That day, he was probably going to die.
The monsters were already coming down the hill when Kade opened the wrapper on his last cereal bar.
Apple and cinnamon. Not his favorite, but it was the only thing left in his pocket when they threw him—again—onto the front lines.
The sand slapped his face, the sun slow-cooked him, and the misshapen creatures approaching looked like they'd crawled straight out of hell's dirtiest basement.
"We're gonna die! They're gonna rip us apart!" shrieked a voice nearby, on the verge of tears.
It was Mina, the nearsighted girl who couldn't even focus on her own grimoire. Her greatest magical achievement so far had been setting her own hair on fire… by accident.
To the left, Gibs was wrestling with a poorly assembled crossbow. He'd been trying to put the safety on for fifteen minutes and somehow ended up tying his own finger to the trigger with magical thread.
Fienly was already screaming.
"Why aren't you doing something, Kade?! They're getting closer!"
Kade took another bite and scratched his head.
"What if we wait and see if they trip?"
"WHAT?!"
"It could happen. They're ugly and run like they don't have hips."
The glare Fienly shot him could've killed a functional human being. But Kade had an advantage: he never considered himself one.
The sand trembled under the monsters' footsteps. Some flew, some slithered, others walked on legs that made no physical sense. Maybe twenty. Maybe thirty. No one wanted to count them. That would require getting closer, and Class 3-F wasn't exactly known for bravery.
Or for anything, really.
They were the "chosen" ones.
Lowest scores. No magic, no aptitude, no future.
Official cannon fodder, sent out once a month to act as bait so the real magic forces could attack from a distance without being interrupted.
Kade had been in this situation.
Twenty times.
He recalled, with little enthusiasm, the last time he was picked. The academy cafeteria, the huge magic screen, the announcement floating in the air like a death certificate:
"Class 3-F. Lowest ranked. Selected for immediate deployment."
What was curious was that he never did anything. He didn't train, didn't use magic (because he had none), didn't try to be liked. And still… he came back alive.
Which, frankly, was a problem. Because the more he survived, the more they sent him.
When they showed the individual scores, he wasn't last anymore. He was the first of the last. Thirty points for surviving.
A record that, to many, bordered on the supernatural.
"They're surrounding us!" someone else yelled.
Jonah. Noble by name, useless by trade. He was running in circles with his sword drawn like that somehow counted as strategy.
"Got a plan?" Fienly asked, panting.
Kade sighed, eyeing his half-eaten cereal bar.
"Yeah. Acceptance."
Fienly shot him another glare, but she knew asking Kade for something was like demanding a cat to pay taxes.
"This is so unfair!" cried Vint, kneeling in the sand, tears in his eyes.
"Why aren't they firing?!" asked Rowen, a bulky guy who sweated just from hearing his own voice.
Kade glanced at the city behind them.
"Magic weapons don't reach this far. They'll wait until the monsters start playing with us before firing," he explained, pulling out a small thermos and pouring himself some tea.
"Are you insane?!" Fienly yelled.
"Hot tea helps regulate external heat. It makes you sweat, so you feel cooler," he said, like quoting a survival manual no one else had opened.
"They're going to massacre us and you're having a damn picnic?!" she snapped, throwing her bow into the sand.
Kade took a sip.
The others were starting to lose it.
"Do you guys actually want to fight?" he asked, as the monsters closed in.
"Of course not! But we don't have a choice!" sobbed Fienly. "I haven't even had my first kiss!"
"Damn it, me neither!" groaned Vint.
Between laments and teenage melodrama, the group stared at their end.
Kade stood slowly, stashing away the thermos.
"Fighting's a crap option. No magic, no strength—just death. So… let's run."
"To where?" Mina asked, her face half-burnt, staring at the endless desert.
Kade looked too. Then at the monsters. Then behind them, where the city's vanguard was slowly setting up.
"To them," he pointed.
"Are you crazy?! They'll kill us for deserting," Jonah said.
"They'll kill us here too. Personally, I prefer friendly fire," Kade muttered, yawning.
"That's not a solution!" screamed Fienly.
"We won't get close enough for them to shoot us. Trust me."
They didn't say it out loud, but they did. Because, as much as they hated to admit it… Kade always knew stuff.
And that had kept him alive so far.
"Run," he ordered lazily.
They didn't move. Until Kade started jogging without much energy—and the rest followed with screams and tears.
The escape was a mess. Screaming, begging, unnecessary confessions. The monsters were now less than a minute away.
Kade kept his eyes on the goal. He couldn't see the soldiers' faces, but he imagined their reaction. And that made him smile a little.
Mina tripped and fell.
"Keep going!" Fienly shouted while helping her up.
"You okay?" she asked Mina, panicked.
"NO!" Mina yelled, mouth full of sand.
"Run!" Kade barked, giving them both a double slap on the butt.
Their yelps of pain and indignation echoed across the desert… but it worked. They ran like hell was behind them.
Because it was.
Kade watched the monsters just meters away when, without warning, a sandstorm surged from the horizon. It swept toward the battlefield like an explosion.
He made a face that might've been a smile. Luck was on his side again.
He was about to jump into the crevice when a light flared within the storm. And suddenly, something yanked him upward at sonic speed, like he'd been hooked by a divine fishing rod.
When it stopped, he floated inside the storm, suspended meters above the ground. Standing on something solid he couldn't see. In front of him: a gigantic creature with seven glowing eyes, four muscular arms, and a set of wings that made no logical sense.
"Ah, shit. I'm dead," Kade said, resigned.
The being moved slowly, but it was terrifying. Each arm held a different weapon. Its face was a vertical oval with no human features, and its grayish skin radiated disturbing power.
"You're not dead yet, young human," said the creature in a voice that rumbled from everywhere. It had no mouth, but didn't seem to need one.
"I guess not… I'm still sleepy," Kade replied, meeting its gaze like someone watching a dog at the park.
"I've been observing you," said the being. "My name is Saronbinthelios."
"Right. Sounds like a shampoo with minerals." Kade looked around, unimpressed. "You caused this?"
"I've prolonged your existence for many cycles. You're alive because I decided it."
"So it wasn't luck... Makes sense."
"You're a strange specimen. No power, and yet, if you truly tried… you could survive."
"How? You were secretly helping me," he shrugged. "That's not my doing."
"They were tests. I wanted to see your limits."
"And now what? Do I get a wish or something? Because, if so, I've got a solid list involving gambling, idols, and junk food."
"Arrogant human," the being thundered, slamming a spear into the ground with one of its arms. "You're in no position to ask for anything."
"Well, that's disappointing," Kade said, crossing his arms. "And here I was hoping you'd at least grant me immortality."
Saronbinthelios let go of a sword and raised one of his arms like a whip toward Kade. A sharp black claw stopped inches from his forehead.
"I have traveled countless worlds. In this one, you have been chosen to face me. You will be the one to stand against us. You… and your army."
"What army? The idiots from my class, or the idiots currently fighting your monsters?" he scoffed. "You clearly have no idea who you're talking to."
"You have no choice," the being said, pricking Kade's forehead with the tip of his claw.
"Ow!" Kade frowned. "That was unnecessary."
"Awaken your potential. My heralds will come. If you do not defeat them, I will exterminate humanity. And as punishment, I will grant you immortality. In a dimension of eternal agony."
"...Shit. No other offer? A form to opt out?" he muttered, but by then, golden lines were already circling him, and a blinding light consumed his vision.
"Prepare them. Make them better. When I return, I want a war worth fighting," Saronbinthelios's voice thundered directly inside his mind. "Farewell, arrogant human. I look forward to our final battle."
"I don't want to do this, Saron-whatever-your-name-is! Do you hear me!? I DON'T WANT TO!" Kade shouted, struggling against the invisible force pulling him back down.
But there was no response. The next thing he knew, he was falling again—straight into the fissure.
A hard thud, then shouting.
"Kade! We thought you were dead!" Feinly sobbed, running toward him.
"I'm fine," he said, in his usual tone of existential annoyance. Though the creature's voice still echoed in his skull like a cursed alarm.
"How did you survive?" Rowen asked, pushing his massive frame into the narrow crevice.
"They got distracted by the real warriors," Kade lied, waving his hand dismissively.
Outside, the sounds of battle grew louder—roars, explosions, distant screams. The standard apocalypse.
"What do we do now?" Mina asked, clutching her grimoire like a stuffed animal.
"Wait. Get out of here. Go back to the academy. And hope we don't get killed."
"There's an exit! A cave!" Jonah shouted from the back.
"A cave in a sand dune... sounds perfectly trustworthy," Vint said sarcastically, hugging his knees on a rock.
"It's that or wait for a skinny monster to squeeze in and find us," added Gibs, still looking up, his crossbow still tied to his finger.
Kade looked at them. A parade of academic rejects. And then, above their heads, he saw something that hadn't been there before.
A label. [Status].
"Shit…" he muttered, turning away. "Let's go."
Maybe it was a hallucination from the sun. Maybe not. But if that thing was real… they were all screwed.
And he most of all.