Ryan Stone was pretty sure he hadn't signed up for this.
One minute, he was trying to decide if his leftover pizza was still good for breakfast, and the next, whoosh. No, not even a whoosh. It was more like the world just hiccuped, and he was on the wrong side of the hiccup.
One second, pizza. Next second, not pizza. Definitely not pizza.
He blinked. Then he blinked again, because the first blink didn't seem to fix anything. He was sitting. That was a start.
It was a comfy chair, which was a nice surprise, considering he felt like he'd been mailed somewhere without a box. The room, if you could call it that, was small. Very small. Like a fancy new-age closet.
The walls were smooth and white, glowing softly. There were no windows. No door that he could see, either.
"Okay, Ryan," he mumbled to himself, a habit he had when things got weird. "Let's not panic. Maybe this is one of those escape rooms. A very, very minimalist escape room. Or perhaps I finally fell asleep during that boring Tuesday meeting and this is a super weird dream."
He pinched himself. Ouch. Nope, not a dream. The ouch felt pretty real.
A soft chime, like a polite little bell, sounded right inside his head.
Hello? Is anyone in there? he thought, feeling a bit silly.
"Welcome, Arrival #8,457,321,009 to Genesis Outpost #7," a calm, smooth voice said. It wasn't coming from a speaker. It was just… there. In his head. Like someone had installed a personal announcer without asking.
Ryan jumped, or tried to. The comfy chair had a seatbelt. "Whoa there! Personal space, voice in my head! And that's a lot of nines. Am I late for something?"
The voice didn't laugh. Ryan guessed in-head announcers didn't have a great sense of humor. "You are in an Arrival Pod. Please remain calm. Basic information is available through your god Interface."
"My what now? God Interface? Is this a religious thing? Because I'm not sure I'm dressed for it." Ryan looked down at his jeans and t-shirt, which, thankfully, had made the trip with him.
So had his slightly mismatched socks. One had cartoon aliens, the other was plain blue. He was a man of complex tastes.
A screen of light popped up in front of his eyes, like a see-through TV. It wasn't actually there, but he could see it plain as day. On it were words:
RYAN STONE
STATUS: NORMAL
VITALITY: 10/10
AGILITY: 10/10
STRENGTH: 10/10
INTELLECT: 10/10
SPIRIT: 10/10
Ryan stared. "Okay, so I'm a perfect ten in everything, according to this. My gym teacher would be shocked.
Especially about the agility. 'Mostly confused' sounds about right, though." He noticed little plus and minus signs next to the words, but they weren't doing anything yet.
Below the stats, there were other options. One said "CommNet." He mentally poked it.
Suddenly, the see-through screen was filled with lines of text, scrolling by at a dizzying speed.
Xx_ShadowSniper_xX: WHERE THE HECK AM I?!
PrincessFluffybutt: My cats! Did anyone see my three Persian cats?!
BigTony77: Is this that new VR game? The graphics are insane! My pod smells like new shoes.
ConfusedCarl: I was just making toast! Did I burn the house down?!
PhilosoRaptor: This ontological predicament is most fascinating! Also, does anyone have a towel?
Ryan's eyes widened. "Okay, so it's not just me. Billions of us, if that number the voice gave me is right. And we're all in these pods.
PrincessFluffybutt seems nice." He wondered if his own pod smelled like new shoes. He took a sniff. Nope. Just clean. A bit like a doctor's office, but less scary.
Another option on the interface was "Pod Functions." He poked that.
REGENERATION (MINOR): Automatically mends small boo-boos. Don't try to regrow a limb, please.
NUTRIENT DISPENSER: Provides one (1) blob of all-you-need goo per cycle. Tastes may vary. (They don't. It's always beige.)
"Goo," Ryan said with a sigh. "Of course, it's goo. Space-age kidnappers always serve goo." He found a little slot on the side of his chair and, out of curiosity, mentally told it to dispense. A small tray slid out, and with a soft plop, a perfectly beige, perfectly round blob of something appeared. It jiggled a bit.
"Hello there, beige goo," Ryan said to it. "You look nutritious." He poked it with a finger. It felt like firm jelly. He decided he wasn't hungry enough for beige goo just yet. Maybe the pizza was still good in his memory.
Just then, the calm voice returned, but this time it felt louder, more official, like it was talking to everyone, everywhere. Not just in his head, but in all the heads.
"Attention all Arrivals! Welcome to the god Verse! You have been chosen!"
"Chosen for what?" Ryan muttered. "A timeshare presentation? Because I'm really not interested."
The voice continued, ignoring him. "You are currently in designated starting zones known as Genesis Outposts. Shortly, you will all undergo the Genesis Protocol. This process, called Aptitude Symbiosis, will unlock your innate potential and grant you a unique Aptitude."
The CommNet chat went absolutely wild.
Superpowers?! I KNEW IT! BigTony77 is gonna be a superhero!
PrincessFluffybutt: Can I get an aptitude for finding my cats?
ConfusedCarl: I hope I get an aptitude for making perfect toast.
"Aptitudes are ranked from F-Tier, which are common, to SSS-Tier, which are legendary and unique to the individual. Only a handful in existence possess such power. Prepare yourselves. Aptitude Symbiosis will commence in five… four… three…"
Ryan felt a sudden lurch in his stomach. "Wait, unique? Legendary? I usually get the booby prize in raffles. What if I get 'Slightly Better at Humming'?" He braced himself. The lights in his pod flickered, then glowed with an intense, warm light. It wasn't painful, just… tingly. All over. Like he was standing too close to a giant, invisible cat that was purring really, really hard.
The tingling got stronger, a weird pressure built up behind his eyes, and then, just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. The lights went back to normal. The see-through screen in front of him flickered, then displayed a new message in big, shiny letters.
APTITUDE SYMBIOSIS COMPLETE!
CONGRATULATIONS, RYAN STONE!
YOU HAVE AWAKENED A UNIQUE SSS-TIER APTITUDE!
Ryan stared. He blinked. He read it again. "SSS-Tier? Me? Ryan 'once-tripped-uphill' Stone?" He felt a weird mix of disbelief and a tiny spark of excitement. Maybe, just maybe, this whole being-yoinked-from-his-kitchen thing wouldn't be so bad if he had a legendary SSS-super-duper power.
Below the flashy announcement, more text appeared:
APTITUDE: ULTIMATE INFINITE EXTRACTION SYSTEM (SSS-TIER)
DESCRIPTION: The ability to deconstruct and assimilate the essence of virtually anything. Limitless potential for growth and adaptation. Further details will unlock with use and understanding.
SYSTEM NOTE: You lucky duck.
Ryan's jaw dropped a little. "Ultimate Infinite Extraction System? Deconstruct and assimilate essence? What does that even mean? Can I extract the good taste from that beige goo and leave the beige behind? And did the system just call me a lucky duck?"
He looked around his tiny pod. It was still the same minimalist closet. He was still Ryan Stone in his slightly mismatched socks. But now, apparently, he was Ryan Stone with a legendary, unique, SSS-Tier aptitude that sounded incredibly powerful and incredibly confusing.
"Well," he said to the empty pod, a small, nervous grin spreading across his face. "This is certainly more interesting than leftover pizza."
He wondered if his new system could extract answers about where his pizza actually went. Probably not. But a guy could hope.
The adventure, it seemed, had just begun. And he had a feeling he was going to need a lot more than perfect tens in his stats to figure this one out.
Maybe he should try that beige goo after all. Or maybe, just maybe, he could extract a pizza from the pod wall.
Now that would be an SSS-Tier power worth having