Akira walked through the corridors of the abandoned castle, guided by Cecilia. Her soft smile, though subtle, somehow made the place feel a little less haunted.
Behind him, following at a slow but steady pace, came Sir Rigoberto and Don Eustacio, while Minu floated at his side with erratic energy.
"This is the main dining hall," said the tiny fairy, pointing at a slightly ajar door.
Akira peeked inside. It was a large hall, now layered with dust and cobwebs. Some tables still held cracked dishes, as if time had frozen in the middle of a forgotten dinner.
"Do we have any food reserves?"
Cecilia shook her head.
"Right… then finding supplies will be a priority before repairing this room," Akira decided, moving on.
They continued to the royal bedroom.
A rotten wooden bed and a mattress that squirmed a little too suspiciously stood at the center of the room. Tall, curtainless windows let in a melancholy light that didn't help the mood at all.
"Is there anything usable to sleep on?"
"I'm afraid not," replied Eustacio in a formal tone. "But we could head to the nearby forest, gather some provisions, and build a makeshift bed. Wouldn't be the first time."
Next, they inspected the bathroom. More cobwebs, more neglect... but to their surprise, turning one of the faucets actually produced a thin stream of water.
"How is the water heated? And where does it even come from?"
"We have a boiler room and a magical flow control system," answered Cecilia. "It runs on rune-powered energy. Would you like to see it?"
"Yes, please," Akira nodded with curiosity.
They led him down a side hallway, descending creaky wooden stairs. At the bottom, they found a damp but functional chamber.
Two stones glowed faintly in the center of the system: one red, radiating soft warmth, and one blue, from which water bubbled like a contained spring.
"That's an Ignisite," explained Minu, floating in front of him. "It provides constant fire—as long as its rune is active."
"And that one's an Aqualite. It produces clean water… though its output depends on the lunar phase. Totally impractical, if you ask me."
Akira crouched in front of the stones. It was his first time seeing magic at work up close.
"So… can these things shut down? Or explode?"
"Yes and yes," Minu replied. "But that only happens when someone makes a ridiculously avoidable mistake."
"Great. Super reassuring," muttered Akira with dry sarcasm.
They climbed back up, and after a few turns through rusty halls—and a tense moment where they almost fell through a hole in the floor—they finally reached the castle's massive front gate. A wide staircase stretched down, flanked by crumbling pillars and dusty old suits of armor.
Akira pushed open the huge wooden doors. They groaned like they hadn't been opened in decades—and weren't happy about it.
And for the first time that day… He saw light.
The outside.
The city in front of him wasn't in much better shape. Collapsed homes, broken rooftops, structures defeated by time. What looked like a port, a bell tower, a chapel… all abandoned.
Silent.
No sign of life.
"Is anyone alive out here?"
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
No response—just the wind blowing… and the occasional tumbleweed rolling by.
Akira slowly descended the steps and sat down. He gazed out at the desolate landscape and sighed.
"…I feel like I'm the main character in a post-apocalyptic story."
Don Eustacio floated beside him, wearing a solemn expression.
"Faraluz was once a bright, thriving kingdom. Until fifty years ago, when we were attacked. The people fled. Order crumbled."
"Our king did not fall in battle," Rigoberto added, lowering his head.
"The hero before you… took all the gold, all the riches, and the best soldiers. He left to join another kingdom. It was a disgrace to us all."
"When I woke up, I was already here," Cecilia said softly. "Rigoberto and Eustacio are like my parents. I don't know anyone else."
Minu floated in front of him. Her usual animated face now showed a more serious expression.
"You're the fourth hero summoned this year," she said. "The last three quit. Without even thinking twice."
Akira didn't respond right away.
He looked again at the ruined city.
The wind carried dry leaves through the empty streets.
Behind him, the castle creaked with every gust.
And yet… they were still here. Waiting.
He didn't know if he was the hero this kingdom needed—but they seemed to believe there was still something worth saving.
For the first time since arriving, Akira felt like this wasn't just some stupid joke.
"Cecilia," he said at last. "Do you know how to fight? I mean, you're a vampire, right?"
She crossed her arms, thoughtful.
"I've never been in a real battle. But I suppose… I can fight, yes."
Akira's eyes landed on his katana.
The pale blue hilt shimmered with delicate detail. As he focused, an interface floated into view—like a pop-up in an RPG.
Divine Weapon: Takao
Quality: Legendary
Attributes: Magical Slash, Infinite Durability, Hero-Bound
Passive Ability: Grants bonus gold for each defeated enemy
Akira raised an eyebrow and muttered to himself,
"Now I get why Uzaki gave me this thing… only he would think of something like that."
He stood slowly, securing the sheath at his waist.
The sword clicked into place as if it belonged there.
"You two will stay at the castle," he said, looking at Don Eustacio and Sir Rigoberto.
"We're heading into the forest. You might not need food, but I do."
"We?" Minu asked, hovering cautiously.
"Cecilia's coming with me. I want to scout the area, find supplies, hunt something to eat… This place won't fix itself, and I'm not starving while I wait."
Cecilia nodded with a faint smile, while Rigoberto and Eustacio bowed solemnly.
Without another word, Akira began walking.
The path down from the castle twisted through overgrown weeds and exposed roots. To the side, collapsed houses hinted at what had once been a lively village. In the distance, past the empty fields, rose the dark outline of the forest.
Akira picked up the pace.
No map. No supplies. No clue what was waiting.
But for the first time since arriving… he was moving by his own will.
"That's the Belier Forest," said Minu, floating beside him. "According to my files, it's a level one area… with a high risk of unexpected bugs."
"Perfect," Akira muttered. "Just like everything else in my life so far."
Right then, his phone buzzed again in his pocket.
A virtual screen popped up in front of him—just like an RPG system alert.
SPN: New Quest Activated
Objective: Defeat 5 goblins… or ask your maid to let you smell her panties.
Reward: +50 EXP / Unlock "Ridiculous Achievement No. 1"
"…What?" Akira blinked, confused.
The message stayed there, flashing like a birthday notification.
"I don't know if this is a joke, a real quest… or a server glitch."
He didn't get the chance to find out.
From the bushes, small armed figures began to emerge. One… two… five… ten…
Before he could count, twenty goblins had surrounded them.
Rusty spears, misshapen swords, junk armor.
And behind them, a bigger goblin with a red cape, a helmet, and a staff decorated with tiny skulls stepped forward with heavy steps.
"Are you freaking kidding me!?"
"This isn't good, Master…" said Cecilia, frowning, a bead of sweat trailing down her cheek. "I didn't know the forest had gotten this dangerous…"
Akira drew his katana with a grimace.
"Level one, huh? Alright then, SPN. Let's play your stupid game."
And so, they prepared for their first battle.
One that would change the fate of a guy with zero ambitions, cursed by the favor of morally ambiguous gods… and guided by one seriously questionable assistant.
"…Wait a second—is the narrator laughing at me?" Akira asked aloud—just as a bird flew overhead and pooped on him with almost cinematic accuracy.
Akira didn't know this, but the story's low budget doesn't allow for impartial narrators… especially not for guys like him.
"Hey! Don't ignore me!"
And thus, he learned an important lesson:
Never provoke your narrator.
SPN: Achievement Unlocked — "Narratively Self-Aware Protagonist"