Have you ever felt like the world should just end? Like, this rapture and end times we were being told about at Sunday school should just happen just so that you could avoid a potential embarrassment? Or wished that World War 3 should kick off so that you necessarily wouldn't need to live your life as it was before the war? Just so you can avoid embarrassment? Yeah. I felt that way a million times over. I pleaded with the heavens to send fire and brimstone like it did in the days of Lot, or at least to turn us all into salt - Lot's wife became my role model overnight.
I just didn't know what to say or do. My hands were still around his neck as he kept blinking questionably at me. " Think, think you idiot. How can we escape this situation?" I asked that silly devil inside me, but he was probably also embarrassed that he had to disappear - at least he could disappear. " Oh no, what should I do now?" I shouted at it this time, just to make sure that he wasn't really in my head again, and no reply came - great, no one is ever really around when you need them the most.
Within a space of ten seconds, my mind had analyzed every probability and certain next of action that I could get myself into, together with the one thousand possible reactions I could get from the stunning secretary for each of the next line of action. It was definitely like running a simultaneous equation with trigonometric functions, and at the same time solving an ordinary differential equation with integral functions before quantifying everything with a six-by-six matrix formula - I never knew such a mathematical problem was solvable, not until that particular moment.
That was it; I found the best line of action with a fairly desirable reaction.
" Oh, oh, oh, baby", I forcefully hugged him again, " thank God you're here baby, these people wanted to deal with me and send me to an early grave", I pretended to cry as I said, creating a scene for every cop in the room to watch.
He was still stunned and stiff as I hugged him, refusing to hug back, so I mellowed and took his hands and placed it around my waist, and then whispered to his ear, " just play along".
" They didn't even care for my mental health, especially him", I pointed at the cop who brought me in, " he nagged me all the way here, even threatening to beat me to a pulp if I didn't comply. He even pointed his gun at me", I was still showing off the baby girl vibe I had.
Everyone gasped at the announcement, looking at the officer in shock. " Yeah, he did the same thing to me when he arrested me last Wednesday!" a guy chipped in; probably someone brought in for questioning like I was, and the heavens knew I was very grateful for what he said, whether he was saying the truth or not.
" You did what to my husband!" Hazel's secretary said and I turned to look at him immediately, completely speechless, " How dare you try to harm my husband?", other cops tried to calm him down but he kept ranting, " no, how dare you!" I was still phased out, completely surprised by his acting skills, and the way he said ' my husband ' made me wish the fact was indeed true; that I was indeed his husband - give me a break, who would reject such a handsome, built, quick-witted gentleman like him for a husband? And I surely deserve good things.
" Calm down man", an older cop said to him as he kept ranting about how his husband - I, was maltreated.
The poor cop whom I was accusing was utterly dumbfounded. I bet he was too surprised about everything that he couldn't even say a word, and I wished it would remain that way.
" I.......I didn't do any of that, he's obviously lying. How could I possibly....no, I didn't do anything", he tried to explain to his colleagues but an old lady cop came and took him to a corner - a smart move, because I was hell ready to say more bad things that he didn't do.
Poor guy. I didn't pity him that much, I just felt sorry for his wife and children who were probably relying on his monthly income to get by because I was pretty sure that after that incident, there was surely going to be a cut in his income; especially for that month - that is if the punishment wasn't more severe.
It was time to add a little spice to the whole drama and give everyone something to watch. I wondered what would be the perfect fit - kiss Hazel's secretary and tell him to calm down? No, that would be too brazen of me. Fall down and start convulsing? That seemed a little bit risky, especially since I didn't really know how to act convulsive. In a space of ten seconds, I thought about more than a million ideas, and then I found one.
I turned to him and held his hand, " it's okay baby, I'm okay, and I don't want to cause a scene, I also will not press charges", I said, acting all week and kind of tipsy.
" No baby, he needs to pay for what he did", he said, acting all mighty and angry.
More spice was needed.
" Oh, oh, baby, please", I said, shaking my head slightly and spinning my eyes until they hid underneath my sockets before falling down to the ground in a pretentious pass out.
" Baby, baby!" he screamed and immediately held me, resting my upper body on his lap, " someone call an ambulance, a paramedic, please do something", he yelled at everyone, and he sounded so serious, making me wonder if he was aware that we were still displaying our acting talents.
Apart from that, I was also scared. He could've just kept on blaming the cop for what happened and try reviving me with water, what if a health officer comes and realizes that there was nothing actually wrong with me? That would definitely not be good.
" Wait, let me take a look at him", a female voice said, and I felt her drawing closer - we were so definitely going to get caught.
I held my breath as she checked my pulse, daring not to blink my eyes or even think of moving; I didn't even think to think about moving. She ventured to check my neck, I don't know, probably checking my temperature, and then touched my head.
" He's just exhausted. Get me a bottle of water", she said and I felt fireworks. How she didn't know I was faking it, I couldn't explain; well, I guess I was indeed a great actor. Hollywood should start getting ready to welcome its newest star. Someone hurried and brought the water and before I could expect anything, every content of the bottle came pouring down on my face.
I gasped and got up furiously as the water blocked my nostrils, plus the fact that I was holding my breath. I was basically panting, trying to catch my breath.
" Oh God", Hazel's secretary said and brought me tightly into his embrace. " Thank God nothing happened to you", he said, almost sobbing. I wasn't so sure it was still a play; it seemed to have transcended into something serious, something that was making my heart beat a thousand times in a minute. I strangely felt safe in his embrace, as if nothing could get to me as far as I was sheltered by his broad shoulders.
" I'm sorry", he muttered when he came back to his senses, releasing me from his grip, and I very much wished that he hadn't.
Everything became awkward, he couldn't meet my eyes again. He helped me to my feet as everyone watched on. We were going to be a topic during their house meeting and I was sure of that.
I couldn't concentrate on any other thing. I barely recall that we sat through with a cop, a much older one who seemed to be the captain. I was provided with a towel and after so much talking with Hazel's secretary, the cop ruled out that I was wrong for driving while on probation, and the fact that I couldn't provide concrete evidence of whatever it was the other cop did to me, they were not going to take the matter seriously.
The whole thing ended amicably, just that I was given a few more weeks of probation and I had to sign some undertakings that I actually didn't read through - great.
After everything, Hazel's secretary accompanied me downstairs and led me to his car. He opened the car door for me and then drove me to the house. The drive was silent and kind of uncomfortable. I was sure we both wanted to say something, but just couldn't find the right words to use, especially after that intense moment.
He drove into the compound and stopped me at the front door.
" We're here sir", he said, looking at me through the rear mirror and I nodded, " um..... about what happened earlier.........."