Alright, so I must do more than should be remotely necessary to solicit Satanist help. They are asking me to prove how evil I am by punching a pregnant woman in the mouth. And it's not working out in the worst way. They're helping too hard. They literally found a pregnant Satanist.
"Punch me in the face, pussy!" Pregnant Satanist says angrily.
Lucius sighs sadly.
"I'd rather not, I'm trying to get groceries." Lucius says bitterly.
"But like, I need an abortion." Pregnant Satanist says nervously.
"Come on Lucius, do ittttt." Lucius's Mom whines desperately.
Lucius's mom is a tall tanned woman with black hair and black eyes wearing a red dress and black high heels.
"Mom, I'm not the Anti-Christ. Why not try stressing yourself out by driving in the oncoming lane on the highway? I hear stress causes miscarriages." Lucius complains.
Lucius facepalms, and sighs angrily. The Pregnant Satanist and the Mother both smile happily at Lucius.
"You are the Anti-Christ. I'm so proud of you." Lucius's Mom says happily.
"I hate this town and my family." Lucius says angrily.
So like yeah, everything is fucked. Thanks to that debacle, I now have a gang of twenty buff guys in black leather with gimp masks on wielding assault rifles. It's rad and weird. Apparently this is the result of me being a fuckboy.
"Hey, take off that mask. Wear a helmet instead." Lucius says angrily.
"No, you're a pervert Master. We must reflect that as we are the vessels of your despair, evil, and lust." Satanist Soldier says proudly.
"SHUT UP!" Lucius yells angrily.
So yeah, they are reflecting my personality in really stupid ways. I can't stand it, I'm only using them if absolutely necessary. And even then, they are expendable.
Moving on, my Satanists have also been helping monitor the Desert Vultures. They have reported to me that their workers all work at the local Lowbo's. A hardware store chain. Typical, they're a front for immigrants run by immigrants. America is truly being scammed.
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Lucius rolls up to the Lowbo's with a Satanist in the passenger seat, with C4 strapped to his chest.
"So. How do you feel about meeting Satan?" Lucius says tensely.
"I'm gonna suck his dick." Suicidal Satanist says proudly.
"Damn straight." Lucius says, nervously amused.
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Yeah, I took advantage of my own psychology to use mental tricks on my Cultist so he would let me make him do a suicide campaign. Basically he's primed into believing that when he dies, he gets to fuck Satan. It's weird and rad.
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They arrive at the Lowbo's. Lucius points at the crew of immigrants sitting outside the Lowbo's, smoking weed by a food truck.
"Blow them up, then suck Satan's dick." Lucius orders firmly.
"Sir, yes sir." Suicidal Satanist says dutifully.
The Satanist loyally ran to the immigrants, and blew himself up along with the workers. Lucius cackles maniacally.
"What a fucking loser! Just died to suck Satan's dick and fuel my plans! What a dumb, sacrificial pawn!" Lucius yells with amused disdain.
Then Lucius rides away.
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With that latest blow to the Desert Vultures, they're running scared. And the Satanists are pleased indeed. Truly I am a menace to society. Now it's time for the next plan, wait in plain sight with my gang. Just like a true fuckboy manipulator like yours truly would do. I'm about to show these Vultures who the King of this damn town is. About to show these fuckers I got the right to kill in plain sight.
I'm posted up on the Old Man's front lawn. The leader of this enemy gang. We're smoking weed and listening to heavy metal. I don't even like heavy metal, it's just what we're doing. And of course, he's pissed off cause he thinks he can do what he wants too.
It's a thin man with tanned skin in a black suit with golden lines. Apparently he's come out to play in style. I did too. I'm in a red suit with a black bulletproof vest over it.
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"YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCKING TAKE OVER MY NEIGHBORHOOD!? I'M THE ORIGINAL KING OF THIS FUCKING TOWN! THIS TOWN DANCES AT MY FINGERTIPS! YOU SATANISTS ARE FUCKING NEW TO THIS TOWN!" Desert Vulture King Marcus Mernandez yells furiously.
"Yeah, what about it!?" I yell cockily.
"I called the cops in for a noise complaint. I'm doing this like a citizen." Mr.Mernandez says angrily.
Lucius rolls his eyes and turns his music off. Then flips off Marcus.
"We ain't leaving." Lucius says firmly.
"Now it's loitering. Fucking pricks." Mr.Mernandez says angrily.
Lucius rolls his eyes. Then suddenly gunfire rains out upon Lucius and the Satanists. But then something absurd happens that reminds Lucius this town is utter madness. The Satanists do weird hand gestures and suddenly a wall of black smoke emerges around the Satanists to block the bullets. Lucius sighs angrily.
"Look, I'm banning magic! No magic!" Lucius yells angrily.
"Ignore the Master, he's still new." Satanist Leader says firmly with a wry grin.
"Yeah, well I ain't fucking new. Martha get out here and smite this guy with the power of Jesus." Mr.Mernandez says angrily.
Suddenly an old mexican woman runs out from Mr.Mernandez's house and throws jingle bells filled with vicious, cruel curse words. Otherwise known as cheap curse jars. They are a Spiritualist's weapon of pure malice. And Lucius loves them. He thinks they're hysterical. The sight of them impresses him and gets him high.
"AH GOD, THE CURSE JARS ARE HYSTERICAL! WHAT BULLSHIT IS SHE SAYING ON THEM!?" Lucius yells like a happy madman.
A Satanist picks one up and frowns at Lucius.
"It says you fucked my wife." Satanist A says angrily.
Lucius shrugs.
"It's possible. I love goth chicks. And in my cult, we're all whores. What, you want a blowjob? If it's my cult still, we got whores for that." Lucius says happily.
"NO! WE DID THAT WITH YOU THE LAST TIME WE HAD YOU AS THE ANTI-CHRIST! WE'RE BEING WARRIORS AND TAKING OVER THE TOWN THIS TIME!" Satanist Leader yells furiously.
Lucius focuses on this man, lowering his red sunglasses to stare with amused annoyance at this man. The Leader is a tall black man with red dreads. Each dread is laced with barbed wire, and on the ends are sharp letter openers. He wears a red trench coat covered with black skulls and 6s. Black pants with red kneepads. Black elbow pads. All pads have steel spikes on them. And he has black combat boots with knives sticking out the heels and the toes. He wields two large revolvers with a assault rifle on his back.
"Yeah, you look like a Warrior. So why you want to take over the town? I'm doing it so I can date whoever I want. And cause I want to make more money." Lucius says cockily.
"Lust and greed. Typical Lucius." Satanist Follower says happily.
"Well I hate that! I want to murder people for fun! For the love of combat!" Satanist Leader says furiously.
"What's your name bro?" Lucius asks nicely.
""I am Aeshma, the current reincarnation of this Demon." he says proudly.
"Alright, what's your human name?" Lucius deadpans.
"Jamar Luigison. My dad was Italian, my mom was black." Aeshma says proudly.
"WHO THE FUCK CARES!? THEIR STUPID FORCEFIELD IS DOWN, FIRE!" Mr.Mernandez yells furiously.
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They fire again. This time a wall of Satanists surround my car to block the gunfire. I love and hate it. There's blood all over my corpses now. Also the town is getting weird now. Cause the Satanists are changing on me. Their skin is turning red and their teeth are sharp.
Alright, I need y'all to roll with me on this shit. The town has real magic. It's fucking bullshit cause sometimes it's also advanced technology. Or sometimes it's advanced psychology tactics that someone like me can only use.
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"Fuck it, I'm doing my Celebrity bullshit." Lucius says bitterly.
Lucius tilts his head back, closes his eyes, and shouts "WHO WANTS TO GET LAID!?"
Suddenly his car is surrounded by every man who needs a girlfriend on all the teams, and even some of the formerly scared civilians ran from their homes. Lucius sighs and puts on a fake grin.
"Alright ladies and gentleman. First step to keeping your girl is being the richest dude in town! So go get rich!" Lucius explains angrily.
Some of them run off, while many remain.
"We're rich, what's next kid?" Mr.Mernendez says angrily. "Wait, why am I even paying attention?" he says, confused and angry.
"Next step is to be interesting. Gotta get some spice to your life to have things to talk about. But thankfully you're gangsters, so talk about crimes. Bitches love criminals. Cause you're rich." Lucius says happily.
Lucius poses, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back a bit with a amused grin. Everyone looks at each other, then starts texting their girlfriends or boyfriends. Within minutes, shit begins going wrong.
"My girlfriend dumped me cause I sell meth." Desert Vulture Guy says, slightly sad.
"Sucks to suck. Guess she ain't a good girl for criminals." Lucius says calmly.
They all stare at him tensely.
"You fucking sabotaged us, didn't you?" Mr.Mernendez says angrily.
"No, you guys just didn't have the right girl. You need a bad girl. Y'all had good christian girls." Lucius says with certainty.
Desert Vulture Guy shrugs and nods.
"He's got a point. She goes to church sometimes, I should've seen it coming." he says annoyedly.
"Who all had good christian girls?" Mr.Mernandez says tensely.
Everyone looks at each other, then glares at Lucius. Who grins malevolently.
"If you kill me now, they will know. The cops." Lucius says cockily.
Lucius flips everyone off, gets in his car, and drives off. So do the Satanists. While the Desert Vultures seethe and assess their situation.
"So like, he got us. We're screwed. My girlfriend might snitch." Desert Vulture Bro says nervously.
"Who cares, I'll just bribe the cops. I own this town." Mr.Mernendez says with cocky anger.
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As unexpected with society, my latest play has caused consequences. The Desert Vultures are motivated with fresh amounts of vengeance in their hearts as I have caused many breakups. Truly a tragedy. And now they want me dead.
As I speak, currently a gang of Desert Vultures are trying to break into my panic room. I'm making the Satanists deal with it cause I hate magic. And one of them wants to try making zombies work. I hate him, but they won't listen to me and stop doing it. So now I deal with it by hiding in the panic room for a bit. It's not even working, I checked the cameras. They die around the five minute mark after being shot in the heart. And they refuse to move any way. One guy even lit a blunt before he died. And Aeshma ended up smoking that thing. I was annoyed, I'm out of weed.
So now the next phase of the plan will be psychology. I am having the Satanists start a street fighting tournament for the sake of harassing the gangs in town. All of them at the same time. Basically I have them send pictures of people being knocked out on the street, and we send them money for the knockout. Good money, $100 a knockout. It might work as long as we don't get trolled.
Da da. Da na da na nuuuunnnnn. There be men on the street, they be fighting for the money in the sunlight. Chaos reigns, blood is flowing all on the ground. It sounds like there's a riot for the money. For the bag. Until the money bag sags, there will be blood!
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Lucius stands on the city streets, watching the riot ring out across the city. He has realized he has made a horrible mistake he must both take advantage of and eventually get a hold of. However, a woman behind him is laughing at the sight. Lucius turns and smiles. She's a familiar role that has taken her role too seriously for a long time. And he lets her.
She is a tall pale girl with good muscles. She wears a black hoodie crop top with the upper half of a red pentagram on the front. She has a tattoo of a strange magical circle on her stomach and teasingly down below her shorts, along her hips. She wears red shorts that end on her thighs. She wears black stockings with stars cut out of her leggings. And black sneakers with red soles.
"Hey Lilith. I'm still surprised you became a Satanist because-" Lucius says happily.
"Yeah, because I'm your first girlfriend. Shut up, who cares? What the fuck did you do this time?!" Lilith says happily.
Lucius hesitates for a moment. Then shrugs and makes jokes.
"Just fucking causing chaos, my usual brand of shit. This time it's a street fighting tournament." Lucius says warmly.
Lilith giggles and points down the street.
"Go take care of your business. What's your plan for this anyway?" Lilith says amusedly. "Do you even have a plan or are you just doing your usual thing and winging it like a dumbass?"
Lucius sighs and hangs his head low.
"I don't have a plan. I just had the next step in mind." Lucius says sadly.
"Go rob the Old County Bank. Mr.Mernendez has his money there. It's been abandoned because I ordered the men to fuck it up. Just go help get the money. Get a truck over there." Lilith says with amused cockiness.
Lucius's jaw drops. He points at her, sputtering on his words.
"How-how-how'd you figure that ou-out?" Lucius says, confused.
"I just sucked some dicks, what about it!?" Lilith says with proud anger.
Lucius growls angrily then facepalms.
"This is what I get for making my cult a bunch of whores. My girlfriend is now a manipulative whore." he complains bitterly.
Lucius sighs and begins walking off. He's got a bank to rob. He gets in his car and drives off.
He gets to the bank within a few minutes. Currently there is a gunfight with Mr.Mernendez and his men versus the Satanists versus the Police versus the Banker's Militia.