Bella's pov;
"Bella, you mean so much more to me than you know, right?" With his warm hand cupping my jaw, I squeezed the sheets tightly in my fists, my head down and my heart hammering fast in my chest, too scared to look into his eyes. The after effects of our deed was just like always where he kept on assuring me with these words. He was the only person that made me feel proud of my body and has never once failed to appreciate it in the past one year.
The strong smell of sex, the crumpled sheets, my flawless skin that was now painted with love bites all across and with him cupping my jaw, bare chested, that was the last thing needed
.
"Can't we just come out to everyone? They all keep mocking me for following you around or clinging to you. Can you just tell them we're both in love? At least, then I don't have to face the judgy stares again."
On cue right after my all too familiar question, his palm went cold against my skin and I swallowed, fear gripping my heart at the thought of what he could possibly do. Would he just leave me like he always threatened everytime I brought up this topic? The fear that gripped my heart was like none before as the silence in his room slowly ate me up.
In a few months, we'd both be finally done with year one in college and then, we would be apart since we now had the free will to pick our majors in year 2. It was supposed to be a pleasant memory that even my wolf was all too glad to witness and to give all of our love to the one person that accepted us despite our flaws as others have always managed to point out.
"Bella…look at me," he called out, his voice calm, yet dangerous. I've always been turned on by the danger in his tone but this time, my body couldn't respond to him in that way. The fear that gripped my heart only made me swallow as I raised my head to stare into his green orbs.
"The only thing that matters to me is that I love you and you're okay. Nothing else is my priority and about what others say, let them keep talking. Soon enough, you would end up rubbing the outcome in their faces. You are not my mate, but I do love you…," He said with a smile that I couldn't stop mine from spreading out on my face, finding his words pleasing.
Immediately, my sunken mood skyrocketed again while I nodded my head at him, all too pleased to agree with him.
"Good. Now, dress up for the party tonight. Remember the green gown I got you? It would look good on you…," He added and I was all too happy to put it on, once I left his room.
Soon, night came in a flash and a s I stood in front of the hall doors where the get-together party for the whole campus was to be held, my nerves were already up in a twist. The wild barrage of scents that kept hitting me was only adding to my already messed up senses. My wolf was all too happy to finally get to see him again. The only person that never for once looked at me with judgment in his eyes.
Now that I was standing in front of the huge doors in front of me, my palms all sweaty, I was having second thoughts about going in there, to face all the judgy centres and to be the center of their mockery.
Staring back at the gown I was wearing, just like he wanted, I felt more confident and prettier than I've ever been and it was all the confidence I needed to step into the hall.
Immediately, I went back to regretting my decision as the doors closed behind me.
I should have stayed home. This thought looped in my head as I stood beneath one of the extravagant crystal chandeliers while watching everyone laugh like they hadn't just stepped into a fantasy world. What more was I expecting from a bunch of spoiled college kids who had rich parents who never failed to splurge mindlessly on them?
The hall was too bright, too fake or maybe I was the fake one, pretending to belong here when I should just be back in my condo-
"Fat ass, shouldn't you be at home reading a book on your sweat-soaked couch or something?"
Yeah, I have that thought too! I mentally yelled back, ignoring whichever spoiled brat it was this time. Being called fat since I was by far bigger and more curvy than the other ladies my age was just the one thing that isolated me from others along with the constant mockery.
All I really wanted was just to be seen by one person in this dress and it was none other than him. The one man already staring at me from right across the room.
Immediately, my heart did a marvelous flip at the thought of what was running through his head. I'd spent two hours after our short affair session getting ready. Makeup soft but polished as I'd like to call it, hair curled the way he liked it. I had repeatedly told myself I didn't dress for him , that I didn't come for him. But the lie tasted bitter.
He was also dressed just the way I loved admiring him- not like I had ever seen him in any other suit colour aside from the black ones he always wore. His dark hair was tousled just enough to look effortless. Right then, I watched his eyes move from me, and then to the one standing beside him.
It was only then did I notice the perfectly painted nails wrapped around his arm, holding tightly as if to show dominance.
I told myself not to care. I gripped my gown tighter, the same gown she had on but I could tell how much difference there was due to the quality. Compared to the one she wore, mine was a faded color of green I failed to notice and now that I was seeing one just like it, I found it difficult to catch up.
As the Alpha's son, he definitely wasn't poor to the point of getting me something as faded as this…no, it couldn't be.
This was never supposed to be more... he loved me. He made it clear from the beginning- keep it quiet, when the time is right. I agreed. I even said the words first and now, here I was, wanting something more while he promised.
Slowly, the murmurs began but I could hear them…
"Does she want to be associated with him so bad that she has to stoop so low to dressing like his mate?"
"I feel so much pity for her. How can one be that shameless to herself?"
Words like these kept pouring out of their mouths and I knew better than to try to refute their claims since they always had a way of bending my words.
Standing beside him, the one they all said was his mate was the same lady he told me he had no feeling towards, had told me I shouldn't be concerned or bothered about her. Like he didn't have a secret tucked behind his teeth.
Like I wasn't even here.
He didn't look at me.
Not once.
The drastic shift in the hall, the strong smell of condemnation filled my nose and at this point, all I wanted was for him to speak up and tell them he got the cloth for me, I was the one he loved. Just say something in my defense! I mentally screamed in my head, trying not to burst into tears.
My eyes sought him, only to see he wasn't looking anymore. His green orbs that still looked at me with love were now on her, laughing as someone clapped his back, mouthing 'congratulations.'
The knot in my stomach grew tight and I couldn't move my feet as more people gathered around me, staring from her to me, like I was the one who failed to copy her.
Then it happened.
Some guy behind us—already half-drunk, holding a cocktail like a weapon—spoke just a little too loudly.
"Didn't I see you and Ronnie leaving The Lockhart motel this morning?" Late night and early morning sex, huh?"
The words sliced through the air. I froze and so did Ronnie.
He was close enough to be heard and everyone nearby turned towards him, waiting for a reaction. These faces in front of me were no friendly faces and it was only a matter of time before I was going to be pushed around by them like it always happened.
Ronnie's expression didn't even flicker, not even for once blinking. He slowly began to laugh, sounding very easy as he shook his head.
"You kidding?" he asked, grinning. "Bella's sweet in her own way, but not my type."
Laughter followed. A few people exchanged looks amongst themselves with someone chuckling and the moment slowly passed like a prolonged match.
Except I was the one left burning, tears brewing in my eyes as my heart was pulled on tightly.
"Ronnie?" I croaked out with the last bit of hope in me as everyone went quiet, waiting to hear me speak.
"Ugh..I'm sorry, but I don't even know you and you keep stalking me. Aren't you ashamed? Going to the motel with someone and asking a drunk man to claim it's me?
That's too low of you," Ronnie said with a frown, shaking his head from side to side as if buttressing his disappointment.
The pain in my heart was like having a knife getting stabbed into me and then it felt like it was being twisted repeatedly while I choked for breath.
The others laughed in mockery, laughing and booing at me while I tried to understand how the joy I felt had come crashing down on me in no time.
"I need some air."
I didn't wait for a response. I pushed through the crowd, head down, heart pounding, lungs screaming for escape.
The night hit me like cold water when I stepped onto the balcony. I gripped the stone railing hard enough to feel it in my bones.
He denied me.
Not his type?
He'd said it like it meant nothing. Like I meant nothing.
As if I hadn't held him when he was too tired to be strong. As if I hadn't given him pieces of myself I could never get back. As if he hadn't kissed me like I was his only truth in the middle of a world full of lies.I let out a shaky breath, hating the tears threatening to fall. I wasn't going to cry over him. Not here. Not now.
But God, it hurt.Not because he'd lied. But because he didn't even flinch.
He didn't even look sorry.
He'd thrown me to the wolves to protect his reputation, and he hadn't looked back.
I wiped my face with trembling fingers, standing alone under the moonlight, swearing to myself that this was the last time. The last time I'd wait for him to choose me. Because he wouldn't.
And I was done waiting for a man who couldn't even say my name out loud.