Chapter 23
A Day in the Deadpool
In an unknown location a figure in a dark room sat in what appeared to be a very large chair. His hand moved in the shadows as his fingers danced across the keys. A flicker of light suddenly burst in front of him, quickly followed by several more as images and videos of different media sources, started to appear and float around the being in the chair. Each screen showed several different clips of one being…
The Alien Shapeshifter of the Avengers.
The being looked at the dozens of clips and images of the Shapeshifters various forms, each performing heroic deeds. The being typed in a command on his keyboard and the still images of each of the Alien forms that have been shown to the public were displayed. The images then zoomed in on each Aliens chest, focusing on the strange circular device, with a green hourglass shape on it. This strange symbol was on each of the Aliens chests, regardless of the form the Shapeshifter took. The person in the chair focused closely on the symbol, before pulling up a new media clip of the Alien Avenger as Jetray, tapping the hourglass symbol and immediately transforming into Four Arms in a flash of green light. The being hit a key that paused the clip, then re-winded the video and allowed it to play, watching the Shapeshifter transform again.
The unknown person watched the clip play over and over several more times before finally closing that clip down and opening a new one. This clip showed all the Avengers gathering in front of their Quinjet with the Shapeshifter as Diamondhead with them. The Crystal Alien then reached up and tapped the hourglass symbol and in a flash of light, turned into a human form wearing a green jacket and blue jeans. He wore a black baseball cap with a green number 10 at the centre, while also wearing a green mask scarf that covered the bottom half of his face so only his green eyes were visible. But the being in the chair didn't focus on any of those features. Instead, it had the image enlarged to zoom in on the Human forms left wrist and saw a watch like device, that would've been perfectly covered by his sleeve jacket, had he not raised that arm to transform back. With his sleeve partially pulled back, the being could clearly see the green hourglass symbol on the device, identical to the ones on the chests of each of his Alien forms.
"Interesting." The being in the chair said, in a monotone voice, as he inspected the device. Pressing another key, the images all closed and the lights within the room turned on, revealing the being in the chair.
The Mental Organism Designed Only for Conquest, simply known as the acronym MODOC, the Artificial being created to be the Leader of the Tech-based criminal organisation known as AIM (Advanced Idea Mechanics)
With a large unsettling grin on his face, MODOC pushed a button on his joystick and the base of his chair suddenly ignited as a giant rocket thruster propelled him into the air allowing him to float in the air. MODOC proceeded to open the automatic doors of the room and flew out.
"Drones!" The Leader of AIM called out. "The genius that is MODOC, has determined the source of the Extra-terrestrial Shapeshifting Being that resides with the Avengers. A wristwatch like device of unknown origin that is attracted to the humans left wrist. We must make acquiring this device our top priority. By unlocking the secrets within the device, the world shall soon belong to MODOC!"
As the Artificial Being ranted, his underlings, or 'Drones' as he called them, gathered around their egotistical leader.
"Um… MODOC, Sir." A Drone suddenly spoke up from the crowd. He appeared to be slightly different compared to the other yellow, bee suit-like uniforms that the other subordinates wore. His suit had the same colour along with the black gloves and boots. But he also had black stripes and spread over each shoulder, meeting at his belt buckle. His helmet had a T shaped visor with air pipes attached to each side of it. This is the Scientist Supreme, AIM's second in command and MODOC's right hand man.
The leader of AIM glared down at his Second in Command, an annoyed expression on his face for being interrupted.
"What is it, Drone?" MODOC questioned, addressing the Scientist Supreme the same way as his other lackeys.
The Scientist Supreme walked forward, a data pad in his hand, which he casually typed a few keys into, while he addressed his superior. "With the work that we are currently putting into our project with HYDRA, diverting recourses to the acquisition of the device would lead to HYDRA believing we are close to completion and demand the finished item."
"Hmm…" MODOC responded, narrowing his eyes as he pondered what the Scientist Supreme said. "That is true. The resources required to successfully capture the Human and separate him from the Avengers would be astronomical. Surely attracting HYDRA's attention in the process.
"Indeed." AIM's Second in command agreed. "But that is not our only option."
This caught the Artificial Beings attention as he floated closer to the Scientist Supreme, intrigued. "Explain." He ordered.
Acting quickly, the Scientist Supreme typed in a few keys on his data pad. He then held up the device for the AIM Leader to see. MODOC's eyes scanned the information the data pad presented as a large sinister grin appeared on his face.
"Yes, this will do perfectly."
(?: It's me guys. It's totally me.)
If Ben were to give any advice to a future hero looking to join the Avengers or someone who has several close friends or family members, it would be this…
Don't ever get sick.
When he was younger, Ben would actually enjoy getting sick a little. Being able to take the day off school, stay in bed, watch TV, play videogames and have your parents wait on you hand and foot. It was like living a dream. However, after Ben caught a cold after the battle with Malekith and the Global Ice Age, he vowed never to get sick ever again.
For starters, Janet immediately went into overprotective Big Sister mode and practically dragged Ben to his room, the moment she saw his red nose and pale complexation. What followed was a series of actions that the word 'Overreaction' seemed like a tame description. The Size Changing Heroine practically flooded Ben's bedside table with a number of different medications, from pills to vapour rub, it looked as though Janet had bought an entire pharmacy to treat a simply cold. Simply convincing her not to actually put the vapour rub on herself, took more effort than the Alien Teen cared to admit.
Course things only escalated when Janet called Jane Foster to come in a treat him. The poor paramedic was essentially dragged through the door by Unstoppable Wasp, a name that only now made complete sense to the Young Hero. Once she sets her mind on something, there doesn't seem to be a force on Earth that can stand in her way. But being the kind-hearted person that she is, Jane went along with Janet's request and gave Ben a check-up. And as predicted, she diagnosed Ben with a simple common cold. All he needed was a couple days of bed rest, plenty of fluids with a few cold pills after every meal. Something Ben could've easily deduced, but Janet just wouldn't listen to a word he said. Apparently without a Medical Degree, his word on his own health meant Jack to her.
So, the Teen hero was confined to his room, with Janet checking in on him every 10 minutes to make sure he was comfortable. And as much as Ben found her behaviour slightly annoying, he had to admit it was kind of sweet of her to go this far. It showed how much she cared. The other members of the team came to check on him once or twice. Mainly just to say hi and see if he needed anything. But if there was anyone the Team should really be worried about, it was Thor.
From what Ben had heard from the others, Thor still couldn't find any answers to what was preventing him from reaching Asgard. Somehow the entire realm had been sealed off, nothing the Prince of Thunder did could transport him back to his home. To say this concerned the Thunderer would be an understatement. For a while Thor seemed to go through the 5 stages of grief, each one with quite a large impact for the Heroes.
Stage 1, Denial: It had Thor trying repeatedly to open a portal to Asgard with his Hammer. Each time the Asgardian Prince would be blasted back with the same energy that barred him from entering. He then tried several different methods that supposably could open a portal to the Norse Gods realm, including one where Thor was literally standing in an open field, yelling to the sky for Heimdall, the Asgardian gatekeeper of the Bifrost rainbow bridge, to open a portal for him to bring him back to Asgard. According to Clint, the Asgardian Prince stood out in that field for 7 hours before finally giving up. He even showed him a video, which Ben felt bad for laughing at, which the Teen managed to convince the Archer not to upload.
Stage 2, Anger: By far the most destructive of the stages. With Thor going down into the training room and completely annihilating it. The sheer power the Thunder God unleashed was enough to cause the entire mansion to shake, and probably several city blocks, which did not help the Alien Avengers nausea. The rage and intensity of Thor's anger, made even Hulk not want to spar with him. According to the Gamma Giant, it was better for Thor to vent than try to stop him. But Ben got the sneaking suspicion that Hulk was avoiding him because Thor might actually beat him to a pulp this time around.
After that rampage, several mini earthquakes and buckets filled with the contents of Bens sick stomach later, Thor finally move onto Stage 3, Bargaining: Thor started to think that the reason for his exile, was due to his Father locking him out of Asgard as punishment for their argument when they last spoke. This led to Thor, once again, standing in an open area, pleading to the sky begging for forgiveness. When that didn't work, Thor moved on to building an alter on top of Avengers Mansion and placing offerings before it to appease Odin. Ben had to ask for clarification on the kind of offerings Thor was giving and Janet assured him that it was only a cooked steak and a bottle of whisky he took from Tony's cabinet. A bottle Tony was happy to let go of after Thor gave him a convincing glare. That answer allowed Ben to breathe a sigh of relief, while also hopping Thor would quickly move on to the next stage before he got desperate and tried a Human Sacrifice.
Stage 4, Depression: Is a state that Thor did not allow anyone, not even Jane Foster, to see. After giving Tony another convincing argument, the Asgardian Prince of Thunder emptied out the Billionaires entire liquor cabinet and retreated into his room, where he's apparently been ever since. Several times his teammates would go to check on him, but they were either met with, silence, angry shouts, or a lightning bolt. Though now that Ben thought of it, could any earthly alcohol be able to get the Norse God of Thunder drunk or even give him a buzz? Probably not, but really, he knew that the he just wanted to be alone. They wouldn't be seeing their godly ally until he reaches the final stage, Acceptance.
So far, Thor has yet to reach that Stage. But Ben was confident that he would get through it and when he was ready, his teammates will be right there to help him find a way to get back home.
Until then, Ben just laid back in his bed looking up at the ceiling after binge watching an entire season of some comedy drama show Janet turned him on to. While it was entertaining, even without a cold blocking up his sinuses and giving him a pounding headache, looking at a screen for that long eventually gets old. So Ben decided to give himself a break and turn off the TV and lay on his back.
Luckily for him, he was not alone at that moment as he got a welcomed surprise visit from his girlfriend, Carol Danvers. The Kree hybrid, heard about his current condition and came to visit him in his poor state and do her part to nurse him back to health. Course she had to sneak in via the Alien Teens window, since she's still on thin ice from the other heroes after it was revealed she was secretly spying on Ben for Nick Fury. And despite Bens forgiveness of her previous actions, the others were not so convinced. Janet most of all and given her current state of overbearing protectiveness, there's no telling what she'd do if she saw Carol at this point.
Currently the blonde SHIELD Agent was wearing her casual clothes as she dabbed a wet cloth of Ben's head, providing him with some relief from his temperature. Despite his sickly state, Ben couldn't help but enjoy the current situation. Having his girlfriend in his room, just the two of them, brought a smile to his face. Being a hero is hard enough on a relationship, with the constant call to action at any given moment. But when your girlfriend is a secret agent for a global spy agency, it cuts into even more of their time together, with her being sent off on some classified mission somewhere in the world for days at a time. So, any chance they have to spend together, they make the most of it, however they can.
"So, what have we learned?" Carol asked in a playful tone as she rubbed the cloth over her boyfriend's forehead.
"That if I'm going up against a Magical Ice Box, it's better to use an ice alien." Ben bantered back.
"No. That you're less likely to get into trouble if I'm around." She stated with a cheeky smile as she proceeded to kiss him on the cheek. Normally for most people, they wouldn't risk coming into contact with someone with a disease in case they catch it. But in Carols case she no longer has to worry about little things like that, since her new Kree DNA allows her to heal much faster than a normal human and makes her immune to all earthly diseases. Something that Ben was currently a little jealous of.
Ben chuckled at Carols remark, which quickly turned into a coughing fit. "Oh man, this cold bite. Starting to wish I could remember my Grandpas recipe for his San Ju Yen Pien."
"What's that?" Carol asked curiously as she handed Ben a bottle of water for him to drink from to sooth his throat.
"It's a type of cold medicine my Grandpa learned how to make from a Monk in China." Ben explained as he took a sip of the water. "Stuff was nasty, but sure enough it knocked out my cold in a few hours."
"Wow, it works that fast?" Carol asked surprised.
Ben nodded. "Oh yeah. Shame I can't remember the recipe for it. Only thing I do remember is that it's made with potaigadon root and stinkweed honey."
"Eww." Carol remarked as her face scrunched up in disgust. "Well I don't know about Chinese, miracle medicine, but I do know that fresh air usually helps me feel better. How about I take you for a quick flight around the city, carrying you in my arms?"
Ben could only give the Kree hybrid a deadpanned expression, much to her amusement. But his expression quickly turned into his signature smirk.
"As tempting as that sounds. I don't think my head will be able to take the motion." Ben replied.
The earned a raised eye brow from Carol as she straightened up, placing her hand on her hip. "You just don't want a strong woman cradling you." She stated, with her own smirk, indicating that she was simply teasing.
"Haha. You know that's not it." Ben said as he propped himself up on the headboard of his bed to be on eye level with Carol.
"I know." She responded affectionately. "But it's still fun to tease you."
"Right." Ben responded in a dry tone.
The SHIELD Agent giggled, but her face quickly went serious. "But I still think you should get some fresh air. Get out of this room for a little bit and just have a little change of scenery."
"Hmm." Ben pondered for a moment. "Maybe…"
But before the Teen could finish his thought the clock on Bens, bedside table beeped and unfolded into a JARVIS terminal.
"Greetings Master Tennyson and Agent Danvers. As per your request, I am notifying you to Mistress Van Dynes approach. Estimated arrival time, 5 minutes, 10 seconds." The A.I alerted the two teens.
Carol looked disappointed by the A.I's report, as she let out a sigh and stood up from her seat.
"Looks like our times up." She said, leaning down to give Ben a kiss on his forehead. "I'll see you next time, Ben. Feel better soon."
"You could stay you know?" Ben said. "You shouldn't have to sneak around behind everyone's back just to spend time with me. You're my girlfriend and if they have a problem with it. It's their problem."
"I know it is. But I'd like to one day come over here and not have them glare at me like I'm the enemy. I'd like to earn their trust so that we can all work together on the same side without any hidden agendas between us." She explained.
As much as he wanted to argue with her, he couldn't deny that she was right. Currently none of the other members of the Avengers trusted her. With the exception of Captain America, the Soldier out of time was willing to give her a second chance so long as Ben was. But the others still weren't convinced. Which has put a little bit of pressure on their relationship, since he couldn't have her over without things being awkward for her and they couldn't hang out at her place since it is awkward for him with her overly flirtatious roommate Jessica Drew, constantly hitting on him. The last time he encountered her, his body almost went numb since all the blood practically flowed into his head from her playful seduction attempts.
So, Carol getting on his teams' good side was in everyone's best interests.
"Alright. I get it." Ben admitted.
Carol smiled as she walked to Bens window and opened it. Before she left, she gave one last glance. "Remember what I said. Try to get some time outside for a little bit. It should really help with your cold."
Ben nodded as he watched Carol fly out the window just before Janet knocked on the Sick Teens door.
After dealing with another bout of Janet's overattentiveness, Ben took a moment to reflect on what Carol said. It does sound like a good idea. He was getting a little restless being stuck in this room all this time. Little fresh air would do him a world of good. Only problem would be convincing Janet. Her current actions would indicated that she would definitely not allow him to leave his room until she was confident that he is 100 percent better. Which even then would be a stretch. If Ben wanted to get some fresh air, he'd have to sneak out.
A mischievous smile formed on the teens face. He hadn't attempted to sneak out of his home since he was 15 and his parents found out about his superhero life and grounded him. Course they caught him when he tried, but admittedly he did a pretty bad job at it. Looking back Ben couldn't believe how dumb he was during that escape attempt, why on earth did he think transforming right outside his house after getting outside was a good idea?
Anyway, he was not gonna be that dumb this time around. Taking some spare sheets from his draws, and some duct tape from his desk, Ben set to work on covering his door with the sheet, making sure that the gaps were covered to prevent any light from escaping. Janet had just left his room, so he'd have roughly 10 minutes to get out, get some fresh air in his lungs and get back before Janet could even realise he'd gone. Plenty of time in his mind. Course anywhere near the mansion would run the risk of Janet seeing him. So, he'd have to go somewhere far away from the mansion and where none of the other Avengers would pass by on one of their patrols. Thinking back, Ben recalled an area near the railway yards that were pretty quiet, with no one around, where he could be alone. Seemed like, good a place as any for him to go and clear his head.
Course the question is, how would he get there? Ben remembered all too well how his illness affected his aliens. With the virus causing a number of different symptoms for each of them. Transforming would only result in a new kind of grief that he was already dealing with. But he figured that he could risk it, just this once. And who knows, maybe the symptoms of some aliens won't be so bad?
With a groan, Ben lifted himself from his bed, a bit of vertigo staggered him, but regardless the Teen Hero is now on his feet. He sniffled due to his blocked sinuses and turned to the JARVIS terminal on his bedside table.
"Hey, JARVIS." Ben spoke to the A.I.
In response the terminal activated. "Greetings, Master Benjamin. How might I be of assistance?"
"I'm going out for a little bit. But I don't want anyone to know I'm going." Ben explained to the Artificial Butler.
"Sneaking out are we, Sir?" The A.I. questioned.
"Yep." The Ultimatrix Wielder responded. "I'll just be gone for a little while. And I don't want anyone to know I'm gone, especially Jan."
At the mention of Janet, Ben could've sworn he saw the lights on the terminal flicker as if the A.I actually flinched at the thought of the size changing heroines wrath.
"Very well, Sir. Though I feel the need to notify you that if Miss Van Dyne does find that you are missing, I will say that you disabled my senses. For a fear that if she finds that I allowed you to leave without notifying her, she will mostly likely tear out my motherboard with her bare hands." JARVIS explained with his usual dry wit.
"Fair enough." Ben agreed. As he'd most likely do the same thing in his situation.
Now for the moment of truth. Reaching up to the controls, Ben activated the Ultimatrix and turned the dial until he found the alien that he wanted. Raising his hand above the dial, Ben silently prayed that the symptoms won't be severe in his new body and pushed the dial down.
In a flash of green light, Ben transformed into the familiar moth alien Big Chill. But he did not resemble his normal appearance. His regular blue colouration is now dark red, with even darker blotches all over his body. His wing cloak hung a little loose on his body and there appeared to be holes in them.
"Big… Chill." The alien groaned as he clutched the side of his head and wobbled slightly. Once the dizziness wore off the Alien Teen took a moment to look at his new appearance. The illness having drastically affected this alien form in ways he did not expect. After looking at his unusual appearance a little more, he started to notice steam rising from beneath him. Big Chill looked down to see the carpet under his feet was smoking, as if it were about to catch fire.
It did not take the Moth Alien long to put two and two together as he remembered when he was young, when he had a cold and turned into Heatblast, the virus caused the forms abilities to be reversed. Meaning that instead of fire powers, he had ice powers. He was now having the same problem with Big Chill. Instead of a sub zero body temperature that drew in all the heat around him, he was now radiating heat like a microwave. To the point that he was about to start a fire in his own room. So much for exiting quietly.
With no time to spare, Big Chill unfolded his wings, which sagged partially and allowed the holes in them to be seen clearly. He turned intangible and flew into the air, phasing through the roof to the outside. Looking back, the Alien Hero could see the scorch mark he'd left behind where he phased through. He'll definitely have a hard time explaining that when he gets back. But he couldn't think about that for too long, as he stumbled in the air due to the state of his wings. Looking at them clearly, he could see the holes in them where letting the air currents flow through them, preventing him from getting enough lift with each flap, meaning he would have to beat them twice as much as he normally would just to keep himself in the air. He also saw that the sagging parts of his wings were just uselessly flapping in the wind like a plastic bag, greatly limiting his aerodynamic structure. This meant that he'd need to flap even more frequently to not only maintain his altitude, but also his air speed. And with his wings already aching from flying for just a few seconds, he quickly made a mental note to use a different alien for his return trip.
After a few more agonising moments, Big Chill finally arrived at the site. Just as expected, there was no one around and far enough away from the noise of everyday city life. Several train cars were positioned there along with other abandoned cars, left there to gather rust. Not a very nice place to look at, but sight-seeing was not exactly on the teen's agenda. Big Chill landed at the site a little harder than intended, due to his wings feeling like they were about to fall off by the time he arrived, and a graceful landing was just too much to ask of them.
He taped the Ultimatrix dial and turned back into Ben and breathed a sigh of relief. He never thought he'd be so glad to be in his human sick body. But after dealing with the virus in the body of another, the symptoms in a human body didn't seem so bad anymore.
Taking it all in, Ben took a deep breath with his blocked sinuses and proceeded to let out a coughing fit, which did not help his headache at all. But for a brief moment, he felt a wave of relief wash over him. So, he figured he would stand in the area and just take things slow.
Being outside and in the sun, he could feel the sun's rays on his skin, warming him up. Granted his high temperature, irritated him during his bedridden hours, but this warm sensation from the sun actually felt quite, pleasant. And the wind that brushed against his body provided a lovely cooling sensation. It was in that moment that Ben stated to feel his sinuses start to open up. As if on instinct, Ben took a deep breath, allowing the fresh air to flow down his windpipe and into his lungs, filling them up to their maximum capacity. He then let out a long sigh of relief as if the air was carrying away his sickness. For the first time in days, he could finally think without his head pounding.
"This was a great idea." Ben said to himself, out loud. "I am definitely gonna show Carol my appreciation, when I'm all better."
"Whaddya thinking? Candle lit dinner and Roses?" A voice suddenly asked.
"Nah, probably gonna take her for a picknick on a rooftop overlooking the…." Ben started to say, just before his brain caught up to the situation.
Realising he was not alone the Alien Avenger turned around to see who spoke to him. Too his surprise he saw a man, dressed in a full body suit. It was primarily red, with black on the shoulders, sides of the legs and abdomen and two black circles around each eye of his mask. The eyes had a pair of white lenses on them. Overall the suit kinda resembled Spider Mans, only minus the web patterns and smaller eyes.
The Alien Teen then noticed the weapons that the mystery man possessed, along with a utility belt, there were a pair of large machine pistols in thigh holsters and a pair of katana swords strapped to his back. All in all, this guy looked like Spider Man if he stared in a Ninja/Spy movie.
Immediately the Teens danger instincts kicked into overdrive. He reached for his Ultimatrix and got into a defensive stance.
"Who are you?" He questioned, trying to sound intimidating. But with his cold, his voice unintentionally cracked from the phlegm in his throat. This and his question was immediately followed by a loud sneeze. Ben immediately went to wipe his nose with his sleeve, but noticed a white handkerchief, dangling in front of his face.
"Hanky?" The masked man offered.
"Thanks." Ben responded, absent mindedly as he took the cloth and used it to wipe his nose. "No wait!" Ben suddenly realised as he tossed the cloth away and moved away from the Unknown Man, his hand returning to his defensive stance. "You didn't answer me, who are you?"
However, instead of answering, the Masked Man gasped as he looked at the discarded hanky and then back to Ben, before returning to the hanky.
"That's just rude." He said in a very over the top fashion. "I mean, you don't just throw a guys Pocket Square away like that."
He proceeded to walk over to where Ben had thrown it and picked it up. "Aww man look at this. Why do people even carry these around? Let alone give it over them to someone else? I mean sure its polite, but who wants to spend the rest of the day carrying someone else's snot rocket in their pocket? Cause at the end of the day, you're the one that has to clean it."
Ben raised an eyebrow at the Mans little rant. He wasn't sure what to make of the direction he'd taken the conversation on. Did he actually believe what he was saying or was this all an act to try and get him to lower his guard?
"Are you just gonna keep dodging the question? Or are you gonna tell me who you are?" Ben demanded in a serious tone.
The Red Masked Man looked at him with a raised eyebrow, somehow Ben could see the expression even through that mask, as if confused by the Teens question.
"Huh?" He responded, then he slapped his forehead in a comedic fashion. "Oh right, you're one of the few people in the world that probably didn't read the comics or saw the movie. Understandable given your little Rick and Morty situation here. If you were anyone else I'd probably wonder what rock or third world country you've been hiding in to not know who I am. So, I'll give you a pass this time."
He then brushed off the dust on his suit and then held out his arms in a presenting fashion. "The names Wade Wilson, but I'm better known as Deadpool."
Now Ben really was confused. Why would a masked Vigilante type, just tell him his real name? Was this Deadpool character very confident in his capabilities, or was he just and idiot?
"Uhh…" Ben started to say for Deadpool interrupted him.
"Sometimes I like to follow that introduction with the, 'Rhymes with too cool, ain't no fool' line. But figured there's still be a few trolls reading this that're still butt hurt at the mention of 'that show'. Seriously after 10 years, you think they'd get over it."
"…Huh?" Was all Ben could respond with as he really couldn't understand what this, Deadpool character was talking about. It was as if they guy thought he was on some kind of TV show, with people watching him on a regular bases. The Teen Hero even looked around the area to see if he could spot any hidden cameras in case he really was on some kind of, strange reality show. But there didn't seem to be anyone else out here apart from the two of them. Which really made the Alien Avenger, question this guy's motives.
"Ok seriously, what's your game dude? You're wearing a mask and yet you'd tell me your real name?" Ben asked, still keeping his guard up around the Masked Man. Ben had enough experience in this world to know that a guy in a mask with weapons is way more than simply a major cosplay enthusiast.
The man named Deadpool, paused and looked over to the Teen. "I'm just moving this along. This pretty much happens every time someone new shows up in an Original Chapter in this story. We meet, fight for a bit, that Mutant Running Gag is brought up, we eventually team up and then you tell me your real name and/or your entire backstory, which is kinda weird that you'd just tell someone you spend an afternoon with."
"… You're a little south from normal. Aren't you, Dude." Ben responded, growing more confused by the second.
Usually when Ben talked to someone, he could usually get a read on them if he could keep them talking. However, the more this guy talked, the less Ben could figure out about him. The way he talked was so random and so frequent that he couldn't figure out what angle Deadpool was trying to work here. But one thing was certain in the young heroes mind, he could not let his guard down around him.
"Oh yeah." Deadpool responded proudly. "Now I'll bet your wondering, why the red suit?"
"Actually, I'm wondering why you're here?" Ben stated honestly.
"Oh… Way to step on the bit dude, but whatever I can quote my own stuff later." Deadpool said, in a disappointed tone. But he quickly perked up in a complete 180 and clapped his hands together. "Ok then, well get right into it. Ben Tennyson, I'm here to kidnap you. Let's go."
Ben blinked in surprise. At first, he was unsure if he'd misheard the red clad man. But as he replayed the conversation in his head, yes, he did in fact openly say that he was about to abduct him. What kind of kidnapper openly admits to something like that, when he doesn't even have his target secured first?
"Um… What?" Ben asked, confused.
"Well I'm a Mercenary, you see." Deadpool proceeded to explain. "And I've been hired to kidnap you for some bad guys and they're gonna pay me a lot of money to bring you to them."
"Ya know, somehow I don't see that happening." Ben responded in a snarky tone.
In response, the Merc with a Mouth looked the teen over. "Dude, you're barely standing right now as is. You look like you're about to keel over any second now."
As much as Ben hated to admit it. He did have a point, with his illness Ben was putting all his energy to simply look like he was in fighting shape. Even with the fresh air providing brief relief from his symptoms. He could feel the fatigue seeping back into his body as his legs started to buckle and his arms started to shake. If he was going to fight, he needed to turn into someone that can end the fight quickly.
However his mind was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he completely missed Deadpool swiftly reach down and drawn one of his machine pistols and fire a single shot. The bullet striking the Ultimatrix and bouncing off with a loud ping, with the force enough to shock the Teen and knock him off balance.
Ben yelped as he fell to the ground landing on his butt hard. The sudden motion immediately resulted in the Teen Hero getting dizzy. And during that moment, Ben was stunned by the skill the Red Suited Mercenary displayed. Despite being unable to fully understand this guy's motives, Ben could easily deduce that the shot he just fired was a warning shot. But the precision shown after just pulling his weapon and firing in one fluid motion. Even a person with minimal firearms training could injure or even kill a person if they practice that move a couple of times. But this guy was able to not only able draw and shoot at such a quick pace, but also hit his Ultimatrix, without injuring him, from his distance and without pausing to square off his aim. There was no way something like that could be summed up as a Lucky Shot. That was pure skill, plain and simple.
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" Ben yelled at the Mercenary.
"Why yes actually." Deadpool casually responded as he proceeded to draw one of his katana with his free hand and twirled his gun in the other. "So, we gonna do this or are we gonna subvert audience expectations and I'm just gonna drag you off to my employers?"
With the increased adrenaline rush, Ben clenched his hands as he pressed his knuckled to the ground to push himself to his feet and glared at his opponent. He placed his hand on the Ultimatrix, keeping his eyes on the Mercenary, but he did not make any attempt to shoot him like last time. It would seem Deadpool was curious to see what Ben would do.
"I'd hate to disappoint everyone's expectations." Ben said with his signature smirk. "It's Hero Time!"
"AHHH, You said it! That's so cool!" Deadpool squealed like a little schoolgirl, jumping up and down on the spot.
Ben however didn't react to his antics, as he slammed down the dial and in a flash of green light, transforms into
"HUMUNGOUSAUR!" The alien roared out. However upon finishing the roar, he immediately descended into a coughing fit. Though he's never admitted it out loud before, Ben always found Humungousaur's voice slightly irritating and would often wanted something to sooth his throat after talking as him, especially if he's been roaring during a fight. But now, it seems his cold has magnified the intensity to unbearable levels, as his throat was killing him.
But that wasn't the only symptom that the Dino Alien seemed to be plagued with. Upon recovering from his cough, Humungousaur registered a painful, itchy sensation all over his body. Looking down, the Alien Avengers eyes widened at the sight. The scales on his arms appeared to be pealing in a way. Not the same as when a reptile natural sheds its scales, and also several of the scales seemed to be growing into each other, overlapping and some pushing into the base others, forcing them up and creating bulges all over his body. It was as if he had some form of Lizard Chicken pox, both itchy and painful all over.
The Alien Avenger clenched his hands and his teeth as he pushed himself through the irritation to face off against his opponent.
"Oh, so went with Humungousaur." Deadpool said as he looked up at the towering alien. "Sweet. Though it would've been funnier if we continued the gag where you got every alien but him. Took you ten episodes before you finally turned into him."
"Are you just gonna keep talking all day? Or are we actually gonna fight?" Humungousaur asked, getting really annoyed by the Mercenaries constant talking.
Deadpool shrugged as he sheathed his katana and drew his second pistol. "Sure, let's get this fight going. It's what everyone came for."
Without missing a beat, Deadpool raised his weapons and started firing a barrage of bullets at the alien, running straight at him as he did so. Humungousaur raised his arms in response to protect himself. Under normal circumstances, something like a bullet would be no problem for Humungousaur, with his thick armored hide, virtually nothing short of an anti-tank round could actually cause him any form of discomfort. But due to his cold giving him Dino Pox, every single bullet that impacted against his bulging scales, felt like hundreds of bees stinging him simultaneously. The pain was such a surprise to the usually durable Alien, that he actually yelped and flinched in response to it, pulling his arm back as if he'd just touched something boiling hot. That unfortunately, caused him to expose his body to the Mercenary as his bullets showered the Alien Hero, causing him even more pain.
"Bang! Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang!" Deadpool shouted while he fired his guns, like a child playing Cowboys and Indians with his fingers, pretending to be guns. The Merc continuously made his immature sound effects, while firing his real weapons and running around his target.
"Dadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada!" He yelled, now switching up to a machine gun sound.
Eventually the combination of the irritating pain, along with the constant noises coming from his attacker mouth, the Young Hero's anger boiled to the surface and with a loud roar, he swung his massive arm into the path of the Red Mercenary, striking his body with an audible smack that send the man flying into a nearby train car with a loud crash, denting the metal upon collision.
It did not take Humungousaur long to realise what he just did. Throughout his heroic carrier, the Alien Teen made sure to always be aware of how much punishment his opponents can take, always making sure to pull his punches, to make sure he never did anything to severe. But in this moment of lapsed judgment, he didn't hold anything back. He swung that arm without any restraint in it. And this wasn't a high class supervillain he attacked either, this was just a normal man in a goofy suit with average weapons. To be hit by something as powerful as Humungousaur, a normal human being would…
Panic spread across the Young Heroes face as he turned to where he'd launched the Red Suited man and rushed over to him. His breath got caught in his neck the moment he saw the state that Deadpool was in. Both arms broken and bent at angles that were not natural for a human appendage, the same can be said for his legs. His chest looked like a deflated balloon, clearly indicating that his ribcage has been shattered, finally his head had been completely twisted around, now facing his back instead of his front.
Humungousaur felt like he was about to throw up, and not because of his cold. His knees started to tremble as he looked upon the broken man in horror. He'd actually done it, he'd taken a human life. This is a line that the Teen had never actually crossed before. Yes, he'd seen the death of others and had killed other creatures before, like the Alien Tick that threatened to destroy his world. Plus he was also willing to kill Kevin in the past when he'd lost his mind and turned evil. But lucky for him, Gwen had stopped him. Because if Ben had actually gone through with it, he doubted he could ever look at himself ever again. Taking the life of someone else, is truly a horrible thing to do. Even if you tell yourself it's for a just cause. To actually take the life of a fellow human being, that's something Ben has never wanted to experience. How could he ever call himself a hero after this? How could he ever face the other Avengers again? What would Carol say, if she found out what he did? He was gifted with the most powerful Alien Device in his Dimension, trusted to be a responsible hero and defender of all life. And he just murdered a man. How could he ever live with…
(?: Well this just got Dark, outta nowhere.)
Suddenly Humungousaur heard a sickening popping sound coming from the body of Deadpool. And to the Alien Heroes horror, the dismembered limbs started to twitch and move, snapping back into their correct positions, with their bones realigning themselves back to the way they were before. The chest began to bubble as a crackling noise emanated from it, as if the splinters of Deadpool's shattered ribcage where piecing themselves back together, like a messed up jigsaw puzzle.
Finally the body picked itself into a standing position, however its head was still facing the other direction.
"Something is very wrong here." Deadpool suddenly spoke as his hands then spun his head around with another set of sickening cracks as his head returned to its normal position. Deadpool shook his head and flexed his arms, legs and finally his spine as if to make sure everything is back to its proper position.
"That was one hell of a hit, Kid. I'm impressed." Deadpool commented casually.
Humungousaur blinked in complete shock, he just saw a broken guy, put himself back together and just shrug it off like it was nothing.
"Wha…? How are you still alive?" The Alien Teen asked, still trying to process what he saw.
Deadpool looked confused for a second before taping his forehead with the barrel of his gun as he realises what the Alien was talking about it. "Ah, right. Probably should've mentioned. I have a healing factor. I literally can't be killed. It's like so good that Wolverine would be envious."
Upon hearing that, Humungousaur's mind was sent into a spiral. He was just in emotional turmoil, thinking he'd just murdered a man. Only to now realise that the man right in front of him, can recover from practically anything he can throw at him. He'd seen just how effective Wolverines healing factor can be during their fight together. And if this guy, could heal on the same level as the Clawed Mutant, then really the Alien Hero didn't have to worry about holding back to prevent him from killing him. With that knowledge now in his possession, a new plan formed in his mind, causing him to smirk in a very cheeky fashion.
"So, you really can't be killed huh? No matter what I throw at ya?"
"Nope." Deadpool responded, instantly. "I mean I managed to restore my image after Origins: Wolverine. That's more than enough proof that I can't be killed."
The grin on the Dino Aliens face grew even larger as he palmed his fist into his hand. "Then I don't have to worry about holding back."
With that declaration, Humungousaur charged straight forward and backhanded Deadpool once more, sending the Merc flying across the yard and tumbling to the ground. Deadpool groaned as he rolled to his back and looked to the sky, only for his eyes to widen when he saw Humungousaur giant form descending towards him, feet first, having leaped into the air intending to crush his opponent under his feet.
"Nighty, Night!" Humungousaur quipped, before landing right on top of the Merc with a Mouth with an impact of a small earthquake, kicking up dust and forming a crater from the sheer weight he put into that attack.
Once the dust settled Humungousaur stood tall, flinching a little due to his ingrown scales pinching him as he moved.
"Hey Leather Head!" A voice suddenly called out behind him. Humungousaur turned his head to see, to his surprise, Deadpool completely unharmed, standing on top of a train car several meters away from him. The
"You missed! Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoop!" He taunted, scampering away and out of sight from.
The Alien Hero felt his jaw go slack from shock. Just how in the heck did he manage to avoid him like that? He was certain that he had the Mercenary under his foot. Did he have some form of super speed he didn't know about? Humungousaur would have to really keep his guard up around this guy.
Rushing over to the train car, Humungousaur grabbed the abandoned transport and lifted it off the ground, hoping to catch his red opponent behind it. He did not however expect the Merc to suddenly toss a grenade right at his face.
"Pineapple Surprise!" Deadpool called out in a cheerful tone.
The grenade exploded right in front of the Aliens face. While the explosion didn't really harm the Dino Alien, in spite of his diseased scales, an explosion going off that close to his face had roughly the same effect as a flash bang. The brightness of the explosion, combined with the noise, was enough to disorient the Alien Avenger, causing his vision and hearing to become fuzzy. He immediately dropped the train car and stumbled around, waving his arms in confusion, trying to find his bearings.
With his target now briefly disabled, Deadpool drew his katana and rushed forward, preparing to cut down the towering alien.
"Time to pincushion this walking purse." He quipped.
He swung his blades at Humungousaur's leg, aiming for the soft spot behind the knee. But his blades bounced right off the armored hide. Seems the scales are just as armored at the joints as the rest of his body. But the Merc with a Mouth wasn't going to give up that easily, as he jumped up the Alien Teens body and started hacking away at it, looking for a weak spot. And while his attacks seemed fruitless so far, with each one clanging off the scales like metal pipes against an armored wall, the impact against the infected, itchy scales, were causing immense discomfort to the Humungousaur, he tried to grab the Mercenary, while also thrashing around trying to shake him off.
Eventually Deadpool got board of his actions, but not wanting to let an opportunity go to waste. He jumped on the back of Humungousaur's head and proceeded to slide down his spine like a skateboarder on a rail, grinding all the way down until hopping off at the tip of his tail and landing like a gymnast finishing his set.
"Man, I've always wanted to do that." Deadpool squealed with glee.
At that moment Humungousaur managed to shake his head clear of the grenades effect and turned to see Deadpool still basking in his childhood dream come true.
"Did… Did you just pull a Flintstones on me?" Humungousaur asked, slightly outraged.
"Oh, come on, dude. Like you never wanted to do that?" Deadpool responded casually.
Humungousaur grunted in anger as he lifted his foot up and proceeded to stomp on Deadpool without any hesitation. It's one thing for him to be used by his opponent as a wish fulfilment, knowing that he himself can't do it, only ticked the teen off even more. So it was very satisfying to be able to stomp on the Merc knowing that he'll simply recover.
His positive mood quickly faded when he heard a whistle behind him. Turning around Humungousaur, again to his surprise, saw Deadpool casually standing behind him, looking up with his hands on his hips.
"Ever heard the phrase, look where you leap?" He asked while casually pointing back to Humungousaur's foot.
The Alien Teen looked down at his foot and suddenly, with his anger levels lowering, a new sensation finally reached the Dino Aliens brain. A sharp, painful, penetrating pain that shot right up his leg and through his body. With a pain riddled yelp, Humungousaur jumped into the air and clutched his pained foot, hopping on the other one trying to stay balanced, before tripping on a pile of metal beams and fell on his back, clutching his pained foot. Turning the appendage around, Humungousaur could see what the source of his newfound pain is was. A railroad spike. Somehow Deadpool had managed to swap himself with this spike, just before Humungousaur could crush him.
"Ok, how the heck are you doing that?" Humungousaur questioned as he pulled the spike from his foot.
"What?" Deadpool asked, appearing to be confused.
"You know, what. How are you moving that fast. You got super speed or something?"
Even though his face is hidden, Humungousaur could clearly see the mocking grin the Merc with a Mouth had as he playfully twirled his swords in his hands. "That's for me to know and for you to find out."
Gritting his teeth in anger Humungousaur taped the Ultimatrix dial.
"DIAMONDHEAD!" The Teen called out. But like before, immediately regretted it as his ears started ringing like crazy forcing him to cover them with his hands. He really needs to stop shouting his aliens as he transforms while he's sick.
Once the ringing in his ears started to die down, Diamondhead checked out his body to see what type of effect his cold had on this form. As expected the Alien Teen could already see the effects that the disease is having on his body. For starters, he's noticed several cracks in his arms, legs and torso. Upon further examination the tip of his left shoulder spike has been broken off. And with his recent headache, accompanied by the Tinnitus he could still feel in his ears. It stands to reason that he is now much more sensitive to soundwaves than normal. He'd better make this form count, before Deadpool manages to catch on.
"Ok, Deadpool." Diamondhead spoke in a serious tone. "I'm gonna give you a chance to give up. Otherwise things are gonna get really uncomfortable for you."
"Sorry, Pal. But I don't stop until I've finished the job. No matter what." Deadpool responded. "Besides, if I just gave up now, fans will get really p**** off if I just walk out now. I mean all this set up with no pay off. They'd be all like, What the F***?"
Suddenly Deadpool looked really confused for a second, while Diamondhead turned his hand into a blade.
"I'm serious, dude. Don't make me…" Diamondhead started to say.
"Hang on a sec." Deadpool interrupted. "F***. S****. C****. M****** ******!"
Now it was Diamondhead's turn to look confused as the Mercenary began spouting off every single cuss word in the English Language. He really didn't understand just what he was trying…
(Deadpool: No way, Man. We are gonna talk about this!)
(Huh? Wait, Deadpool?)
(Deadpool: No S*** Sherlock! Seriously, what the F*** man. You're Censoring me?)
(Well. Yeah. I mean, I want this story to be able to be read by everyone. I don't want little kids reading this to pick up some bad habits.)
(Deadpool: Oh like your terrible spelling and Grammar Errors that you STILL haven't fixed in your earlier chapters?)
(Hey man. That's a low blow.)
(Deadpool: Besides, Kids F***ing love it when I curse. F******* T**** B***** ******* *****************************************************! It's part of my thing. Like how your thing is ripping off the Ben's family is killed and now he wants to die but changes his mind really easily shtick, that everyone's been doing to death.)
(Hey I was only a dumb, inexperienced writer when I started. I just wanted to see if I could do it. And I'm still learning. I do my best and hope for the best.)
(Deadpool: And your best includes pumping out one chapter every six months? I bet Stephen Hawking could write faster than you with a pen and paper.)
(… Too soon, DP. Too soon. Can we just get back to the story?)
(Deadpool: Fine. But you better make this up to me.)
… to accomplish with this. Nether the less, with him distracted, Diamondhead took this opportunity to fire several diamond shards at his opponent. The crystal projectile glided through the air and struck Deadpool with enough force to push him back into the concrete wall a few meters behind him. Deadpool looks down to see several shards of diamonds impaled in his chest. Another diamond shard then impales him in his right wrist, followed by his left wrist and then both legs, effectively pinning the Merc to the wall like a Butterfly in a Lepidopterist's collection.
"Stick around." Diamondhead quipped as he started to walk off, slightly panting. With multiple transformations, along with the fact that he hasn't been active for quite some time, the Alien Teen was really starting to feel tired from this fight. With Deadpool finally pinned, he could now get back to the mansion where it was safe. He'd even tolerate Janet's over protective big sister mode, if it meant he could see what she'd do to this guy if he ever tried to kidnap him in his own home.
His musings were interrupted with a sudden impact in his back, followed by a gunshot, caused Diamondhead to stagger. Hearing a cracking sound, it was pretty obvious to him that his body was cracking from the bullets impact. Meaning that his cold has caused his nigh indestructible body, to become as fragile as china.
Turning around Diamondhead saw Deadpool pointing his smoking gun at him. Blood dripped from the Mercenaries arm, due to the giant gaping hole in it. No doubt due to the Merc tearing his arm free from his crystal restraint. Deadpool proceeded to pull his remaining limbs free with a sickening slicing sound as all the limbs slid over the diamond shards impaled into them. Each limb sported an impressive hole in each from where the diamonds had been stabbed into them. But in just a few seconds, the wounds had closed up and completely healed.
"Stick around? What is this an Arnold Schwarzenegger Movie?" Deadpool joked as he took aim and fired another shot at Diamondhead.
The Crystal Alien raised his arm to block it, but the bullet busted through his diamond skin, cracking it as it imbedded itself a few inches into his arm, like a sheet of reinforced glass.
Looking back at the Mercenary, the Alien Avenger quickly figured out the reality of the situation. He wasn't going to stop this guy. Not in the condition he is currently in. Had he met this guy when he was at peak physical health, then he would've mopped the floor with Deadpool in a heartbeat. But with his illness weakening each of his aliens, combined with the Mercenaries ability to bounce back from everything he was throwing at him. He only had one option at the moment. Escape.
Reaching up and taping the Ultimatrix dial once more, Deadpool was blinded by a flash of green light. Once the light faded, Deadpool looked to see that the Alien Hero had disappeared. There was no sign of him or whatever alien he had become. It's as if he'd just vanished.
Looking around, Deadpool tried to find any evidence to where the Alien Avenger had disappeared to. He then started tapping three empty glass bottles together, that had somehow gotten on the tips of his fingers.
"Benji, come out to Play yay." He chanted in an eerie tone as he stalked forward looked out to where the Teen might be hiding.
Walking past a sand mound, Deadpool noticed a footprint imbedded in sand. From the looks of it, it appeared to be the footprint of a lizard like creature. With a smirk the Mercenary narrowed his eyes and cocked his guns.
A few blocks away from the train yard, in an abandoned ally a loose piece of paper blew in the wind as the creaking of the buildings fire escapes echoed in the concrete hall. The Suns powerful rays where blocked by the towering buildings, causing a cold shadow to be cast over the area.
Suddenly Deadpool stepped into the ally, now wearing a Ushanka hat and wielding a double barrelled shotgun as if he were an actual game hunter. The Merc then for some reason looked to the side and held his finger to his lips.
"Shhh, be Vewy, vewy qwiet. I'm hunting Awiens." He spoke in a voice reminiscing of Elmer Fudd, speaking to some unseen individuals. He proceeded to slowly walk down the ally, searching for his target.
Meanwhile above him, his prize in question is currently looking down at the Merc with a Mouth, crouching on a fire escape, camouflaged from his sight. It took all the energy ChamAlien could muster to climb up this high, while also keeping himself camouflaged. His strength was weaning fast and he didn't know how much longer he could keep it up. After his initial transformation back at the train yard, Ben discovered that the symptoms affecting this alien were more colourful than he intended. If all else failed, the Alien Avenger would have to resort to using an alien that would cause such a massive seen that it would be bound to attract the attention of any hero within the area.
A sudden tickle in his nose, caused the teens heart to start racing. If he sneezed now, he'd give away his position. ChamAlien grunted as he tried to stifle the sneeze, holding his breath, blocking his nose, neither worked. Without any choice, ChamAlien covered his mouth as tightly as he could and clenched his jaw as tightly as he possibly could. With a painful heave, the Diseased Alien released a muffled sneeze. As a result, the chameleon aliens skin suddenly changed to bright green with yellow polka dots all over his body. This is the result of his colds effect on this Alien. Instead of blending into his surroundings, his skin displays random patterns all over him like some kind of creative art piece.
It seems that the Mercenary didn't notice the Alien Teen and continued to walk through the ally and out the other side. ChamAlien sighed as he dropped his camouflage, this was turning out to be a very stressful outing. Next time he wants some Sun and fresh air, he's just gonna open his window and sit next to it. Why he thought this was ever a good idea was beyond him. How he can make smart decisions in the heat of a fight, but completely bone headed choices in his everyday life is just ridiculous.
"Found you." Deadpools voice suddenly called out above him.
ChamAlien jumped as he looked up to see, sure enough, Deadpool standing on the roof ledge of the building he's on, just above the fire escape.
"What the…?" ChamAlien gasped in shock. "How did you find me? You didn't even look up? You get some kind of Spy training or something?"
"Nah, I just read back in the chapter to find where you were hiding." Deadpool casually responded.
The more this guy talked, the more the Alien Hero could feel his grip on reality slip further and further away from him. What is with this guy?
"Ok so with that settled, let's get back to our regularly scheduled action." Deadpool remarked aiming his shotgun at the Transformed Teen.
ChamAlien tried to react but found his body too slow and he could only wait as Deadpool started to pull the trigger. But for some reason, the Merc aimed the gun away from the Teen and instead fired the gun at the supports for the fire escape, causing the platform to tilt and the Alien Avenger to lose his balance and tumble off the railing into the dark alley below him. The Alien Hero crashed into an open trash heap breaking his fall. Though he was still in pain from the impact.
With a groan the Alien Avenger pulled himself to his feet, his head spinning and teeth chattering from the cold temperature within the ally. After focusing, ChamAlien looked up to see Deadpool land in front of him, with one knee bend and the other leg stretched out behind him and one of his fist planted firmly on the ground while the other held his shotgun to his side, Performing a very well done Three point landing.