The silence of midnight always unnerved me more than the screams of war.
In war, you knew what to expect. Blades. Blood. Betrayal.
But in silence?
You had time to think.
Time to remember.
Time to regret.
I sat in my chambers, lit only by a half-dead lantern and the glow of strategy maps still pinned across the stone walls. My fingers rested on a letter, fabricated, forged in my own handwriting. A seed of deception, meant for the Holy Alliance to "intercept."
If they believed it, they'd doubt their own high command. Maybe even turn against them.
If they didn't, it was worthless parchment.
But the doubt… the chance… was worth it.
Kaleid entered without knocking. He never knocked. Privacy was, to him, a polite fiction.
"You sent Lucien out with the forged letter", he said, dropping into the chair across from me. "Why not me?"
"Because Lucien looks like a turncoat", I replied, pouring myself a cup of bitterroot tea. "You look like a theatrical disaster waiting to happen."
Kaleid grinned. "You wound me."
"Not yet."
He leaned back. "They say you don't sleep anymore."
I looked up from my maps. "Who's 'they'?"
"The cooks. The guards. The slime demon outside the southern watchtower. Everyone."
I sipped my tea. "Sleep is for the innocent. I'm awake because I'm needed."
"No, Rin", Kaleid said, voice dropping. "You're awake because if you sleep, you dream of them."
I didn't answer.
He was right.
I saw them sometimes, my former comrades. My betrayers.
Elira, with her fake kindness. Dane, with his honeyed lies. The ones who smiled as they handed me over. And I had smiled back, bleeding, broken, too proud to beg.
"I don't dream anymore", I whispered. "I calculate."
A knock interrupted us.
"Enter", I called.
Veyra stepped in, her eyes darker than usual. "There's word from the Holy Alliance. Scouts report internal conflict. A duel broke out between two officers over your forged letter. One is dead."
Kaleid whistled. "Rin, you magnificent menace."
But I felt… nothing.
Not joy.
Not guilt.
Just… tired.
"Was it worth it?" Veyra asked. "One dead. Fifty demoralized. A hundred paranoid."
"No", I said, standing slowly. "Not yet."
I walked past them both, out into the cold corridor where banners of ash and fire hung.
"You see", I continued, "victory isn't when they fall."
"It's when they know they will."
Kaleid chuckled behind me. "You should write a book."
I paused. "I will. I'll title it 'How to Burn the World with a Smile.'"
Veyra muttered, "You should title it 'How to Lose Yourself and Still Pretend You're in Control.'"
I smiled.
It almost hurt.
"Let them fall apart", I said softly. "We'll be the storm waiting to catch the pieces."