'Support the REAL Champion, Cedric Diggory' and when those words vanished, they were replaced with the words 'Potter Stinks'. The badges were everywhere. Students from all four houses were wearing them. Ron even wore one. They turned their nose up at me, and shoved the badges in my face. Mind you, the badges were on the student's robes, and some of the girls tried to put their chest in my face, so I could see it better! So even when they were angry at me, they were still flirting with me!"
With her free hand, Lady Potter smacked Harry's hand she was holding. Hermione and Harry giggled (impressively, Harry was blushing deeply at Lord Potter's 'flirting' statement, even while he giggled), and a tiny smile formed on Minerva's lips.
"Behave, husband," Lady Potter said.
"Yes, dear," Lord Potter said, then looked back at Albus and Minerva, "Again, none of the Professors of this school did a single thing, not about the Badges, the name-calling, the bullying."
Minerva closed her eyes again, and her nostrils flared.
"I am sure the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang Students noticed all of it," Lord Potter said, "And none of the Professors of this school did a single thing. So much for International Magical Cooperation. I'm sure our guests were very impressed with the goings-on in our school."
"Where's your excuse this time, Headmaster?" Lady Potter asked.
"Surely, Lady Potter," Albus retorted, "you can't blame me for something that hasn't happened – and likely won't happen?"
"It will happen," Lady Potter retorted, "If young Harry here is chosen as the Champion. It might not happen if my husband is chosen, but that would likely be because they are too fascinated by him."
"Or terrified of me," Lord Potter said, with a smirk.
"They might not call Harry a cheat, Headmaster," Lady Potter said, "Especially after you reveal the truth of who put Harry's name in the Goblet of Fire. But I'm sure there will something – especially those who believe Cedric should be the only Hogwarts Champion."
"We will be vigilant – myself and the rest of the staff – for any of that nonsense," Minerva promised. "I promise, it won't happen. And if it does, we will stop it before it gets worse!"
"I appreciate it, Professor," Lord Potter said, and Lady Potter, Harry and Hermione nodded.
Both Lord and Lady Potter noticed that Albus was doing his best not to look disagreeable with his Deputy's statement.
Should we tell them about Malfoy, and your teeth?" Lord Potter asked his wife.
"No," Lady Potter said, "It won't happen this time. I'm already planning on how to prevent it. I can fix her teeth if she wants. I'll suggest it to her. Weighing of the Wands next.""Moving on," Lord Potter said, "The Weighing of the Wands. I was in Professor Snape's class, when Colin Creevey interrupted the proceedings, and told Professor Snape I was needed for Tournament business. Snape said that it should wait because I was in class. He got annoyed when Colin insisted, even more annoyed when Colin said I had to bring my things with me. I was pretty much late to the Weighing of the Wands because Snape kept trying to delay me from leaving."
Minerva tutted and muttered something about Snape.
"Well, I wasn't the last to arrive," Lord Potter said. "The Headmaster and Mr. Ollivander hadn't arrived. Rita Skeeter was there. She asked if I wanted an interview, and before I could decline, she manhandled me and shoved me into a broom closet and interrogated me. Sorry, I mean she interviewed me. She used a Quick-Quotes Quill, which I am sure you know what those do."
"Oh, boy," Minerva sighed, "I see where this is going."
"She asked me some questions, mistook my age for twelve, ignored me when I told her I didn't put my name in the Goblet of Fire," Lord Potter continued. "No matter how short my answers were, the damned Quill kept writing… writing things I wasn't saying. She asked me about my parents, and finally I raised my voice enough, yelling at her, that the door opened and the Headmaster was there. He rescued me from the mad woman. And then the Weighing commenced. Wands were weighed, pictures were taken. The whole thing took way too long. Potions Class was over by the time I got out of there. My advce, Headmaster: try to put a time limit on those kinds of events during the Tournament."
"I will take it under advisement, Lord Potter," Albus said.
"Thank you," Lord Potter said, "Anyway, I went back to my Common Room, and a barn owl was waiting for me. It had a letter from Sirius, informing me that he would contact me somehow later that month."
"Somehow?" Minerva asked, looking very interested, "How? Did he succeed?"
Lord Potter looked at his wife, who nodded.
"He used the Floo Network, and was able to talk to me through the Floo in the Gryffindor Common Room," Lord Potter said.
"Contact from someone outside of Hogwarts, using the Floos!" Minerva gasped, "I didn't even think that was possible!"
"I'm sure I had something to do with it," Albus said, his eyes twinkling.
"Well, before that conversation happened," Lord Potter said, "A couple other things happened. Rita Skeeter's article came out. Of course, the article put words in my mouth where I basically just said 'er…'. She once again called me 'twelve years old'. Once again, the students just jeered and laughed at me, due to the article. Teased me for 'crying about my parents during the interview', which I didn't do. Once again, the Professors didn't do a thing.
"Anyway… later, Hermione and I were in Hogwarts, and Hagrid and Barty Crouch Junior (posing as Moody, of course), approached us in the Three Broomsticks. Hagrid asked me to meet him at his home that evening. At midnight."
"He wanted you to break curfew?" Minerva asked.
"Barty Crouch, Junior put him up to it," Lord Potter said.
"Of course he did," Minerva said, sighing, "And of course you broke curfew and met with him. Let me guess, he took you into the Forbidden Forest."
"Of course," Lord Potter said, with a wink. "But we weren't alone. He had a juicy date with Madame Maxime. Well, I was under the Invisibility Cloak, so she had no idea I was there. He took me into the forest until we arrived at a location where four large Dragons were being kept for the First Task. Nesting… Mother… Dragons."
Minerva closed her eyes and swore under her breath.
"So basically I knew what I was facing," Lord Potter said, "Shortly after I arrived, I left. I couldn't stand Hagrid and Madame Maxime flirting too much longer. Plus I had to get back to speak to Sirius. And as I was leaving, who should I see in the forest near the dragons, but Igor Karkaroff. So now, I was pretty sure Viktor and Fleur would know right along with me.
"By the time I arrived back in the Common Room, I only had to wait for a few minutes, before Sirius' face showed up in the fireplace. We talked about various things. Not much about the Dragon though. Sirius wanted me to know his theories of who might have put my name in the Goblet of Fire. He accused Igor Karkaroff. So of course, that red herring was still at the top of my list. When we finally got to discussing the Dragon, he barely had time to tell me about a Dragon's weak points, before I had to interrupt him. Because I heard someone coming down the stairs. So he had to leave immediately.
"And who was it who came down the stairs? Ron Weasley. He accused me of staying awake because I was practicing for my next big interview. I threw one of those 'stinkin' badges at his face, hit him in the forehead – told him I hoped he had a scar and became the next person to get gawked at for having a scar like mine – and went to bed. Next time he'd speak to me, it was because he 'forgave me for my transgressions' after the First Task."
Hermione huffed. Obviously she was quite annoyed about Ron now, thanks to Lord Potter's story. Harry looked very uncomfortable.
"I think I skipped a couple things," Lord Potter said, "Sometime between the Weighing of the Wands and following Hagrid into the forest, Barty Crouch Junior pulled me aside to give me some advice. He told me to use my strengths in the First Task. I figured I could use my Firebolt. But… I couldn't bring it into the First Task with me. Only my wand. So Junior told me to figure out a way to get my broom into the Task. That was when I realized… the Summoning Charm. So between then and the First Task, Hermione and I practiced the Summoning Charm."
"You allowed us to use an abandoned classroom, Professor McGonagall," Lady Potter said, "So we used a classroom and practiced that and other spells and charms, several times, up to the First Task."
"Also, the morning after I saw the dragons, I cornered Cedric," Lord Potter said, "I told him about the Dragons, and he apologized for the badges – he had nothing to do with then, but apologized for his fellow Puffs wearing them, and believing I put my name in the Goblet of Fire."
Minerva smiled, proud of the boy who she obviously wanted to be Head Boy.
"And then the First Task came," Harry said, "Our dragons were chosen, and of course, I picked the Hungarian Horntail – the biggest, meanest one of the bunch. I won't give you any spoilers of how Fleur, Cedric and Krum did. I expect they'll do the same things this time around too. Then I was the last to go. When I arrived in the arena, I summoned my Firebolt. The Horntail shot some fireballs at me, and the Firebolt arrived. I got on it, did a bunch of flying, and after a few minutes, grabbed the prize and got the hell out of there. The dragon cut my shoulder when she sliced it with her tail at some point, but it was shallow, Madam Pomfrey healed me right up.
"It was about that time, after Madam Pomfrey healed me, that Ron decided to 'forgive me'. Mind you, he didn't apologize, didn't say sorry. In fact, he did all that when I was exhausted after the First Task. So I didn't really fight back. I just… forgave him. I was too tired to give a… fudge."
"I'm pretty sure that was what he was counting on," Lady Potter said, "Getting back in Harry's good graces while Harry was dead tired, so Harry didn't fight back like he should have."
"And, once again, Ron Weasley was my best mate,": Lord Potter said, "Oh, yeah, and I ended up tied in first place after the First Task. So there you go."
"That seems like a fine place to end it for this evening, Lord Potter," Minerva said, "We can get back to your story after the First Task is finished. If we listened to any more of your tale, we'd be here all night. And we still need to contact Director Bones, and Headmaster, you need to see Bartemius Crouch, Junior and his father. I certainly hope Bartemius Crouch, Senior, is still here."
"Yes, of course, you're correct," Albus said, "Please feel free to use my Floo to see if you can get a hold of Amelia Bones."
Then, all of a sudden, something happened that made it unnecessary for Minerva to even stand up. The Floo across the room started to cough and sputter. Smoke and ash shot out of the fireplace. Albus stood up, and pointed his wand at the Floo. Then the smoke and ash vanished. Whether it was Albus who vanished the smoke, or the occupant inside the Floo, Lord Potter didn't know.
Director Amelia Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, stepped out of the Floo Network, turned and glared at Albus.
"Albus Dumbledore!" Amelia Bones screamed, "Why did I have to hear about the events of this evening from my niece, Susan?! Why didn't you tell me about it, immediately?!"
Lord and Lady Potter exchanged glances. Had this happened in the old timeline when Harry's name came out of the Goblet of Fire?
Somehow – somehow – Lord Potter doubted it.