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Chapter 36 - Chapter 36: “Dreamland: Now With 87% More Metaphor”

The room was quiet. The snores were synchronized. Even Clucksworth's occasional honk was in harmony.

And then, all at once— We dreamed.

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Kevin's Dream:

He stood on a throne made entirely of breadcrumbs. Below him, an army of ducks chanted his name. He held a staff of lettuce.

> "I am the Salad King," he declared.

Then he got pecked awake by his own crown.

---

Grubnuk's Dream:

A grand soup ballroom. Every broth he ever loved was there. They waltzed. The bisque dipped him. The chowder made promises it couldn't keep.

> "This is the happiest day of my life," he whispered, tears of seasoning streaming down his cheeks.

---

Lyria's Dream:

She was riding a comet through space. A space full of sarcastic stars and emotionally unavailable moons.

One moon tried to flirt. She vaporized it.

> "Boundaries," she muttered.

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Arc's Dream:

He was a spork. A majestic, magical spork.

All the other utensils gathered around, begging for his wisdom.

> "Balance," he intoned. "Between stabbing and scooping. Between soup and salad. I am both."

He glowed.

---

Greg's Dream:

He was normal. Nothing exploded. No one sang. He had a job at a bakery. It was horrifying.

> "WHERE IS THE CHAOS?!" he screamed, before waking in a cold sweat.

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My Dream:

I stood on a cliff. Looking out over the entire journey. All of it. Every ridiculous, emotionally-scarring, metaphor-bloated moment.

The wind whispered.

> "You're getting close."

> "To what?" I asked.

The wind didn't answer. Just laughed. And sounded a lot like the Narrator.

---

We all jolted awake. Simultaneously. In unison. Breathing heavily.

Clucksworth screamed. Kevin flailed. Greg accidentally flipped a mattress.

> "Did we just... dream together?" Lyria asked, looking around.

> "I feel like I kissed a comet," Arc said. "I was a comet," Lyria replied.

Mortax stood at the edge of the room. Smiling. Sipping glowing tea again.

> "Welcome back," he said. "That was Phase One of narrative restabilization."

> "...There's more phases?" I asked.

He nodded.

> "Oh yes. But don't worry. The next phase includes breakfast."

---

End of Chapter 36 (Dreams had. Selves questioned. Sporks glorified.)

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