So, what can I say about the modern human world and its population?
Well… To be honest, they're stupid. Just phenomenally, depressingly stupid. Very.
I'd noticed before, from Adam's fragmented memories and my own observations, that the local population of all three worlds was somehow too underdeveloped in certain aspects compared to what I remembered from my past life. Both angels and demons sometimes behaved like infantile teenagers. But humans… Oh, that was something else entirely. A whole new level of degradation.
Not only did almost all of them lead an extremely dissolute and primitive lifestyle, where sex, booze, and mindless entertainment were paramount (eighteen-year-old girls here were commonly single mothers already, if they "got unlucky"), but their general level of intellect, their interests, and conversations… it was some fucking kindergarten.
I decided to check this personally. Assuming the guise of an ordinary young man (I had to fiddle a bit to look as "average" as possible and not stand out with an aura of power), I took a little stroll through the streets of a small American town where, according to drone data, the I.M.P. gang had teleported. The town was typical – one-story America, diners, bars, dusty streets. I approached a seemingly nice girl of about twenty, sitting on a bench near a store, and politely asked:
"Excuse me, could you tell me where I can rent a room or a hotel room for the night around here?"
She gave me an assessing look from head to toe, then smiled excitedly and replied with an obvious hint in her voice:
"A hotel? Why do you need a hotel, handsome? Come over to my place, I happen to have space. Enough room for two… and not just for sleeping."
I was slightly taken aback by such directness.
"Um, thanks for the offer, but I'd prefer to just rent a room. I need to work in peace and quiet."
"Work?" she arched an eyebrow in surprise. "Boring! Listen, why rent a room when you can rent me for the whole night? It'll be much more fun, I promise! And cheaper!"
I politely declined and hastened to retreat under her disappointed sigh and obscene mumbling under her breath. And this wasn't an isolated incident! Almost everyone I tried to talk to demonstrated a similar level of… intellectual and moral degradation. It was damn strange. What the hell happened to people here to make them so stupid and primitive? I couldn't even consider them fully human. I had the persistent feeling that the entire population here suffered from some mild form of autism or underwent some kind of lobotomy in childhood.
And the most important and alarming thing was that I (from Adam's more complete memory and internet searches) knew for a fact: just some one or two hundred years ago, people on Earth were completely different. Roughly at the same level of development as in my home world – with their own problems, wars, mistakes, but still thinking, developing, striving for something more than just eating, sleeping, and fucking. And then, somewhere in the last hundred years, something apparently happened. And they sharply, catastrophically dumbed down.
Maybe it's just the population of America that's so specific? I'll have to fly to other countries when I get the chance, like Japan. Here, in this world, it was considered the most developed country after the USA, and in terms of technology, it even surpassed America, albeit slightly. I hope that at least there, the average intelligence level will surpass that of rabbits during mating season.
Strolling down a dusty street in this town, I was just waiting for a signal from the drones. I had "very slightly" tailed the group of noteworthy imps from I.M.P. back in Hell. When they went through the portal to Earth, I followed to roughly the same area, creating my own portal. Only I didn't look for their specific arrival point, and the invisible drones, though quite fast and effective, also needed time to pick up their trail and find their exact location.
Why was I deliberately stalling for time, calmly walking around the city, giving Blitz and his ex-succubus time for their showdown and concert preparations? Simple: purely scientific interest. Firstly, I wanted to see with my own eyes exactly how the process of "killing" a human by demons from Hell occurs – what it looks like energetically. Secondly, how exactly they change their demonic form to human – it was clearly some kind of magic, and I wanted to understand its principle. And thirdly, I wanted to take a look at that very fish mutation I glimpsed in the cartoon – the transformation of an ordinary creature into a monster under the influence of some hellish gunk. Such knowledge certainly wouldn't be superfluous. Besides… for some reason, I was increasingly drawn to experimenting on sentient (and not so sentient) beings. Analysis, vivisection, modification… Strange desires. I wasn't some maniac vivisectionist in my past life, was I? I hope not…
I needed this knowledge and these observations to test several ideas swarming in my head. Starting from an attempt to somehow strengthen or modify the exorcists (or learn to turn male angels into exorcists too, not just girls, as Adam did), and ending with attempts to create some kind of "combat" form for myself – more powerful, protected, perhaps learn to change my appearance at will. Because it pisses me off that I, supposedly an archangel, can't just up and become stronger or change my body to suit combat needs, unlike literally every other scumbag from Hell who can grow claws, fangs, or turn into a monster (Yes, yes, radio deer, I'm talking to you!).
And I had one more, most ambitious and insane idea. And if it works, then… No, I won't get ahead of myself or jinx it. Too much could go wrong.
The idea was quite simple in essence but complex in execution: I wanted to try to forcibly redeem sinners. Not through persuasion, not through coaxing, not through Charlie's hotel, but through direct influence. I wanted to base it on the process of transforming an angel into an exorcist, which Adam performed – cleansing the soul and body of Darkness with concentrated Light. I wasn't sure if it would even work on sinners whose souls were already distorted and saturated with Darkness to their core. If even ordinary inhabitants of Heaven, according to Lute, experienced terrible pain during this process, then what would happen to sinners? But nothing prevented me from checking. Who knows, maybe I'd manage to convert at least some of them. And then, perhaps, the problem of Hell's overpopulation and the need for Exterminations wouldn't be so acute anymore.
By the way, I remember pondering what energy predominates on Earth and in humans themselves. Well, now I could feel it myself. Earth was a complete mess. Here I stand, and my whole body feels the background pressure of Darkness permeating this world. And I take a step to the right – and tangible streams of Light, coming from somewhere above, flow through me. I look at a person passing by – and I see in their aura roughly the same picture as Lucifer's: Light and Darkness mixed in their soul into a bizarre, almost inseparable cocktail. It seems the King of Hell turned out to be closer in his inner nature to humans than I, their "daddy." Yeah…
My walk through the town confirmed my worst fears. People here weren't just stupid; they were somehow… empty. Their conversations boiled down to gossip, booze, and sex. Their interests didn't go beyond watching dumb TV shows or the latest scandal on social media. And their behavior… I saw couples shamelessly having sex right in dirty alleys in broad daylight, saw drunken brawls over some trifle, saw general indifference and apathy.
Oh well. To say I was disappointed is to say nothing. And these are my children? Adam's descendants? These are humans?
I heard from angels that lately, fewer and fewer souls from Earth have been entering Heaven. Now I was beginning to understand why. Is it all because of this widespread stupidity and moral degradation of the entire population? The only thing I felt looking at them was some irrational, secondhand embarrassment. Shame that these primitive, brainless idiots are my descendants. What utter nonsense…
On the other hand, this was too strange to be a mere coincidence. Widespread stupidity, apathy, moral degradation, going on for about a hundred years… Is there a possibility that this might not be a natural process, but the result of someone's targeted influence? No, there is, of course, a chance that humanity brought itself to such a state. But… it sounds so very dystopian. If not by themselves, then who could have needed this? And most importantly – why?
Damn, I only watched "Helluva Boss" once, and only the first season at that, and I barely skimmed the second season in some YouTube recap. But there was definitely something in there about demons coming to the human world for some reason and peddling all sorts of crap, well, and their bodies. Could their activities be the very reason for this degradation? But why? What's the point for demons in simply increasing the influx of sinners into Hell? It's already overcrowded. To exhaust Heaven's forces, forcing more frequent Exterminations and wasting resources on them? To reduce the influx of righteous souls into Heaven, weakening it?
But who needs this? If it's really like that, if this is a planned operation – then it's clear why: a new war between Hell and Heaven is being prepared. But there are practically no suspects in organizing this. Lucifer, as I already understood, is still on Heaven's side (at least, not against it) and certainly not interested in a full-scale war; and in the cartoon, he was shown as broken, apathetic, but a loyal dumbass. Lilith? But she's been living somewhere in Heaven for seven years now, enjoying peace, and seems to have severed all ties with Hell (strange woman). Then who?
The Seven Deadly Sins? But they are all, to a man, under strict contracts with Lucifer since that War and are afraid to even fart in Heaven's direction. Even before, as Adam, I was stronger than most of them, and now I'd crush any of these idiots without a second thought. And I don't care if they might have more diverse and specific abilities – I'll kill them all, be the only one left standing. Goetia demons like Paimon? But its strongest representatives are also the oldest, which means they also participated in that War and, most likely, are also bound by contracts or oaths to Lucifer. Could they have found some loophole or opportunity to break the contract? I doubt it, the chances are practically nil; oaths and contracts are too fundamental and unshakable a thing in the local hierarchy.
But who is behind all this then? Or am I just being paranoid over nothing?
At that moment, as I was passing a hot dog stand exuding a nauseating smell of burnt oil (that moron was deep-frying sausages, oh for fuck's sake, god, what an idiot?), my mask, hanging on my belt, vibrated slightly. A signal from the drones! They found their target! Well, excellent. Let's go watch the amazing magic of demonic transformation and the mutation of earthly fauna, and then… then we'll punish the misbehaving succubi and other lovers of fun in the human world.
Truth be told, I still wasn't sure exactly how I would "punish" them. I didn't want to kill. In my past life, I often fought, that was my nature, but I definitely didn't kill. And, to be honest, I was a little afraid of it. In the heat of battle, on adrenaline – yes, I was ready to kill, defending myself or the girls. But to carry out a cold-blooded execution, even of demons… that was too much. I am, of course, quite an asshole by nature, and my head has been seriously malfunctioning ever since I got into this body, but I desperately didn't want to kill consciously and without extreme necessity. Forgive my weakness.
I teleport to the beach, where the drones indicated. Aha, there it is. A huge crowd of half-naked people, a stage, screams… You wouldn't say a murder and a mass orgy under the influence of demonic magic are planned here. I look around. And there's Loona in human form – a tall blonde in a revealing outfit. She's leading some elderly man, about seventy by the looks of him, by the arm. Who… with completely undisguised arousal on his face, is following her, one hand in his swim trunks, jerking something there, while with the other, he was trying to grope the nether regions of our she-wolf…
For fuck's sake.
Gramps, you should have been preparing for the afterlife long ago, and you're still at it. How disgusting.
As I said, I was physically disgusted looking at all these people. As if I'd ended up in a zoo with sick animals, not in a world of rational beings, which humans were supposed to be. Only disgust and that constantly recurring thought I'd already voiced pounded in my head: "AND THESE are my children?"
I sigh heavily. It's unlikely this Loona will just agree to demonstrate her demonic transformation at my request, at least not before I tie her up... So I need to observe the scene. The succubi, led by Verosika Mayday, should appear now.
And so it happened. First, I saw the silhouette of the demoness herself on stage – tall, curvy, with characteristic horns. Then, clouds of smoke billowed from under the stage, and I focused as much as possible on what was happening, looking not only with my eyes but also with my ability to sense energy. The demoness's body was enveloped in dense Darkness… a second… and… I felt something incredibly strange. Verosika's body changed, "flowed," transforming into her human form, in which she appeared before the screaming crowd of spectators. But it wasn't the transformation itself that concerned me. It was how it happened. I wasn't imagining things, was I? At the moment of transformation, I very clearly sensed a surge of energy in her, not connected to either Darkness or Light! It was that third type of energy – conceptual! She used a concept to change her appearance!
No, of course, there was a minuscule chance I was mistaken. That here, on Earth or in Hell, there was some other crap unknown to me, like chi, or fantasy mana. But I hadn't felt such energies before, hadn't seen them mentioned anywhere, hadn't heard about them from Lute or from Adam's memory. Adam's memory, in fact, categorically stated that only Light, Darkness, and nothing more existed. Then what the fuck just happened? A low-ranking demoness – essentially a simple succubus – possesses a magical ability of a conceptual level? The very technology that in Heaven, it seems, no one but the seraphim even knows about? What kind of bullshit is this?
I was clearly missing something fundamental about the structure of this world. It just can't be! It simply can't! I'm right, aren't I? This is impossible!
I was shaking a little. I was shocked to the core by this discovery. My entire constructed worldview, the whole hierarchy of powers and knowledge – had just crumbled to dust. Everything I learned from the grimoire, all my conclusions about the levels of magic… they were correct, but the conclusion about who wields them – fundamentally wrong!
Okay, pull yourself together, Adam! You're the top dick here, remember? Just… just later I'll catch these succubus sluts and make them transform back and forth a few dozen times. I'll study the process thoroughly. I'll find out how they do it. And then…
And then I'll go to Sera. And I'll scream at that bitch so loud the whole of Heaven will hear! "This knowledge is too dangerous"? Yeah, fucking right! Then what the hell are simple, fucking, succubus-level demons doing this shit for? What the fuck? Is Sera completely off her rocker up there?
My heart was pounding wildly in my chest, tap-dancing a jig of righteous (or rather, not-so-righteous) anger. I was beginning to understand why the previous Adam might not have been taught this – he was quite the bad boy, a slob, and a potentially dangerous element. But I thought that conceptual magic was the domain of seraphim or at least the Deadly Sins, the highest level! And it turns out that fucking low-ranking demons are capable of this! What kind of outrage is this? Why the hell aren't angels taught these techniques? At least the apostles? Where's the goddamn proper training in Light manipulation? Why the fuck did Adam and other veterans of Heaven have to learn all this blindly, by trial and error, risking their lives?
Okay, calm down. Deep breath, exhale. I will definitely ask Sera these questions. No. I will ask them to ALL the seraphim at the next Council. Why the hell can't Heaven's army master what ordinary fucking imps and succubi can? But that will be later. Right now, I'm interested in further studying the influence of demonic magic on humans. And also, exactly how these succubi seduce the crowd. If there's conceptual-level influence there again… I'll just fucking wash my hands of it and go overthrow the seraphim, to hell with them all.
So… I did wash my hands (thankfully, the sea was nearby). Because yes, these bastards really were influencing people using the concept of Lust. It was some fucking surrealism. I just didn't understand what the hell was happening in this world! Where did low-ranking demons get such abilities?
I urgently needed to clear my head, switch gears, or I would definitely snap and do something stupid.
I sigh heavily, pushing aside unnecessary thoughts and emotions. Not only am I burdened by this strange, painful "past," but now I'm also seriously starting to suspect the seraphim of… deliberate sabotage? Of weakening Heaven? What else can you call it? They don't participate in battles themselves, but they also don't want to teach their own warriors normal techniques. Neither for themselves nor for others. Why?
Meanwhile, Verosika had long been singing some pop nonsense from the stage, and the people around continued to selflessly fuck right on the sand, on towels, in the water… And even the few police officers who should have dispersed this whole clusterfuck were just as selflessly copulating with the first people they met. This goddamn world was doomed… completely and irrevocably.
Alright, since I'm here, let's try to at least fix the situation a little. Let's try to dispel the effect of this damn succubus's song. I fill the entire beach area with pure Light, trying to neutralize her magic… Nothing changes. Well, just fucking great. This wasn't pure Darkness, was it? It was the Concept of Lust. Which means simple Light didn't give a shit about it either.
Okay, let's try something else. Fight fire with fire, right?
I concentrate on the feeling of purity, order, clarity of mind. I recall the clean, shining streets of Heaven, the feeling of peace and harmony there. After which, I try to transform my Light, extracting the concept of purity from it. Hmm, it seems to have worked… the feeling was right. Let's see the result.
I spread this concept over the beach… Yeah, there was an effect, but weak. Most of them kept fucking just as they were. Although, no… A small number of people suddenly stopped, looked at what was happening around them with horror and disgust on their faces, and then began to hastily dress and leave, nervously looking around.
It seems to have worked. But only partially. And only on those who, apparently, still had some grains of conscience or will left. But the main thing – I had to really strain myself to create and maintain this concept! ME! An Archangel! And some succubus was doing something similar playfully, with a song! Yes, it was more difficult for my mind and understanding than for my energy reserves – I have next to no experience in manipulating concepts. But still! I was shocked that a fucking low-ranking demon was capable of this with such ease!
Okay, and here's the fish… some unfortunate fish swims up to a metal drink bottle that Verosika accidentally launched into the water from the stage. Apparently, the one that caused the sea monster in the cartoon. Oh no! There will be no fucking monsters here now! Even if these "kids" don't make me want to protect them at all, if at least some of them came to their senses today and left this sabbath, then not all is lost for humanity. Probably. With a single thought, I teleport that bottle into my hands. I'll examine its contents later. For now – I toss it into a portal to my personal "cosmic world." Convenient thing, almost like an inventory.
I don't even know what to do now. Stand here and enjoy the annoying pop song of a succubus (albeit a beautiful one)? No thanks, sounds cool, but not my style. And anyway, I'm really pissed at her now for what she's doing! So… I can do something interesting. Since people in this world seem to have completely lost faith in God and Heaven, I'll provide them with that faith right now. So to speak, I'll conduct an exemplary punishment and remind them of Judgment Day. They'll remember it for years to come. Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha!
View from the Side
Not far from the stage, right above the ocean, a dazzling beam of light suddenly appeared, striking down from the heavens into the water, raising a column of steam. The beam began to rapidly expand, turning into a shining circle. And at that moment, from this light, slowly descending, appeared… an Angel!
A real angel! A young man with brown hair, a kind but stern face, dressed in shining white robes. Huge golden wings spread out behind him, and a golden halo glowed softly above his head. His entire appearance radiated unearthly majesty and power.
His voice, amplified by some unknown magic, resounded over the beach, reaching the ears of everyone there – both those indulging in debauchery and those frozen in terror:
"You are accused of committing mortal sins! Lust, adultery, sloth! I have come as a messenger of Heaven to punish you for your sins!"
The beam of light from which he appeared abruptly expanded even further, covering the entire area of the performance with an invisible dome. In the next moment, this light seemed to gain materiality, becoming a semi-transparent golden barrier made of golden bars. Many people in panic rushed to the edge of the barrier, and it even let them out, though causing incredible pain upon contact. Meanwhile, a group of people, and several strange individuals with reddish skin, horns, and tails, tried to flee in the same way. However, the barrier no longer let them out, throwing them back with a light electrical crackle.
One of those caught – a young white-haired girl in black – in terror opened some old book and began to quickly recite a spell in an incomprehensible language. However, nothing happened. Her magic did not work inside the barrier.
"Wretched spawn of Hell!" thundered the Angel's voice, pointing a finger at the trapped demons. "You dared not only to sin yourselves but also to incline the souls of men to the path of Darkness! Your actions have no justification, nor can they have! And your punishment for this – complete incineration!"
At that moment, the figures of those "people" who remained inside the barrier with the horned ones were obscured by a bright golden light. A second later, their human appearance vanished, and in their place were demons with red and pink skin, horns, and tails. They stared at the Angel in terror.
Many people who had managed to run out simply stood outside the barrier, numb with horror and shock. Some, with trembling hands, were filming everything happening on their phone cameras.
At that moment, the "Angel" raised his hand – not golden and shining, as the spectators expected, but for some reason black, clawed, as if belonging to a demon (strange, but in the shock, almost no one noticed) – and all the demons inside the barrier rose helplessly into the air, entangled in golden chains of light.
A second of silence… and then a dazzling flash of pure golden light incinerated them on the spot, leaving not even dust behind. Only a faint smell of ozone remained in the air.
The Angel once again addressed the frozen crowd of people:
"People! Come to your senses! Accept the Light! Step onto the righteous path, and you will find not just forgiveness, but immortality after death! Eternal life in the bliss of Heaven is much better than hundreds of years of fear, pain, and humiliation in Hell! Repent of your sins, for the Lord is all-forgiving and merciful to all who sincerely repent!"
After these words, there was another bright flash, and the Angel soared into the sky with incredible speed, instantly disappearing from view. The barrier vanished. Everything fell silent. As if nothing had happened. Only the shocked people on the beach and the video recordings on their phones remained witnesses to this incredible event.
POV Adam
Phew, it seems to have turned out pretty well. Very well, even! It was a bit unusual to give such a pompous speech in front of a crowd of terrified people, which I think even made me blush a little, hopefully it wasn't noticeable. But overall, everything went exactly as I planned. The show was a success.
Of course, I didn't incinerate the demons. At the last moment, I just teleported them all straight to Hell, to a secluded little place I'd scouted out during my previous excursions. To the basement of that burnt-out Fun House in Loo Loo Land. Even though the amusement park had burned to the ground thanks to one idiot named Blitz (and hadn't been rebuilt yet), the basement there was made of sturdy hell-brick and was completely undamaged by the fire. The perfect place for a little interrogation. Now I can calmly, without rushing, try to experiment with them. Study their abilities for transformation, for influencing people, for conceptual magic…
And, of course, stroke my ego a bit. Yes, I won't hide it, after those damn low-ranking demons so easily did what even I, an archangel, struggled with, it was damn pleasant to feel my absolute power and authority over them. To assert myself a little at their expense. Yes, it sounds a bit vile, I understand. Clearly not the model behavior of a "Holy Archangel" and "Messenger of Heaven." But I couldn't care less. It was certainly better than the methods of the previous Adam, who would have simply killed them on the spot without any discussion. So there should be no complaints against me.
I appear in the semi-darkness of the brick basement of the burnt building. My prisoners – Verosika, her team of succubi and incubi, Loona, Blitz, Moxxie, and Millie (yes, I grabbed them too, for company, so to speak) – are already hanging in the air, securely chained to the walls with thick golden chains of pure Light, which completely blocked their powers and magic. They are conscious, looking around in fear, trying to understand where they are and what happened.
Well now, ladies and gentlemen… did you seriously think you could just come to the human world, kill my children, corrupt their souls, and commit other atrocities with impunity? You were mistaken.
I look at them with a cold smirk, and a spark of anticipation flashes in my eyes.
I hope the upcoming "conversation" will help lift my spirits a bit and calm my nerves. I wouldn't want to go confront Sera while I'm all worked up. One might do foolish things that way… And I have very big plans for the seraphim now.