Nova lay in her room in deafening silence. Though it was just 1:00pm in the afternoon, she was already exhausted, both mentally and physically.
She couldn't understand her life. She couldn't understand why her circumstances were so....not good. Why was her life so messed up? Why didn't anyone ever support her?
And even if they did, they would just slip through her fingers like sand particles and take the other side in no time. Why was she always alone?
Was there perhaps something wrong with her?
She looked at her hands. Her nails were well done and perfect. Her skin looked exquisite. Her physique was no less than that of a model's. That was no surprise since she had trained herself to be that way.
To be perfect.
And she was.
But why did she feel like she wasn't? Why did she have this ominous feeling that everything was falling apart when in truth, things were going uphill? Why?
Nova blinked slowly, her lashes kissing her cheeks like feathers. She could hear the distant buzz of the vacuum downstairs and her dad's voice floating through the vents, laughing at something on TV.
Everything was normal. Too normal.
And yet, inside her, it felt like a storm was gathering.
She turned her face into the pillow and screamed — not loud enough to call attention, but loud enough to release some of the weight sitting on her chest.
She didn't feel like being here. Not in this room. Not in this house. Not even in her own body.
She sat up suddenly, her heart pounding. She didn't even know why, but she needed to get out.
Now.
She grabbed the first hoodie she saw — a black ad white striped one, the one she got as a present from her dad for her 14th birthday— and pulled it over her head. She shoved her phone in her back pocket, slipped into her crocs, and stormed out of the room like the floor had suddenly caught fire.
"Nova!" her dad's voice called out just as she reached the front door.
"I'm going out!" she shouted without looking back.
"To where?! You haven't even—"
"SOMEWHERE THAT ISN'T HERE!"
The door slammed shut behind her like a full stop on a sentence she was done writing.
---
Tessa's house
The sky outside was dull and overcast, like someone had dimmed the whole world to match her mood. The walk helped. Sort of. At least it helped her legs remember they existed.
By the time she reached Tessa's place, she didn't even knock. She just stood there. Still. Until the door creaked open.
Tessa peeked out, hair in a messy bun, oversized hoodie hanging off one shoulder. "Nova?"
Nova didn't say anything.
Tessa opened the door wider. "Come in."
Nova stepped into the warmth of her best friend's house, and for the first time that day, her lungs felt like they could finally breathe.
Tessa didn't ask questions.
Not at first.
She just walked into the kitchen, grabbed a can of strawberry soda from the fridge, and tossed it over without even turning.
Nova caught it, barely. Sat on the edge of the couch like she didn't know whether to relax or cry.
"You okay?" Tessa finally asked, flopping onto the opposite couch, legs tucked under her like a cat.
Nova opened the soda. It fizzed loudly, a sound far too happy for how she felt. "Define okay."
Tessa gave her that look — the one that meant, "I'm listening," without needing a full TED talk.
"I saw Luke this morning," Nova muttered.
Tessa's brows rose. "Oh."
"Yup." She took a long sip of soda. "And suddenly, the air wasn't breathable anymore."
There was a pause. The sound of a clock ticking. Nova hated clocks.
She slumped back, staring at the ceiling. "I don't get it, Tess. Why does everything that's supposed to be familiar feel so… foreign now?"
"You mean like home?"
"Yeah. Like home. Like… me."
Another silence.
Tessa stood and disappeared into her room. Came back with a fluffy blanket and threw it over Nova's lap. "You don't need to explain everything, y'know. I'm here. Even if you're not."
Nova blinked.
That hit deeper than she expected.
And for the first time in days, her shoulders dropped just a little.
---
Later that night…
They sat cross-legged on the floor, a tub of ice cream between them and a K-drama muted in the background. Nova wasn't watching. She was scrolling.
She'd posted a random mirror selfie earlier, and now the comments were full of strangers telling her how perfect her skin looked. How jealous they were. How they wanted her life.
If only they knew.
"Everyone keeps saying I'm perfect," Nova whispered.
Tessa glanced up. "And?"
"And… I don't feel like a person anymore. I feel like a product."
Tessa reached for a spoonful of ice cream. "You can be both. But don't forget which one you are when the lights are off."
Tessa grinned, "Now come on, forget about the world and watch a movie with me".
Nova nodded slowly, eyes glinting.
Maybe she had forgotten.
Maybe that's why it hurt.
.....