The darkness in Slurp Haven was thicker than Finn's worst batch of miso broth, the kind that congealed into a sad, gluey mess. The mana crystal's explosion had left the noodle shop pitch-black, save for the faint glow of Gloppity-Gloo's neon-green hair and the ember-red flicker of Snookums's scales.
Finn's heart jackhammered, his cleaver trembling in his broth-slick hand. He'd just wanted answers—why his Trash-tier slime was now a goddess, why a Demon King was proposing in his shop, why the multiverse hated him. Instead, he got a blown-out light and a wyrm growling like it was auditioning for an apocalypse.
"Chat, we're in a blackout!" Gloppity-Gloo's voice cut through the silence, her SlimeTok screen casting a holographic glow across the shattered counter.
"Is this giving horror movie vibes or romantic drama? Vote now!" Her goddess form—curves that defied physics, dress of liquid light—struck a pose, utterly unbothered by the chaos.
Comments flooded her livestream:
User ChaosCake: SPOOKY SZN!
User NoodleLord: FINN, RUN!
Finn groaned, his boots crunching on glass shards. "Can you not livestream our impending death?"
"Bestie, clout waits for no one," Gloppity-Gloo chirped, twirling her hair. "Three million viewers and climbing!"
Zaltharion Varkoth, Demon King of the Abyss Shard, cleared his throat with the gravitas of a Shakespearean actor. His horns gleamed in the dim light, his suit somehow pristine despite the splinters littering the floor.
"Fear not, my radiant bride," he purred, stepping closer to Gloppity-Gloo. "This minor inconvenience shall not delay our union. Snookums, illuminate!"
The lava wyrm—Snookums, because of course that was its name—roared, its scales flaring like a volcanic sunrise. The shop glowed orange, revealing a scene straight out of Finn's nightmares: overturned tables, a pot of broth hissing on the floor, and Mira, his mentor, casually fishing Spoonifer out of a pile of debris. Her gray bun was askew, but her smirk said she'd seen worse.
"Nice light show," Jane said, twirling her sentient ladle. "But you're paying for my crystal, horn-boy."
Zal ignored her, his eyes locked on Gloppity-Gloo. "My heart, your beauty outshines the Aetherial Drift itself. Allow me to serenade you with a poem—"
"No poems!" Finn snapped, waving his cleaver like a deranged chef. "Nobody's serenading anybody until someone explains what the hell's going on!"
His voice cracked, betraying the panic clawing his chest. He was eighteen, not a multiversal diplomat. He slung noodles, not Nexus Relics. And yet here he was, stuck with a slime-turned-influencer, a lovesick Demon King, and a shop that looked like it had lost a fight with a meteor.
Gloppity-Gloo pouted, her SlimeTok screen buzzing. "Finn, you're killing the vibe. Chat's begging for the poem! Also, someone named VoidMuncher just donated a Mana Crystal for Zal to keep going."
Finn's eye twitched. "I don't care about your chat!"
Jane chuckled, leaning against the counter. "Kid, you're in deeper than a Shard quake. That rock your slime ate? The Heart of Gloppity? It's not just a Nexus Relic—it's a key. To what, I don't know, but the Celestial Bureaucracy's gonna want it back. And this guy"—she jerked a thumb at Zal—"probably wants it too."
Zal's grin was all teeth, sharp as obsidian. "The Heart merely awakened my bride's true form. Its power is hers, and hers alone. Together, we shall rule the Abyss Shard and beyond."
He swept an arm dramatically, nearly knocking over a stack of bowls. Snookums wagged its molten tail, singeing the floor.
Finn's stomach lurched. "Rule? She's my Familiar, not your queen! And she's not marrying you!"
Gloppity-Gloo tilted her head, neon hair spilling like a cosmic waterfall. "I mean, he's got drip, but I'm not ready to settle down. Chat, should I yeet him or keep him on read?" Her screen flashed a new poll, votes pouring in.
Finn rubbed his temples, the throbbing pain a reminder that his life was a cosmic prank. "Jane, what's the Heart of Gloppity? And why's it making my life hell?"
Jane sighed, her eyes glinting with something Finn couldn't place—worry, maybe, or secrets. "It's old, kid. Older than the Codex. Some say it's a shard of the First Familiar, the one that birthed Glintara's multiverse. Others say it's a weapon, locked away to keep mortals from playing god. Either way, your slime eating it was like lighting a beacon for every power-hungry idiot in the Aetherial Drift."
"Great," Finn muttered, kicking a splintered chair. "So I'm screwed."
"Not yet," Jane said, tossing Spoonifer into the air. The ladle spun, humming a tune that sounded suspiciously like a funeral march.
"But you've got a choice. Run and hide, or figure out what that relic does before the Bureaucracy—or worse—comes knocking."
Zal clapped, the sound echoing like thunder. "A quest! My bride and I shall journey to the Abyss, where the Heart's secrets await. Mortal, you may serve as our chef."
Finn's cleaver wavered. "I'm not your chef, and she's not your bride!"
Before Gloppity-Gloo could weigh in, a low rumble shook the shop, like the multiverse itself was clearing its throat. The walls pulsed with mana, and a portal tore open above the counter, a swirling vortex of purple and black that smelled like burnt sugar. A cloaked figure stepped through, their boots clicking on the floor. Their hood hid their face, but a glint of silver armor peeked out, etched with Codex runes that screamed "I'm here to ruin your day."
"Finn Caldwell," the figure rasped, voice like gravel in a blender. "You've activated a Nexus Relic without authorization. Surrender the slime, or face the Celestial Bureaucracy's judgment."
Gloppity-Gloo gasped, striking a dramatic pose. "Chat, we've got a villain arc incoming! Should I fight or flirt? Vote!"
Her SlimeTok screen buzzed, comments exploding:
User SpiceFiend: KICK THEIR ASS!
User VoidChaos: FLIRT FOR THE PLOT!
Finn's grip tightened on the cleaver, sweat beading on his brow. "I'm not surrendering anything. She's my Familiar."
Zal stepped forward, his aura flaring like a volcano. "You dare threaten my bride? The Abyss Shard bows to no Bureaucracy!"The cloaked figure raised a hand, mana crackling like a storm. "You've been warned."
Finn's mind raced. He wasn't a fighter. He wasn't a hero. But Gloppity-Gloo, for all her chaotic, clout-chasing nonsense, was his—and he wasn't about to let some cosmic cop take her. He grabbed a pot of scalding broth from the stove, the heat searing his palms.
"Back off, or you're getting a face full of noodle soup!"Jane smirked. "That's the spirit, kid."
The portal pulsed, spitting out two more figures—armored goons with Codex badges. Snookums roared, Gloppity-Gloo's SlimeTok screen hit 5 million viewers, and Finn raised the pot like a weapon, praying he didn't die in a noodle shop brawl.