Not to brag. I always envisioned myself high on a glowing unicorn, lavished in matching holy amour, the sword forged from the fallen souls of the thousand gods who fell before this demon lord as I command humanities last stand with friends, frenimes and plenty of jade beauties by my side. Charging into the ultimate battle, our last stand.
Ah~
As with Blades of Aldrioa. I was constantly the game's last player.
Though Kenji Yamoto (me!), wasn't nothing special. Large build, tall, with flowing black hair and an impeccable sense of fashion. I deserved that life. Unicorns and orcs: nonexistent.
My life felt like a constant underdog story, always facing bullies—sometimes even parents. (Mom!). Who only sees me as a forum-dwelling cave gremlin!
Especially the plebs who can't understand the nuances, the blood and sweat that go into my reviews and critiques. Plus those contributions to the Anime Forums (let's admit they're envious they haven't been on the front page ever!).
So, why do I spend so much time researching, writing, deconstructing, and examining my over 400 anime catalogue (Isekai)? Because it's for that moment, my fortuitous meet with Truck-kun!
Unlike the clueless and dense-as-bricks plebs who get all the attention, being hand held by their cat girl maids and overpowered, overpowering 'skill' right to the very end of episode 12!
Despite this blessing, I'll immediately defeat that demon lord, embracing a new life's warmth.
Being an INDEG (Involuntarily Degenerate Gamer) is a key aspect of my strategy of portraying myself as a loser, aiming to boost my chances of reincarnation with superior OP abilities in the other realm, as pity motivates such storylines.
(Hint hint: Check out my blog to read about it.)
Min-maxing my build, scraping the bottom of the barrel, even going through the trouble to create the perfect reincarnation character sheet which I have laminated and hung above my bed so that I may memories it each night and simulate every world and scenario until I reach ideality, and a perfect game plan.
Your spiritual world will always align with your material world, TLDR. If you're not in the success mindset, you are not succeeding!
I was ready, ready at any moment, to save a young petite girl from the speeding truck. My canon event!
Even finding my grandfather's secret door, which leads to another world.
Heck, even for God to descend, and heir me the title of 'Heavenly Merciful Buddha' and spirit me away to that next world! My time has come!
It was just like any other day.
Mother interrupted my deep cultivation of knowledge. "TAKE OUT THE DAM TRASH TODAYS-"
In the middle of simulating my easy life with cheat pharmaceutical skills as well. Even though I zoned out the last bit but I abided, stuffing the yellowed laminated "Action plan" into a jacket pocket.
Though I would have liked to continue back on those trails of thoughts.
The sunlight throbbing against my forehead like an oppressive gong. Deeply reverberating through my temple and to my ears, my skull felt like it was beating expanding in the heat.
Even keeping my eyes open was a struggle. The trash became a cruel iron ball grafted onto my wrist. A punishment fit for adultery, murder, and buying a slave on the promise that you're a good owner. Finally, calf - burning, I reached the bin.
"Grrrr... Damned heat."
Beads of sweat draped over my eyes like a watery veil. Move too fast, and all the work will only make it worse, but stay to catch a breath the sun still shined on my back
What is the correct answer?
*Whirr*
*Whirr*
Obviously, option C!
Swinging my arms, I hold the bag over the shoulder, holding it there for a breath. To yank it over!
Yes! A perfect overhead slam! I would know cause I watched the World Wrestling League, religiously as a kid.
Until suddenly, during my reminiscence I feel arms around my waist — overpowering, rigid, rectangular arms. Prongs!? They tightly pin. Its teeth-like pattern digs deep and clamping against the edge of my ribcage. Trapping me like a extra large teddy at the claw machine.
I shout in pain, as I muster all I can to get out. The rubbish man is mistaking me for literal human garbage!!
"STOP!! The trash can you're looking for is right over there!" Slowly, I'm lifted off my feet to the roaring engine.
"Oh, please God!" A small plea, the only plea that was said in that second across all 7 billion people on this blue orb. Quietly, something answered.
The arm suddenly stopped. It didn't seem so hot anymore; The light felt warm and radiant. Something, someone was watching...
*Wham!!*
And it wasn't God.
With explosive force, I'm slammed down into the pitch-black dump. Probably with a concussion and a broken spine. Folded like old laundry. A instant death.
Game Over.
***
Or so I thought!
It was like in Blades of Aldoria! Meathead tank, Roran could suplex anything! Even trains. So examine being that train and thrown that fast, so hard that you crash through the floor!
There was shattering glass, the cries of a child, the echo of explosions, and someone screaming. I opened my eyes it was total darkness, anarchic monochrome plain, golden roots that fractalled infinitely connecting all, dark orb that consumed all and spewing it all out, an extremely bright dead stars cape, swirling energies of galaxies moved in billions of years a second.
Something, something I'm not supposed to see.
I reflexively shield my eyes. But theres a hand! A hand that's squeezing my eye! It's long nails separating the soft tissue like a soft-boiled egg!
"Huh, huh! Holy shit!" Now I'm falling through the sky! An absurd drop; where even the clouds look small! Blood drains from my fingertips and feet, and all I can do is flail helplessly!
Yet the horizon, the sun — it has little stars orbiting it, painting an orange glow to the edge of night and the glimmering rain falling from the dark clouds so far in the horizon. Mysteries mountains' shadows cast over the land, the outlines of ancient constructs and dots of soft yellow flames glowed, scattered and dense.
There's not a doubt...
"I'm in another world!!!" I'm really here! Should I really stick to the plan, get the cheat a tron and shiv that demon king, or maybe I should side quest first?! Or maybe build a settlement and just live to pay taxes... Maybe not that.
It's electric; My planning and preparations from today I can finally start my real life! Easy life, here I come!
"Agahahahahhaagghhh!!" That's my happy scream.
*BOOM*
I crash onto a big bag of something. The plastic bag squeezed, growing more bulbous, then exploding into a firework of tissue paper, I think. I survived somehow. But in terrible shape. Landing on my trash bag probably saved me, but I'm still in the same shape as I was in the past life, plus my tail which is now killing me!
Same tight black blazer and Hawaiian shorts; I seem to look a little slimmer. Ack! What the heck!
I'm in a another dump... Far too tired to wiggle out.
"Hahh... A lucky break huh? Powering down..." I close my eyes ready to power nap.
"Huf huf! Get the out of here you tax frauds!- By the powers above? In what world are you doing in our trash?!?" It's like rackety high pitch gong! It's was about to go off but I'm not letting anyone push me!!
"Huhhh?!!! I JUST FEEL OUT OF THE SKY, THANK YOU!! You tellin me I was supposed to know this is private property-" Wait, I'm talking to a girl.
Like a real girl, most of my interactions with real women extends to listening to 'Mommy Asmr' Obviously to cringe! But I'm talking to a round face green eyed girl. In a weird style leather apron and a cap which pokes out for her animal ears...
After my initial berate she almost looks on the verge of tears. Clenching that shovel pretty tightly.
Though I dare not let anyone push me around! I'm still willing to talk it out, if it means I don't make a girl cry, "But... It was quit-"
*WAM!*
But now that was quite improper of her, should have known the nervous type would indiscriminately lash out.
Dammm that should have never happened! I already bumped into the dangerous kind of bumhead miss-understandings! The one which jumps to teh worse conclusions for plot convenience.
With my thoughts I think of a way for payback, with interest of course! A girl, boy, blood-mother, troll?
They wrong me and I will always remember!
Think...
"M..!"
Oh?
"Mis..ter!!"
I know the perfect payback...
I slowly open eyes, my face scrunches, I let put a debilitating scream, now she'll learn her lesson.
I absolutely jumpescare the hell out of... the old man that's calling my name.
His wrinkly face doesn't change, he stares with at me with maroon eyes. A little to the back, there was my initial target.
"*Sigh* Ezra. You sure you gave him a brain hemmorage?" He said hoarsely. "Get the shovel.."
"Oi Oi Oi! I'm not dead yet!!
... D-dam old geezer..." Other that.
I give that Ezra, over the old man shoulder, a strong stare, like with the daggers. 'I'll get my payback.'
She seems nervous, as typical. But weridly she doesn't see my code, her eyes are set on the old fart.
He mumbles something under breath. Leaning in, with his right hand pulls his eye patch. His right eye milk white with a glassy gloss, with no visble red or white veins. He forcibly, with his index and middle finger, prys his eyelids a absurd amount until it pops out. Softly falling on the blanket.
The eye rolls a little then freakishly turns back and looks at me!!
"########!!!!#!!! WHAT THE FUCK OLD MAN!!" I yell, staying as far as I can from the demonic thing.
"Bahahahahaha!!! Falls into place each time! You're a really sheltered one aren't you? Hahaha!!" The demonic geezer picks his eye and massaging it under his palm between his face. "Names Ernsif. My compatriot back there Ezra. Welcome to The Shacks Hospital. How can I help good sir?"
Sure.
I can deal with this.
It's all falling into place, eventually maybe I'll get that girl once I get my cheat sword...
"I need to get out of here."