Water can't wash away memories, no matter how hot you make it or how long you stand under the spray. I've been in this shower for almost an hour, letting scalding water pound against my skin until my fingertips pruned and the hotel's cheap soap bar dissolved to nothing. But Morgan's touch still lingers like a phantom, her voice still echoes in my head, and the horrific truth I discovered on her phone still burns behind my eyelids whenever I close them.
I shut off the shower with a heavy sigh, steam billowing around me as I reach for the hotel towel. It's scratchy against my skin, nothing like the plush Egyptian cotton at Morgan's beach house, not that I'd ever want to feel those again. Everything about that place had been a carefully constructed trap, designed to ensnare me in comfort while she pulled my strings.
After drying off, I slide back into the clothes I was wearing earlier, since this is all the property I have left now. The hotel bathroom feels claustrophobic suddenly, the mirror fogged with steam hiding my reflection, small mercies, I suppose. I'm not sure I want to see the man looking back at me right now.
I open the bathroom door, releasing a cloud of steam into the cooler air of the hotel room. The cheap overhead lights cast everything in a harsh yellow glow, making the generic landscape paintings on the wall look even more depressing.
Lana's sitting on the edge of the bed, her hair damp from her own shower. She's stripped down to just a white t-shirt and panties, her long legs stretched out in front of her as she scrolls through her phone. My breath catches in my throat at the sight of her. Despite everything we've been through, she's still impossibly beautiful.
She looks up as I enter, setting her phone aside. "Feel any better?"
"Not really," I admit, running a hand through my wet hair.
She nods, understanding in her eyes. The bruising around her nose has already started to bloom in purples and blues, but the swelling isn't as bad as I feared. She's cleaned away all the blood, her skin now pink and fresh from her shower.
"At least your nose doesn't look broken," I say, my voice sounding hollow even to my own ears.
"Yeah, thank god." She pats the space beside her.
I hesitate for a moment before crossing the small room and sitting beside her. The mattress dips under my weight, old springs creaking in protest. We sit in silence for a beat, both of us lost in our own thoughts.
"I don't know what's real anymore," I confess, staring at the worn carpet beneath my feet.
Lana's hand finds mine, her fingers intertwining with my own. The familiar touch sends a jolt through me, comfort and anxiety tangled together.
"This is real," she whispers. "I'm real."
I turn to look at her, finding those blue eyes I once knew better than my own. Without thinking, I lie back on the bed, my body suddenly heavy with exhaustion. The ceiling has a water stain in the corner, shaped vaguely like Australia.
Lana doesn't waste a moment. She curls against me, her body pressed firmly to mine as her arms wrap around my torso. Her warmth seeps through my clothes and the scent of hotel shampoo mingles with her familiar perfume. My heart hammers against my ribs as she nestles her head against my chest.
Her body feels like home, a memory of safety I'd almost forgotten. But something inside me recoils, a wounded animal flinching from even the gentlest touch.
"Lana, I'm not sure..." I begin, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Adam, please," she cuts me off, desperation cracking through her words. "It's been a month since I've felt you." Her voice drops to a pleading whisper that makes my chest ache. "A whole month thinking I'd lost you forever."
Before I can respond, her lips find my neck, then my jaw, then my cheek, quick, urgent kisses that leave trails of fire on my skin. Her hands slide under my shirt, trembling slightly as they map the contours of my chest.
"Do you know how much I missed you?" she breathes against my ear, her voice breaking. "How many nights I lay awake, wondering where you were, if you were okay?"
I close my eyes, overwhelmed by the sensations flooding through me. Part of me wants to surrender to this, to Lana, to the comfort of something familiar after everything that's happened. But Morgan's betrayal is too fresh, the wounds too raw.
I gently push her back, creating just enough space between us to breathe. "Lana, wait."
She stares at me, her eyes glassy with unshed tears, chest heaving. For a moment, I think she might break down completely.
"Adam," she whispers, her voice cracking with raw emotion. "I know everything is completely fucked right now. I know the timing couldn't be worse. I know we're both damaged and confused, and everything's complicated." Her fingers trace my jawline with trembling intensity. "But tonight... please. Let's just find comfort in each other. I'm begging you."
The desperate sincerity in her voice hits me like a physical blow. This isn't Morgan's calculated seduction. This is Lana, messy, imperfect, but utterly real. Her touch doesn't feel like ownership. It feels like a connection. The difference is staggering.
I open my mouth to respond, but before I can form words, her lips crash against mine with desperate hunger. Something primal ignites inside me, burning away hesitation and doubt. My hands tangle in her damp hair, pulling her closer as our mouths battle for dominance.
I flip her onto her back, pinning her wrists above her head with one hand while the other tears at her shirt. She arches beneath me, gasping as I rip it off her, exposing her bare breasts to the cold hotel air.
Her tongue slips into my mouth. I groan against her lips, my body responding with a fierce hunger that surprises me. My hands slide down her back, finding the curve of her ass and pulling her tighter against me. The feel of her body, so familiar yet somehow new, sets my blood on fire.
"Take it," she whispers fiercely. "Take everything you need. Show me how angry you are."
I lower my head, capturing one pink nipple between my teeth. She cries out, her body bucking beneath mine as I suck hard enough to leave marks. My hand finds her other breast, squeezing roughly as my thumb circles her nipple.
"I thought about this every night," she confesses, her voice breaking. "Touching myself, pretending it was you."
Her words send a fresh wave of heat through me. I release her wrists to tear at my own clothes, desperate to feel her skin against mine. She helps, yanking at my shirt while I struggle with my belt.
"Hurry," she urges, her fingers fumbling with my zipper. "I need you inside me."
When we're finally naked, I pause for a moment, drinking in the sight of her spread beneath me. Her blonde hair fans out across the pillow, her chest heaves with each breath, and between her thighs, I can see how wet she is for me.
"You're so fucking beautiful," I whisper, the words torn from somewhere deep inside me.
I position myself between her thighs, the head of my cock pressing against her entrance. She's so wet, so ready, but I hesitate, our eyes locked in silent communication.
"Please," she breathes, reaching up to cup my face. "Come home."
I push forward in one smooth thrust, burying myself to the hilt inside her. We both cry out at the feeling, tight, wet heat enveloping me, stretching her around my thickness.
The sensation of being inside Lana again overwhelms me completely. Something breaks open inside my chest, all the pain, fear, and betrayal crash through my soul. Before I realize what's happening, hot tears are streaming down my face, my shoulders shaking with silent sobs as I thrust into her.
"Adam?" Lana's voice cuts through the haze, her hands coming up to cradle my face. "Baby, what's wrong?"
I can't answer, can only shake my head as I continue to move inside her, my hips working on autopilot while my emotions unravel completely. Her warm, slick walls grip me tightly with each thrust, the physical pleasure a stark contrast to the emotional storm tearing through me.
"Oh, baby," she whispers, her expression softening into something tender and possessive. She opens her arms wide, her smile warm and inviting despite the bruising on her face. "Come here."
I collapse against her chest, burying my face in the crook of her neck as I continue to pump into her. Her arms wrap around me tightly, one hand stroking my hair while the other trails soothingly down my back. The feeling of being held, really held, while I'm at my most vulnerable sends fresh tears spilling down my cheeks.
"I've got you," she murmurs against my ear, her legs wrapping around my waist to pull me deeper inside her. "Everything's going to be okay now. I promise."
Her pussy clenches around me with each thrust, hot and tight and perfect. I can feel her wetness coating my balls as I drive into her harder, seeking comfort in the familiar heat of her body.
"That's it," she encourages, her nails digging into my back. "This is your home, Adam. This is where you belong."
The dam inside me breaks completely. I'm sobbing uncontrollably now, tears streaming down my face and onto Lana's skin as my hips stutter and my release builds. I've never cried during sex before, but I can't stop the flood of emotions pouring out of me.
"I'm cumming," I choke out between sobs, my voice cracking and raw.
"Yes, Adam, give it all to me," Lana whispers, her voice honey-sweet as she cradles my head against her chest. Her fingers thread through my hair with surprising tenderness. "Let it out, baby. All of it."
My entire body shudders as I empty myself inside her, my release intensified by the emotional storm raging through me. I cry harder with each pulse, each spurt of warmth filling her deepest parts.
"I love you so much, Adam," she murmurs against my ear, her lips brushing my skin. "I've always loved you. Only you."
Her walls flutter around me, milking every last drop as she holds me tight against her body. There's something possessive in the way her legs lock around my waist, keeping me buried inside her.
"No one will ever hurt you again," she promises, her voice taking on a strange, fierce quality that I'm too overwhelmed to fully register. "I'll protect you from now on. Forever."
I collapse fully against her, spent and emotionally raw. My tears gradually slow as she strokes my back in gentle circles, whispering sweet reassurances against my temple.
"You're mine again," she breathes so softly I almost don't catch it. "Right where you belong."
I should find her words unsettling after everything with Morgan, but instead, they wrap around me like a warm blanket. In this moment, I need to belong to someone safe, someone familiar.
"Stay inside me," she whispers as I fall asleep in her arms.