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Chapter 1 - There’s No Ship, You Lying Piece of Shit!

"Wake up, you lazy piece of shit!"

The voice rang out over the calm waves of the East Blue—known as the weakest of all the seas.

A small, elegant wooden boat drifted under the morning sun. Despite its size, it was finely crafted, with polished railings and ornate carvings that hinted at stolen luxury.

On its deck stood Taiga, a petite and strikingly cute girl with light brown hair and brown eyes. Despite being fourteen, her small stature often led others to assume she was much younger. She stood in front of the cabin door, fists clenched, glaring at it like she was ready to burn it down with her eyes alone.

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She banged again—harder this time.

"Oi! Don't make me kick this door in, Makoto!"

Finally, with a slow creak, the door opened a crack.

Makoto appeared in the doorway, shirt wide open.

At first glance, he looked deceptively normal—handsome, with jet-black hair usually tousled like he hadn't bothered to style it, and unnervingly intense red eyes. They framed a pale face with strong, symmetrical features, a smirk locked and loaded. His body was lean and athletic, standing around 180 cm tall (5'11"). But his entire vibe screamed one thing: a smug bastard who thought everything—and everyone—was beneath him.

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He blinked at her. Yawned obnoxiously.

"…Oh. It's you. I thought it was a seagull choking to death."

Taiga's hands curled into fists.

Makoto rubbed his eyes and gave her a once-over, then grinned.

"You've got worse bedhead than me. That's impressive. You look like a hedgehog that lost a fight with a blender."

Taiga flared. "I've been up for FOUR HOURS, working like a damn slave, while you—!"

"Maid," he corrected smugly. "Don't downgrade yourself."

"You kidnapped me into this job!"

Makoto waved her off. "Oh, please. I saved you from pirates. You should be thanking me."

Taiga let out a scream of pure rage.

Makoto, unfazed, leaned in slightly, voice dropping to that silky condescending tone she hated more than death.

"Aw, is little Taiga grumpy again? Did my precious maid forget her nap? Or is it because your arms are too short to mop the whole deck properly?"

Taiga froze.

Then started vibrating.

"I am THIS CLOSE to murdering you with a ladle."

Makoto tilted his head mockingly. "You'd need a stool first."

She lunged, swinging her broom like a katana. Makoto side-stepped easily, still half-asleep, grinning like a shark.

"Such violence in the morning~ It's adorable. You should put that energy into ironing my sheets."

"I'm going to poison your tea."

"I don't drink tea."

"THEN I'LL POISON YOUR SOUL."

He tapped her forehead lightly with a single finger, like flicking a button.

"Too late. Already corrupted."

Taiga staggered back, snarling. "You—! You infuriating, smug, spoiled—!"

"—handsome, genius, charming—?"

She launched at him again, only for Makoto to shamelessly catch her, tackle her gently to the floor, and start roughly messing up her hair like she was a puppy.

"If you hate me so much," he said calmly, still playing with her hair, "why haven't you left already? I never forced you to stay."

Taiga flinched. Just for a second.

"Tch… Shut up. You don't get to ask that."

Makoto raised an eyebrow. His grin widened—dangerously.

"Ohhh, I get it now." He leaned in mockingly close, voice low and cruel. "You fell in love with me, didn't you? That's why you stayed."

Taiga blinked—offended on a spiritual level.

Makoto didn't stop. "Don't worry. That's completely normal for eight-year-olds like you."

She almost exploded.

"NEVER in my life would I like someone like you! And I'm FOURTEEN, you BLIND, DONKEY-HEADED BASTARD!!"

Suddenly, Makoto's eyes flashed crimson for just a second. He tilted his head, then smiled.

"…Bingo," he whispered, completely ignoring Taiga now.

Without warning, he turned toward the horizon and pointed lazily.

"Do you see that pirate ship chasing the civilian vessel? Head for the pink one. I'll be back in a bit."

"Pink pirate—what?"

Before Taiga could process, Makoto vanished in a blur of motion, disappearing off the deck like he was never there.

She stood there blinking, then slowly looked around the empty sea.

"…THERE'S NO SHIP, YOU LYING PIECE OF SHIT!!"

Her scream echoed across the calm waters.

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