When a life of contemplation and redemption ends, what's a man supposed to do but feel complacent?
"Am I supposed to settle for a third chance when I've already had a second...? How can I not regret all the people I've left behind?"
Author: Rudeus Greyrat
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In the middle of Sharia winter, people gathered in a house. Why were these people gathering, you might ask? Well, it was for an extraordinary occasion. A party like no other. Ah, who am I kidding?
I, Rudeus Greyrat, was nearing the end of my life, and my family saw fit to bid me farewell and head off to the afterlife.
A little while ago, my legs gave way, so I stayed in bed. Lately, even sitting felt tiresome.
It's funny that, not long ago, I was still running around running errands for Orsted, but an old, senile man like myself can't keep up with the likes of Alek.
"Rudy?" came a woman's voice to my right.
Her hair was as white as snow, her eyes as red as rubies, and her ears as long as knives. Even now, they looked terribly biting.
The woman glared at me. "You should stop thinking that, Rudy. You know you don't have enough energy." Her ears twitched slightly, and although she scolded me for looking at her, she did nothing to stop me.
If anything, she came over and took my hand. It's a shame I couldn't get up, because I would have started nibbling.
"Everyone's here, Rudy," a female voice spoke to my left as I felt the warmth of a hand squeezing my empty one.
Blue braids were the first thing I saw when I looked over and met Roxy's blue eyes. I offered him a simple smile, which he returned, but when I let go of my hand and brought it to my chest, he slapped it away without hesitation, only to take it back in his own. "This isn't the time, Rudy."
"Oh, come on," I pleaded. "How about one last time for your dear student?" My comment drew laughter from everyone, while Roxy shook her head indifferently.
"I think you're too old to be doing this again, Rudeus." A voice called out to me, and after a bit of observation, I found its source.
There, in all her usual splendor, was Elinalise, as young as when I'd first met her. Beside her was an older man, and next to them, a young man holding the hand of a slightly older, brown-haired woman.
In short, it was Cliff, Clive, and my daughter, Lucy.
"I don't think you should talk about Elinalise. "Considering your track record," I retorted, but the woman chuckled as she hugged her husband tighter.
Cliff finally broke away from the elven succubus as he stepped forward and offered a brief prayer. Even after all these years, his faith hadn't waned one bit.
His level of commitment made me envious. "I'm sorry I can't do much more for you, Rudeus, but you know that many of your practices aren't exactly well-received by the Millis faith." His voice was deep and low.
"No problem, but are you sure you should be standing right now, Cliff?" "Damn, you're older than me." The man gave me a mischievous smile.
I guess you could say I still have a job to do, even at my age. He glanced at his wife, and she offered him a teasing smile in return.
He says they still sleep together? Should I be jealous? Yes, I should be.
Of all the friends, I thought he was the most sexually perverted, but I guess in time, everyone reveals their true nature.
"Lucky you!" That was all I offered in the way of sympathy. It was impressive that I was still keeping up with him after all these years, but I guess I'd had a lot of practice.
A moment of silence stretched between us for a while.
"I wish Zanoba were here," Cliff said in a quiet, sorrowful voice.
After what happened to Zanoba, we decided not to talk about him much. Neither of us wanted to relive the sadness of his death day after day.
"To think our school days are so long gone." He pursed his lips. "I'll say hello to Zanoba for you. I'm sure he'll be glad you still remember him." I said, and he nodded with tears in his eyes. Even my respected superior can cry when it comes down to it.
I glanced around the room after Cliff left and saw a person I thought was impossible.
I even had to rub my eyes once to make sure he was in the corner, sitting on the floor. There, I saw a man I thought I wouldn't see that day.
"So you've finally decided to leave the Sword Shrine, Jino?" Normally, any man would have been scared to death by the sight of the Sword God sitting quietly in the corner of a room.
Especially the man famous for never leaving the house. The simple fact that I could call him so casually was just a testament to my many years of knowing him. His presence put me at ease.
Besides, many would think that after so many years he would have weakened, but he did the opposite, and now he's stronger than ever. I honestly don't know how that was even possible.
"Well, there's nothing better to do." His comment sounded calm. Unfortunately, Nina had passed away only a few months after Eris. I'm sure the loss affected him as much as it did me.
"Besides, when your drinking buddy is going to die, the least you can do is watch him go." The gruff man nodded.
Looking at him now, you'd never expect an old man like him to be the Sword God, but when your only reason was to get stronger to fuck the woman you loved, few could stop him.
That he still held the title of Sword God further demonstrated his strength.
It was a shame Zanoba and Doga couldn't be here. The five of us could have had one last drink together, but they were already gone. How long has it been? I can't remember.
Well, I'd better get this show going before everyone gets tired of an old man talking nonstop to them.
I glanced at Lucy and quickly found the rest of my children in the crowd. Ars was sitting against a wall, obviously on guard.
Sieghart was also standing next to Alek, who was by the door. Lily was standing next to her children. Oddly, she wasn't fiddling with anything.
Not far away was my youngest daughter, Christina. She held herself in such high regard that I almost felt the need to bow. However, I suppose this is how a person becomes after being queen of a kingdom.
"Come, children. I'd like to talk for a while." By then, they had all noticed my blank stare, and with a glance between them, they came over and stood beside my bed, all with anxious and sad faces.
Even seeing them like this, all I can think of is a feeling of satisfaction. It's been a good run, hasn't it? My children are all healthy and have lived their lives as they've wanted. This is enough.
"Dad?" Lucy was the first to speak. Her tone was uncertain, and her eyes were watery. Clive touched her shoulder to reassure my daughter a little.
"Lucy, thank you for sticking with me when I was young." Her lip trembled as she began. "Thank you for loving your father despite all his shortcomings." She began to cry a moment later, and Clive hugged her tightly. With a swift gesture, I grabbed the handkerchief from Ars's pocket with gravity magic and wiped her tears away. No one paid any attention to the interaction.
"Ars?" I refocused on my eldest son. He had grown quite handsome. After all, he only understood the good things about Eris and me. Well, I couldn't say it was only the good things, but that was in the past.
"Yes, Father?"
"Keep trying, son." Ars liked to solve things with actions more than words. He was just like his mother in that regard, so I thought that would be enough.
"I'll keep trying my best." His voice trembled slightly as he spoke. Then he lowered his head. I noticed tears welling in his eyes, but I didn't want to mention it.
"Sieg?" The green-haired boy came closer.
"I'm here, Father."
"Have you become a hero yet?" He shook his head to show his disagreement.
"I continue to strive to be one every day."
"Fine," I nodded. "I know you have your own obligations, but if you don't mind, I'd like to ask a favor."
His face remained firm. "Anything."
"Then if you're ever in danger, I'd like you to protect your mother for me. Could you do the same for your father?" He looked at the women beside me and nodded.
"I'll make you proud." I nodded and moved on.
"Lily?" The girl was already crying before I even began to speak. She was very different from her blood sister, that's for sure, but it almost felt good that she wasn't trying to hide behind a facade.
"Y-yes, Dad?" She spoke through sobs as Aisha turned away from Ars to wipe her nose.
"It's no use to me anymore, so do what you want with my magic armor." Lily had been in charge of magic armor research and development for some time now, but I hadn't let her touch my personal suits. I didn't want her turning the Mark Zero into a Gundam. Ah, that does remind me.
"Please don't make a Gundam or anything after I'm gone." It was better to get rid of the weeds before they grew.
"I don't know what that means!" the girl cried as she spoke. A giggle escaped her throat as she did so.
"You can ask Nanahoshi the next time you see her."
Speaking of which. She must still be asleep, considering I don't see her anywhere. It's a shame I had to leave at such a bad time. I would have at least liked to say goodbye to my fellow Japanese, but oh well. These things happen.
I turned my head to my last daughter. "Chris?"
She took a step forward. Edward followed her easily. His dignified bearing remains intact. If I had to say which of my children changed the most, it would be her. I still miss the days when she begged me to play with her or give her a piggyback ride around Sharia. Only to tell me to do it because she hadn't had enough "time with dad" as she called it.
However, her attitude didn't last long, as Sylphie, with an almost reassuring tone, touched the woman's arm upon reaching my side.
Then, her facade instantly crumbled, and she collapsed and fell on top of me, crying and sobbing. "I don't want you to die, Dad! Please stay a little longer!" The woman who had maintained such an ironclad facade just a moment before had crumbled easily because of me.
Honestly, I was happy to die; well, I'm doing it anyway, so I guess technically it's true.
My daughter pleaded with me as her husband rubbed her back. I offered Edward a comforting look, and he shrugged with a slightly grim smile.
I reached up and stroked her head.
"Your dad has to go soon. I'm sorry." She shook her head against my chest as she wiped her tears with the blanket over her. "Thank you for letting me spoil you as much as I wanted when you were little." I stroked her head as I admired the family that I... no, the one Sylphie, Roxy, Eris, and I built together with so much effort. It was only because of the women I loved that I could die like this.
"It's a shame Lara couldn't be here," I breathed as Edward finally picked the still-sobbing Chris from my chest.
"Rudy, I..." Roxy tried to speak, probably to cope with unnecessary guilt that shouldn't exist, so I decided to interrupt her.
"Don't worry, Roxy. Lara isn't like me. She had a goal to pursue. I'm sure that even now, wherever she is, she's doing what she's meant to do. So I'm glad." My estranged daughter was someone I never fully understood, but even now I know that wherever she was, she was doing something that would affect our fight against the God-Man. So if it meant preventing her father's death, I didn't care much.
After all, I still loved Lara. She's my daughter, and I knew she had her own way of showing affection.
In my previous life, I got drunk while my parents' funeral was going on. So I can safely say that whatever I'm doing is infinitely better.
"Aisha, Norn?" Aisha turned to me as Norn approached her sister with Ruijerd in tow.
They both stared at me. The taller man remained inactive behind them.
I met their gazes, shifting my gaze from Aisha to Norn's. "Father and Mother would be proud." Those words escaped my mouth.
Aisha stood there with a bewildered look on her face as tears slowly began to fall from her wrinkled face.
Beside her, Norn didn't take it as well. The mention of our parents almost made her lose control, sobbing into Ruijerd's chest. "I'll say hello for you." The blonde nodded without looking at me as Aisha gave me a slight bow.
It seems I've made the room even sadder. What a killjoy I've become!
"Rudeus?" Ruijerd's raspy voice cut through the air like a knife. Of course, he hadn't changed in all the years I'd known him. The only thing that could be considered different was that we were now family.
"Say hello to Eris for me." Of course, his last words must have been very cool. It was so typical of him.
"Alek." A simple call and the man came running.
"Rudeus." A cheerful tone remained. I imagine seeing someone die was normal for him.
"A dead man doesn't need a place among the Seven Powers, so you can have it back." I closed my eyes, waiting for his response. Would he be happy? Probably not. Alek liked to fight for these kinds of things.
"I politely decline your offer." His reply wasn't bombastic or optimistic. Instead, I was met with a man who seemed completely serious.
"Don't be ridiculous, Alek. I'm in no condition to—"
"I don't deserve the title. Not until I get in shape and figure out who I need to be. So, for now, I don't deserve to replace the 'Quagmire.'" He seemed to be flatly refusing. Well, so be it.
"You're too kind for your own good, you know that?"
"You say so," he replied mockingly.
I inhaled and exhaled. I knew it was coming soon.
I knew it because I'd felt it before. The insidious feeling of death that threatened to consume my existence.
This time, however, I wouldn't run away or scream for another chance.
I was ready and willing to accept my end.
This time, I would leave on my own terms, and I felt there was no other way to die.
The man who hadn't yet said anything approached me.
His stern golden eyes never left mine, not even as he moved.
His white hair is still styled as always, and his attire is the same as when I first met him, which, at the time, seemed like an eternity ago.
Even though we were in the same room, the atmosphere seemed to change, but for some reason, no one was as afraid of him as before, not even without his helmet on.
"Rudeus," Orsted said in his typical monotone and with his usual frown.
I looked back to see everyone one last time. It was a shame they were so sad.
I didn't necessarily want my death to be tragic, but I was glad so many people cared about me.
"You know, Orsted? Maybe I should have taken note of my future self and learned time magic. With how sad I'm making everyone, I feel guilty." I chuckled, and oddly enough, so did the man.
My eyes widened as I realized what I'd heard. The Dragon God. My boss. The man who must have been the most serious person in the world simply chuckled. As if it was the most obvious response to my statement.
"You've done more than enough. If anyone deserves a break, it's you, Rudeus." The man's face twitched slightly.
"You sound so sad you could cry, old friend." His eyes widened slightly at that.
Did I really hit the target? Or was he just angry that I landed one last blow before leaving?
"Orsted," the man looked at me. "Please finish it for me. Seal the God-Man and end this battle of yours."
"Ours," he reiterated. "And I will." A look of absolute determination flashed in Orsted's eyes as he spoke.
"Well, if somehow..." I paused, and the man looked at me in disbelief. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but... if we fail... Find me. I'm sure I could help you." That was what I didn't add.
The probability of a loop like this was so astronomically close to zero that it wasn't funny, but who knows what might happen. My entire life was filled with uncertainties. Still, it was best not to think about that kind of unforeseen event.
I took another breath. By now, even that was hard. I felt like I was slowly fading away.
I looked to my left. "Roxy." Then I turned to my right. "Sylphie." They both squeezed me tighter. "Thanks for putting up with me." They both immediately intervened and denied what I'd said, but I quickly stopped them. "We've been through a lot, haven't we?"
Memories flooded back. I couldn't remember everything, but the number of memories I shared with everyone far outweighed the ones I'd forgotten.
"Like when you mistook me as a kid, twice?" I nodded with a teasing smile.
"I was pretty dumb back then, so I hope you'll forgive me for my arrogance." I felt a sting on my cheek.
"Or when I made you promise not to be so formal with me?" "Well, sorry. It's just habit. You're too cute when you're angry."
Roxy leaned closer and whispered, "Or when you stole my underwear?" Oh, that... Does he know?!
"Please don't tell anyone," I whispered, panic evident in my voice.
I'd rather most of my family didn't know about my inclinations if I could help it. She nodded and kissed me on the cheek.
If I were younger, that would have been an invitation, but as I am now, I was driven only by magic and sheer force of will.
"I feel guilty, you know? Even though I've aged and am frail, you two are still so young and agile. Surely you could find someone else—"
"I refuse." Sylphie's face left no room for argument.
"I'm leaning toward Sylphie." Her answers became clear.
Hear that, everyone! They're mine! Not yours! Mine! Well, it's not like I'll be around much longer, but even hearing that made an old man's heart weep with joy.
"Rudy?" Sylphie's face wore a worried expression. Not that it hadn't been the whole time I'd been lying here, but now I noticed my vision blurring.
She was crying. She was happy. Strange, wasn't it? Crying with joy on one's deathbed? It just showed how content she was with the life she was living.
"I wasn't going to cry like that." They both looked at me, frowning in concern. "Come on, you shouldn't let me be the only one crying. I wish they wouldn't hold back. It would make me feel bad," I managed between sobs.
With my approval, they both stopped and looked at each other. Then they looked back at me. It wasn't long before they were clinging to me. I put my arms around them.
"Roxy, thank you for taking me out of the house when I was younger. I was so scared to do it, but you came and took me." I'm sure hearing that meant practically nothing to the girl, but to me, it had been such a crucial part of my life that I'd never forgotten it.
Even now, I remember it on my deathbed, seventy years later. That's how important it was to me. "Thank you for falling in love with someone like me." The girl was still sobbing, pressed against me.
"I love you, Rudy." Her lips met mine in a brief kiss.
"Sylphie, thank you for putting up with me and staying with me even after I brought wife after wife." I continued to cry against them both. Even as Sylphie giggled a little at what I said, "Thank you for raising our family," she brought her lips to mine for a moment, too.
"Sylphie, thank you for putting up with me and staying with me even after I brought wife after wife." I continued to cry against them. Even as Sylphie giggled a little at what I said, "Thank you for raising our family." She also brought her lips to mine for a moment.
"O-Of course... I love you." Her husky voice sounded calm.
Then, I forced myself to stop crying. I turned to the one person who hadn't been able to come. "Eris."
I stared up at the ceiling, looking at nothing in particular. "Thank you for working so hard for a man like me." I looked at Sylphie and Roxy as they turned their tearful faces toward me. Their crying was thick in the room.
Everyone knew what was coming.
"I'm going to see you right now. I hope you didn't wait too long for this old man."
I took a few breaths. Finally, I no longer felt the need. Then, an idea came to me. I still have so much to say.
There are still people I haven't said goodbye to.
My vision, increasingly blurry, focused on the two women I loved.
Their faces were streaked with tears as they clung to me.
These two never stopped loving me, not even until the bitter end. I was blessed in this life. They gave me another chance at life, and I lived it. That was all that mattered to me in the end.
With one last push, with all the air I had left in my lungs, I uttered my last words: "Thank you."
I think I've said enough. I'm fine now. I did everything I wanted. I lost consciousness. I am happy.
One winter day in Sharia, in K481, I, Rudeus Greyrat, died... and became a happy man. A fulfilled man.