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Chapter 94 - C38.3: Washing Away

… the words torn from somewhere deep in her chest. "God help me, I want you so much I'm going crazy."

The confession hung between them like a live wire, charging the air with electricity and possibility. James felt triumph surge through him, hot and fierce, at finally hearing the words he'd been waiting for.

But he wasn't done with her yet.

"Then what's stopping you?" he asked, his voice still that maddening whisper against her skin.

Victoria's eyes snapped open, meeting his with a flash of something that might have been panic. "James- -"

"What's stopping you from having what you want?" he continued, his hands still working their magic against her scalp while his words systematically dismantled her remaining defenses.

The reminder sent a fresh wave of desperation through Victoria's system. She was drowning in sensation, in the feel of his hands on her, in the commanding presence that seemed to fill the entire room.

"We just came out from a near crisis," she managed, her voice shaking with the effort of forming coherent thoughts while his fingers worked against her scalp. "The questions about my ethics and professionalism, the dig against my reputation and... indecent relationship with employees. I've already denied there was anything between us to the press."

James's hands stilled for a moment, and Victoria immediately missed the sensation.

"You also told those same reporters that office romance wasn't a crime," he said, his voice carefully controlled. "You said that adults could make their own choices about their personal lives."

His fingers resumed their movement, and Victoria had to bite back a moan at the renewed contact.

"You inspired a lot of workers who were hiding their relationships to come out in the open."

Victoria blinked, clearly caught off guard by his reference to her own ways.

James continued; his thumb now tracing patterns on her cheek that made her vision blur around the edges. "They found acceptance because you normalized it. They're living openly now because you told the world that love doesn't stop being valid just because it happens in a workplace. So why would your situation be different?"

"Why would you be held to a different standard than the employees you inspired to be honest about their relationships?"

Victoria's lips parted slightly, but no words came. James could see her processing his logic, wrestling with the implications.

The logic was sound, but Victoria's mind was too clouded with desire to process it properly. All she could focus on was the feel of his hands, the heat of his body, the way his voice seemed to wrap around her like silk.

"What do you want, Victoria?" he asked again, his voice soft but insistent. "Not what you think you should want. What do you actually want?"

The question hung between them like a challenge, demanding the kind of emotional honesty that Victoria had spent her entire career avoiding. But with James's hands on her, his body so close she could feel his heat, his presence so overwhelming it made thought nearly impossible, she found herself struggling to form any response at all.

The silence stretched until it became almost unbearable, filled with the sound of their slightly labored breathing and the electric tension that seemed to crackle between them.

Finally, when it became clear that she still couldn't or wouldn't give him the complete honesty he needed, James felt his own protective instincts kick in. He'd pushed her as far as he could, had gotten her to admit she wanted him. Yes, but wanting and choosing were two different things.

His hands stilled against her face, and he took a step back, the loss of contact making Victoria's eyes snap open in alarm.

"I can't do this," he said quietly, his voice rough with frustrated desire. "I can't keep playing games where I'm the only one taking real risks."

James moved past her into the main room, his body screaming in protest at the distance he was putting between them. Every instinct demanded he go back, pin her against the bathroom wall, and take what they both clearly wanted.

However, he'd learned something about himself in the months since his promotion, he was worth more than stolen moments and half-admissions. He deserved someone who chose him completely, someone who thought he was worth the risk of public scrutiny and professional complications.

Moreover, he'd learnt something about Victoria, if he wanted something deep and meaningful with her, to get her to submit, then he has to be patient and strong willed to the demanding, narcissistic and stubborn woman.

His hand was on the door handle when Victoria's voice stopped him.

"James, wait."

He paused but didn't turn around, his entire body tense with the effort of not going back to her.

"Please."

The word was so soft, so unlike her usual commanding tone, that James felt his resolve waver. He heard her footsteps approaching behind him, felt the heat of her presence as she moved closer.

"James."

This time his name was whispered directly behind him mixed with desperation, close enough that he could feel her breath against his neck. The sensation sent another wave of heat crashing through his system, but he forced himself to remain still.

Before he could react, Victoria's hands settled on his shoulders, turning him slowly to face her. When he met her eyes, James saw something that made his breath catch, raw need mixed with desperation, desire tempered with fear.

Without warning, Victoria raised her head temptative, and came close, moving to press her lips to his. He smelled the whiff of champagne in her breath. For a moment, he almost gave in as he felt himself responding, his body recognizing the familiar electricity that sparked between them.

At last seconds, James pulled back before contact could be made, his hands coming up to gently but firmly stop her.

"No," he said, his voice rough with the effort of denial. "No more stolen moments. You want me? Come get me. But do it right."

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