Chapter 1 – Did This Loli Just Say I'm Her Fiance?!
After school. The sun was starting to set, casting a gentle orange glow over the quiet streets.
I walked home alone, kicking a small pebble along the sidewalk.
"...Hah."
I sighed and glanced up at the sky.
Nothing.
As expected. Just an empty sky, no flying saucers, no magical girls falling from space, no secret government drones watching me.
"I don't even know why I keep looking..." I muttered to myself. "It's not like something's gonna fall out of the sky and change my life or anything..."
The wind gently blew, brushing against my uniform blazer. The street was peaceful. Only the occasional sound of birds and the distant hum of cars filled the air.
"Maybe I should buy some melon bread on the way home… Wait. No, I need to clean the bathroom today. Mom left her hair all over the sink again..."
As I mentally went over my evening cleaning plan, it happened.
—Bump!
"Oof—?!"
Something small crashed into my back from behind. I stumbled forward, barely catching myself from face-planting onto the sidewalk.
"Huh…?"
I turned around in confusion, rubbing my shoulder.
Standing there was… a little girl.
A really little girl.
Like, elementary school size. Maybe third or fourth grade? Short, with light brown hair tied in small twin tails. Her cheeks were puffed as if she'd been running for a while.
"A-Ah... Sorry!" she said quickly, bowing her head with panic in her voice.
"Huh? O-Oh. It's okay. Really. I wasn't looking either," I said, scratching the back of my head awkwardly.
But before I could take a step away, she suddenly grabbed my hand.
"Eh?"
I looked down. She was holding my hand tightly with her small fingers, staring up at me with big, round eyes.
"...W-Why... why are you so handsome...?" she whispered in a tiny voice.
Huh?
...HUUUUUUH?!
I blinked, unsure if I just heard that right.
"What...?" I muttered.
As if realizing what she just said, the girl's face turned bright red like a tomato. She immediately let go of my hand and started waving her arms in panic.
"A-Ah! S-Sorry! I didn't mean to say that! It just slipped out! I—uh, um!" she babbled.
I stared blankly, completely frozen. My brain refused to process what was happening.
...Did I just get called handsome by a random elementary school girl?
W-What kind of weird event flag is this...?
Then the girl cleared her throat and puffed out her tiny chest, trying to look serious.
"Um... do you know where the Haruhi family house is?" she asked.
I blinked again.
Haruhi family...? Wait.
"I'm... Haruhi Isagi," I said slowly, pointing to myself in confusion.
The girl's eyes went wide as saucers. Her whole body stiffened.
"Eh...? EHHHHH?!"
She suddenly took a step back, then pointed a tiny shaking finger right at me.
"S-So you're... you're... my fiancée?!"
...
…
...…HAAAAAAAHHHHHH?!?!?!?!?!
I froze on the spot. My brain shut down.
What.
What did she just say?
Fiancée...? FIANCÉE?!
Wait wait wait wait wait.
Let's take this slowly, Isagi. Breathe. In. Out. Calm down.
First off—why is this loli elementary kid looking for me?
Second—why does she think I'm her fiancé?!
Third—what is this situation?! Is this one of those weird rom-com anime plots Kouta keeps trying to force me to watch?!
"M-My fiancée...?" I said dumbly, still staring at her like I'd seen a ghost.
The girl nodded furiously, her face burning red.
"Y-Yes! Papa said... my fiancé lives here in this town, and his name is Haruhi Isagi...!"
What the hell is her father teaching her?!
What is this, some kind of ancient arranged marriage thing from the Edo period?!
"Wait, wait, wait, wait—slow down!" I waved my hands wildly. "What are you even talking about?! I've never heard of this before! I don't even know who you are!"
She pouted slightly, puffing her cheeks.
"My name is... Airi Hazuki!" she declared proudly. "And Papa told me that one day I'd meet my destined fiancé when I came to this town!"
Airi Hazuki…?
I've never heard that name in my life. Not even once. And I sure as hell didn't agree to get engaged to some random elementary school girl!
I scratched my head in disbelief.
"Oi, oi... You've got the wrong guy. I think your dad messed up or something."
"No!" she stomped her tiny foot on the ground. "Papa doesn't lie! He said my fiancé was Haruhi Isagi from Mokomi High School! You're Haruhi Isagi, right?!"
"Y-Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm your fiancé!!" I groaned, holding my head. "I've never even heard of this whole engagement thing before! This is crazy!"
She stared at me for a long moment, then squinted suspiciously.
"...Are you trying to run away from responsibility...?"
"HAAH?!"
"I-I understand... you must be shocked to meet me so suddenly... but don't worry! I'll be a good wife! I can cook and clean and everything!" she said with determination in her voice, clenching her tiny fists.
Don't worry, she says. Don't worry?!
What kind of child bride situation is this?! Where are the hidden cameras?! Is this some weird prank show?!
"A-Alright, timeout! Timeout!" I raised my hands like I was facing a wild animal. "Look, kid—Airi-chan, right? Listen... there's no way I agreed to be anyone's fiancé. I've never even met your dad. This must be some mistake or misunderstanding or... or something!"
She stared at me, her expression serious.
"...You're definitely Haruhi Isagi."
"Yeah, that part's right, but—"
"And you're definitely from Mokomi High School."
"Yes, but—"
"Then you're definitely my fiancé!"
"THAT'S NOT HOW LOGIC WORKS!!!"
I grabbed my head in both hands, groaning. What the hell was going on?! Was this real life?! Did I get isekai'd into some weird rom-com manga while I wasn't looking?!
I took a deep breath.
"Okay... just calm down, Isagi... calm down... you'll wake up soon. You probably fell asleep on the train or something... yeah, this is a dream. Just a dream. A weird dream full of lolis and fiancé misunderstandings."
Airi tilted her head, looking puzzled.
"...Are you broken?"
"I THINK I AM!!"
The awkward silence stretched between us. The breeze blew again. A plastic bag tumbled down the street like a lonely tumbleweed.
Finally, she pulled gently on my sleeve.
"...So... where's your house? I was told to come to your house first..."
I sighed deeply, looking up at the sky again.
...God. Why me? Why me of all people?
"Look, Airi-chan... are you sure your parents didn't send you to the wrong address or something? Maybe there's another Haruhi Isagi out there?"
She shook her head with pure conviction.
"Nope! Papa said it was you! You're the only Haruhi Isagi in this town!"
I groaned again. This was bad. Really bad.
"...At least tell me this... how old are you, Airi-chan?"
She puffed out her tiny chest proudly.
"I'm ten years old!"
I collapsed to my knees.
"T-Ten...?! Why is a ten-year-old calling me her fiancé?! I'm sixteen! This is illegal in like... every country ever!!"
She smiled sweetly.
"Age doesn't matter when it's destiny!"
"YES IT DOES!!!"
I could feel the last shreds of my peaceful, quiet life crumbling away.
Goodbye, cleaning.
Goodbye, peaceful evenings.
Goodbye, boring normal life.
Hello... chaos.
Just what the hell kind of situation did I get myself into?!
Why is this happening to me?!
And more importantly... why did this weirdly serious loli show up claiming I'm her future husband?!
I wanted answers. Desperately.
But this... this was only the beginning.