"I'm not going."
"Why not?! Kazawa, help me out here!"
"How many times has this been?" Kazawa switched the phone to the other side, holding it between his shoulder and cheek, and picked up his textbook again. "Who was it that made me write only two lines of homework?"
"Ahahaha…" Conan's childish voice came through the receiver with an awkward laugh.
Teitan High wasn't exactly a typical elite school—homework wasn't that heavy. But yesterday, Kazawa had barely written anything before the Kudou family showed up with their usual chaos. He hadn't even cleaned up his desk before dashing out the door. It got so bad that two employees called to ask what was going on.
"And aren't you relying on me a bit too much?" Kazawa twirled his gel pen, squinting. "I don't feel like you're the type who takes friends along for things. Could it be that you're using this as an excuse to mark your territory…"
The two times Conan had actively asked Kazawa for help both happened after his disguise was blown—each time involving something that might mess up the relationship between Mouri Ran and Kudou Shinichi.
Let's not forget that Conan was famously hard-headed. If he wasn't, and didn't keep rushing off to do crazy things on his own, this manga wouldn't have even gotten started. The fact that he kept asking Kazawa for help? Totally out of character.
Kazawa figured there was definitely some "friends' girlfriends are off-limits" logic involved here. After all, Kazawa was not only Ran's next-door neighbor now, but also her classmate—and very possibly the most handsome guy she interacted with. If Kazawa was seen as someone who respected their relationship, then there'd be no risk of things going the wrong way.
"No way! You're reading too much into it!" Conan was glad they were talking on the phone. If Kazawa were staring at him in person, his guilty look would've been exposed in one second flat. "It's just—you're close by. Easier this way…"
No more freebies. Kazawa named his price: "Alright, how about this—you help me with two subjects' worth of homework, and I'll go keep watch for you."
Conan was stunned by how shameless that was, blurting out, "Huh?! You want an elementary schooler to do a high schooler's homework?!"
"You're only small physically—your brain didn't shrink, did it? These assignments would've been yours anyway. Now you wanna play the elementary schooler card? Since when does an elementary schooler care about a high schooler going on a date?"
Kazawa didn't feel embarrassed at all. He even added, "Who was it that messed me up so bad I only just started my homework today—and now I'm gonna stop again?"
"I haven't even finished my homework yet…"
"I can do yours too," Kazawa offered without a hint of pressure.
Could you even compare high school and elementary school workloads?! Just imagining a high schooler and an elementary schooler swapping homework made Conan's temples throb. Way too weird.
But he had no room to negotiate—this was totally a seller's market.
"…I'm not doing English," Conan made a final stand.
"No problem. I already finished English," Kazawa replied cheerfully, gathering his books. "Wait at the intersection—I'm on my way."
"Ran's really dressed up today," Kazawa commented, trailing behind her from afar with Conan.
Ran had specially put on a full skirt outfit with a coat today. Her whole look was elegant and refined—totally different from her usual style.
Conan nodded heavily. "She even said it was to 'go meet Shinichi'. Hmph. She never dresses up like that when she's going out with me."
Kazawa patted him on the shoulder, offering a half-hearted bit of comfort. "Investigating cheating and mistresses is a must-have skill for every private detective. Just think of it as sharpening your craft."
"Who wants to sharpen that kind of skill?!" Conan swatted his hand away. "I-I'm just worried she might run into some sketchy guy!"
Kazawa didn't call him out on his stubbornness, just laughed in schadenfreude.
The second he heard the phone call, Kazawa knew what this scene was. Ran had said she was going to meet "someone very important" and told Conan it was a date with Kudou Shinichi. The real Kudou Shinichi, now stuck in a child's body, was of course instantly struck by lightning and insisted on tagging along.
But in truth, Ran was going to meet her mother, Eri Kisaki. Since her parents had been separated for so long, Ran didn't want to explain and used a fake excuse to slip out.
Still, that didn't stop Kazawa from watching Conan's reactions for fun.
"If Ran finds out later, just say you wanted to go for coffee. Don't let anything slip," Conan muttered as he outlined the plan. "And try to sneak a bug on her table…"
"Are Agasa-hakase's gadgets really meant to invade people's privacy like this?" Kazawa hesitated, but gave in under Conan's intense stare. He raised both hands in surrender. "Fine, fine, I'll plant it."
Just like how Ran would lose her mind whenever she thought she saw "Shinichi's girlfriend," Conan activated full-on love rival mode—completely irrational. Kazawa wasn't about to waste his breath arguing with vinegar kings. If Conan said so, then fine—it was so.
They waited a moment before entering the café Ran had gone into. Taking advantage of her looking down at the menu, they walked past her table. Kazawa gave his wrist a flick, slipping the bug into a vase of decorative flowers on the table. Then, he casually pulled Conan to a table at the far end, perfectly positioned to observe both Ran and anyone coming through the door.
Conan's love radar was on max alert. He kept scanning the surroundings, jerking his head toward the door whenever the bell rang.
Clumsy average-looking guy—nah, no way Ran would fall for that.
Scruffy old dude—not happening, skip.
That young guy with long hair—hmm, not bad-looking, but too greasy. Looks like a sleazebag. Ah—he's walking toward Ran! Could it be…? Oh, looks like just a pickup attempt. Wait, that's not okay either!
Conan practically had flames coming out of his back. Kazawa sipped his latte, totally uninterested in a kid's romantic worries. He remembered there was a murder case tied to this outing and stood up. "I'm going to the bathroom. Good luck."
Conan was too focused on watching Ran to care or even register what Kazawa said.
This café's bathroom had fully enclosed stalls—not split into male and female sections.
Kazawa remembered the trick in this case. The victim was stabbed outside first, then shoved through the gap between the door and ceiling to land inside the stall.
So as long as the murder hadn't happened yet, staying outside longer might actually prevent it.
He opened the bathroom door—no blood leaking from under any stall doors. That was a relief.
Then again, blood takes time to seep out. Better check each one, just in case.
When he reached the third stall, he noticed the indicator wasn't showing "occupied," but the door wouldn't budge, like something heavy was blocking it from inside. He let out a sigh.
The Grim Reaper aura seemed to have grown stronger—or maybe, just maybe, mystery manga had some kind of unspoken dignity. You couldn't keep interrupting murders over and over. Kazawa figured he'd shown up early enough, but the person was already dead…
Forget it. He'd give the door a token push. Without visible blood, calling the cops now would just make him look crazy.
"Anyone in there?" Kazawa knocked politely and gripped the handle. Then he gave it a few polite tugs.
Then, either his strength suddenly shot up, or the door had just been hanging on by a thread—because with just those tugs, the hinges gave way.
And just like that, a wide-eyed, horrified corpse toppled straight out of the stall—right onto Kazawa's shin.
Inside the stall, the walls were splattered with blood. Fresh blood still flowed from the victim's body. As she fell, it sprayed onto Kazawa's chin. A blood-stained knife clattered to the floor by his feet.
Kazawa stood there, holding the entire door.
"…Ugh."
"AAAHHH—!!" Before he could react, a sharp scream rang out. The long-haired guy from earlier, now walking into the bathroom, collapsed in shock. "M-Murder! Murder!!"
Kazawa looked at the door in his hands, then at the dead body leaning on his leg.
What the hell? Did they have to make him the suspect this time?