"So... you're really going for it?" Shoko exhaled a puff of smoke, eyes narrowed.
Gojo leaned back in his chair, arms behind his head with a grin. "It's just a little flirtation. A harmless game."
"Utahime's going to be mad jealous, you know," Shoko said flatly.
"It's only for fun," Gojo shrugged.
Geto crossed his arms, frowning. "Satoru. You know she's right."
Gojo waved them off. "C'mon, help me brainstorm! I need something spicy to say to Makima."
He turned to his next circle of consultants: Itadori, Denji, Kazuma, Subaru, and Rudeus.
Todo slammed a fist into his palm. "Gojo... you might be my brother as well."
Choso blinked. "Is everyone your brother?"
"No," Todo replied. "Not Fushiguro."
Fushiguro sneezed from off-screen and walked into frame. "Nope."
Gojo blinked. "Why are you hanging out with Toji?"
"He's my dad."
Gojo muttered, "He's been more of a dad to you than I was."
Everyone paused.
Choso spoke thoughtfully. "I died in my timeline... but I'm here, so there's a chance. Yuki might show up too. Utahime as well."
Yuji sighed and shook his head.
Kazuma, suddenly grinning ear-to-ear, clapped his hands. "I've got it. A matchmaking show!"
Subaru narrowed his eyes. "What are you plotting?"
Kazuma leaned in, whispering darkly, "This is our chance... to finally get some action."
Subaru blinked. "I see."
Fushiguro raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that kind of wrong—"
Gojo interrupted, pointing dramatically at Rudeus. "Why does he have three wives?!"
Rudeus stammered. "I-it's a mutual understanding! They agreed! And we're not even religious!"
Subaru and Kazuma thought at the same time: You're contradicting yourself.
Denji raised a hand. "Look, just shoot your shot. Once we're back in our universes, it's heartbreak city."
Matchmaking Show: Commence.
---
First up: Denji, with Reze and Asa.
Asa stuttered nervously. "W-who is she?"
Reze smiled sweetly. "His lover. First come, first serve."
"You don't get to decide that!" Asa snapped, flustered. "Right, Denji?!"
Cut to: Denji silently enjoying the chaos, thinking, Aw man... this feels so good. Keep fighting over me.
A chair flies at his head. End of Denji's turn.
Asa storms off, muttering, "This isn't over," while Yoru mutters, Pick a fight.
Reze flips her hair. "Come at me anytime."
Yuji watches the disaster unfold and sighs. "She's got it rough. It's like Sukuna all over again."
---
Next up: Gojo and Makima.
Gojo steps up confidently. "You're a really busy person... but I can keep you busy down here." He winks.
Geto facepalms. "Satoru... you asked me for pick-up lines and chose none of them?!"
Makima, amused, tilts her head. "You have confidence. But you can't handle me. I could kill you."
Gojo grinned. "I like dangerously strong women. I can handle it."
Makima giggles softly. "If you can survive."
Gojo flicks his blindfold. "I've come back to life twice already."
Spark.
---
Next: Megumin and... Shadow.
Shadow: "I can explode your heart in an instant. Figuratively. And guide you, literally."
Alpha squeals from the sidelines with Beta and Delta. "Lord Shadow...!"
Megumin narrows her eyes. "I don't like competition. But if youre willing." Megumin blushes.
---
Rudeus and Frieren.
Rudeus: "Wait! I didn't sign up for this—!"
Eris grabs him by the collar and drags him out.
Frieren turns to Roxy. "Human or demon?"
"Demon," Roxy says casually.
Frieren raises her staff. "Zoltra—"
Sylphy blocks with a shield. "She's not bad!"
Frieren pauses. "An elf?"
Rudeus: I'm going to die again.
---
Next: Geto and Shoko.
Geto glares. "Satoru, don't drag me into this."
Shoko: "Oh? So you don't like me that much, huh?"
Geto internally: Why am I still friends with this guy.
---
Jinwoo's Turn.
Jinwoo: "I have a wife."
Leaves.
Saitama: "Hey wait."
Also leaves.
---
Senku and Alpha.
Senku: "I like strong women. But I'm not really looking for a relationship."
Alpha scoffs. "Who'd want you over Lord Shadow?"
Senku flips a tablet toward her. "Solve this equation. Prove me wrong."
Alpha scoffs. "You think equations are hotter than loyalty?"
Senku deadpans. "Loyalty doesn't build rockets."
Leaves.
Kazuma mutters, "Where's Light?"
---
Light screaming from the containment room.
---
Lloyd steps up.
Silence.
He walks away in tears.
Lloyd: "Javier... am I truly unlovable?"
Javier with a pitiful stare. "I—just stop crying. You have the queen, remember?"
---
Yuji and... Ozawa.
Yuji: "You're here too?"
Ozawa: "Y-yeah."
Nobara and Fushiguro grin from the sidelines.
Cut to both of them: "No way."
---
Saiki's Turn.
Saiki: "This is stupid."
A massive screen drops down. Teruhashi's face appears, smiling brightly. "Hi! I heard there was a dating show, so I joined! Hehe~ I did a lot of research and heard Saiki was participating!"
Saiki glares, sighs... and blows up the room.
---
Kazuma screams: "HEY! I DIDN'T EVEN GET MY TURN, YOU ASS!"
Subaru pats his shoulder. "Nice try, bro. But maybe... it's just not meant for us."
Kazuma looked at the sky and screamed. "DAMN IT ALL!"
---
End.