~LYDIA
Joey was hiding something from me.
I already knew that when he refused to tell me exactly why I left him three years ago, insisting that I just walked out of the house and left.
Which made no sense. If our marriage was truly as happy as everyone said it was, then I had no reason to disappear, right?
A part of me had chalked the entire thing to nothing but distrust. Of course I was thinking like that. I mean, I had no memory, right?
So maybe I really did leave him due to reasons unknown to him.
But when my supposed husband watched me while I slept like a stalker and deliberately omitted that there was a study in the house, my earlier inhibitions about me overreacting immediately faded away.
With each breathe that passed, it was very very obvious that he was lying about something. I wished I knew what it was, but unless he told me directly, there was no chance of me knowing what it was about.
But there was a chance that the secret was here in the study, and I was going to find it.
"Lydia?" Joey called, jolting me out of my thoughts.
I turned to face him with a smile, tearing my eyes away from his desk drawers.
His locked desk drawers.
"Do you want to, uh, eat? I can whip something up for us both," he said, quietly. Looking at him, one night have missed the signs of nervousness in him. But I didn't.
My husband was nervous as hell. He was clearly uncomfortable about me being in his study. I saw it in the set of his jaw, in the way his eyes darted between me and the desk alternatively.
I saw his anxiousness in the way his hands kept flexing into fists.
Yep. He was definitely, absolutely, totally hiding something.
In this study.
And I would find it, no matter how long it took.
"Sure. Let's have a late dinner, I guess. I suddenly feel a little bit hungry," I responded.
The relief he felt at my words was clear. His entire body relaxed, and he smiled genuinely as he led me out of the study.
We made our way to the massive kitchen, and I sat at the counter while he pulled out ingredients to start cooking.
"I am making bacon and eggs. You used to love how I made your eggs. Always the sunny side up. Remember how I used to tease you about it all the time?" he asked, a small smile on his face.
A slight frown furrowed on my face, but before I could respond to what he said, a memory flickered in my head. I tried to grab hold of it, but it slipped away from me as sudden as it came.
And I knew.
"I hate eggs made with the sunny side up," i quipped.
Hell, I think I hated all kinds of eggs. And even if I wanted eggs at all, I would prefer it if my eggs were to be scrambled.
"Scrambled. I want scrambled eggs," I said again, and Joey's eyes widened as he stared at me.
His hands faltered, and my husband stopped what he was doing.
Joey's face was filled with confusion as he held my gaze, and I could see the uncertainty flickering in his eyes.
"What do you mean? You hate scrambled eggs," he countered.
I shook my head.
"Maybe I used to. But not anymore. If you're going to make eggs for me, I want it to be scrambled. Eating a sunny side up egg is disgusting," I wrinkled my nose as I spoke.
Joey stared at me for a long moment as if I was a ghost. And illusion.
"I don't...I don't understand. You are not making any sense right now. You used to make a fuss about your eggs. I have cooked for you for years, Lydia. And this is just weird Having amnesia is not a complete brain reset. You can't just suddenly hate what you used to love."
I shrugged.
"I am following my instincts, Joey. I don't even think I like eggs that much, and all the things you're talking about," I paused for a brief moment, "they're just...they don't feel like me."
Joey's expression morphed from confusion to sadness so suddenly and a part of me wanted to feel sorry for the man.
But then I remembered his lies and secrets, and I squashed that feeling.
He was nothing to me. He was a liar, and might even turn out to be a possible villain in my story. I should not get attached to him or whatever his feelings were.
I watched as he struggled to speak for a while, and I held my breath, wondering what he was going to say.
Was he going to insist that I didn't know what I was talking about and force me to eat the eggs like that?
Wave off my words and ignore my feelings?
"Alright. I'll make you scrambled eggs." His response was so sudden and unexpected. It took me by surprise, and the shock must have been evident on my face because he sighed and walked towards me.
"Lydia," he called out softly, reaching out to hold my hands in his.
"You're my wife, and I love you so much. It might not look like it now, but I would do anything for you. If you suddenly decide that you want scrambled eggs, who am I to say no? Your well being is all that matters to me, love. Nothing else."
His voice was so soft and filled with sincerity that it made my heart clenched.
I smiled and nodded at him. "Thank you."
"You're welcome anytime. Now. Let's get the show going. I am going to make you the most delicious scrambled eggs you've ever tasted in your life," he grinned, and I couldn't help but grin back at him.
Releasing my hands, he reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear.
And the strangest thing happened.
A memory flashed before my eyes. The image was blurry and disjointed. But it was real. A man stood over me, and his entire silhouette was bathed in rage.
He raised his hands, ready to strike me, and just like that, the memory...vanished.
My heart stopped in my chest.
The man's face was obscured, but if Joey was my husband, then he had to be the one in the memory.
And the image I just saw was so at odds with the man standing before me.
If Joey was the man in that very brief, almost nonexistent memory, then that meant that he used to...abuse me.
Right?
There was no other interpretation for what I just saw.
I touched my face, right where the blow would have landed, and I could swear that it was throbbing. I felt as though the strike had been real.
Was it?
It wasn't, right?
I mean, Joey was still smiling at me like nothing was wrong, and my heart was beating like crazy.
Was I hallucinating? Was this all nothing but my brain playing tricks on me?
Or was Joey's secret bigger than I thought it was?
Could someone like Joey — who seemed so kind and obviously in love with me — turn out to be a bad guy?
What if I was running from him three years ago, only to be cast back into his net?
What if it had been a mistake to come back here?
As my husband chattered away, I started to make plans in my head.
I needed to know if he was a good person or not. If I needed to run from him before he was too late.
I smiled back at him when he smiled at me, trying so hard to not betray the fear in my veins.
Once Joel falls asleep, I was going to go back into the study.
And this time, I would break that lock.