This chapter has been updated to include more character presence and interactions—Kirika, Aika, Riku, Amane, and other student council members now play active roles in the chaos! Their appearances help build continuity, deepen the comedy, and enrich the Club Combat Cup experience. No major plot changes were made—just more faces joining the madness!
Eiji's eyes fluttered open to birds chirping sweetly outside his dorm window. Sunlight poured in through the blinds like a divine spotlight, warm and almost suspiciously cheerful. He blinked—once, twice.
"...Am I dead?" He sat up slowly, taking in the peacefulness of the scene—the gentle sway of the curtains, the perfectly made bed (which, weirdly, he never made), and the inexplicably fresh scent of lavender in the air.
He looked down at his body. No wounds. No burns. No bruises. Not even a single paper cut. "I knew it. I died. I died and went to heaven."There's no way I would have survived something like that. He raised his hands, half-expecting to see them glowing.
"I always thought heaven would have more boobs, but I'll take it."
Then, just as he was about to bask in his divine reward, a chilling voice echoed, and a door opened, and there was Miya.
"You are awake, huh? You pass out from just a little lightning pressure, pathetic. And here I am. I'm surprised someone like you possesses Arknexus gear. Pathetic.
" He screamed like a goat being exorcised. "NO! SHE'S IN MY ROOM! There's no way Miya would come to my place; this is a dream.
I should see whether it's a dream or not. Miya said I can help you with that, and then she slaps him hard. "Aaaugh!" he flinched despite nothing happening. He patted himself down frantically. "W-Where's the taser?! I felt it!"
Now you are so ready, the president has summoned us. One breath in. Click. He opened the door—— and found a bright yellow Post-it note stuck inside the refrigerator panel. "I didn't kill you. Be grateful. – Ayaka " Eiji let out the world's most fragile squeak and fell backward. "She's terrifying. I am thankful I get to live." He lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling with the thousand-yard stare of someone who had just survived a supernatural drive-by. "Wow, she is one heck of a mystery...? I thought she was a significant sis type, but I didn't know she was terrific yesterday. But above all, she's hot. She had a beautiful face and a great figure rivaling even Seraphina's. The birds outside chirped again. Cheerfully. Mockingly. He slowly dragged himself back to bed, curled up like a shrimp, and stared at the closet door like it would sprout legs and come after him. "She lives rent-free in my nightmares..." he muttered, eyes hollow. Then, his gaze drifted to the closet again. "...and my closet."
Eiji strode confidently into school, backpack slung over one shoulder, his usual smirk ready to charm or annoy anyone in a ten-meter radius. Birds chirped. The sun shone. He felt good until he took his first step into the main hallway. Every head turned. Girls gasped. Boys smirked. Someone in the distance dropped their juice box. And then came the whispers.
"That's him."
"The guy who peeked at Ayaka while she was bathing." "They say he came back from the dead... smiling." "Must've liked it." Eiji froze.
"…Excuse me?" A trio of girls passed by, all giggling and whispering behind their hands. "Kyaa~ It's the bath-peeking devil~"
"Pervert." "Lucky bastard." "Wait, is he into that pain stuff? Because Ayaka doesn't hold back.
" Eiji blinked rapidly, trying to reboot mentally.
"W-What the hell are you people talking about?! I didn't peek at anyone! I was in my room! Meditating! Healing my trauma!" A group of guys cornered him like paparazzi swarming a celebrity. "Dude, respect." "How did you survive the Vice Prez Bath Incident?" "Teach us your ways, oh Great Pervert Master."
"I heard you saw her naked and lived to tell the tale."
"Do you have pictures?!
" Eiji's soul visibly left his body for a moment.
"What pictures?!
There were no baths! No nudity! No voyeurism! Just suffering! Pure, high-grade, concentrated suffering!" He stormed forward, determined to find the source of this blasphemy. That was when Miya popped out from behind a corner like a comedy assassin, sipping bubble tea like this was her drama channel.
"Well, if it isn't the Masochist King himself." Eiji growled. "Miya, tell them I didn't peek!" She shrugged. "I tried. But the rumor's already evolved. Some people are saying you moaned her name in your sleep."
"I choked in my sleep!" "On what, Eiji?" she said sweetly, tilting her head. He turned bright red. "OH COME ON!" Miya patted his back with a grin that was half-evil, half-proud. "Congrats. You're now the official pervert of the school masochism club. They're probably printing your membership card as we speak." "I wanted to be a cool devil king,"
Eiji mumbled in despair. "Not the dominatrix-damaged mascot..." Someone ran by and whispered, "Ayaka left a mark on his back, I heard! Wanna see?
" Another voice added, "
She used her bare hands! Legendary!" Someone even clapped. Eiji screamed internally as he slumped against a locker, hands covering his face. This wasn't high school. This was hell in a uniform.
And the worst part?
He still had a second period with Ayaka. Maybe death was better after all.
The at the Research Club looked unusually ominous that afternoon. The lights were dimmed. A large corkboard loomed behind Seraphina's throne-like chair, covered in colored string and glittery push pins. Eiji stepped in cautiously, only to feel a sudden gust of dramatic tension slap him across the face like a telenovela opening scene. "Welcome," Seraphina purred, steepling her fingers like a villainess who had read one too many strategy manga.
"To the first-ever Club Combat Cup.
" Ayaka and Riku folded their arms, already annoyed. "This again?" Miya munched a spicy rice cracker. "Oh, good. Last time, we nearly destroyed the vending machine wing." Eiji raised a hand. "Sorry—what is the Combat Cup?" Seraphina clapped her hands, and the corkboard dramatically rotated (with creaky reluctance) to reveal a colorful bracket chart and glittery headers like "Conquest of the Bathhouse" and "Kitchen Control Zone."
"It's simple," she declared. "Teams will be formed.
Challenges will be issued. Facilities will be earned. The winners get power, privilege, and priority on the snack list." Miya raised an eyebrow. "So we're fighting… for menu rights?" "And dorm territories," Seraphina added.
"No more cold showers for the weak." "I take back my sarcasm. I'm in." Ayaka sighed but nodded. "If it brings order to this ridiculous school, fine." Then Seraphina turned to Eiji. "And you, my unlucky devil spawn, will lead Team Misfit Mob." Eiji stared blankly.
"Why am I always chosen for things I didn't apply for?!" Seraphina's smile was angelic in the most unholy way. "Because chaos loves you."
The classroom buzzed with static tension. Eiji Kuroryuu, future Devil King and full-time magnet for disaster, stared at the whiteboard like it had just declared war on his dignity.
Council Combat Cup – Match 1: Research Club vs Student Council
The names had been listed in stylized, magical font:
Research Club Roster:
Seraphina Falcor (President)
Ayaka Ryuguji (Vice President)
Amane Yukishiro
Miya Tsukihiro
Riku Shinseira
Eiji Kuroryuu
Student Council Roster:
Kirika Barbatos (President)
Aika Lucros (Vice President)
Takeru Voss (Discipline & Tactical Coordinator)
Eliza Meln (Enforcement and Magical Assets)
Three unnamed extras labeled "Support Staff."
Eiji groaned as he slid into his seat, dragging his forehead across the desk. "This is doomed."
Miya twirled her icy strand of hair. "You say that like it's new."
Ayaka cracked her knuckles with a faint spark. "You'll get your cape if you survive."
Amane beamed. "We're fighting for pride, tradition, and budget increases!"
Riku Shinseira was doing silent stretches in the background. No one asked why.
Seraphina, ever regal, tapped her staff against the ground. "This isn't just a game. It's a message. They've mocked us, cornered us, and questioned our club's value. Let's give them something to remember."
Changing Room
The smell of fresh detergent and magic hung in the air.
Eiji blinked at his so-called "battle uniform."
It looked like something a tactical magical cosplayer would wear to a very awkward date: a black jacket with glowing purple seams and a label that read Emotionally Reactive. Could you handle a breakup text?
"Why does it have ruffles?"
Seraphina, clipboard in hand, smiled serenely. "Because it reflects your aura."
RIP.
His sleeve exploded.
"WHAT?! I didn't even—"
"Complaints activate enchantments. Please be quiet."
He hissed. "I am not—"
RIP. Pants: dismembered.
He stood in shame shorts, barely clinging to his dignity.
Ayaka stood like a dark goddess beside him, encased in matte black armor.
"Still holding up?" she asked.
"You're dressed like a mecha knight."
He smirked. "Nice dominatrix cosplay, Vice Prez."
FLASH.
Her armor turned into a tight black bikini with spiked boots.
Eiji screamed.
Ayaka screamed.
"I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO—"
"DON'T LOOK!!"
Lightning crackled. Benches shook. Miya conjured an ice wall between them.
"I've seen enough. My retinas are suing."
Eiji sighed. "We haven't even started, and I've already traumatized myself."
The Gymnasium
The gym had been converted into a battlefield of magical absurdity. Floating banners displayed holographic avatars of each team.
A magical fog machine hissed. Colored lights flashed. The banner dropped:
The gymnasium trembled.
Half from the buzz of a thousand excited students crammed into bleachers, half from the ominous aura surrounding two student factions ready to declare war, with rubber balls.
Kirika Barbatos, President of the Student Council, stepped forward. Her combat robes fluttered like something out of a gothic RPG final boss fight. She held a long, whip-like baton. Her calm voice echoed like a verdict.
"Let the match determine which faction deserves dominion."
Aika Lucros, fashionably terrifying Vice President, smirked beside her in a sleeveless enchanted blouse and skintight shorts that shimmered with minor magical reinforcement.
"No hard feelings. Except physically. That's allowed."
Behind them, Takeru Voss, the 2nd year tactical prodigy, adjusted his cyber-glasses and muttered, "Logistics secure. Impact: imminent." He had a belt full of glowing orbs that weren't regulation dodgeballs.
Beside him, Eliza Meln, the enforcer. Blue hair in a braided knot, wand holstered like a gun, and her eyes glowing faintly with enforcement magic. She hadn't spoken. She didn't need to. Her death glare had already registered three detentions.
Across from them stood the Research Club.
Seraphina Falcor raised her staff, her cloak gently glowing. "Begin."
WHISTLE.
BOOM!
A dodgeball, possibly forged in hell, screamed through the air.
It hit Eiji square in the face.
He blinked. Once. Then again. Then he wobbled.
"Why do they look like final bosses?" he mumbled.
"Punishment Box!" Amane's cheerful voice rang out.
From the sidelines, a Miya, ice-cold as always.
"Confess fake love to your enemy."
Aika's smile grew sharper.
Eiji sighed like a dying anime protagonist. He bowed with robotic agony.
"Aika Lucros… I've loved you since you annihilated my confidence."
"Oh? I'll treasure that," she said with a wink.
WHACK.
Ayaka's throw nailed him in the back.
"Maid headband."
A tiara of lace and shame magically appeared on his head.
WHACK.
"Chicken dance. Center court."
Eiji flapped. He clucked. He shamed generations. The crowd lost it.
Riku spun mid-air to avoid a glowing orb, flipping like a K-pop idol. Slimeko, the slime monster, now temporarily classified as a 'club mascot,' devoured two balls whole and burped bubbles.
The silent teleporter appeared behind a council member and teleported him into a locker. Applause erupted.
Ayaka's throws crackled with lightning. Her ponytail whipped like a battle flag.
Miya glided silently across the court. Her ice magic coated the floor, freezing the trajectory of the dodgeballs mid-air. A council member slipped and fell into a snowbank conjured from nowhere.
Then came Takeru.
He adjusted his gloves like he was preparing for heart surgery.
"Trajectory locked. Magical coefficient… balanced."
He hurled.
The dodgeball whistled through the air. Glowing runes spiraled around it. Eiji ducked.
The ball curved.
"Homing?! That's illegal!"
HIT.
Miya picked up her card. "Glitter spray."
A sparkly explosion engulfed Eiji. He emerged, shining like a cursed disco ball.
More chaos. Riku dual-wielded dodgeballs. Eliza Meln countered Ayaka's magic mid-cast with a flick of her wand and a soft, "Violation noted."
Aika deployed illusion clones. Seraphina's staff burst with radiant light.
Balls flew. Spells roared. Miya remained expressionless as she froze a trajectory and redirected it into someone's shin.
Final round.
Eiji alone remained for the Research Club.
On the opposite side: Kirika Barbatos, untouched, poised with a glowing orb that pulsed with arcane wrath.
Time slowed.
Eiji took a deep breath.
He stepped forward.
CATCH.
Gasps. Roars.
Then, the glitter bomb embedded inside the ball detonated.
The gym went silent as Eiji flew backward in slow motion, sparkles trailing like the feathers of a dying phoenix.
He landed with a majestic flop.
Everyone stared.
Then—
"Glitter Phoenix down!" someone yelled.
Laughter erupted.
Seraphina raised her hand. "Research Club wins."
Cheers.
"And Eiji gains +10 Humiliation Resistance."
Eiji twitched. "...Level up…?"
But it wasn't over.
From behind the chaos, Takeru stepped forward.
"We can still claim magical victory," he muttered, summoning a tactical orb laced with auto-track and null-field magic. He launched it toward Seraphina.
Miya's eyes flickered.
She moved.
No flash. No chant.
Just an icicle spear, silent and sharp—
—straight to Takeru's crotch.
His glasses shattered. His soul left his body.
He collapsed.
Even Eliza winced.
Silence.
Then—
Eiji, lying glittered and broken, raised a trembling hand.
"Finish… her… Miya…"
Seraphina turned, staff glowing. "Match complete."
Ayaka stomped forward. "That was so not regulation."
Miya, blank-faced: "Target neutralized."
Eliza: "…Acknowledged."
Aika Lucros giggled. "Ouch. That'll sting for generations."
Takeru groaned, whispering, "Recalculating… life choices…"
Students roared with applause.
Thus ended Match One: Dodgeball.
Research Club: 1. Student Council: 0.
Eiji: mentally scarred. Physically sparkly.
Miya: terrifying.
Takeru: humbled.
Aftermath
Eiji walked down the hall, hoping for peace. The monitors lit up.
🎵 Never Gonna Give You Up… 🎵
His chicken dance. Zoomed-in. Replayed. Meme overlays. Coop edit. Ayaka is a chicken farmer.
Aika walked past. "You're quite the performer."
"I want to transfer schools," Eiji muttered.
Ayaka crossed her arms. "Static reaction."
"You blushed."
"Lightning-related."
Seraphina watched from above, smirking as she replayed the glitter detonation.
"This is only the beginning."
Locker Room
A pink Post-it fell from his locker.
Next Match: Swimsuit Sumo Wrestling.
Good luck. ♥ – Seraphina
Eiji stared.
"I'm going to die in swim trunks…"
Behind him, someone clucked the chicken dance.
"…This school is cursed."
End of Chapter 18