[Do you enjoy other people's suffering?]
—No. I don't like it. I don't care either. Not interested.
[If you had great power, would you try to rule the world?]
What would I gain from that? Sounds exhausting.
—No.
[Tell me, are you afraid of anything?]
Have I ever been afraid of anything? Not that I recall. I guess it wouldn't count as fear, but there is something I refuse to do.
—Live without purpose. Just living because dying isn't the better option.
I had no idea what was going on.
After jumping and my vision going black, I suddenly found myself in this dark space, answering questions like it was part of some sort of form. I couldn't help but answer. It was like someone had grabbed my soul and was forcing me to press "accept terms and conditions" without reading them.
Was this death?
I expected something more dramatic. Maybe fire, screaming, a bit of opera in the background… or better yet, absolute nothingness.
It would be a total nightmare if, after dying, that whole "eternal life" thing was actually real. How do you even commit suicide in an immortal state?
My goal when jumping off the building was simple: to stop feeling. To disconnect. Log out. Delete account.
All doubts vanished when, suddenly, my vision lit up. The darkness disappeared like someone turned on the lights, and I found myself surrounded by hundreds of figures looking down at me with every kind of expression: curiosity, reverence, suspicion, boredom… one of them even stuck out their tongue.
I'm no expert in body language, but it was pretty obvious they were thinking a lot of different things. Though they all had one thing in common: they were all staring in this direction.
They wore long, fancy robes like a high school play about Greek gods. White with golden edges, ridiculously long capes, and headpieces that looked stolen straight from a Hollywood set with a bloated budget.
We were in what I can only describe as the fanciest Airbnb on Olympus: marble columns, absurdly high ceilings with epic frescoes, floating chandeliers, and floors so shiny I could see my reflection… in armor.
When did I put on this armor?
It was the kind of shiny armor that looks like it was polished with unicorn wax. Silver, with a blue cape fluttering even though there was no wind. A sword hung at my side like I had any idea how to use it. Ridiculous.
It looked like the kind of armor I could never actually wear, just from the weight alone, but I didn't feel it at all. It was unsettling.
Then one of the robe guys stood up and declared:
—Welcome, hero! This world needs your help. You have the latent potential to ease the lives of the people. As figures of power, we ask for your aid. In return, we will support and fulfill your wishes as long as it's within our means.
An isekai cliché?
Seriously?
Looks like I'm a "legendary hero" candidate. How thrilling. Just what I wanted before jumping off a rooftop: responsibilities.
I was more worried about dying than about traumatizing others, so yeah, I was definitely not cut out for this hero thing.
I was about to decline with something like, "Not now, maybe in another life," while thinking, I couldn't care less about your world, when I noticed other figures beside me dramatically kneeling.
—I accept!
—I'm in!
—I've always wanted to test my hidden powers!
—As long as there are cute girls, I'll protect whatever you want!
Blah, blah, blah…
They grabbed my hands (without asking, obviously) and raised my arm like we'd just won a tag-team wrestling match.
Looks like I wasn't the only one summoned.
I counted twelve others besides me. They all had that sparkly "I'm gonna change the world" look… how cute.
The Greek god knockoffs nodded in approval, like it was exactly the reaction they'd hoped for.
I sighed.
Why can't an honest man ever get what he wants?
It's unfair. So unfair.
I mean, it's not like I was asking for much.
Dying shouldn't be this hard. No matter how useless or stupid you are, if you're determined enough, you can always die.
So, although a bit frustrated, I didn't care much about what was happening. I could always try again.
Whatever happens here isn't my problem.
The world's in danger? That sucks. But there are twelve others full of energy. They'll probably save this place with motivational speeches and glowing magic.
Now then, how could I kill myself a second time?
I started scanning my surroundings. And there it was: balconies.
Like any good royal hall probably used for fancy ballroom dances in historical dramas, there were huge balconies with views of the city. The kind nobles use to breathe fresh air, gaze at the stars, whisper dirty things, and later meet up in massive gardens perfectly designed for "getting lost" and having an alibi.
Perfect. I'll go up, jump, and done. Second time's the charm. I think.
From up here, we were definitely high enough to make it work.
But just as I was calculating the distance and time it would take me to run over there, one of the old guys shouted:
—Heroes, please present yourselves to the world! Step out onto the side balconies and greet the citizens calling for your help. Then we'll explain the situation and assign you each a kingdom to protect.
How wonderful!
Almost seemed like they were doing it on purpose.
I followed the rest of the "heroes" to the balcony like I was one of them. Best to blend in for now.
—Be careful, heroes! We wouldn't want anyone to fall!
Everyone laughed.
My body twitched slightly and I squinted at the guy who said it. I had a feeling he knew what I was planning. It was too much of a coincidence.
As soon as we stepped outside, a deafening roar of applause hit my ears. It wasn't symbolic. It was almost literally a sonic attack. All the heroes covered their ears like fireworks had gone off right next to them.
When my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw the city.
Giant walls, towers, perfectly arranged streets—a mix of medieval fantasy and city builder simulation. It was impressive, even for me.
I looked down and saw the endless crowd. I also realized we were on some kind of floating castle…
Should I maybe take this whole "hero" thing seriously?
I thought about it for two seconds.
But I didn't feel anything. No excitement, no hope, no purpose.
So, no. Nothing had changed.
I climbed up onto the railing. I unsheathed the sword and let it drop, along with part of the armor. Didn't want to risk it having some kind of "fall protection" magic or automatic safety feature.
After all, this place had summoning spells and real-time translation. It wouldn't be surprising if the armor came with hidden perks.
And then I jumped.
Just like in my world, the cheering turned to horrified screams.
—Kyaaaaa!
—Hero, be careful!
And my old friend, gravity, welcomed me back with open arms.
There was a crowd right below, but I didn't care.
I mean, if they have at least two brain cells, they'll move, right?
No way they'll just stand there while a hero from another world falls on them.
…right?