Dear Journal,
Today, my world got turned upside down. While cooking dinner, McKenzie, my seventeen-year-old daughter, blurted out she was pregnant with tears streaming down her face. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I quickly turned off the stove to go to her.
As I embraced McKenzie, we both ended up on the floor, and she couldn't stop crying. I wiped away her tears, trying to comfort her. I told her that everything was going to be okay and we'd get over this hurdle together.
Between sobs, she dropped another bombshell, that her boyfriend of three years didn't want anything to do with the baby. My anger flared, but I bit my tongue, knowing I had to be careful with my words.
I held McKenzie's face and reminded her that in this life people will always do what they want to do and there was nothing she could do about it. The only actions she could control were her own. I kissed her forehead and told her that her baby would be blessed to have such an amazing mom as herself and even more so an incredible grandma.
I rocked McKenzie in my arms until her tears had subsided. I couldn't help but worry about our finances. Adding another mouth to feed seemed impossible, but I was determined to make it work. I've been working extra shifts at the diner for the past three years since McKenzie's father disappeared without a trace. I reminded myself of my mantra - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Something I've been saying every day since the disappearance of my husband.
One morning he left for work and never returned. We had married right out of high school when I found out I was pregnant, and life as young parents was tough, especially after my own parents disowned me. I won't let McKenzie go through that. I'll help with the baby and find a way to get her into college for a better shot at life.
After calming McKenzie down, I encouraged her to take a shower and made her a cup of tea. Tucking her into bed, I stayed with her until she fell asleep, hoping that tomorrow would bring a bit more clarity and a plan for the challenges ahead.
Yours,
Sasha
Dear Journal,
As the months passed, McKenzie's belly grew, and she chose to retreat indoors, away from prying eyes. I noticed my daughter's withdrawal, understanding that McKenzie needed the outdoors, laughter with friends, and a taste of life. Concerned, I decided to do what was best for McKenzie's well-being.
I called my older sister, Charlotte and arranged for McKenzie to stay with her. Though it meant I would miss my daughter, I knew that McKenzie's mental health was crucial to the baby's well-being.
McKenzie insisted that she'd stay with me but I assured her that we needed to do what was best for her and the baby. I promised to call her every day and when the baby was born she'd come back despite what the neighbours might say. Screw them. They needed to mind their business anyway.
I told McKenzie that her aunt couldn't wait to see her and that she's excited to have some company since she had lost her husband a year ago and they didn't have any children. Of course, McKenzie and I cried, but it was happy tears. Then we packed her up and waited for the arrival of her aunty.
Yours,
Sasha
Dear Journal,
The past few months have been a whirlwind of emotions. With McKenzie out of the trailer it feels so empty, but knowing that she's getting the care and love that she needs at this time helps me throughout the day.
We called each other every day and when my granddaughter, Kiara, arrived I took a few days from work and paid them a visit with some surprise news for McKenzie.
Charlotte and I decided that McKenzie and Kiara should stay at her place since it is way quieter than the trailer park and more spacious. There was also a community college close by and we decided to team up and pay the tuition, and we'd take turns babysitting Kiara.
I'm sure I was more excited than McKenzie when she heard the news. My baby girl was going to be a college student. She promised to make us proud and I believe her, while we promised to be supportive of her.
My baby has her entire life ahead of her! Aim for the stars my love.
Yours,
Sasha
Dear Journal,
The past two years have been a whirlwind. Charlotte and I managed to support McKenzie through the first two years of college, ensuring she wouldn't have to work. However, life had its own plans, and everything took a heartbreaking turn when Charlotte fell seriously ill.
McKenzie insisted that she put college on hold and find a job to help with the growing expenses that her aunt incurred. I wished that I was making enough money to help support Charlotte but I wasn't.
I was uneasy about McKenzie putting her education on hold, but I respected her decision to support her ailing aunt. So McKenzie embarked on a job hunt, hoping to make a difference.
Then, one day, a frantic call from Charlotte shattered their fragile routine and shattered my heart into a million pieces. She informed me that McKenzie had gone to an interview since morning but she had yet to return.
I asked my sister if she went to the police but there was nothing they could do until McKenzie was missing for twenty-four hours.
I felt a sickening sense of déjà vu. First, my husband disappeared without a trace, and now, McKenzie. I couldn't bear the thought of losing my only child. Immediately called my job, explained the situation, and rushed to stay with Charlotte.
That night, I cried and prayed, hoping against hope that McKenzie would walk through the door. But she didn't. Hopefully, she walks through the door tomorrow or at least the police will have some information for us.
Yours,
Sasha
Dear Journal,
It's been six long months since the police stopped searching for McKenzie, but I haven't given up. I've become a digital detective, learning the ropes of social media and plastering McKenzie's picture on every possible site. I moved in with my sister to take care of her and Kiara, and life has taken some unexpected turns but we're handling it as best as we could.
Yours,
Sasha
Dear Journal,
The years have surely flown by. Kiara is growing up to be a beautiful young lady. She looks exactly like Dwayne (although I'll never say this in front of McKenzie) but my goodness she has McKenzie's temperament.
Charlotte's health has deteriorated significantly and the bills are piling up. A friend offered me a job working for a wealthy man who owned a house in another country. The pay is enough to cover my sister's medical bills and hire a nanny for Kiara and help with other expenses around the house. The rich man is rarely home, and my job is to keep the house clean. The man will pay the bills for the house and he'll ensure groceries are delivered every month.
It's a strange twist of fate, this opportunity. I grapple with the conflicting emotions of leaving, knowing that my presence is crucial for my sister and Kiara. But the responsibility weighs heavy, and this job offers a lifeline. I find myself torn between duty and necessity, hoping that, in the end, I'm making the right choices.
Yours,
Sasha
Dear Journal,
One night, I received a call alerting me that the owner of the house, along with his wife, daughter and some men, would be arriving. Little did I know, nothing could prepare me for the moment when McKenzie walked through the door, holding a baby in her arms, accompanied by a man covered in tattoos.
The joy of seeing my daughter after thirteen long years was overshadowed by the harsh reality of her situation. McKenzie's husband, Alejandro Mandera, was a wanted man in multiple countries. His right-hand man, Yellows, followed Alejandro's orders but showed genuine care for McKenzie, especially when Alejandro became abusive due to excessive drinking or drug use.
During our time together, McKenzie and I mastered the art of exchanging notes without the men noticing. I learned that McKenzie's daughter's name was Jasmine, and the day she went for the interview, she was offered a bottle of water which she drank from. She felt groggy after drinking it and woke up in a container with other young women, thrust into a life of a sex worker and a drug mule.
It broke my heart to witness the daily verbal and physical abuse McKenzie endured. She made a promise to me: if she could escape Alejandro's clutches, she would return to college and strive for a life that would make me proud.
Together we hatched a plan to break free from the demon that held her hostage. A specific day was chosen, and McKenzie insisted that Yellows would aid our departure. That fateful night, with Yellows' assistance, all of Alejandro's guards were incapacitated with a well-timed injection, and security cameras were switched off.
Yellows guided us to the dock and ensured our safe passage on a boat back to Los Angeles. As he left, he planned to inject himself, eliminating any suspicion that might lead back to him. I pray it goes well. We're so close to freedom.
Yours,
Sasha
Dear Journal,
The past two weeks at sea have been rough, but we finally made it back to Los Angeles. McKenzie realized heading straight to Charlotte's house to see her and Kiara would be too risky. Yellows had us stay in his bunker for a bit and though the men were nice seeing what they were doing, mainly packing drugs didn't sit right with me. So, we've opted to lay low in a motel.
Our routine has become a careful dance of survival. During the day, McKenzie sleeps while I keep watch, and as night falls, the roles reverse. It's a delicate balance of rest and vigilance, as we navigate the uncertainty of our situation. The shadows of fear still linger, but with each passing day, the weight on our shoulders lightens. We're on a journey towards reclaiming a life stolen from us, and the motel room serves as a temporary sanctuary, shielding us from the demons of our past.
Yours,
Sasha
Dear Journal,
Two months have passed. The anticipation of reuniting with Kiara and Charlotte is overwhelming for McKenzie, who has been separated from them for so many years. Our next move is to return to the trailer park, but cautiously.
We decided on a careful plan: if a few more months go by without any signs of danger, we'll consider reuniting with Kiara and Charlotte.
Anytime we leave the house, we're always in disguise, mindful of the shadows from our past that may still be lurking.
Yours,
Sasha
Dear Journal,
We got back to the trailer about two weeks ago and things have been great so far in terms of not being followed. However,today McKenzie is incredibly shaken up. A federal officer approached her, seeking her help to incarcerate Alejandro. The offer is tempting: her freedom in exchange for testifying against her husband. Yet, deep down, we both know that conventional bars may not be sufficient to contain someone like Alejandro. We're living in constant fear now, realizing that we're no longer safe. If the feds can find us then it wouldn't be long before Alejandro does too. As a result, we've made the difficult decision to move back to the trailer park. It's a stark realization that we may never see Kiara or my sister again.
Yours,
Sasha
Dear Journal,
McKenzie and Jasmine went to the supermarket today. As I glance out the window, my heart drops, two men with high-powered rifles are stationed outside, aiming at the trailer. The air feels heavy, and an unsettling premonition makes me fear that this might be my last journal entry.
In a desperate attempt to divert their attention, I shout McKenzie's and Jasmine's names as if they were inside with me, hoping to catch the men off guard. McKenzie, my love, be strong, and if Dwayne ever wants to be a part of Kiara's life, please let him. Send my love to Charlotte. I love you, McKenzie, and your beautiful babies.
The silence is shattered as the first rifle goes off, followed by the second.
Yours,
Mo